Chapter 19
Asher’s p.o.v
She loves me. I smile, leaning on the door.
“Asher, please listen to me. I love you. I choose you” she whispers again, and I smile.
Just the fact that she chooses me over him, tells me that she loves me. But I can’t let her love me. I have to break her heart, and I hate it. I hate it so much.
She’s not safe with me. She’ll never be until they’re looking at me.
“Leave me alone, sweetheart. You don’t love me. I’ll never love you” but it’s wrong.
I know every day I’m falling for her. And I know I can protect her, I know that. I’ll protect her more than my own life, but, we won’t be happy then.
We’ll always be looking behind our backs, to see if they have come.
“Asher” she tries again. And it breaks my heart to do this to her.
I just want to open the door, and pull her close to me. Let her know that I’m here for her. To tell me that she loves me, and that she won’t leave me.
But I can’t.
“For fuck sake, sweetheart, leave me alone” I growl. But it’s desperate.
I hear it. I hear her walk away.
She’ll leave me forever now.
But isn’t this good? She’ll be safe, and I’ll be able to see her. Every day.
Even if I’m not the reason she’s laughing or she’s smiling. At least she’ll be happy.
There’s a knock on my door. Emily.
I open it and let her. I know she knows everything about me. She has powers. Incredible powers.
“Asher, we can’t talk here. There’s a camera in the flowers, next to your bed. Don’t look at it” she grabs a hold of my chin, just as I’m about to turn my face.
“Look at me. Laugh. Smile. Look happy. What I want you to do Asher, is frown at Layla. If you want to protect her, ignore her. I know I’m asking too much, but I need her to be safe for a couple of weeks. I need her to not worry. And I need her to stay here, in this house with Holden. They have cameras in this house. And then they can see that you hate Layla. And they’ll leave her. They’ll come for me.” She smiles, letting my chin go.
“Emily, I can’t do that. Not to you” I say and she shakes her head.
“Just do it, Asher. Please. For everyone you’ve lost. For everyone you loved. Do this. I’ll kill them all” She’s braver than she looks.
“Okay. But I’m going to kill this motherfucker. I’ll kill him th-” she laughs, as I growl.
“Who said it’s a guy? Smile” She says and I do
“Who is it? A fucking girl?” I ask gritting my teeth together, with a forced smile plastered on my face.
“Yes. Someone you know. I heard it when they bought me to their cells. My eyes were closed so I didn’t see where we were. But I know they must have moved by now. They said that ’she’ll be happy, at the fact that Asher will always be hers. And nobody can stop her. Not even me” she points to herself.
“A fucking clingy whore?” I growl, a smile still on my face.
“Careful. You might know her” I chuckle.
“I swear Emily, this person I do not know. Because if this person knew me, they wouldn’t do this. Not to sweetheart. Not to anyone I know.” I point to myself.
“I know why you broke it all with Layla. But don’t think you’re a curse Asher. Alec, was a curse, you know? He wouldn’t let me mark him, he didn’t believe in mates. He was dying. And I blamed it all on myself. If I was better, he would have marked me.” She sits on my bed, lost in thought.
“But I seen what happened to him. He was dying, Asher. And it was all my fault. I couldn’t do anything to save him. I was broken from the inside Asher. Just like how you are. But Alec? He fixed me. He superglued my whole heart back together. I was finally loved. And you know what Layla wants? Love” I nod, sitting down on the floor, leaning on the bed.
“I know, Emily. I know. But I can’t give her that. I can’t give her something she cherishes the most. I can’t love anyone” she shakes her head, running her hand through my hair, slowly.
“You can. I know what happened to your wolf. He’s locked himself, inside, refusing to talk to anyone right? And you think that this is all your fault. And now you think that you’re not capable of loving anyone. Because your wolf doesn’t talk to you. He does have feelings, Asher. At least try and take to him. Ever since she died, you know how he’s been. Practically dead. Have a talk with him. Tell him, he’s had enough sleep. I’ll go to Layla, and tell her to stop seeing you. It’s for the best. At least for a couple of days.” She says and then stands up.
She walks out of the room, closing the door behind her.
Kai? I say hoping he’ll talk.
I’m still here. Not dead. What do you want? He says and I smile
Get out of fucking depression. Get yourself together. Now I say and he nods
I’m out. Forever. I’m back baby he smirks.
Now, I heard the plan, but don’t you dare let that asshole mark her. Or I’ll take control,and never give back to you he growls in my head
Alright,son of a bitch
Fuck you, bastard he blocks me out and I chuckle.
I was afraid to talk to Kai. Because I thought, that if doesn’t reply to me, I’ll lose it.
Ever since she died, he’s left. Became quiet. And now he’s back.
For good.
I stand up, and look at the flowers. I see it.
I walk towards it, and pick up the vase, and throw a towel over it. I’ll pretend to decorate my room. I’ll pretend to decorate the whole house. And only with the people I trust.
No one I don’t.
I walk out of the room, and hear her. Sweetheart crying.
I walk to the steps, and see her hugging Holden, crying.
She’s not sobbing, she’s crying. And it breaks my heart, because I know it’s my fault.
“Alpha” Holden sees me. I tear my gaze away from sweetheart and look at him.
“What?” I growl slightly. I don’t like him anymore.
I can’t even say that he’s taking sweetheart away from me, because I gave her away.
“Alpha, Vincent’s here, and he wants to talk to you. Something about Layla” I nod, looking at her.
“Swe-”
“Don’t. Don’t you dare say sweetheart. You can’t call me that Asher.” I will
“Swee-” she growls at me. And fuck it’s hot.
“Don’t. You. Dare” she narrows her eyes.
I walk down the steps, and look at her. She steps forward, her chest touching mine, as she narrows her eyes.
All I want to do is grab her face and kiss her. Kiss so hard that she doesn’t let me go. Ever.
“Alpha” Asshole
“What?” I say not looking at him. I smirk at sweetheart, as her eyes are still narrowed.
“Vincent wants to see you”
“Tell him later.” I say using my Alpha voice.
I am not moving from this position. It’s perfect. Sweetheart, pressed up against me, and she’s angry. Which is hot.
I shouldn’t be thinking like that. Not when she doesn’t want to see me.
My eyes softening when I see tears running down her face. Holden’s left to see Vincent.
“Sweet-”
“Don’t” she whispers lowering her eyes.
“Don’t look down. Look at me” I lift her chin up slowly.
“Don’t cry, sweetheart” I whisper wiping her eyes, and she closes them.
I know she feels them. I know she does. And this time, I don’t have an excuse anymore. I just let her feel them. Feel how strong they get with ever touch.
“Asher” she whispers
“I don’t know where the cameras are, sweetheart. But until then I can’t be with you. I can’t be with you until all this ends”
I had to tell her. I couldn’t see her cry. I couldn’t see her sad eyes, know that it’s all my fault.
“Ash-” I shake my head, placing my palm on her cheek, gently. She closes her eyes.
“I don’t know how long it will take. But I will be quick. I’ll make sure it’s quick. And then I’ll come back to you. I’ll always come back to you, sweetheart. Please don’t let Holden mark you. I want to wait until I kill them all, so we can be happy. Please” I whisper and she opens her eyes, surprised.
“How do you know Holden wants to mark me?” I smile
“I know everything that concerns you, sweetheart.” She blushes slightly. And I like that. It’s because of me.
“Will you wait for me, sweetheart?” I whisper and she stares at me. For a while, like she wants to know if I’m lying or telling the truth.
And I don’t make my face emotionless. I let her see. I let her see everything.
“I’ll wait. But don’t make me old” I chuckle
“Thank you sweetheart” I whisper, placing a kiss on her forehead.
I want to tell her that I love her. That I love her so much. But if I say it,then she’ll be expecting me to return back to her. Maybe I won’t
But she’ll be safe. I’ll kill anyone who hurts her.
“Alpha” I step back, smiling at her, as I hear Holden’s voice.
“Goodbye sweetheart” I say turning to Holden who’s looking at her with hate, and sadness.
This guy better not fucking hurt her. Or I will kill him.
“Holden” I growl a little and he looks at me, his face emotionless.
“Alpha, Emily wants to see you. She said, that if you don’t come, she’ll freeze you and drag your frozen butt to her” he shakes his head, smiling.
I roll my eyes and nod, walking to the office. That’s where Emily and Tyler are sat.
I close my door, and look at them.
“We need to go to a bathroom. All of us. I hardly think someone would place a camera in a bathroom, right?” Emily smiles.
“No. We’ll go to my room. I’ve got a place where we can go” I walk out, with them behind me. We walk upstairs to my room. I look at the vase, and it’s still covered.
I walk to my bookshelf, and pull out a book,making the shelf open.
“Cool” Emily says walking inside, with Tyler.
I walk behind them, and pull the bookshelf behind me, closing it.
In this room, there’s a small couch, with a table and an office. It’s a first place I put all my important things in.
If we are ever under attack, and we can’t protect ourselves, the place the other pack will look at is the office. Downstairs.
That doesn’t have my important things in. It’s just bits and bobs, to make it look like it’s important.
And no one knows about this place. Except Emily and Tyler now. But I trust them, that they won’t be stupid enough to tell others.
“Asher what’s the plan?” Emily asks, sitting on the couch, and Tyler’s stood up, looking outside.
From inside this room, you can see everything outside, but the people outside think that it’s just a wall. I had this room specially built for myself.
“Plan? It’s easy. I stay away from sweetheart, I frown at her. I get angry at her. But I smile at Emily. I laugh at you and everything they come to take you, and I see who it is. Our pack will be ready for them. And we attack them.” Tyler nods.
“But, the person who’s in charge of them all won’t come. She’ll only come, if something big happens. And that something big is Emily. You laugh at her as much as you want. They try to get her, but they can’t. Everytime they come, she escapes. The person in charge will be fustrated. She’ll come herself, to get Emily. Because she doesn’t want to see you happy” Tyler says and I nod, slowly, digesting everything he says.
He’s right. I notice that they only send rouges. Easy people to kill. We’ll never know who takes them away from me.
“Yeah. Emily, do you want to do this? You can back out” I say and she rolls her eyes.
“I may be older than all of you. Now that I’ve become a great grandma. Fuck, I’m old” she whispers and I chuckle
“If it helps, you still look like your 30?” She nods
“I know. Anyway I am helping.” I nod
“Well we better start then” I say and they both nod.
I’ll do anything for sweetheart. Even if I have to risk my life.