SWNOVELS Lilac: Chapter 18
They had a lot of goddamn nerve.
Even though Houston was a hypocrite and Braxton was a tease, I wasn’t angry at them. I fucked up. I reacted in the heat of the moment only to regret it later—story of my miserable life. A girl didn’t want to sleep with me? Big fucking deal. Someone was willing on every corner.
Braxton was different, but she was no less willing, and if Houston hadn’t intervened, I’d be rearranging her guts right now. What irritated me most was that I’d lashed out like a prepubescent boy when I didn’t get my way.
I wasn’t going to apologize. I doubt either was expecting one, and it wouldn’t change the fact that I wasn’t a nice guy. Unlike Houston and Jericho, I wouldn’t pretend to be noble.
We’d been on the road for a couple of hours now with six or seven more to go. Vegas was the third city of the tour and our fourth and fifth shows. I was just eager to get there. If nothing else got me excited, gambling, music, sex, and now Braxton fucking Fawn did the trick.
I was lying in my bunk with the curtain closed, trying to drown out the sound of her voice as she goofed around with Rich. I hated that he knew how to get a smile out of her. It wasn’t just because I was jealous.
She was the enemy.
A sexy little insurgent.
If it were up to me, I’d drive her ass to the deepest part of the desert and leave her there. Braxton was trouble, and we caused enough on our own.
My phone began buzzing in my pocket, and I planned to ignore it until I heard Braxton laugh at something Rich said. I’m sure she hadn’t meant it to sound sexy…just like Cain hadn’t meant to kill Abel.
Shoving my hand in my jeans, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and accepted the call without opening my eyes. I didn’t care who was on the other end. I needed to drown her out.
“Son.”
Fuck.
I’d been hoping for a telemarketer. Since I couldn’t talk to my friends, it wouldn’t be the first time I gabbed the ear off a nameless, faceless stranger. So far, I haven’t had any complaints. Shit, they called me.
As for my father, I hadn’t heard from him since he kicked me out on my ass and emptied my bank account six years ago. If he hadn’t, I’d be married to some white-stocking deb who only spread her legs for me if the lights were out. Standing on my own had been harder than it looked. A few months more and letting my parents decide every facet of my future would have seemed like a small price to pay.
“Loren James speaking.” I refused to acknowledge that I was his kid.
I heard his heavy sigh and cracked a smile. “We need to talk.”
“Yeah, the phone call clued me in. Besides, we both know you don’t give a shit how I am.” It was evident in the fact that he hadn’t bothered to ask. I’ve only ever known three types of people: those who cared, those who pretended, and my father.
“You know I’m not one to mince words, boy.”
My jaw tightened, and the only thing restraining me was fear of cracking a tooth. I didn’t spend years keeping my smile flawless to waste one on him. “It’s been six years, Father.”
“Precisely. It’s been six years. It’s time you stop goofing around with your friends and come home.”
“Hard pass.”
“Loren,” my father said on a sigh as if he were weary already from our thirty-second talk after six years of silence. “Son—”
“I’m not your son, remember? That’s what you said when you threw me out.”
“We both did things we regret,” he returned, and I recognized it for the bait that it was.
“That’s where you’re wrong. At least it got one of us far away from you.”
“Your mother wants you home.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “So? Ornaments are meant to be seen, not heard. She served her purpose twenty-eight years ago.”
“Do not talk about your mother that way.”
Pulling my lips back, I bared my teeth as if he could see me. “Why not? You do.”
“You’re a grown man. I’m not going to coddle you. It’s no secret your mother and I aren’t happy, haven’t been for years, but that’s none of your concern.”
“Is this why you called me? To whine about your marriage? You can afford a licensed therapist, Father. You don’t need me.”
I was ready to hang up when his next words stopped me. “If you come back home, I’ll retire early, and the empire I built will be yours. You have my word.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I’ve underestimated your stubbornness. I don’t approve of your method, but the fact still is that you thrived. As a self-made man, I respect that. As my sole heir, your place is here. Come home, take my place as head of the company, and you’ll have full control.”
Orson James hadn’t inherited his fortune as I would have if he hadn’t tossed me away. He’d amassed it from nothing using his uncanny ability to exploit the desires of anyone in his way.
My father had just offered mine on a silver platter.
Without me, he had no one to ensure the fruits of his labor wouldn’t dissolve like a biodegradable waste after he was gone. In retrospect, I should have seen this coming, but unlike him, I’d overestimated his stubbornness.
“And you think that’s good enough? You think I want to come back?”
“I know you, son. You think that I don’t, and I understand why, but I’m your father. If you were truly happy, you wouldn’t have answered the phone. You wouldn’t still be talking to me. Come home, and my kingdom is yours. I’ll even let you marry whom and when you wish.”
Even though my mind was still racing, I answered my father.
“Anything else?” I didn’t want him to know that I was considering it, and he wouldn’t care that I hated myself for being tempted. I should have been elated. I should have been jumping at his offer. The problem wasn’t just that I didn’t trust him. It was also because it meant letting go of my friends who I hated. Figures.
“Yes. You have three months to decide.”
“Three months? Seriously? Cut the crap, pops. You know I’m on tour. I literally just left California two hours ago.”
“If the decision to abandon your friends is hard for you, ask yourself if you’re truly irreplaceable to them. You’re my son. I think the answer is quite clear whether or not you are to me.”
It took me several stunned seconds to realize he’d hung up. Still shocked, I pulled the phone away from my face and stared at the screen. The background happened to be an old shot of Houston, Jericho, and me laughing at some shit I can’t remember because it’s been so long since we shared moments like these. Several minutes passed, and I was still trying to decide if I’d dreamt the whole thing.
The faint sound of something hitting the floor, followed by a gasp that was too delicate, caught my attention. I ripped back the privacy curtain that shielded me in my bunk and found Braxton standing there, her already round eyes bugging out of her head. I wasted no time climbing out of my bunk, and then I made a dick move by towering over her in the cramped space.
“What’s your problem, Fawn?”
“I—what?”
“Why are you standing here like I’m about to ax you?”
I watched as her attitude returned, and she tried and failed to look like she wasn’t intimidated by my closeness. I would have laughed if the conversation with my father wasn’t playing in my head on repeat.
“Maybe because you’re looking at me like you are?”
“How much did you hear?” I demanded, cutting to the chase.
Of course, she chose to play stupid.
“What?”
“You were eavesdropping on a private conversation.” Pushing forward until she was trapped, I rested my forearms on the top bunk she’d claimed. I didn’t want to think about the fact that it was directly across from mine. “Someone should teach you some manners.”
She snorted, looking genuinely amused. “And you’re the man for the job? That’s like the pot teaching the kettle how not to be black.” She rolled those innocent looking eyes that hid the wickedness beneath.
“You know what else is rude?” I chose to ignore everything she’d just said.
“No.” Her eyebrows dipped as a wary look entered her eyes. This one was smart. “What?”
“Offering to let me fuck you and then crashing the party before it even started.”
“I didn’t offer—”
“You did,” I cut her off before she could lie. “I know a woman who wants to be fucked when I see one.”
She chewed on her lip before looking away. “Call it a momentary lapse in judgment.”
“I had time to think about your momentary lapse and came to a conclusion.”
Still refusing to meet my gaze, she shot back, “I’m holding my breath until I hear it.”
And she wondered why I was slowly becoming obsessed.
“You said yes to me.” Her alarmed gaze flew to me, and I smiled. Rich might have a knack for making her smile, and Houston had mastered making her obey, but I was the only one who lowered her guard. Enough to be vulnerable. “And no one can take that away, baby fawn. Not even you.”
“I may not be able to take it back, but I can make sure it never happens again.”
Pressing forward until there was no space left between us, I enjoyed the feeling of her soft body against mine as her breathing became short and quick. “You’re trying to piss me off.”
“Am I? I’d rather not see you throw another tantrum. Can you back up, please?”
Instead of doing as she asked, I studied her. She kept swallowing between pants as if she tasted something, only to sniff the air as if she’d find the answer there. It was subtle and easy to miss if I weren’t standing so close. My stomach clenched as a thought occurred to me.
“You’re a virgin, aren’t you, Braxton?”
She huffed, her face clouded in disbelief. “Why? Because I’m not falling all over you? This conversation is coming dangerously close to sexist, asshole.”
I chuckled because I genuinely didn’t give a shit. She was naïve to think I would. “If by a snowball’s chance in hell you’re not a virgin, I’m guessing you haven’t been fucked in a while. How long has it been?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“Maybe it hasn’t sunk in yet, but you’re not going to get much privacy on this rig. That means we’re gonna know each other real well, real soon. Stop clutching those imaginary pearls and tell me.”
“If I tell you, will you back off?”
“Sure.”
“I mean off me. I can feel your dick, dude.”
“I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not. What I am is waiting.”
She let out a long groan before fidgeting. “It’s been a while, okay?”
Interesting.
“What are we talking? Days? Weeks? What?” She refused to look at me, which made my heart rate rise. “Months?” When she didn’t respond, I wondered what that meant until she shuffled her feet again and wrinkled her nose. My jaw dropped, making her wince and confirm the conclusion my mind had already drawn. “Are you telling me that you haven’t been fucked in years?”
“It’s not a big deal.”
“Oh, but it is. It’s a huge deal. Gargantuan. Monstrous. Enormous. How did this happen?” I sounded as if someone had told me the world was going to end in three days. If I wanted inside Braxton before, I was foaming at the mouth to fuck her now. I wanted to howl at the moon over her poor, neglected pussy.
“It was my choice.”
“No shit. No one sane would refuse to fuck you, baby fawn. This is one hundred percent your fault. Now tell me why you’d do this to yourself.”
“That wasn’t part of the deal.”
“I want to renegotiate.”
“And I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” she snapped.
I didn’t have to look deep to see that the anger brimming her eyes was real. It latched onto my own rage coiling inside of me as my mind turned over the reasons why until it settled on the darkest possible conclusion. I immediately took a step back, giving her the space she coveted and hating myself for not listening sooner.
“Did someone hurt you?”
The words were out of my mouth before I considered whether I had the right to ask them. I was itching to turn this bus around and tear apart California until I found the dead fuck who dared.
Meanwhile, Braxton was blinking up at me in horror. “What? No! Of course not.”
I stared back at her, unsure whether to believe her or not. Like I said, I wasn’t the most honorable man around, but there were lines even I wouldn’t cross. Even if she were lying, wrestling the truth from her would only make me as bad as the man who hurt her.
“Fuck, I need a drink.” Stupid sobriety pact. I peered down at Braxton. “Ever been to Vegas?” She blinked her confusion at my rapid change of subject, but then her cheeks reddened in embarrassment even as her shoulders deflated in relief.
“I’ve never been outside of California.”
“Well, today’s your lucky day. We have two whole days to kill, and I know all the best games in Vegas.”
“But I don’t gamble.”
“You do now. Wear something nice.”