Just a Rogue

Lynette

Fucking Xavier keeps me in that damned collar so long that I’m half dead by the time he lets Seth release me. I’m a she-wolf, and I should be strong and vital and powerful. But right now I’m so limp and weak that I can’t take advantage of this freedom to do anything about it. I can barely keep my eyes open, barely look around to try to figure out where we are. A cave, it seems, but not one I’ve seen before. I might not even be able to stand up here, it looks like the ceiling is so low.

My poor wolf comes cringing back into the surface of my mind, having retreated so far under the excruciating assault of the silver against my throat that I feared I’d never hear from her again.

“Are you okay?” I silently ask her, just as I realize that Seth is holding a water bottle to my lips.

“Yes,” my wolf responds, but it is so faint, like she is whispering from a long distance away. There’s not going to be any shifting possible. I just hope to have the silver away from my body long enough to heal. My throat is still on fire with pain, the raw wound rubbed by the collar tracing a scorching path all the way around my neck.

I manage to get a sip of water in, swallowing painfully past my swollen throat, before Xavier grabs me.

No silver, and one sip of water. Better than before. I’ll take it.

I realize as Xavier yanks my hand up that poor Nova is still handcuffed to me. That sweet girl is so miserable. I want to murder Xavier for this, but I can’t even find the strength to give him a decent glare. I glance over at her, and her pale hair is glimmering in the dim light barely filtering in from outside the cave entrance. It’s not light enough in here to see her eyes or her expression or anything else, just her hair. It’s almost like she’s lit from within.

He pushes us down to the uneven floor, rocky and uncomfortable, puts our joined hands up over our heads, and crawls between us. I immediately move as close as I can to his loathsome body. I hate this man with every fiber of my being. I want him dead. I fantasize every day about how I will murder him when I finally have the chance. But I’m not above using his body warmth. Staying cold will delay my healing.

I see Nova on his other side move against him as well, and he turns to her, taking his warmth back away from me, and rolls over to be up on top of her. I close my eyes, feeling my wrist jerked back and forth in the handcuff as he uses her, and I can’t protect her or do anything about it but stay silent and fantasize about his gruesome death.

When he’s done, he doesn’t roll over onto me as well, which is a mercy, but he does allow me to move close enough to try to warm myself against his body.

I fall asleep hating him, and needing his warmth, and longing for his death.

Corinne

I’m kneeling on the hard cave floor in front of his feet, while Xavier looms over me, enraged. He requires absolute obedience, especially from a she-wolf like me, but I committed the crime of running away. I beg him to forgive me. He will not, and as he kicks me to the ground all I can do is cry and curl my limbs around my torso, trying to protect the baby….

My eyes open. Where am I? The early gray light filters in through the little window at the top of the wall and I realize the answer with a flood of relief. Still in the River Moon packhouse. At least it didn’t take me so long to figure it out this time. Just when I’m finally starting to get used to it, the time to leave has arrived, and this time the realization brings a flood of disappointment.

No. I cannot allow this self-pity. I force myself to sit up in bed, and I look at the little clock on the nightstand. Not yet six in the morning, and Janine told me we would leave at daybreak.

I go to use the bathroom, appreciating the toilet that flushes, the sink where I can splash water on my face. I’ll miss indoor plumbing when I am in the cave. I’m not taking a shower here though, I’ll do that at the shelter before getting dressed in the clothes we bought yesterday, to wash away any last signs of the pack’s scent.

I dress in the little crop top and shorts that I arrived in. Just in case anyone reporting to Xavier sees me entering the homeless shelter in Arcata, I don’t want them to have any reason to suspect that I haven’t just been living in the area around town, homeless and without resources. I’ll only be cold until I can get to the shelter.

There’s a soft knock on the door, then it opens to Amelia’s concerned face. I’m going to miss her. “Are you ready?” she asks.

I look around the room that has been my home for the past week, the closest thing to a real home that I’ve ever had. Everything is already packed away in my backpack.

“Yeah,” I say, and she steps back from the door so that I can exit the room without getting too close to her.

As we’re walking upstairs, she asks, “Can you think of anything else?” She starts ticking off items on her fingers. “You’ll shower and change at the shelter when you arrive, then have breakfast there. They’ll have a cot ready for you to spend the night, and all the wolves have been instructed to stay at least several feet away from you.”

I shake my head. “You all have thought of everything.” I look over at her as she finishes climbing the stairs behind me. “Thank you so much, Amelia. I knew when I met you in that cafe in Arcata that you’re a nice person, but I had no idea how much. You feel like a… like a friend.” I am embarrassed by the quaver in my voice.

She looks touched. “I feel the same way, Corinne. We are friends, and we’ll take care of the rogues, and everything will be fine in just a few days.”

Janine is waiting for us near the back door. Nobody else is up and around yet, except that I can hear the sounds of breakfast being prepared in the kitchen. It suddenly makes me feel bad that I haven’t said goodbye to my friends on the staff there, but it’s too late now. Maybe I’ll get the chance to see them again afterwards. If I can get through this.

“Goodbye,” I whisper to Amelia, who lifts her hand to me in a sad little wave, her eyes filled with so much feeling and compassion.

“Okay,” Janine says, “let’s do this.”

We walk together across the lawn to the garage, where Dom has opened the door for us and is waiting outside. “Your car’s ready,” he says. “I haven’t gone inside it, only your scents from yesterday should be in there.” He looks at me with much the same expression that Amelia had, and says, “Good luck. You can do it.” His voice sounds certain and confident. I wish I felt that way.

I get into the back, behind the passenger seat, to keep the most distance between me and the Luna inside the car. She talks to me from the front, quizzing me again about the devices I need to set up, making sure that I remember everything.

The ride to town goes by in a flash. She doesn’t take me all the way to the shelter, we decided I can’t be seen getting dropped off in a car. She stops about a mile away, on the outskirts of town. She pulls the car into a little deserted parking lot with grass growing through cracks in the asphalt, next to an abandoned gas station with the forest behind it. She turns around from the front seat to look at me.

“I feel the same as Dom,” she says, “I know that you can do it. You’re strong, and you have motivation. Just remember that we’ll be watching, and that you’ll never be further than a few minutes away from at least one pack member. When it’s time, you and your friends will be protected.”

I nod. “Thank you, Luna,” I say softly.

“Good luck,” she says, as I open the door, grab out my backpack, and shut it behind me. I stand for a moment, taking a deep breath. This is it.

She waits in the car, watching me as I start walking down the street towards the shelter. She’s probably tracking my movements on the app on her phone, too, watching as the tiny devices in my shoes notify her of my every moment. It is comforting, more than I thought it would be, to feel like I’m not as alone as I might seem.

It only takes a few minutes to arrive at the shelter and enter the front door. A young lady behind the desk in the lobby is looking at her phone, and says, “Can I help y -” then breaks off when her phone chirps, and she looks at a new text message. “Oh, hello!” she says, looking back up at me, “I’ve been expecting you!” She lowers her voice, and tells me, “I’ve spoken to Darlene, and she’s told me what we need to do. If you’ll just follow me, please.” I can tell from her scent that she’s not a wolf. I wonder how much she’s been told.

She takes me into a big locker room with benches and showers, and opens one of the lockers. “Here’s your clothing,” she says, “nobody but me has touched it, and I washed everything last night.” She points to some towels on a rack. “There’s towels, soap is in the shower. I’ll wait for you just outside.”

I look around the empty locker room and sigh. There’d be enough room for several people to take a shower, but I’m the only one in here. I put down my backpack, strip off my clothes, grab a towel, and enter the gang shower room, several spigots lining the walls, and start my transformation back into a rogue. Just a rogue. Not a guest in a packhouse. I turn on one of the spigots, and wash away any scents that might be lingering on me. A few tears swirl down the drain with the last trace of Evan’s presence.