Let Me Love You

I’d promised Maria I’d get her home to her daughter by today, and I was still in FBI custody. No charges had been drawn up, but I’d been in holding since Thursday with frequent interviews from the top down to the rookie sitting across from me now.

But we were nearing the seventy-two-hour mark, and I was confident I’d be released any minute.

I trusted my family to keep Maria safe while I was here, but I was losing my mind every hour away from her. I needed to apologize in person for what she witnessed three days ago.

“I didn’t think people like you existed outside of film.”

I looked up from my hands cuffed to the table at the agent, not sure where he was about to go with that statement.

“Yeah, we have a file on you. I did a little light reading this weekend.” He fingered his butter-blond hair, swiping it away from his forehead. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to bait me into a conversation to get me to talk about my past, but that wouldn’t be happening.

“Where’s Special Agent Lee?” I asked, my way of letting him know I had no plans to discuss my past.

The fresh-out-of-Quantico agent—and yeah, I could read him that well—checked his watch. “He’ll be here any minute.”

Agent Lee was a friend of Hudson’s, and he’d been keeping me abreast of all details since I’d been in custody per the ADIC’s orders.

I’d asked him for a report about our security team and had requested to see photos of every person who’d come up against us on Thursday, and he’d secretly followed through with my request.

My team hadn’t suffered any losses. Many wounded, but they’d all be okay. Alice’s people and the Brambillas . . . not nearly as lucky, though.

And I wouldn’t cry over the fact the asshole who’d straddled Maria on Wednesday died on Thursday. He’d been on one of the boats, trying to kill Hudson. And the other two idiotas from the failed attack were in the ICU. One in a coma. And Jensen, Giovanni’s nephew on his wife’s side, would be on a liquid diet for weeks. A broken jaw the least of his worries.

I was pretty sure Agent Lee also felt indebted to my family, considering he’d been after the Brambillas for years. Between the cleaner’s files and Nico’s and Giovanni’s statements, he could finally close his case.

Of course, Constantine offered the FBI evidence from the cleaner’s files only related to the Brambillas for now. We didn’t want to screw up whatever work Carter and Jesse were doing and have the FBI blow their covert op.

The door cracked open a moment later, and Agent Lee was there with another guard. I hadn’t seen him since last night, and I’d never thought I’d be so happy to see a Fed.

“Uncuff him. He’s free to go,” Agent Lee requested. “No charges are being filed.”

The rookie stood and looked at Lee as if he might protest but then smartly shut the fuck up and left.

“I’m sorry this took so long,” Agent Lee apologized once I was uncuffed and the guard had left us alone. He angled his head toward the camera in the room. “It’s off, so we can speak freely.”

I slowly stood, planting my hands on the table. “Tell me you got Brambilla. Tell me he’s off the streets.” I needed the head of the crime family behind bars or dead. Dead would be preferable.

Lee’s eyes met mine, and he nodded. “We located him at three in the morning, and he resisted. It turned into a gunfight. One of our snipers took him out, along with his right-hand man. He’s not alive to order any retaliation hits against anyone.”

Fuck, that was good news. Not that I believed my family would be targeted anyway. Any of the crime families would be too intimidated to come after us, given how we’d handled the Brambillas on Thursday. Plus, between my father and Giovanni, they had too much dirt on them. They wouldn’t want to be next on the chopping block. Besides, no one ever really liked the Brambillas anyway.

“And Nico and Giovanni? Are they still in custody?” I asked.

“We’re offering them immunity and new identities. I’m sure you want to have words with them, particularly Nico, but they’ve already been transferred to a safe location. I’m not privy to the details. But with what you gave us, their help, and whatever we find at Alice’s home and office, I’m sure it’ll be more than enough to ensure there’ll be no new head growing back on the snake.”

I had wanted to talk to Nico. To understand what the hell happened with him and my sister. But he’d been willing to die for justice for Bianca, and maybe it was thirteen years too late for him to stand up to Alice. I didn’t believe he was complicit in her death, though. He had loved Bianca, but he’d feared his wife and father-in-law more.

Agent Lee reached out and offered a business card. “When my men are done combing through all of Alice’s things, we’ll let you know if we learn anything of value to you. Program my number so you accept my call.”

I pocketed his number and nodded.

“And if you and your brothers decide to let us see what other names were on the cleaner’s file, wait two weeks, would you? I owe my wife and kids a vacation after years of chasing the Brambillas.”

“Copy that.” I nodded and looked toward the door, anxious to see Maria and my family.

“Come on. I’ll walk you out.”

I quietly followed him. “Thank you again,” I said after signing a few official documents for my release.

“Like I said, I owe you and your family. Could’ve used a bit more lead time than thirty minutes before hell broke out in Oyster Bay, but looks like you didn’t need us,” he replied when we made our way to the elevators. “Can I ask you something, though? Now that we don’t have eyes?”

I knew what was coming, and as we waited for the elevator, I nodded and mentally prepared my answer.

“Killing your own cousin, even if she’s a third cousin, couldn’t have been easy. Was it so your sister could rest in peace? You think that—”

“No.” I shook my head. “I finally realized Bianca’s always been at peace. It was us who needed it.” I frowned. “But that’s not the only reason I killed her, and I think you know that.”

Agent Lee palmed his smooth jawline, eyes falling to the floor in thought. “Because no one will dare fuck with you or those you love if you’re willing to kill someone you’re related to?”

I let go of a gruff breath. “Precisely.” Maria will be safe. My mom and sister. “Untouchable again.”

“By the bad guys, sure.” He looked up. “But be careful out there if your family plans to exit retirement. Not everyone in the Bureau is a fan.”

“Yeah, I can tell.”

“But if you do start up again,” he added as the elevator doors opened, “there’re a few people I can recommend you look into who are off-limits to us and shouldn’t be walking the streets.” He opened his palm, motioning for me to head inside.

The fact he was letting me know we had an ally if we wanted one at the FBI was comforting, but I had no plans to be that guy again. No more going dark. If Maria was still willing to be in my life after this mess, I considered myself set for life.

“I’ll pass that along,” was all I said while stepping into the elevator, remaining quiet the rest of our way out, and then my heart shot into my throat at the sight outside the Bureau.

On the street, Maria was between Hudson and Constantine waiting for me, and I almost took a knee at the sight of her running my way.

“Ah, so you have a reason to stay retired,” I overheard Agent Lee say on my way to Maria, and I lifted her in my arms.

Yeah, she was my reason. My fucking everything. Her and Chiara.

I guided her legs around my waist and held her tight, hugging her as she murmured my name repeatedly like soft pleas.

“I’m so sorry,” I rushed out, never losing my grip on her. “Are you okay?”

“I was so worried about you,” she cried.

“I’m okay, baby,” I promised as her feet found the ground, and she kissed me, eliminating any doubts she planned to walk away after what happened. No, she was there. She was my girl. My fireball.

“Tell me you’re coming back to Charlotte. Promise me you’re getting on that plane today with me. No third-act breakup, right?” she asked, her voice trembling.

I wasn’t sure what a third-act breakup was, but I bent forward and lightly sucked her wobbly bottom lip. “Breakup, are you kidding?” I pulled back to find her eyes, shaking my head. “I’m lost without you.” I gulped at the emotion pushing up into my throat. “So no, no third-act breakup. You’re my girl. Forever.”

She reached between us, and it barely registered that there were people on the street, walking around us. “I love you, Lorenzo Costa,” she said between soft kisses. “You didn’t give me a chance to tell you that on Thursday. And maybe outside the FBI isn’t the greatest place to say it, but I don’t want to wait.”

I replayed her words, waiting for the moment my brain would tell me I didn’t deserve them or her love.

But nothing came.

The death grip of the past and that darkness didn’t draw me back.

With narrowed eyes, she added, “But you knew I loved you, didn’t you? You’ve always known.”

“I’ve always known,” I hoarsely admitted. “And I’ve always loved you, Maria Romano.” I brought my hands to her face, thumbing away tears as I stared deep into her eyes. My own gaze a bit blurry.

“Then let’s go home,” she whispered while reaching into her pocket, producing my sister’s rosary, and she placed it in my palm. “This belongs with you.”

“Belongs with us,” I gruffly said, hugging her again.

After a quiet moment passed, I stepped back and looked around, spotting Agent Lee talking to Hudson and Constantine by Hudson’s truck.

“Ready?” Constantine called out when finding my eyes. “The family is waiting for you at your place.”

The FBI office was in Lower Manhattan, situated between Tribeca and Chinatown, so we were closer to my home than my parents’ second home by Central Park.

I had every intention of leaving with Maria today and letting my brothers and Hudson handle any potential damage control, because I trusted them to do it. But I needed to see my family before I left, especially Izzy.

I couldn’t leave New York without ensuring she knew I loved her, too.

Maybe it was guilt at the fact Maria had witnessed me killing people on Thursday, but on the drive to Chelsea, a bad feeling planted roots in my gut.

The hugs from my family once at my place didn’t ease the hard knot in my stomach that was beginning to squeeze without remorse. Nor the promises from Maria she’d be okay.

“What’s wrong?” Alessandro asked, reading my thoughts.

I chanced a look at Maria at my side, and she tipped her chin to peer up at me. Her worried brown eyes shredded me, and I decided I couldn’t share what was on my mind in front of her. She didn’t need more stress.

“I’m fine,” I lied. “But can we have a word in my office?” I focused on Constantine and Hudson. I squeezed Maria’s hand, letting her know everything would be “fine.” Hopefully. She returned my look with a soft nod, and I let go of her to join my brothers and Hudson in my office.

“What’s going on?” Constantine cut straight to the point, perching a hip on my desk, and I went over to the fireplace and set a hand on the mantel. “Agent Lee say something to you we should be worried about that you didn’t want to say in front of Maria on the way here?”

“No, it’s not that.” My free hand went to my chest as the pain in my stomach worked its way to my chest. “I feel like I’m missing something.”

“Alice had us by the balls and we didn’t know it until it was nearly too late,” Constantine answered, and I looked over as Alessandro and Hudson took a seat on the leather couch.

“What you’re experiencing is anxiety,” Alessandro spoke up, and I wasn’t sure if he was giving me a hard time or being serious. “Maybe guilt. It’s all normal. You’ve been on edge all week, and we were blindsided on more than one occasion.”

“You think that’s all?” I wanted him to be right. God, did I ever. “No more loose ends?”

Hudson caught my eye next and gave me a serious look. “If you have concerns, then I’ll take another look at everything and talk to Agent Lee. He still has people going through Alice’s things and is trying to get more of her people to provide statements.”

“Thank you.” I nodded, and he was back on his feet and leaving the room, not wasting time.

When the door clicked shut, I let go of the mantel and looked at my brothers, both now on their feet, studying me.

Alessandro tipped his head. “You’re having second thoughts about whether or not you’re too dangerous for Maria, aren’t you?”

No, I don’t think that’s it.

Constantine stepped forward, searching for my gaze. “Don’t give up a love like you two have from a place of fear.” He cut the space between us and gripped my shoulder. “She knows now the risks of being with a Costa. And yeah, our family should be untouchable after everything that went down, but no, there’s no guarantees in life.” He always gave it to me straight. No sugarcoating, and I appreciated that. “You can’t protect her from everything, you know that, right?”

“But I want to,” I rasped, my stomach still twisting like heated scraps of metal.

“Well then,” Alessandro said, drawing closer, “you being in her life increases her chances of safety a hell of a lot more than if you’re not. Because you’ll be there to look out for her.”

“He’s right,” Constantine said. “And you know how much it pains me to admit that.”

A small, surprising smile slipped onto Alessandro’s lips, but before he could come up with a clever response, Izzy opened the door and poked her head in, and Constantine let go of me and faced her.

“Hey, you.” I motioned for her to come in.

“Can we talk?” she asked, eyes on me.

Constantine and Alessandro shot me a quick look, a plea to not be a dumbass about Maria, and I nodded my promise, and then they left.

Once we were alone, it was only then I noticed she had a folder in her hand, and in a small voice she said, “I thought you might want to read this. It’s Bianca’s original draft. Night and day different from what was published.”

I gulped, my gaze clinging to the folder, uncertain what to say or think. The uneasy feeling in my stomach doubled at the sight of it.

“Can I confess something?” she whispered, and I peered up at her, not sure where this conversation was going to go. “Growing up, I was always jealous of the relationship you two had. You had the twin thing, and I felt left out. And then after she died, it was like you couldn’t even look at me. And it hurt . . . a lot, if I’m being honest.”

Her words deflated the air from my lungs. “Izzy.”

She held up her palm, a request to let her continue, and I hesitantly nodded. “I look like her,” she softly said. “And although we have different personalities, I understand how hard it is . . . because sometimes it hurts when I look in the mirror.” Tears filled her eyes. “It fucking hurts.”

I broke forward, dying to get to her. To ease her pain. But she kept her arm extended, a request to let her finish, so I did my best to stay back and respect that.

“But I also want to feel closer to her. And if I change myself and who I am, I’m scared I’ll start to forget her. Lose her for good.” She sniffled. “But she’s gone, and you’re not, and I—”

“Fuck.” I couldn’t stop myself; I hauled my sister against me, and she dropped the folder. I cradled her head to my chest and held her tight. “I’m so sorry. So damn sorry.” I waited for her broken sob to slow before adding, “You do look like her. But I also see you for you. And I’m so proud of the woman you’ve become, and she would be, too.”

She peeled back and gripped my forearms as if searching for help to stand.

“I wasn’t there for you like I should have been. None of us was. We were focused on revenge. And we lost sight of . . .” I released a shaky exhale, my lungs hurting that time. “Let me be here for you now. Please,” I begged. “Let me prove to you that I do love you. And I’m here for you.”

Izzy collapsed back into my arms again, and I cupped her head, and tears hit my face for the first time since the day I’d dropped to my knees at Bianca’s church right before my arrest.

I lost one sister, and I nearly lost another, and somehow Bianca brought us back together. Saving me like always. Even from the beyond, she had my six.

“I love you, sis,” I whispered once she’d untangled herself from my hug.

Her gaze slipped to the folder, to the papers that had fallen from it. “Bianca believed in forgiveness. Mercy. She believed in love. So I’m going to be like that, too.” She knelt and picked up the folder, shuffling the papers back inside. “She didn’t get her happy ending, but I know she’d want all of us to have ours. And we owe it to her to do it. To live in the now instead of the past. And I’m going to try hard to do that.”

I tilted my head. “Does that mean no more dating men who don’t deserve you?”

Her gaze shot to the door, and I was unsure why. “I promise, but if I lose my way—”

“I’ll be there for you to guide you back.”