Look Beyond What You See

THUMP!

I groan and open my eyes a smidgen to see who is so uncouth as to disturb me. A weak throbbing just behind my forehead begins, all that remains of the pounding and dizziness that occupied my most recent waking hours. I feel worlds better, but that does not placate my irritation at being awakened before I was ready.

“Who’s there?” I demand grumpily, searching my darkened bedchamber with bleary eyes for the culprit.

“Ah, Aerys, you’re awake,” Malina’s cheerful voice greets me, seemingly without care for my less than amiable state of mind. “I was hoping to speak with you before the day began. How are you feeling?”

“Better than the last time I was awake. What time is it?”

“Just before dawn. You’ve been asleep since before suppertime yesterday. And you’re lucky Zinaida summoned Dmitri for supper and kept him away afterwards, because you talk in your sleep, and he would not have liked everything you said.”

My eyes widen and I sit up in bed. “What did I say?”

Malina laughs at my expense. “I was only referring to a single, mumbled comment on Giacomo’s appearance. You think he’s attractive, do you?”

“I’ve admitted as much before, though I still do not think him as handsome as my fiancé.”

“Aye, I remember. I don’t know how you would have known that he sleeps without a shirt, though.”

My blood runs cold. “Beg pardon?”

“I only caught bits and pieces. But ‘bed,’ ‘chest,’ and ‘muscles’ were all in the same mumbled thought as your combat tutor’s name.” What in the world is wrong with me?! “Aerys, have you been--”

“Absolutely not!” I protest vehemently. “I had a dream yesterday morning...” And so I explain to Malina about Acionna and the clairvoyance, and how I had seen her and Giacomo talking yesterday morning when she went to tell him that I would not be at training. I even repeated their conversation to her word for word, that she might believe me. Her face goes pale and she sits down suddenly in a conveniently located chair.

“Sweet Mother Mary in heaven....” she mutters, pale as the first weak rays of summer dawn that are fighting their way through my curtains. “I’ve never heard of such a thing, never imagined it was possible. If this is some kind of a joke--”

“How else would I have known your exact words, Malina?” She shrugs and begins massaging her temples, eyes wide with disbelief. “I meant to thank you, by the way, for handling that situation so well.”

Malina chuckles. “I thought, after overhearing your sleep-talking, that perhaps I could have done better.”

“No. You spoke exactly right.”

“Admittedly it was difficult not to be distracted. He is quite an attractive man.”

“Perhaps you would see fit to distract him from me.”

“I could never do such a thing, milady. My sweetheart would be very much offended, and anyway, I cannot compare to you in the eyes of an elemental, having no magical gifting or elementalism, myself.”

I sigh heavily and sink back down into my pillows, massaging my own temples. What am I going to do with this situation? How did everything get so complicated?

“I don’t know what to do about him, Malina.”

“His arrival and Yekaterina’s have certainly made your relationship with Dmitri more complicated,” she observes. “Perhaps there is a way to play them off on each other?”

“They see each other at meals every day and barely acknowledge each other. Yekaterina has had her cap set for Dmitri since she arrived, and Giacomo has spent long enough watching the way she acts towards Dmitri.... He admits that she is an attractive woman, but has said other things to me that would indicate he has no interest in her.”

“So the two of you talk a lot during training?”

“It depends on the day, or it has. I promised Dmitri, that night on the roof, that personal conversations between myself and Giacomo would no longer occur. As you know, he was quite displeased that Giacomo read the letter from my sister before he did.”

“Yes, I gathered as much. What, pray tell, was in that letter?”

I turn away and close my eyes at the painful reminder of my sister’s message to me. “You can read it, if you would like. It’s sitting on my desk, underneath that book of Russian grammar.”

“Is it that bad, that you cannot tell me? Has she refused to be your Matron of Honor?”

“She has not, but she might yet, once I tell her that I am marrying into a family of elementals and that I have magic of my own. She has become rather religious, since she left, and views such things as sin. She would not want to sanction such things--”

“If she is not sister enough to accept you as you are and to recognize that you have as little control over this match as she had with her husband, then she does not deserve the place of honor you have offered her in your wedding.”

“Would you take that position, if I offered it to you instead?”

She seems surprised that I would even suggest such a thing. “I don’t know what Zinaida would think about that, given the difference between you and me in rank, and your sister has far more right to that place than I do, should she be willing. But if she is not, or if she insults you on account of her own prejudices and beliefs, then it would be an honor and my pleasure to take that position,” she answers carefully. I smile gratefully and open my arms to her for an embrace, which she quickly accepts and returns.

“Thank you. You’re a true friend,” I whisper, a bit choked up by this burst of loyalty and friendship from Malina. I have had very few friends in my life, and it seems that I am losing the friend I once I had in Kyla. To learn that I have a new friend of such excellent caliber as Malina is both encouraging and balm for my wounds. “I’ll let you know what my sister says, after I write back to her and receive her reply.”

“Of course, of course. There is no rush, after all, since the wedding has been indefinitely postponed.”

I frown at that and sigh deeply. “Sometimes I wonder if we made the right choice. Maybe, if we had decided to rush things instead--”

“You would be no better off, let me assure you. Rushed wedding plans under Zinaida’s direction would have been just as stressful as what you are currently experiencing, if not more so. And the conflict you are dealing with in your relationship with Dmitri is something better dealt with before marriage. You will both be stronger for it, and when you make it through, you will have laid a foundation for your relationship far stronger than anything you could have built without conflict.”

“I really hope you’re right.” I pause for a moment while thoughts swirl in my head without rest, like disturbed dust particles in an air-bender’s presence. “Do you suppose I’m well enough for my usual schedule today?”

“If you feel well enough for it and you tell Giacomo in no uncertain terms to be lenient at training today, I see no reason why not. You certainly slept enough to be well, anyway. Let’s get you another glass or two of water before Juniper comes in, also. She’ll be the one to convince, not me.”

“Of course. I need to thank her for her help yesterday, too.” And training with Giacomo ought to be a great treat, indeed, after what I learned yesterday. I expect I’ll have too little trouble convincing him to be lenient and too much trouble convincing him to do anything productive without breaking my promise to Dmitri. No personal conversations with the combat tutor. I wish I’d gotten his exact definition of what that means. Somehow I suspect that our opinions on the matter differ. But I won’t get a chance to ask him, unless he comes in to check on me before breakfast, and I’m not sure I really want to ask him. At least if I don’t know for sure, I can plead ignorance in an argument.

I have a bad feeling about today. I feel almost back to normal physically, but between Acionna’s visit and my dreams and all the thoughts swirling in my head… Something is out of balance, off-kilter. I can’t put my finger on what, but I cannot help feeling that some misfortune lurks ahead.