Kid

I’m losing myself again.

She’s the cause.

She makes the world around me blurry every time I’m with her, almost drawing every conceivable ounce of attention solely to her alone. This lust mixed with love? It’s a new form of torture I’ve introduced to myself. I feel it building within me, starting deep in the pit of my stomach, rising to my chest, needing an escape—an outlet for the pressure about to cause me to implode. So many fucking feelings and I’m not sure I’m handling them the right way.

Off my face, obsessed.

After kissing her with everything I have, she bites down. I hiss as her teeth sink into my bottom lip, that familiar taste of iron filling my mouth. I pull back, touching the puncture as the blood slowly drips inside my lip, the wild look in her eyes making my cock grow longer.

“I’m sick too, Kai,” she whispers beneath me. “I love when you hurt me, just like I know you love when I hurt you.”

She’s not wrong, unfortunately. Doesn’t take two unused years of psychology to figure out why that happens. We both come from traumatic backgrounds, and yet, the pain centers us while letting us exploit our demons. The demons that seem to speak the same sick language when we’re together.

“You’re right,” I say as her free hand comes up to my mouth. “I wasn’t lying when I said there is only one person who can hurt me.”

Her thumb brushes over my lip, smearing the blood across my face before bringing the thumb to her mouth and sucking on the end, staring dangerously at me as she consumes me.

“You own that part of me.”

She’s psychotic—nearly mad. But so am I. No one could understand her the way that I do, the way that I continuously need to. I want to give her everything she needs, and be the only one who knows her inside out. She consumes me, but I’ve yet to consume the entirety of her.

We’re close though, and maybe through this experience she’ll open another door of the dark castle that makes her, trusting me further and allowing me deeper into the hallway that leads to that little closed off heart of hers.

I don’t want to hurt her, but I want her to feel the pain of being alive. It’s the only thing keeping her here in the present with me, away from the shadow of death that lingers. Pain is that reminder she consistently seeks to ground herself.

“I want everything.” The words are heavy as they fall from her lips, pulling me back down to earth with their weight. “All parts.”

“I want to give you everything.” I say each word slow and precise,my gaze burning through her. “Everything.”

She remains quiet as she stares back at me, understanding the line we are about to cross. The seriousness in her gaze sends my heart racing. She knows my intensity, claims she loves it. But, I vividly remember her telling me I’m a lot to handle at times. I am, but I’m giving her a chance to embrace that.

“You’re going to need to do what I say,” I breathe.

Her eyes narrow slightly in confusion.

“You’re going to listen to me, and do exactly what I say,” I reiterate. “Got that?”

Her throat rolls again as she takes in a breath, nodding once.

I ease myself off of her on the bed, heading towards her closet to find another belt. It’s not hard. She has tons of them. I grab a black leather one with spikes coming out of it, purely for my pleasure, and walk towards her free arm, leaning over her to tie that one up too.

Grabbing for the wrist, she pulls it away from me. I blink up at her, grabbing for it again. Yet again, she pulls it away from me.

“You thought I was just going to make it easy?” she asks with a frown that slowly slides into a nasty little grin.

She forgets she’s already half tied up. How hard could this really be?

But, I entertain it. Grabbing for her hand again, she curls it under her, raising a playful brow. That little shit.

I grab for her upper arm when she sends a knee into my side. I grunt, looking at her in disbelief for a moment before all hell breaks loose.

I immediately hop on top of her legs, straddling her hips against the bed as she attempts to kick me off of her. Her arm comes back around, and just as I’m about to grab for the belt, she grabs the knife I left on the edge of the bed. She flips it up with her thumb, pointing it at me with a wild glare as her chest heaves beneath me.

The best part about it is she thinks she’s got the upper hand now, not knowing I don’t give two fucks about being cut by her. It doesn’t scare me in the least. She throws out a quick jab with it and I grab her forearm with one firm hand, the other quickly bending her wrist into itself until the pain forces her to release a cry, simultaneously dropping the blade. Her face drops in disappointment before I can literally see the wheels spinning in her head, planning her next move.

Grabbing the knife again, I lean down to fold it up while still holding her wrist in the other hand. I bend forward to lay it on the floor when her head comes up and headbutts me, causing the knife to drop beside the bed as her wrist becomes free again.

“Jesus, shit!” I curse, rubbing my forehead.

What in the crazy fuck?

Now I’m just getting pissed and by the looks of it, she is, too. Her face is set in a scowl, attempting to free her legs that I’m sitting on, trapping her thighs. I grab for her wrist again and she smacks me across the face with a backhand, making my dick harder than hard. I’m a twisted fuck.

Breathing heavily now, my molars grind together as I glare down at her feisty little ass through my disheveled blonde locks. I really want to just smack her back. Man, do I want to. The corner of her lip draws up into a little knowing grin. She nods her head, edging me on. Taunting me. She wants it. She wants it so bad. What a little fucking brat.

I want to give her everything she wants. I promised her I would.

I raise my hand and slap her across the face. Fuck, it feels oddly good, giving her what she’s begging for. I feel it stem from the palm of my hand down to the pit of my stomach, the blood rushing to my dick as I lean forward, straddling her. But that good feeling is immediately replaced with fear.

My palm stings, so I know her cheek must be burning. Her head lays turned towards her shoulder, her hair splayed across her forehead and eyes that are cinched shut. Her lips are parted open as the breath escaping her causes the loose hair over her mouth to rise and fall against her nose.

“Han,” I say quickly, my eyes wide as hell as I cup her face in my hands.

She pushed me to do it and now I’m terrified I’ve seriously crossed the line. I hit her. Oh my God, I hit her.

She slowly rolls her head back to face me. A lazy grin on her face.

“Yes,” she moans as she sighs, like she can finally breathe or something. “Again.”

I release a breath, knowing she’s alright, that this was consensual, and that fear is lifted. Placing soft kisses over the pink cheek, I heal what I’ve harmed before resting my forehead against hers. She smiles lightly as I place sweet kisses on her lips.

“I love you,” I whisper against her mouth, needing her to know before I do it again. “I love you. I love you.”

I run my hand down her smooth stomach, arching up on my knees above her, finding her folds, sopping wet on my fingers. I glide my fingers along her slit before pushing two of them deep within her as my other hand quickly slaps her swaying breast hard, tossing the chain from her nipple ring to her neck to roll to her throat again.

She moans loudly, smiling, and I swear I hear the slap echo throughout the room. Her hips thrust up, grinding against my hand, riding my finger and tightening around it as she pulls on the restraint. She’s in love with the pain. In her own world of hazy bliss. I turn her on her stomach, careful to allow the belt to twist along with us to protect her wrist. I grab the other belt again, tightening it on her loose wrist, finally tying both of her arms to the bed.

“Finally slapped the brat outta you, huh?” I gloat in her ear.

I back off, eyeing the curve of her spine, the spot on her lower back where those delicious dimples dip before her perfectly toned ass curves out.

Fuck.

Stripping myself of my jeans, my heavy cock bobs in the air as I grab the knife again before settling between her legs on the bed.

“I love it, Kai. All of it,” she says in her sexy cracked tone as she wiggles her ass at me, enjoying the sensation of her clit against the bed.

I lift her hips with both hands until she’s on her knees. A small whine leaves her lips when her wrists pull back against the belts, unable to rest her arms against the bed.

“You don’t get to please yourself,” I growl in her ear. “Only this tongue, my fingers, and my cock get to claim that.”

She spreads her legs further, jutting her hips back, opening herself to me, hungry for more. I spread her thighs from beneath with my large, splayed hands, opening her sex to me. I bend down and stick my tongue in her sweet, aching hole from behind. She cries out, her thighs shaking already. Toying with her sex, I suck on her pussy lips, flicking my tongue in fast flutters against her swollen clit before biting down on the sensitive nub.

“Oh, yes…yes,” she cries out.

I pull back immediately, losing my mind over the taste and smell of her surrounding me. I’m salivating like a wild fucking animal, and the pressure I feel in the tip of my dick is unparalleled. I need to come.

I plant myself behind her, gripping her hips in my hands as my cock sways against her ass.

“You’re so fucking bad for me,” I spit out at her before bringing my palm down on her ass.

She cries out at the pain as I spank her.

“You make me want to do the nastiest shit,” I say, bringing my hand down again, stinging pain in the same spot.

“Yeah,” she moans, her head dropping forward. “Give me nasty, Kai.”

She lets me play, slapping her two more times as she takes each one in stride. But it’s too much for me. I’m about to combust. I can’t just sit here, watching her dripping in front of me, just begging for something to fill her aching center.

“I need to fuck you,” I say, finally lining the swollen head of my cock against her tight hole.

She nods, grasping onto the belts above where her wrists are restrained for leverage.

I press into her, watching her slowly stretch and swallow the head of my angry cock. My eyes roll to the back of my head at the intense sensation of her warm, wet center clinging to me tightly. With a quick thrust, I drive myself deep into her from behind. She arches her back and takes me willingly, a light whimper escaping her lips.

“Tell me you’re mine,” I demand, needing to hear the words.

“Yours,” she answers with a breathy moan, adjusting around me.

“Tell me you need me,” I say, pumping back into her with another deep stroke, the sensation electrifying me from the inside out.

She whimpers at the same time she says, “Only you.”

I’m in over my head with this girl. Those words set me off and I can’t control myself. I grip into the flesh of her hips, pulling her back, sliding her on my cock again and again as her ass meets my pelvis, taking it all.

“It’s so good,” she cries out, turning her cheek to her shoulder.

“Jesus, look at that,” I say beneath my breath, eyeing the base of my cock that’s throbbing inside of her. “You’ve made a fucking mess of me.”

My grip gets tighter on her hips while her ass slaps roughly against my skin, the sound of us connecting, filling the sterile room with nothing but electricity and pure, colorful energy.

“Fuck!” she curses out, hanging onto the belts for leverage.

Her head drops, and I feel her begin to spasm and tighten around me.

“Tell me when you’re close,” I grunt, thrusting again.

She gasps as I fill her as deep as I can, her wet heat gripping the tip of my dick like a fist. The pleasurable sensation of being in her with nothing separating us again is coursing through me. My spine is tingling at the immense and overwhelming feeling, my release on the brink.

“I’m close, but I need more,” she says through shallow breaths. “Mark me, Kai. I need you deep in me, my head, my skin, my veins. I need to feel you everywhere.”

I pause inside her, stilling for a moment as I blow air through my lips. I grind my teeth to hold off my cum after hearing her say those words. I don’t want this feeling to end, but I sense it building. That tingly feeling in my fucking balls that tells me this is about to be a really intense orgasm.

Mark me, Kai. Those words. She has no idea what they mean to me. I’ve always wanted to mark her, claim her as mine forever since the moment I met her in that dark, dirty basement. The mysterious green-eyed goddess that was always unobtainable. I wanted to drown myself in her, and hearing she wants to do the same is music to my ears. I’ve never been so focused on anything in all of my life until her.

Grabbing the knife again, I kneel behind her, sliding myself back into her tight heat, closing my eyes at the overall feeling of ecstasy. Angling the blade against the upper part of her hip, she turns her head back to look at me, her little button nose to her shoulder. I catch her gaze and stare into her exotic eyes as I carve my presence into her flesh.

She bites down on her shoulder, wincing through the pain as the blade gently punctures her skin, a red bead of blood instantly forming. I cut a small letter “K”, about the size of a dime into her soft skin, permanently etching myself into her story. A new tattoo, representing the reawakening of herself to a life that’s not simply surrounded by death, but to a new existence. One in which she could still be herself in the light of day without the veil of disguise. One she’d never envisioned until me.

I feel her spasm around me again as the blood seeps from the slight wound. My eyes find hers and there’s a darkness to the exchange.

“Mine.” I declare.

She studies me, her chest heaving as the weight of it registers. Nodding, she drops her head again, submitting to me entirely. Surrendering the complexities of her mind, the release of her body, and, most importantly, the opening of a broken heart.