Let the Darkness In

Unlike other maps I had seen, this had been drawn by an artist. Miniscule details dotted the stained paper, from the tiles on the roof of the houses of the city to the leaves on the trees, to the darkness of the fortress and its runes of ancient magic. I traced the route I had taken with my fingers, down to where I was now. In the city.

To the side of the city was an expanse I had never seen before. The bold line of land ended and a vast expanse began. It was dotted with little triangles. There was a strange creature, with the tail of a fish and the torso of a human.

When Ainesilver returned, her eyes fell on the map.

“So that’s where it went. Parchment makes excellent padding you know.”

“What’s this place?” I asked, pointing to the expanse.

“That is the great blue. The fishermen alone from the market brave those waters. Save for the occasional ship from another land, no one ventures out there.”

“Why? Are humans afraid of it like they are of us? Are they just cowards?”

“There are other powers out there, that you and I cannot control. The ancient gods rule those waters. It takes a whisper of their breath or a twirl of their fingers to sink a ship or drown a man. Still…” Ainesilver shrugged. “Doesn’t mean we can’t collect its fruits. How are you by the way?”

The sudden wistfulness gone, Ainesilver looked at me with bright eyes.

“Much better.”

“Good. Tomorrow we will go down to the shore and collect some shells. They make an excellent exfoliating paste.”

We sat by the fire for the rest of the evening, comparing notes on remedies. Ainesilver had some mad ideas and for the first time, I wondered how she had gained the reputation she had. However, some of her other ideas didn’t seem so mad, such as leeches left to work on a wound.

The next morning, and as I dressed, I had a new energy that I hadn’t had in days. The prospect of leaving these four walls and getting out of the sick, stifling city was an exciting one.

We made our way towards the city gates. This time they were open and the guards very much awake. A bit bleary-eyed, they still were keeping an eye out for trouble. Once again, I felt the sickening fear that I would be recognised. Don’t be so stupid Siofra.

The second time outside of the walls was even better. For Ainesilver, she thought this was my first time. As she watched me take in a deep breath, I saw her smile. There was no secrecy I needed to hide from her this time around. There was no scrabbling around in the mud for cursed plants for a start.

Moving against the stream of people coming into the city, we left the city further and further behind, veering left. For a while, we trudged in companionable silence, watching the fields flood into the horizon. But gradually, the horizon changed from a smudged shadow to a thin misty line. The line grew wider and wider until I thought I had reached the edge of the world.

A wind had sprung up, coarse with salt. Hundreds of white birds I hadn’t seen before wheeled above us, their cries harsh. We battled the wind, moving forward until Ainesilver put a hand on my arm. We gazed ahead and in the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of auburn as her hair danced free. I cast a glance at her and she was miles away. She had never told me her whole story. Perhaps she had come from across the seas. Or perhaps she had planned to escape there with her lover.

I turned back to the sea before, seeing what she saw. It was rugged. It was wild. It was magnificent.

The living, roiling mass before me was a deep grey. White splashes exploded everywhere as waves broke against themselves. I tried to imagine the dormant gods lying in wait under the water.

“This way,” Ainesilver had grounded herself once more and was heading towards what looked like the edge of the cliff. I tensed, ready to race forward and catch her before she fell. I stayed as close as I could behind her but pushing against the wind was proving to be a challenge. One moment she was in front of me and the next she had vanished.

I screamed and raced forward, only to see her auburn hair glinting up at me and a massive grin as she stood on a twisted path. My heart still pounding in my mouth, I kicked a clod of dirt towards her. Managing to avoid it, she continued.

I stepped down onto the perilous pathway worn down by human traffic. The path was steep and rocks went flying with every step I took. No wonder the beach below was empty...people coming down this way had a death wish. Perhaps jumping off those cliffs would be a quicker way down. Taking another glance at the sheer drop, I decided this way was the lesser of the two evils.

After a perilous journey, my feet sank into the thick sand. I felt it worm its way inside my thin, holey shoes and settle in between my toes. With every step, it felt like I was pushing against a dead weight. But the sand was shifting and moving, and I liked the way it felt.

The wind was at its most powerful down here and now I could really hear the roar. The waves hissed and sizzled as they were reclaimed by the sea. Ainesilver was already a small distance away, stooping over every few steps. I began to squint, searching amongst the grain for shells.

I wasn’t sure what I was looking for but I had seen pictures. Spying something sticking out of the sand, I made a grab at it. It shifted slightly as the sand around it fell away. It was a tiny thing, a solid item that seemed to curve in on itself. In the daylight, it glinted with a pearly sheen. Pale pinks and blues faded into a grey. I held it to the light, seeing it in its intricate detail. There was power here too, but it was softer and ethereal - I couldn’t quite grasp it. I put it into the small bag Ainesilver had equipped us both with and resumed my hunt.

As I wound my way across the beach, I began to edge closer to the water’s edge. There were richer pickings here. The sand was darker, firmer, with a glossy sheen. I could see spirals of sand here and there. I worked, relishing the sting of the salt on my face. One step forward and there was a horseshoe stamped on the sand. It must have been amazing, riding a horse at full speed, hooves kicking up the spray.

I looked around, half expecting a horse to emerge, perhaps even from the sea. Straight ahead, there were tiny pinpoints of movement. Squinting against the glare, I tried to make out who they were. They were too far away for me to tell but there were definitely horses ahead.

Hoofprints on the sand here had no correlation to the horses royalty had come clattering into the courtyard on yesterday. Anyone could have come down here. Yet there hadn’t been all that many horses in the village that I had seen. And the people here didn’t have time to go thundering along the shore.

Ainesilver and I stayed on the beach until it was midday. Every so often, my eyes would flick up and see if the riders were coming back. They never did. There must be another way off this beach. One safe enough for horses.

We worked until we had all we could carry and then laboured back up the path. The ascent was twice as hard with a bag of pebbles, seaweed and shells but we made it. The journey back towards the city was also slow, but at least it was flat.

Bursting into the house, we both dumped down our satchels and collapsed onto the stools. My cheeks were stinging and felt raw but my soul was invigorated. We wolfed down some bread and then laid out our finds to dry.

Not wanting to stay with the fishy, salty smell they exuded, we left to do some rounds. Whilst Ainesilver bestowed advice and administered potions, I pretended to watch. In reality, my mind was plotting and twisting. At the back of everything, I had the feeling that a presence was watching and silently approving.

By the time we returned, a plan had begun to form.

The next morning, as Ainesilver prepared to leave, I raised the question. “May I have today to myself? I want to explore, perhaps find some plants.”

Ainesilver’s eyes narrowed, as if she knew I was up to something. But she never said anything and nodded. “See what you can find. I do need some nettles and there’s plenty growing up by the woods.”

I nodded, keeping my face emotionless. Grabbing my cloak, I shot out of the door before she changed her mind. Once outside, I slowed, weaving my way through the clamorous, grimy city. I couldn’t wait to leave this place. I missed my magic like an ache.

I left the city once more, this time hardly noticing the guards standing watch. I hitched up my skirts and made a beeline for the woods.

The power that rushed over me as soon as I reached the woods was like being doused in a freezing lake. The voices of the trees and spirits rushed to come back to me in a confusing tangle. I saw every oak and willow from here, right back to the woods of my childhood. I felt the heartbeat of every living thing in this denseness, even saw their smudges of colour. Everything seemed to channel forward to greet me.

With my heart singing, I began to pluck at the foliage. I was cautious not to fill my basket too full. Keeping my eye on the comings and goings of the city, I slowly returned to my past. Ysymay would be at home, starting to fire up the boiling water. She would wait for me to come home and then we would sift through the plants, coming up with new potions for blisters and burns.

A commotion back towards the corner of the city caught my eye. Straightening up, I saw a clump of horsemen barging their way out. The prince was somewhere in there. I knew. It was impossible to see much, blinded as I was by rich colours.

They set off, kicking clods of the earth beneath their horses hooves. I hurried after them, the basket bashing against my leg. There was no way I could keep up with them but at least I knew where they were headed and it wouldn’t take me long. All I could do was pray they didn’t grow bored of the huge expanse before them. Who would?

Huffing, sweating and with my hair snarled like a bird’s nest, I arrived on top of the cliff. Pulling brusque air back into my lungs, I scanned the beach. No one was around for miles. A desolation came over me. For all my planning, I had missed my chance.

No daughter, look.