Life After Undeath

We all told Osiris that we liked his story, and he happily said that he was glad that we’d enjoyed it, and then Juno began to tell us a tale.

“A long time ago, there was a sand monster named Storm.

This sand monster would bury those who’d intrude on them by swallowing them up, and those who Storm swallowed up would never be seen by those who’d known them again.

For some reason, though, folks continued intruding upon them. Why didn’t they just leave well enough alone?

Well, it turned out that the villagers who lived near Storm just threw all of their criminals into them.

They figured that it made sense to do this. What better way to deal with crime than to just send them all into the clutches of the dreaded sand monster?

Storm eventually figured out what they were doing, and decided to play a little prank on them.

And, so, Storm adjusted their stomach so that all of the criminals could have kids and whatnot in there, and for thousands of years a society of all of the criminals and the descendants of the criminals flourished inside of Storm’s stomach.

Storm eventually vomited all of them up, and all of the criminals and descendants of criminals outnumbered the villagers who lived near Storm, and so they managed to chase the villagers away and take the land for themselves.

The villagers who they’d chased away were mad, but the criminals and descendants of criminals reasoned with them and said that they were lucky that they hadn’t sent them into the sand monster’s belly like the villagers had done to them.

Then, the villagers decided that getting sucked into the sand monster’s belly must be a good thing (after all, all of the criminals had emerged stronger than when they’d entered!), and so all of the villagers charged into the sand monster’s belly!

Storm decided to do the same thing with them that they’d done with the criminals, and they vomited them up after thousands of years.

The criminals had been expecting that this might happen, though; and so they had part of the land all ready for them, and said that the recently vomited up villagers could just live there.

The vomited up villagers agreed to this solution, and everyone was living very happily and peacefully.

But then Storm got mad that nobody was coming over to get eaten anymore, and so they swept over the land where the villagers and criminals were and ate all of them up!

Storm wasn’t sure what to do next. Would they just vomit them up again in a few thousand years?

Ah well, it was of no matter. Storm was nice and full from their tasty meal, and they’d worry about what to do with all of the criminals and villagers who they’d swallowed up later.

Then, Storm noticed that the criminals and villagers inside of their stomach did a reset of crimes, which meant that everyone’s records had been cleared. This meant that there were no longer any criminals in their belly, but only villagers.

An interesting development…

After thousands of years, Storm vomited up all of the villagers, and they all fled far away from the sand monster so that they wouldn’t get eaten again!

This was fine with Storm, though, because they knew that it wouldn’t be long before more food would come running along; and they’d be sure to gulp them up when they did…”