Learning Curve

Scottie

My sobs are quiet but body-rending as Finn shoves his legs into his jeans and scrambles to grab his shirt from my bed.

I’ve pushed him too far, and now, everything is ruined.

“Finn, wait, please. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

I grab his elbow to stop him, but he spins around quickly, making me pull back into myself. His eyes are hard and cold. All his trust in me is gone.

“I’m so sorry, Finn. You were just so upset that day, and I wanted to know… I was trying to know why.”

“You want to know where I got it, princess?” he snaps, a sardonic, malicious smile making him look all wrong. “My fucking dad wrote it. How’s that for some fucked-up shit, Scottie? He’s not just a deadbeat alcoholic who likes to beat on his wife and kids, but he’s a deadbeat alcoholic who fathered a whole other family and left them behind. Professor Winslow is my fucking brother, and he doesn’t have a goddamn clue because he got to experience a life without a father who likes to talk to his wife and kids with his fucking fists.”

His words cut straight through me, and I have to move my hand to my mouth to stifle my sob.

“I didn’t mean… My intentions were good,” I insist.

Finn makes it clear with an angry raise of his hand that he doesn’t give a damn about my intentions, good or not. I guess there’s a reason they say they pave the path to hell.

“Give me the fucking paper, Scottie.”

Tears stream down my cheeks uncontrollably as I hold out the journal entry toward him, and he snatches it so fast that I swear he takes my heart with it.

His movements are quick and choppy with anger as he grabs his wallet from the bed and storms through my door, slamming it behind him.

My body aches from where Finn and I were most intimately connected not even an hour ago, but my heart overpowers that feeling by tearing itself in two.

I knew Finn was complicated and complex and his past has made him hard around the edges. I knew he was flighty and difficult to make stand still for a reason, and yet, I pursued it time and time again.

Professor Winslow. Finn’s brother. Instantly, more tears stream down my face, and guilt and shame tighten my chest.

I can’t believe this is happening.

Finn’s heart is shredded, and so is mine. And I only have myself to blame.