Let the Darkness In

I returned to Ainesilver and brewed myself a batch of a plant they called chamomile. It was a pretty thing but when brewed created a drink that seemed to drain any negative humours out of you. I seemed to be relying on it a lot these days. It seemed to keep the nightmares away. But I had come to realise the nightmare was real.

Every so often I would go to the beach but I chose a time when I knew the prince would not be around.

Then we were summoned by the king. Well, it was his usher who came banging at our door when we were both asleep. Refusing to answer and in a haze of confusion, I let Ainesilver come bleary-eyed down the stairs. Fumbling with the latches, she answered it. Half fearing it was the city’s guard come to arrest me for witchcraft, I hid behind the elf.

A servant from the castle stood before us. He was hunched over, flinching every time someone walked by. In his red and gold, he had risked a lot coming down this alley at night. Ainesilver hastened him inside whilst she threw together a few bits and threw a cloak over her shoulders. I fumbled about, taking a bit longer to pull myself together.

“Who is it?” I snapped, the effect of the maltemper of a rudely disturbed sleep combined with a sick hollowness in the bowel of my stomach.

“It’s his majesty, the king,” the boy squeaked.

Turning away, my shoulders dropped. It wasn’t Jarrett. I tugged my cloak from beside my palate and a small vial fell onto my covers. Quickly, I snatched it up, praying no one had seen it. Going to put it back, I hesitated. We would be close to the king and I could find a way to be alone with him. One down. The real villain.

Hidden in its usual place, the vial awaited its first use. Ainesilver and I left the house a mere few minutes after the boy had come. We wove our way down the streets, the squire herding us along quickly. We saw a lot of passed-out drunk men and women, asleep where they had fallen. The sounds of couples copulating also was common after darkness fell.

We made it towards the castle and as we neared, I realised we had not come on a normal night. The guards on the gate had doubled and light spilled out of many window slits. As we passed through the gate, I could hear the stamping and snorting of many horses in the stables. Laughter spilled from inside and every so often, the great oaken doors would creak open and people would stumble out. These weren’t the miserable dregs we had left behind. These were lords and ladies, powerful, beautiful and sickenly wealthy.

Taking a deep breath, I followed Ainesilver in and was nearly knocked over by feet by swirling bodies. The loud rhythm of a drum, a harp and a flute had turned the hall into a frenzied mass of heat and shimmering people. Again, I smelt meat but this time it was fresh from the oven, sizzling away. Without thinking, I licked my lips.

A bony hand grasped mine and we stopped. We were guided around the edge and I had the feeling no one wanted us to be seen. We slipped past the crowd easily, our drab colours attracting little attention.

We hit the familiar stairs, the small door shutting out the gaiety. Heat embraced my face but the stairwell was cool and fresh and my lungs finally regained functionality. Winding upwards, we entered the room I had since discovered was called the solar. A few servants stood around, ill at ease, their faces regarding us with the usual suspicion as we walked in. They moved out the way and we entered the chamber.

He was sitting up in bed, watching us with fever-glazed eyes. His skin was greasy with sweat and he looked even more sallow. Unabashed, I stared at those eyes, looking for the killer beneath. It was easy to find. These eyes were bright with fever but they hid a dark soul.

As Ainesilver fussed over setting herself up, I moved to help her, hearing his laboured breathing. “Hot water, hot water,” she muttered, spinning around. “Urgh those turds!”

Abruptly she left the room.

I stared at the man - in his ill state, he looked harmless, hardly a man who had torn a scar through the country. But then his eyes met mine. Red-rimmed as they were, I could see he knew. I had seconds. My hands moved to my belt and sought the edges of the bottle. Just a few drops. And he would be gone. Madb would be free of him. I began to lift it up and then stopped, feeling reason slam me in the face like a block of stone.

Jarrett would be crowned instantly, meaning his life of leisure would be up. I wasn’t ready for him to be a king. A part of me wanted to show him...that the real poison was the heart of the man before me, not the dark liquid in my pocket.

And the moment was gone as Ainesilver breezed back in. Reaching out, I placed a hand on his forehead. “He’s burning up,” I offered. Unhelpful but better than the real reason I was standing over the king’s bed staring at him. The king winced and Ainesilver shot me a look.

“Mop his forehead with this.” She thrust a bowl of steaming water with a fresh cloth at me. I took it, placing it quickly on a stool by the bed. Grudgingly, I lent a hand in mopping the man’s brow.

A while passed with Ainesilver badgering the king with herbs, salves and pungent-smelling liquids. I did what I could but my thoughts were elsewhere.

When his breathing had calmed, we slipped away. Ainsilver made sure to leave strict instructions to a waiting man. She had chosen well. In his early thirties, he looked less gormless than the younger men around him.

As we wove our silent way back into the night, a dark figure bound over to us. Fearing being mugged, we both screamed and Ainesilver lashed out with her basket. Filled with solid bottles, it connected with flesh and there was an “oomph”.

“You’re feisty,” came a familiar voice. Ainesilver heard it too. She dipped a curtsy which was lost on Jarrett.

“How is he?” he asked, for the first time since I met him sounding vulnerable. I swallowed a lump in my throat. For all the king was a hated man, his son loved him and looked up to him. And that made me even more scared.

Ainesilver told him the fever was breaking and he would recover in a few days, and that we must also rest. Turning to go with her, Jarratt caught my arm.

“Thank you,” he whispered and I squeezed his hand because I could not trust myself at that moment.

That night sleep did not come and I knew exactly why.

I needed to act soon before I was betrayed by something even more powerful than Madb.

The next morning, I was once again, left to my own devices. As much as the stone walls had become my home over the last few months, there was only one place that would remind me of where I belonged and who I truly was. These stones were sucking out my identity.

I left just as the gates were opened, my eyes fixed on the dark mass. It seemed more distant, more gloomy and colder. My footfalls grew heavier and heavier until I ground to halt.

I was in limbo. Imprisoning stone behind me, an ensnaring forest before me. And now, in sixteen years, I doubted who I was and longed to be somewhere different.

Such was the daze that I hardly heard the forest until it was screaming at me. I was halfway between stone and wood and the pull was ripping me apart for the first time. I knew exactly why the forest was calling, already I could feel the dark mist emanating from its center. But then I turned towards the castle. A man was in there, flesh, blood, charming. And I needed to kill him.

My body was turned towards the stone, wanting for the first time to shut the noises out. The screams intensified and beneath was the throbbing, shimmering magic unique to the leaves and vines. I remembered the feys, the nymphs...and my feet did the talking for me.

Wheeling swiftly about, I marched back towards the woods. Plunging into its darkness before I could change my mind, I sought out the shadow. Whispers led me to a waterfall of vines. They were thick and tangled and it seemed I would not be able to push through. I went to turn but a pulse shot out from behind the mess, nearly knocking me over. Gritting my teeth, I set to parting them, feeling their energy and manipulating it. My magic hadn’t been used in a while and I could feel my body trying to remember it. It came slowly back, as easy as breathing.

The curtains parted to reveal the inside of the cave. I smelt the damp earth and the tang of rock. Not knowing if I would ever come back out, I stepped inside.

“It’s been a while Siofra.” The faded scar on my hand began to throb.

She was there, a being of blood and shadow. Her eyes bored into me.

“Now you’ve managed to meet the prince, I see you’ve developed some sort of...empathy.” Black eyes glittered.

I forgot that whilst she may not be able to hold a strong presence within the walls, she had still been able to watch my every move.

“Let me tell you about a woman, a celtic queen who was young and beautiful.”.

“Because she rejected a prince who then became a king, he turned it against her. Unused to rejection, he vowed to crush all magic. The only way to do that was by destroying the old worlds. He started with me. The soldiers came as we were sleeping. We were only alerted by the smell of burning wood and the screams. They came hunting for witches. All the women and girls were hauled out, lined up. And then that man, who I had rejected, strode out of the flames. His gold crown glinted on his head and I knew that day, he wore it just for me.

‘All you ladies live in a village of sin, of darkness, of witchcraft. Witches make our cattle sick. Witches make our children die. And I have every reason to convict you all of practicing the old ways. You will all burn, unless you confess.’

There were young girls there, as young as seven summers. Looking into his cold, grey eyes, I knew he meant every last word. And he was baiting me. But what could I do? My husband, the great chieftain, was held at swordpoint already. My village was crumbling.

Then I stood up, told them all I was a dark healer. I told them all exactly what they wanted to hear.

So I was set on fire. And in those last moments, as my skin sizzled, I turned to look at him. His Highness watched, his face pale but his jaw set. If he couldn’t have me, then no one else could. It was at that moment, I cried his name. The demon of revenge and misrule. I offered my body as a sacrifice and above the scorching of the flames, he came. He snatched my soul and put me back onto this earth to fulfill my curse.

The king doesn’t hide from the people. He hides from us. That’s why he is killing us all.”

The world spun back into the present. The bubbling memories of the price had gone, but I tried to cling to the image of his face. Yet the spike had found the bitterness and wedged its way in. I remembered the twisting faces of the villagers.

“But Jarrett isn’t his father,” I whispered. Who was I trying to convince?

But Jarrett would one day be king.

He will find out who you are.

I was left standing alone in a dripping, dank cave.

Desperate to get back into the fresh air and safety of the forest, I plunged through the dense undergrowth. Resting my back against the tree, I looked towards the skies, not knowing what answer I would find there.

Then I heard it, the sound of a horn blowing, intrusive. The yaps of dogs and the whinny of horses told me something large was heading this way.