Knot A Trace: Part One

I didn’t need another shower, but I refused to let River see me cry.

It also doesn’t hurt to wash off his scent again.

I don’t care what he says—I’m going to work.

If I don’t, I don’t know what I’ll do.

I can’t rest.

Every time I close my eyes, April’s there, and fear claws at my throat.

I spend more time than necessary in the shower, trying to figure out how to give River his jacket back.

What was I thinking? I can tell he didn’t buy my lie, either.

I’m sure it still smells like me, even though I spot cleaned as much of it as I could and rubbed the teeth marks out.

It’s still in my bedroom, draped over my desk chair.

And my lower stomach keeps cramping as slick pours out of me.

Damn him.

“Do you just not care what happens to you?”

His accusation from earlier still stings, because he’s right.

Part of me doesn’t care.

“Or are you too wrapped up in feeling sorry for yourself?”

I grit my teeth and try not to cry as I finish washing up.

His words won’t matter.

He doesn’t know me, and neither does Landon.

But my inner Omega is awakened now, and she wants nothing more than to keep spending time with both of them.

She wants to drown in their scents. She wants to pull out all her nesting blankets from the closet and create a giant, comfortable space on her bed where she can invite both detectives in.

Letting out a frustrated growl, I turn off the water and step out of the shower. I wrap myself in my fluffiest towel, vigorously drying myself off. The fabric grazes my mating gland and I yelp.

It’s even more sensitive than yesterday.

“Shit,” I murmur, as a violent cramp pulses through my womb. I grip the bathroom counter for support and breathe through the pain.

This Heat is going to be bad, and it’s all those stupid Alphas’ faults.

I open my medicine cabinet and down a painkiller made specifically for my Heat. Then, I dress quickly in faded dark jeans and a basic black shirt that’s seen better days.

It’s perfect for work, given that I’ll likely be covered in coffee by the end of my shift.

I took a longer shower than normal, but then I stay in my room like a coward, unable to face River and his accusations.

When I can’t wait any longer and it’s time for me to leave for the café, I pull my damp hair up into a bun, then grab River’s jacket off my chair, my face flaming. Taking a deep breath, I open my bedroom door and walk down the hallway.

I recognize Landon’s scent before I even turn the corner, but my eyes widen when I finally see them.

Devyn and Ben both stand in my front room, along with the detectives. Devyn’s eyes are red and puffy, and Ben speaks quietly with Landon as River scowls.

Everyone freezes when I enter the room.

Something is terribly wrong.

They found her; she’s fucking dead. You didn’t do enough—

“What happened?” My voice is low and eerily calm. “Where is she?”

She’s dead. This is your fault. You didn’t check on her that evening—

Devyn puts her face in her hands and sobs. Ben pulls her close and murmurs something in her ear while she nods.

Landon and River both look at me. River’s lips are pulled into a thin line, and Landon sighs.

“They found April’s car,” he says simply. “

“…okay,” I say. “But they didn’t find her.” My skin tingles with chills. “They didn’t find her,” I repeat, my eyes burning into Landon’s.

He shakes his head. “They didn’t, Skylar. But…”

Devyn lets out another sob, and I can feel River’s gaze on me as I glare at Landon. “But what?”

“But it’s not a good sign,” he says apologetically.

I blink, not comprehending. “Well? Was she in the car?”

“No,” River says. “Ben found it and made a report.”

Both Landon and River keep staring at me, and finally, I snap.

“If you’re not going to help us, you can leave,” I snarl, tossing River’s jacket at him. “Because I have things I need to do. Has anyone told Tammy? I need to visit her.”

I make a mental list. I can call the news stations again, make social media posts and print out more flyers.

I’ll create a sense of urgency. Now people that didn’t care before may suddenly want to be involved.

I’ll make more cookies. I can do that.

I can control that.

“Excuse me,” I breathe, pushing past River and into the kitchen. The chills rush up my body, and I catch myself shaking as I pull open the notebook of recipes and flip to one I think might do well in a bake drive.

Someone is calling my name, but my head hurts too much to respond back.

Vanishing Red Velvet.

April’s Apricots.

I can get some apricot preserves—

A warm hand touches my shoulder, and I shriek. I turn and crane my neck up to face Landon, his face is etched in concern.

“Skylar,” he says, his voice low. “You can’t go anywhere right now. You’re still healing.”

I push at his chest, my fingertips connecting with solid muscle under his perfect, crease free white button up. “You don’t get to tell me what to do. You don’t know me, and you certainly aren’t—helping—”

The air is sucked out of my lungs. My teeth chatter and my hands are shaky as Landon steps closer and grips my shoulders.

“Look at me. Skylar, look at me.”

Devyn says my name, but I keep my gaze locked on Landon, who relaxes his grip. “Breathe. Keep your eyes on me,” he orders.

My inner Omega is all too eager to obey.

I take in a shaky breath, taking in his scent. It’s a grounding, soothing essence, and my shaking stops within four breaths.

“Good,” he praises. “Keep looking at me. Just me.”

I nod. “Just you,” I repeat softly.

I have the frightening urge to reach up and run my hand through his hair.

“Skylar,” Ben says. I turn my head away from Landon finally. “Skylar, I already told Tammy. And I’m organizing another search near the area where we found the car.”

“You’re not alone in this,” Devyn pipes up, sniffling. “It’s not all on you.”

I glance at River, who nods slowly.

“You can’t drive,” River adds. “We won’t allow it.”

I struggle out of Landon’s hold and sidestep both Devyn and Ben. I pull open the front door and step out into the driveway, desperate to get away from them.

Why do they care so much? It makes tears spring to my eyes.

They act like they care, but they’re just going to leave.

Just like April left. Just like Jason left.

Everyone leaves.

I sit in my driveway and wipe at my face. I can’t get sucked into the spiral. If I do, I may drown in sorrow and never resurface.

“Skylar?”

I hear my front door shut, then turn to see Landon slowly walking over to me. His perfect features are pulled into a frown, and I look away to stare out into my neighborhood.

I’ve always loved this place. It’s small, but still charming.

And now it’ll be stained with the scent of Alphas that I’ll never see again.

He sits down next to me, stretching his long legs out on the driveway as he sighs.

I won’t look at him.

I want him too much.

“Just leave before you make this worse,” I whisper. “I don’t have it in me, Landon.”

I can feel him staring at me, but I refuse to glance his way.

His scent caresses me, making me want to collapse in his arms.

“I’m just so tired,” I whisper, tears forming in my eyes. A car slowly drives by, and I focus my attention on the vehicle instead of the Alpha sitting next to me.

Everything hurts. My head, my joints, my heart, my soul.

The wind blows softly, and Landon lets out a soft sigh.

His hand reaches out, and I watch, stunned, as he takes mine.

My inner Omega weeps at the contact, and I shame myself for being so needy.

“Don’t—” I say, but he simply interlaces our fingers. I gasp at the intimate contact and turn to meet his expression.

His dark eyes are determined, and I find myself gazing at his full lips.

“We’re going to help you,” he says solemnly. “River and I.”

I shake my head, confused. “But—you can’t—”

“We can make time,” he says, squeezing my hand. “It won’t be a lot, and it can’t be all the time, but we want to help.”

I stay frozen, my eyes locked on his.

“I think the concussion is making me imagine things,” I whisper.

He cracks a tiny smile, and his scent intensifies, notes of cedarwood complementing the earthy pine. “No,” he chuckles. “This is very real.”

“What—what made you change your mind?” I stammer, my eyes widening.

His brown eyes burn into mine. “You,” he says quietly. “You are what changed our minds.”

Tears of disbelief spill from my eyes.

They’re going to help me.

A weight has been lifted from my shoulders, and I let out a laugh, smiling as I cry.

“I could kiss you right now,” I choke out, shaking my head. “I…I don’t know how to thank you.”

He quirks an eyebrow and brings his other hand to my face. His fingers wipe away a tear at my cheek. “That smile is worth it,” he promises me, and my chest tightens.

I seriously debate kissing him.

Would he pull away? Would he rescind his offer?

I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his chest, and he responds immediately. He embraces me, wrapping his strong arms around me, as I laugh into his chest.

“Thank you, thank you,” I murmur over and over.

He keeps me in his arms, rocking me gently as his chest vibrates.

Landon’s purr echoes throughout my body, soothing the throbbing in my head.

I inhale deeply, his scent caressing my body.

Alpha Alpha Alpha!

I don’t know how long I stay in the driveway with him. All I know is that his touch is just as addictive as River’s.

And now, I get more time with both of them.

A throat clears behind us, and I tilt my head to see River, now wearing his jacket.

Judging by the smolder in his gaze, he has some idea of what I did with it.

I quickly untangle myself from Landon and stand back up, swallowing nervously as Landon follows suit.

But River doesn’t say a word to me. Instead, his gaze falls to Landon. “You ready?” he asks him.

Landon nods. “She knows now.” Then he turns back to me and smiles. “Right?”

I can’t help but smile back. “Yes. Thank you again. You have no idea what it means to me. I’ll make you a million cookies. I’ll bake you anything you want.”

Landon chuckles, but River gives me a smirk. “You’ve done more than enough already,” he says. “You don’t have to convince us.”

Oh, he definitely knows what I did with his jacket.

Landon watches me carefully, then looks back at River, frowning.

“River, what did you—”

Then Devyn appears, her eyes glassy. Landon doesn’t finish his sentence, and instead directs his next words to her. “Will you make sure she doesn’t go back to work in the meantime? She needs to rest, and I can’t be around her twenty-four seven, as much as I would like to.”

My inner Omega screams with joy as River scowls, noticing my reaction.

Is he…jealous?

Devyn nods. “Of course. Thank you again for everything.”

River mumbles a goodbye to me as his fingers play with the sleeve of his jacket. As the detectives drive away, I stay in my driveway, dumbfounded.

They’re going to help me.

But not only that, for the first time in a long time, I have a crush.

On two Alphas.