Leave Me Alpha [#6]

Asher’s pov.

I didn’t hear that right.

“What were you saying, sweetheart?” I ask picking up the animals from the floor, and turning to her.

She’s scared. Of what? I wouldn’t hurt her. She has tears running down her face.

“Why are you crying, sweetheart? Didn’t you enjoy today?” I mumble trying to ignore the pain in my heart.

I know she liked it. She was smiling all day. She was laughing.

“I’m cheating on you Asher” she whispers. I pretend to ignore it.

She wouldn’t really cheat on me right? Everyone in this pack knows what would happen if they touch her.

I know she’s lying. What if she wants to break this marriage? What if she’s not lying. No! She is! She’s lying to me.

“I’m tired sweetheart. We’ll talk in the morning. Okay?” I say turning around and walking upstairs to my room.

I walk inside my room and stare around. It’s never going to change, and I don’t want it too. I like all the colours. They’re perfect for me. The light shade of brown with the dark furniture. It was perfect.

I walk inside and sit down on the bed.

She doesn’t really mean it right? Hailey did tell me that sweetheart likes to joke a lot. Maybe she’s joking with me.

She promised that she wouldn’t leave me, and that she’ll stay. Sweetheart wouldn’t do that to me.

“Asher” I hear her soft voice behind the door.

“Come in sweetheart. It’s your room too” I smile as she walks in.

I’ve never smiled. But ever since sweetheart came into my life, I can’t stop smiling.

She’s the most perfect person I have ever seen. And she’s good for someone like me. A broken soul. That’s what people outside my pack call me.

“Asher.” She kneels down in front of me.

“Sweetheart, sit up here. Not on the floor. You don’t deserve that” I smile slightly, picking her up and making her sit on the bed next to me. She smiles at me but then frowns. I frown.

“What’s wrong sweetheart?” I ask, turning to her.

“You’re ignoring what I said” she whispers

’What did you say?” I don’t want her to repeat it. I want her to forget it.

But who could she be cheating on me, with? Everyone’s scared of me. They would never do something like that. Not to their Alpha.

“I’m cheating on you” she whispers, watching me for a reaction. I keep my face emotionless.

Three times. That can’t be a joke, right?

“Why?” I whisper closing my eyes, feeling my heart break into a million pieces.

Why would she? I give everything she wants. I’m trying my best to be nice to her, even though I’m not capable of these things. But I’m trying. For her.

“Because he’s my mate” mate?

So she has two mates? Like me?

Maybe I’m not making her happy. Maybe I’m not being nice to her.

Maybe I’m a curse. Everyone I love, runs away from. They die. Maybe I shouldn’t be with her. Then she won’t die and then she’ll be happy. And I’ll be happy, because she’s happy.

But I can’t stand her with someone else. I’ll die from inside, but I’m dead from inside. I don’t do love. I don’t do emotions.

That’s what she needs. Love. I can see in her eyes, while I stare at her.

Longing. That what’s swirling around in her eyes. I understand why.

Her whole family is happy with their mates. End of it, they’re all okay.

But will I be okay for her? I don’t think so.

I can’t keep her sad.

But if she goes, I’ll be sad.

But I don’t do these emotions.

I’ll set her free. To be happy.

“Asher, you’re killing me. Please say something” she whispers, placing her palm on my cheek.

I feel it. The sparks. And I know she does. But I won’t let her. I won’t tell her that she’s my mate. She needs someone good. I’m not good.

“Go sweetheart. Leave me alone” I mumble standing up.

Maybe this is what she needs. To leave me, and be happy.

But she promised.

Maybe she’s happy with the other guy?

Why are there so many maybes? I know I’m right. She needs love. Which I can’t give her.

I can give everything. Everything she wants. If she wants the moon, I’ll go get it for her. But I can’t give her love. A simple but the most complicated thing in the world. Love. Which I can’t do.

“Asher. Listen to me please.” She pleads walking in front of me.

Her eyes are sad. I don’t want to be the reason behind that. I want her to be happy.

I’m sorry sweetheart.

“OUT!” I roar at her and she steps away from me scared, vulnerable.

I don’t like that. I make a move to step forward but then remember, that she needs love.

Which she’ll get it with the other guy. Or I’ll kill him.

“Ash-” she whispers, shocked, that I would shout at her. I know she thinks it’s all her fault. But it’s not.

It’s mine. I’m not capable of loving.

“Who?” I ask and she freezes.

Someone I know.

“Holden.” I chuckle to myself, even though I don’t find it funny.

It makes sense now. The falling on him was hugging. The first day she was with him, they must have been on a date.

Didn’t she wait for me? Didn’t she think I would come back? Didn’t she think that maybe I would come back and take her on a date?

Maybe she doesn’t like me. Maybe she likes Holden. I see the looks he gives her, but she doesn’t look at him.

And his eyes are full of love.

Holden is a good guy. We haven’t grown up together, but I’ve known him since I was 16. And I’m 24 now. Maybe he’s good for here.

“As-” I shake my head at her.

“I’ll send in the divorce papers to you tomorrow. Go to Holden, sweetheart. He’s a nice guy. He’ll look after you well. Much better than me” she shakes her head.

“The divorce papers will come to you tomorrow. Until then you can stay in this house. After that, you can move into Holden’s house if he wants, or either I’ll get you another house. Oh and I won’t take money off your parents. You’re worth more that $2.5M.” She closes her eyes, tears rolling down her face.

I want to walk up to her, hold her tightly, and tell her everything is fine, and wipe her eyes gently. But I can’t.

“You can still stay here, sweetheart. I’ll be in a different room” I walk out and downstairs. I lay on the sofa, taking my shoes off.

Maybe I am a curse. Maybe I don’t deserve to be happy. Maybe I don’t deserve anyone.

I stand up and turn all the lights off. They’re giving me a fucking headache.

I lay down on the sofa, and cover my eyes with my arm.

Maybe she’s happy. Maybe she wants to be with Holden. They might be the perfect couple. Who knows.

But I do know that sweetheart won’t be mine now. Never.

I’ve set her free, to be happy. To be loved.

Something I couldn’t do for her.