Just a Wolf

Dominic

I am worried that Amelia is never going to want to touch me again. After hearing Corinne describe the disgusting abuse that she has suffered, I’ll bet that Amelia is going to be turned off of sex forever. I’m afraid that touching her will make her scared, or repulsed. Or both. Probably both. I’m a man, and she has just spent the evening hearing gruesome details about how horrible men can be. I don’t think there’s any overcoming that.

We say good night to Evan and Theo before we get back to the packhouse, and don’t even pretend not to just be going to her room together. We walk along the back of the building to her stairway in silence, and I wonder what she is thinking.

I can sense her feelings a little bit though, now, due to our growing mate bond. So I try to focus on that as we walk down the stairs towards her room. Do I sense her feeling disgusted? Scared?

No, not really. I feel all the love that I hold for her, stronger than ever, and I don’t sense that she doesn’t want me here. Even now that she knows how terrible men can be, can she possibly still want me?

She opens her door and lets me in, and closes it behind me. As usual, she doesn’t turn on any lights. It’s nice to be here in the dark, able to see each other only dimly. I don’t try to grab her like I have every single other time we have entered her room, since I want to be cautious, and not scare her.

Sounding puzzled, she says, “What’s wrong?” with a tiny tone of pain in her voice.

“What? Nothing.”

“Well, why didn’t you….” she trails off.

Now I sense a new feeling coming from her, like she is worried. Oh crap what am I doing wrong?

Her eyes, even in the dark, I can see are filled with a sense of hurt. Well, clearly I’m messing something up. And I realize that the last thing I should be doing is guessing what she wants. I just have to ask her. I have to be open.

“I thought that maybe after… um, listening to Corinne might make you not want to….” Hm. Planning to have a deep discussion is one thing. Making my brain and mouth cooperate is another thing entirely. I freeze, unable to continue explaining myself.

She lets out air, like a sigh, with a sound of realization. “Ahhhhhh…” she breathes, then takes my hand and leads me to the bed. “Have a seat,” she says.

We sit together, holding hands still, but nothing else. We look at each other, in the faint moonlight slanting in through her narrow basement windows at the top of her wall. She’s so beautiful in the silvery darkness.

I try again. “After everything you heard tonight, I figured you’d be, uh, having second thoughts about me.”

She looks at me with her head tilted like she’s trying to understand what I’m saying.

“How does that have anything to do with you?” she asks.

“Well, I’m, you know, a man, and Corinne was talking about men, and I thought….” Again, my ability to construct coherent sentences is inadequate.

She nods, and says slowly, “I thought that might be what you meant.” She brings her other hand up, so that she is holding mine in both of hers, and her fingers feel so warm on me, and the little tingles of pleasure that it brings haven’t changed, no matter what we heard tonight. She brings my hand up to her lips, and gives it a little kiss, causing another little zing of pleasure.

“I don’t blame you for what they did,” she says, in a tone like this should be obvious.

“But I thought that knowing what it was like for her might, I don’t know, scare you away. You wouldn’t want that.”

“Well, of course I don’t want that. But I trust you, Dom, I know that you wouldn’t hurt me. What those men did to Corinne was because they are cruel and evil beasts. How could I ever think you’d be like that?”

“Um, cause I’m a guy?”

I sense more than see her rolling her eyes in the darkness. “Just being a guy doesn’t mean you’re a rapist. Having the same equipment as them doesn’t mean anything. There are guys who are professional football players, and you have the same number of hands and feet as they do. Does that mean you are automatically in the NFL?”

I have to laugh a little at her sweet and funny comparison. She’s not wrong.

She goes on. “I would never generalize what you are like to be the same as what other men are like. Everyone makes their own choices, but I believe that most men, most people, are decent. Every man in my pack is a good and decent person, and I know you are too.” She stops herself from saying something, then goes on. “I was going to say that those men are rogues for a reason, because they are criminals, but now that I know not all rogues deserve it, I guess I can’t generalize that either.”

I lift her hand up to my lips and kiss it, the same as she did for me. “Well, no, but I think we can probably assume that although most people are decent, most rogues probably are criminals. Just the numbers Corinne told us about her rogue gang show that. And it sounds like all the men in her gang are vicious and awful. I was just worried that you’d think I would be like that.”

She gazes up at me, and shakes her head. “Never,” she breathes.

“So,” I hesitate, “you aren’t afraid of me… touching you again?”

She huffs out a little laugh, and I can’t imagine why, until she says, “It’s the exact opposite. I couldn’t wait all night for you to touch me, because I feel like that’s the only way that I can get those images out of my mind. It’s like wanting to take a shower to get clean - I want to use you to wash away that filth we heard about.”

I stare at her. I definitely had not imagined her reacting like this. But it makes sense. One of my hands is still in both of hers, but I use the other one to reach up and caress her cheek. She closes her eyes, and leans her face into my palm for a moment, then says, “Enough talking.”

Amelia

I am worried that he won’t want to touch me, after hearing those horrible stories that Corinne told us. And when we get to my room, and he doesn’t touch me, I am so afraid that I was right, and I don’t know how I am going to be able to fix this.

But after a little bit of talking, we sort it out. He was also worried I wouldn’t want to touch him. But I mean what I tell him. Hearing Corinne’s story was like eating something gross, and I just want to wash the taste out of my mouth. Dom is like the fresh water that I need to do that. I have been craving him all night.

I want to feel him again, the way I felt him last night, his wonderful skin pressed against mine. So I lean back from him, take my hands away from his, and pull my shirt up over my head. I hear his intake of breath. Then, I only hesitate a moment, and decide what is even the point of keeping this bra on, so I reach behind myself and unhook it, and drop it to the floor as well. I’m losing my sense of shyness around him. Now his breathing is shaky.

I feel his hands reach for me, and his cool fingers give me a little jolt when he brushes them against my skin. He rubs across my shoulders, down my back, then around to the front, and both of his hands grasp both of my boobs.

We both gasp. I feel him squeeze, just very lightly, on both sides, and he breathes, “Oh my god, Amelia, I love you,” and it just makes me melt.

I reach out and put my hands under his shirt, and start rubbing up his chest, and he immediately reaches behind him and yanks it over his head, so his chest is bare too, and I can’t resist leaning forward to take another little lick of his skin, just like last night.

He lets out a very sexy moan, and grabs me. We fall down onto the bed together, and he is kissing me, and his hands are all over me, and his chest is pressed against mine, and his tongue is in my mouth, and every single other thought in my head is driven away. This is exactly what I needed, the cleansing shower, the cool drink of refreshing water, to reset my mind to where it needs to be. I have absorbed Corinne’s story, I have the knowledge of what she has taught us, but it makes no difference to the relationship that I have with my mate. Our love is intense and pure and everything I could ever want. It is everything. He is everything. He is my whole universe.

We both spend some time grazing our teeth over the spots on each other’s throats where our marks will be. I really do think that doing this is the only thing that is keeping us going until we officially mark each other, claim each other, unite forever. Well, that and the way that we have learned how to make each other come.

It happens at the same time tonight, our hands reaching down to each other’s crotches, rubbing and rubbing over our pants until we each come, at the same time, rather than taking turns. Having it happen together makes it even more extraordinary, and I know that I am just that much closer to being ready. Ready for sex, for marking, for mating, for going public.

Just a few more days to go.