Knot the One They Want (Claimverse Book 1)

The steady beep of the heart monitor is the first thing that pierces through the haze of my consciousness. I crack my eyes open, squinting against the harsh fluorescent lights. The sterile white walls and the faint scent of antiseptic tell me I’m in a hospital room.

But how the hell did I get here?

Memories trickle back in disjointed fragments. The bathroom floor, cold against my feverish skin. The searing pain of the incomplete mating marks. Darkness swallowing me whole.

I reach up, my fingers brushing against the fresh bandages on my neck. The throbbing, the agonizing ache… it’s gone. Replaced by a dull soreness, like a bruise that’s finally starting to heal.

But with the physical pain receding, a new kind of dread settles over me.

People know.

They have to, if I’m here.

The humiliation of my situation, of being a half-marked omega, discarded by her alphas… it’s out there for everyone to see. To judge.

My heart monitor beeps faster, spiking with the sudden surge of anxiety shooting through me. What will Damien and the others do now? Will they finish what they started and reject me publicly? Toss me aside like yesterday’s trash?

A soft snore draws my attention to the chair beside my bed. Addison is curled up, her auburn curls wild and her face pale with exhaustion.

She came.

Of course she did. She’s my rock. My ride or die. The one person I can always count on.

As if sensing my gaze, her eyes flutter open. For a moment, she looks disoriented, but when she sees me, she bolts upright. ‘Evie! Oh my god, you’re awake!’

I manage a weak smile. ‘Hey, Addie.’

She lunges forward, wrapping me in a fierce hug. I cling to her, her flowery scent soothing as it washes through me. ‘How did you get here?’ I ask, my voice muffled against her shoulder.

She pulls back, brushing a stray curl from my face. ‘Lake found my number in your phone. He texted me last night and told me what happened.’

Last night. ‘How long have I been unconscious?’

Addison’s expression softens. ‘A while. But don’t worry about that now. The doctors say you’re going to be fine. You just need to rest and recover.’

I nod, swallowing past the lump in my throat. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. About… everything.’

She shakes her head, her eyes fierce. ‘No, don’t you dare apologize. I’m the one who’s sorry. Sorry I wasn’t there, that I didn’t see how bad things had gotten.’

‘I didn’t want anyone to know,’ I whisper, hot shame prickling at the backs of my eyes. ‘I was so embarrassed, Addie. So humiliated by what they did, and how far it got…’

Anger flashes across her face, hot and bright. ‘Fuck. Them. Fuck the whole pack. They’re the ones who should be ashamed, not you. Leaving you half-marked like that? And for this long? Unforgivable.’

I bite my lip, a question burning on my tongue. ‘Where are they?’

Addison’s jaw clenches. ‘Outside. They’ve been camped there all night, refusing to budge.’

Surprise flutters through me. ‘All of them?’

She nods grudgingly. ‘Yeah. Even Damien. Though he may be sporting a few new bruises, courtesy of yours truly.’

A startled giggle escapes me, but it quickly fades. ‘And my parents? Are they…?’

Addison’s silence is the only answer I need.

Of course they’re not here. Why would they be? They never cared enough to show up when I actually needed them before. Why start now?

The sting of their absence is a familiar pain, but it cuts deeper this time. Sharper. Because this time, I almost died. And they still couldn’t be bothered.

Addison squeezes my hand, her eyes soft with understanding. ‘I’m going to go get the doctor, okay? I’ll be right back.’

She slips out of the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. They swirl and churn, a tangle of emotions I can’t even begin to untangle. Anger, hurt, embarrassment, fear… they all bleed together, a toxic cocktail that makes my head spin.

The door opens and Addison returns, a tall man in a white coat following behind her. He offers me a warm smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners. ‘Miss Blackwood, it’s good to see you awake. You gave us quite a scare.’

‘So I’ve heard,’ I mutter, picking at a loose thread on the thin hospital blanket.

He checks my vitals, making notes on his clipboard. But when he’s finished, he doesn’t leave. Instead, he settles into the chair beside my bed, his expression growing serious.

‘Miss Blackwood, I know you’re tired, but there are some things we need to discuss. When you’re feeling better, of course.’

I tense, my fingers curling into the scratchy hospital blankets. ‘Like what?’

He hesitates, glancing at the door. ‘I know your pack is outside. Would you like me to have them removed? This is a safe place, Miss Blackwood. You can tell me if you’re in any danger. If they’ve been mistreating you…’

I almost laugh. Mistreating me? That’s the understatement of the century. But I shake my head. ‘No. They can stay.’

The doctor frowns, clearly unconvinced. ‘Are you sure? You don’t have to protect them.’

‘I’m not,’ I say, my voice firm despite the waver of exhaustion. ‘They’re not a threat to me. Not physically, anyway.’

He sighs, but nods. ‘Very well. But I want you to know that I will have to report this to the Council. You almost died, Miss Blackwood. That’s not something I can ignore.’

Panic surges through me, hot and choking. ‘No! Please, you can’t!’

The thought of this going public, of everyone knowing what happened… it’s too much. The pity, the scorn, the whispers that would follow me for the rest of my life.

The doctor holds up a placating hand. ‘We can discuss it again before you’re released. But for now, your alphas have requested an audience with you. Only if you’re feeling up to it, of course.’

I hesitate, my heart pounding against my rib cage. Can I handle facing them, after everything?

But I need answers. Need to know where I stand, what happens now. So I nod, steeling myself. ‘Okay. Send them in.’

Addison shoots me a worried look. ‘Are you sure, babes? I can make sure they fuck off if you want.’

A weak laugh bubbles up my throat. ‘I’m sure. But stay close, yeah? In case I need you to go all mama bear on their asses.’

She flashes a grin, flexing her unimpressive bicep. ‘You know it. I’ll be right outside, ready to pounce.’

She follows the doctor out, leaving the door open. A moment later, the alphas file in, their faces drawn and exhausted. Even Damien looks haggard, his eyes bloodshot and his jaw dark with stubble.

Addison glares at them each in turn as they pass her in the hall, a silent warning. I manage a slight smile. My fierce, protective Addie. I don’t know what I’d do without her.

The alphas gather around my bed as Lake closes the door, their expressions a mix of contrition and concern. It throws me, seeing them like this. Worried. Almost… caring.

But I can’t let myself be fooled. Not again. They made their feelings perfectly clear when they left me half-marked and bleeding.

Lake is the first to break the tense silence. ‘How are you feeling?’ he asks softly, his honeyed eyes searching my face.

‘Fine,’ I say, my tone clipped. ‘Just peachy.’

He winces, but presses on. ‘Evie… why didn’t you tell us you were sick? We could have helped, could have⁠—’

‘Are you serious right now?’ I cut him off, disbelief sharpening my words. ‘You really have to ask why I didn’t come to you? After everything you did?’

Lake’s shoulders slump, guilt etching deep lines into his handsome face. ‘That’s fair. I know we haven’t done anything to deserve your trust. But Evie, we’ve talked and… we want to make this right. Whatever it takes, for as long as it takes. If you’ll give us a chance.’

I stare at him, my heart a war drum in my chest.

A chance.

They want a chance.

After leaving me to rot, to suffer the consequences of their cruelty alone… now they want to play the good alphas? Now they want to care?

Anger surges through my veins, hot and potent. I want to scream, to rage, to claw at their faces until they feel even a fraction of the pain they’ve inflicted on me. But I’m so tired. Tired of fighting, tired of hurting. Tired of being alone in this nightmare.

‘I don’t know if I can do that,’ I whisper, my voice cracking. ‘I don’t think I can trust you again. Any of you.’

Damien steps forward, his blue eyes blazing with an intensity I’ve never seen before. ‘I know we don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve it. But I swear to you, Evie, on my life… I will spend every day of the rest of it earning back your trust. Earning your forgiveness.’

The words hit me like a punch to the gut, stealing the air from my lungs. Damien Blackwood apologizing? Admitting he was wrong? It’s so out of character, so unexpected, that for a moment I can only gape at him. Does one of the others have a gun to his head or something?

But then the reality of the situation crashes over me again, a tidal wave of hurt and betrayal. ‘You left me,’ I choke out, tears burning my eyes. ‘You marked me and then you just… left me. Like I was nothing.’

Damien flinches as if I’ve struck him, pain flashing across his face. ‘I know. And I will regret that for the rest of my life, Evie. But I promise you, I will make it right. We all will.’ He hesitates, looking at his fellow alphas. ‘It wasn’t… them. It was me. I made them do it.’

Damien’s words hit me like a slap in the face, shocking and painful. But beneath the sting, a tiny flicker of hope sparks to life in my chest. Hope I immediately try to smother, not daring to let it take root.

If what he says is true… if he was the one who made the others reject me… it would explain so much. The way Cole, Asher, and Lake have never seemed to hate me the way Damien does. The guilt and regret in their eyes every time they look at me.

But still, it doesn’t make sense. Doesn’t justify the cruelty of their actions.

I look at the other alphas, my voice tight as I ask, ‘Is that true? Did he make you do it?’

They exchange glances, a silent conversation passing between them. Finally, Cole nods, his jaw tight. ‘Yes. But it’s not an excuse, Evie. We never should have gone along with it, no matter what Damien said.’

Asher steps forward, his green eyes pleading. ‘We were weak. We let our loyalty to Damien override our conscience, our instincts. And we’ll never forgive ourselves for that. The moment we met, we all knew the truth. The truth that you are our scent match.’

His words fire off like a shot in the room, and everything goes silent for a few eternal seconds. The others say nothing, but I can tell from their faces it’s the truth. I can tell from the way Damien flinches.

That would explain a lot, too. The fact that, even on suppressants, they smelled like heaven to me when we first met. Even if that realization turned bitter with their coldness.

I just assumed it was one-sided. I mean, I couldn’t possibly be matched to alphas who treated me like I didn’t exist, could I?

The realization does nothing to soothe my doubts, though. If anything, it drives the wedge of betrayal in even deeper.

I’m their scent match, and they still treated me like this?

Lake reaches out as if to touch me, but stops himself, his hand hovering in the air. ‘Please, Evie. Give us a chance to make it right. To prove we’re not the monsters we acted like.’

I stare at them, my heart a battlefield of warring emotions. I want to believe them. Want to believe that they’re not the cruel, heartless bastards they seemed to be. But trust is a fragile thing, and they shattered mine into a million jagged pieces.

I turn back to Damien, meeting his icy blue gaze head-on. ‘Why?’ I ask, my voice barely above a whisper. ‘Why did you make them reject me if you knew we were matched?’

He flinches as if I’ve physically struck him, a muscle ticking in his jaw. For a long moment, he’s silent, his eyes searching mine as if looking for answers he doesn’t have.

Finally, he sighs, running a hand through his dark hair. ‘It’s not… it has nothing to do with you, Evie. It’s me. My issues, my fucked up head. If you hate anyone, it should be me.’

I laugh, the sound harsh and bitter in the quiet room. ‘I have a right to hate all of you. And believe me, I wish I could. It would make this so much easier.’

Because hating them… it would be simple. Clean. A way to protect my battered heart from further damage. But as much as I want to, as much as I try… I can’t seem to summon that level of loathing. Not when I look at their faces, see the genuine remorse and pain etched into every line.

I soften, my shoulders slumping as the fight drains out of me. ‘But I don’t. I don’t hate you. Any of you. Even though I probably should.’

Relief flashes across their faces, so stark and raw that it steals my breath. But I hold up a hand, stopping any premature celebrations.

‘That doesn’t mean I trust you, though. Just because I’m not going to report this to the Council, just because I don’t want to see you punished and our families pay the price… it doesn’t mean we’re okay. You broke something in me, something I don’t know if I can ever fully repair. Scent match or no.’

I’ve spent this long gaslighting myself. Telling myself I couldn’t be feeling what I am. And they’ve spent this long ignoring it.

What difference does it really make?

My voice cracks, tears burning the backs of my eyes. ‘You made me feel worthless. Unlovable. Like I was nothing more than a toy for you to play with and then toss aside. And that… that’s not something I can just forgive and forget.’

The alphas stand in somber silence, guilt and shame darkening their faces. But beneath that, I see a glimmer of determination. Of resolve.

‘We know,’ Asher says, his voice rough with emotion. ‘We know we fucked up, Evie. Badly. But if you give us a chance… if you let us try… you won’t have to take our word for it. We know that means nothing, but we intend on proving it. Proving that you’re the most precious thing in our world.’

The words wrap around my heart like constricting thorns, squeezing until I can barely breathe. I want to believe him. Want to throw myself into their arms and let them chase away the shadows of pain and insecurity.

But I can’t. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

Because trust is earned, not given. And they have a long, long way to go before they’ve earned mine back. Before they can ever hope to get even a fraction of it.

‘I guess we’ll see,’ is the only response I can give him.

And considering it’s more than any of them gave me, it will have to be enough.