SWNOVELS Chapter My Husband 329
JERK LAURA
I stomped up the stairs, each step harder than the last, my heart pounding in my chest. My skin was still hot, my mind racing with everything that had just happened. By the time I reached Jess's room, I felt like I was going to burst.
Throwing myself face-first onto her bed, I groaned into the pillow, muffling the sound so no one would hear me. I was such an idiot. Such a fucking idiot.
Why had I even said that? What had I been thinking? "I want you to have sex with me"? Seriously?
I slammed my hand down onto the mattress, wishing I could rewind time. Of course, Josh didn't want to spend the night with me. Why would he? He was just letting me down easy, trying not to hurt my feelings because he was nice like that. Nice. That word made me want to scream.
The truth was glaringly obvious, and it had been all along. Josh didn't see me that way. I wasn't a cheerleader or one of the girls he flirted with in the halls. I wasn't confident or cool or sexy. I was... Laura. Shy, quiet, artsy Laura. The girl who blended into the background. I rolled onto my back, staring at the ceiling as frustration bubbled in my chest. God, I hated this. I hated feeling so small, so invisible.
No.
I sat up abruptly, the fire in my veins reigniting. I wasn't going to be this shy, stupid little girl who didn't take what she wanted. If Josh didn't want to help me-if he didn't want me-then fine. Someone else would. Some guy out there would see me, really see me, and they'd want me.
But deep down, I didn't want just some guy.
My fists clenched at my sides as stood, adrenaline coursing through me, giving me a rush of courage I didn't fully
understand. I needed to talk to Josh, to give him a piece of my mind, to make him see me for who I was.
Without overthinking it, I marched across the hall to his room.
The door was slightly ajar, the light spilling into the dim hallway. I hesitated for a split second, my hand hovering over the door, before taking a deep breath and pushing it open. "Josh," I started, my voice firm but low, "we need to-"
The words died in my throat as I stepped inside.
The light wasn't coming from his room but from the adjoining bathroom, the door wide open. Steam billowed out into the room, and through the haze, I saw him.
Josh.
He was in the shower, his back to me, water cascading down his broad, muscular shoulders and over the ridges of his back. I froze, my breath catching in my throat as I took in the sight of him.
He was stunning. All carved-out muscle and power, his body moving with a grace that was almost hypnotic. My eyes traveled downward, tracing the water as it slid over his lower back, his hips, and- Oh my God.
I blinked, realizing I was staring, but I couldn't look away. He leaned forward, bracing one hand against the shower wall, and that's when I noticed his other hand.
It was moving.
At first, I didn't register what he was doing. It didn't click. But then his hand sped up, his movements more urgent, and I heard it.
A low grunt.
My stomach flipped, and heat flooded my face as the realization hit me like a freight train. Josh was... he was...
Oh my God.
I'should have looked away. I should have turned around and left. But I didn't.
I stood there, frozen, as he groaned again, his head tipping forward under the spray of water. His hips rocked slightly, his movements growing faster and more desperate.
I felt my knees go weak, my breath catching in my throat as I watched him, completely mesmerized.
What the hell was I doing?
I swallowed hard, the sound deafening in the quiet room. For a split second, I thought he might hear me, and panic surged through me.
Backing up as silently as I could, I turned and slipped out the door, closing it softly behind me. My hands were trembling, my heart racing as I bolted back to Jess's room. Once inside, I collapsed onto her bed, my face burning as I buried it in my hands.
That was... that was...
I couldn't even finish the thought. My mind was a jumbled mess of images and feelings, all centering on Josh and the way his body had looked under the water, the way his voice had sounded as he... Stop. Just stop.
I groaned into my hands, trying to push the memory away, but it was impossible. The heat of his skin, the raw need in his movements, the sound of his grunts-it was all burned into my brain. What the hell was wrong with me?
I should have left the second I saw him, should have turned around and pretended I hadn't seen anything. But I didn't.
And now...
I couldn't unsee it.
My body was still buzzing, my skin tingling with an energy I didn't know what to do with. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to calm my racing heart, but the memory wouldn't let go. Josh.
He had no idea I'd been there, no idea I'd seen him like that. And thank God for that, because if he ever found out...
I groaned again, rolling onto my side and clutching a pillow to my chest.
What the hell was I going to do?