Learning Curve

Finn

It’s our first day back in English Lit after winter break, and Scottie isn’t here. I knew things would be different this semester—not hating my professor anymore, him knowing he’s my brother, and not having the huge burden of knowing my siblings are still trapped inside a house with an alcoholic abuser—but I didn’t expect this change in the roster. Maybe in another class, sure, as our schedules are almost entirely different with the start of the new year, but because of the graduation requirements, Ty’s class is year-round.

When I first got to the lecture hall this morning, I hoped she was just running a little late, but as time ticked by and Ty dove into class, I knew she wasn’t coming.

I text Julia quick.

Me: Scottie’s not in English. She didn’t drop it, did she?

Julia: I don’t think so. Last I talked to her, she was planning to be there.

Curious but temporarily satisfied with Julia’s answer, I tuck my phone back into my pocket and try to pay attention.

I haven’t talked to Scottie since Christmas Day, and I’m worried. I’ve tried, trust me, I’ve tried, but all my texts and calls have gone unanswered, and every time I leave snacks or food at her door after knocking, she doesn’t answer. She’s still having a hard time, and I feel helpless.

Even knowing what it’s like to shove people away for the sake of your own sanity—been there, done that—I wish she didn’t have to.

“I highly recommend that you start reading Anna Karenina now because this isn’t the only book we’ll be deep-diving into this semester,” Ty announces, and a few quiet groans ring out in the lecture hall. He grins, eating it up. Now that I’ve gotten to know him, I appreciate his inclination to shit-stir. According to his mom, Wendy, it’s been a part of his personality since he was a little kid. “You should save all of that excitement for the big semester project on The Alchemist.”

“Son of a bitch. Two books?” Ace complains, a scowl making him look like an ugly pug dog. I laugh under my breath as Ty picks his voice out in the crowd.

“Oh, Ace, please. Don’t be upset. It’s not two books.”

“It’s not?” the fool asks hopefully.

Ty smirks. “It’s four.” There’s a groan heard ’round the world from just about the entire auditorium, and Ty laughs, assuring, “Have no fear, class. I’ll make it fun. I always do.”

He and his TA pass out papers as he explains in greater detail. “Make sure you get the packet from Doug. It outlines everything you’ll need to prepare for this semester, and if you don’t have it, you’ll probably fail. Or, you know, you’ll probably have to ask me for it, and I’ll have to assign you a fifth book to read.” He winks, and people all around me scramble to get their hands on this semester’s syllabus packet. “Class dismissed.”

Ace is like a rocket, jumping out of his seat, snagging a packet from Doug on the run, and speeding out the door. From what he told me this morning before class, he’s supposed to meet Scarlett for brunch before his next class. I wouldn’t say the two of them are serious, but evidently, they’ve been talking—and making out on occasion—since the night we saw her at Delta Omega.

It’s stupid if you ask me since he’s obviously in love with Julia, but we’re men. Sometimes that means we’re fucking idiots.

I stay in my seat until everyone else disperses, approaching Doug personally. “I need an extra for a student who missed class today,” I tell him, and he doesn’t hesitate to hand over two packets. I shove them into my backpack and start to head for the stairs, but Ty waves me down, gesturing for me to come to his desk with a little lift of his head.

Doug packs up his briefcase and leaves the room, and Ty finally starts talking. “I just got word that he’s been arrested without bail.”

He doesn’t even have to say his name for me to know he’s talking about our father. Two days ago, Ty texted me with a vague update that he wasn’t going to be a problem anymore, and if he meant anyone else, I’m sure his delivery would have been a little more dramatic.

When it comes to our dad, this is the best news possible.

“Without bail?” I question, my eyes searching his for answers. “He must have really fucked up somewhere along the line.” I know all of my brothers have been calling in all their favors to do some digging into Jeff’s past, even roping Thatch and Kline into part of it, but most of the shit was too minor or too old to meet the statute of limitations. If he’s been arrested without bail, they must have found something really fucking awful.

“Bad shit, Finn.” Ty’s eyes turn serious. “Armed robbery… And he shot and killed a cop in the process.”

The rug is pulled out from under my feet, and I have to reach out to steady myself with my hand on his desk. “When did he do that?”

“In Reno, about twenty-two years ago,” he says gently. I may not be great at math, but even I can work out the timeline on that one. He fucking killed someone right before getting together with my mom. I knew my dad was a piece of shit, but it seems he left a few pertinent details out of his journal. Murder. I can’t fucking believe I share DNA with someone capable of it.

“Listen, I know this is a delicate issue, and I’m sure it’s going to be particularly devasting for your mom.” I nod, and Ty grasps my shoulder. “Do you want me to tell your mom and siblings, or do you want to do it?”

“I’ll do it,” I answer honestly and without hesitation. Even though Ty is our brother and the trust we have as a family unit is growing, I’d rather they hear this kind of news from me. I scoff. “No wonder he changed his name.”

“Yeah.” Ty lets out a deep sigh. “It’s a real kick to the balls, isn’t it? Knowing you share DNA with such a horrible human being.”

Having him voice my thoughts aloud is a comfort. I never imagined I’d feel this way, but knowing Ty makes me feel less alone.

“Yeah. I just… I hope…” I pause, and Ty reaches out to clap a hand on my shoulder.

“Listen carefully, Finn,” he says, holding my gaze carefully. “Just because he’s our father doesn’t mean we’re like him. Just because he’s our own flesh and blood doesn’t mean we need to claim him. His choices and the way he’s chosen to live his life don’t mean shit when it comes to us and our lives, okay?” I nod, trying to take his words to heart. “I’m a good person. You’re a good person,” he says and releases my shoulder. “Hell, the only time I’ve ever seen you fight is to protect another student. Even when it threatened to give you severe consequences. That’s not something our father would do. In fact, it’s the complete opposite. Okay?”

“Yeah,” I agree, and I even think I mean it. He nods and starts to pack up, but I pull him up short with a question on a different topic. “Is there any way you can get me a class schedule for another student?”

His brow furrows. “Who?”

“Scottie. She’s still having a hard time, and I don’t want her to fall behind for missing classes. Your stuff is easy to get, but I don’t even know what she’s supposed to be in other than this since it’s a new semester.”

He doesn’t hesitate to open his laptop and log in to the university database to get the info for me, and I jot it down in my notebook. Now, I can get a plan together to make sure she has notes for everything when she’s ready.

I want to do more for her, to be able to love her out loud and in person, but until she’s ready, this will have to do.