Just a Rogue

Seth

I’m having a hell of a time maintaining control. I have to concentrate on what Xavier is saying, help plan tonight’s attack with him and Hugh. If Xavier gets any hint of what I’m thinking he’ll be furious and that could be dangerous for Corinne.

And for the baby. My baby. Our baby.

I am a complete tangle of emotions, and I am only keeping them hidden through extreme efforts. I try not to even glance to the back of the cave at her, because every time she crosses even my peripheral vision my heart starts pounding again. I can’t let Xavier know how hyper-focused I am on her at the moment.

I wish so much that she had not come back, even though this brings me the most amazing news I have ever heard. I’m glad to know that she is carrying my child. But why on earth would she return? Sure, it probably has been hard for her, to try to find resources, food and shelter. A lone wolf is always vulnerable. It is a terrible position to be in. That’s the whole reason that we band together, why we put up with Xavier’s dominion over us. There is security in numbers. So I’m sure that she was struggling, and she must have come back because that security was preferable to starvation and loneliness.

But Xavier is dangerous, totally aside from being a complete asshole. He is terrible to all the girls. She’s willing to put up with that, just for food and shelter?

Apparently.

There is the other thing she said, though. She said it wouldn’t be fair to keep the baby away from his father. I heard the double meaning in her words, even if Xavier didn’t. “His father.” Which one? She knows perfectly well that Xavier isn’t the only possibility. I don’t know if she realizes what I do, that the baby is mine. My awareness of her is so heightened, and I know that this is caused by the fact that my pup is in her belly. Xavier said that she stinks. He can smell the difference in her scent, but to me, it is so much more appealing.

It makes sense for the true father of a wolf baby to find the mother even more attractive, so that he will protect her. I know that she-wolves are nearly defenseless during pregnancy, since they can’t shift. So I suppose the goddess designs things so that the father feels compelled to protect the mother and baby. I remember hearing about things like this back while I was still in a pack, back when my life was more normal. It is one of the ways that wolves can be bonded together, although not as intensely as a mating bond. Just enough to assist with the procreation.

Does she know this too? Maybe she decided that, whether the father is Xavier or me, coming back here would ensure the protection of one of us? Is she hoping that I can protect her? From Xavier? How?

I have no idea how to do any of this, so I am going to just focus on the one thing that I can do. Xavier wants some of us to go into Arcata tonight to do some recon, figure out where pack members live, and if we have the chance, to do some damage. If we find any pack members alone, he wants them attacked if it is feasible. Even better, if any pack she-wolves are alone, he wants them abducted. He figures that they can be held as hostages, as bargaining chips, as a way to force the pack to back off and leave us alone. Possibly even obtain more concessions.

I don’t want to have anything to do with any of it. But there is something that I want even less. I see, throughout the discussion with Xavier, how his eyes return to Corinne over and over again, how his eyes gleam, how he licks his lips. He plans to use her tonight, it is completely obvious, and it makes me want to puke. I’ll never be able to watch while he violates her again. Even if I cover my head with a blanket, I’ll hear him grunting, I’ll smell their union, his scent will contaminate hers, and I will go completely mad.

So I tell him, “I’ll be on the recon team tonight. I can drive us down to Arcata. Who else do you want to go?”

He grunts and nods. “Good.” He looks around. “Hugh, do you want to do recon, or stay in the cave tonight?”

Hugh says, “I’d rather stay here. It’s been a long few days running as a wolf.”

“Fair enough,” Xavier replies. “Who do you suggest then? Two or three more.”

Hugh looks over the group. “Would you want Ruby to go?”

Xavier shakes his head. “No she-wolves. I’m going to use them to reward the men tonight. The men who are staying here. The others will get a turn tomorrow.”

Hugh’s jaw clenches, but I don’t think Xavier sees it. He’s staring at Corinne again, as she speaks quietly to the other girls towards the back of the cave, near the long tunnel heading off into the darkness. Hugh quietly says, “I’d send Wyatt. He stole Ruby’s kill today, that’s enough reward for him for one day. Let Landon stay here, I stopped him from stealing another of her kills. Send Blake too, maybe Finn if you want another.”

Xavier nods. “All right. I’ll tell them after dark. Grace says we have enough provisions here for a meal, everyone can eat first.”

Then he falls quiet, looking back over at Corinne. I force myself to remain outwardly calm.

Corinne

I can see it from the sides of my eyes, or out from under my eyelashes. I don’t look straight at Xavier, but I know he is staring at me. I feel his gaze upon me, almost as heavy as I know his hands will be later. This will be the hardest part. I have to endure it, but I have to also pretend to want it. Even to enjoy it. I know that once Xavier decides to grab me, I probably won’t be able to get away from him until morning, so I really have to find a way to talk to Lynette soon. But Grace is here, talking, listening, and I can’t say anything in front of her.

When Xavier calls her over, though, and tells her to start fixing a meal, I think this might be my opportunity. I think that Ruby realizes what I am waiting for, because she immediately gets up and joins Grace in the storage area, and offers to help.

Lynette knows too. She is so feeble, sometimes seeming barely conscious, the silver constantly poisoning her. But as soon as Grace and Ruby are gone she whispers, “What did you mean before, when you said that things might be changing soon?” Her expression is intense, hopeful. I think she realizes that I came back for more than just the baby.

I lean in, holding her, cuddling with her, looking like I am just trying to comfort her. It isn’t that unusual for us girls to cuddle up together. My lips are at her ear, and I breathe, as soft as a quiet breeze, “Don’t react to what I’m saying. Please, our lives depend on it. I came to warn the girls. To try to save you.” I glance over to Nova, who is clinging to Lynette’s other side, and her wide eyes meet mine. She heard that too - Nova has always had very good hearing.

I’m as sure as I can be that they will remain silent. I continue whispering, so softly that even I can barely hear it. “The pack is going to attack in a day or two. They agreed to save any she-wolf who submits to them immediately once the battle starts.” I don’t mention anything about trying to run away first. That is completely impracticable for Lynette and Nova, with the way that they are bound together. Their only hope is to submit.

“What do we do?” whispers Nova.

“Just wait. Cooperate with Xavier. Do whatever you’re told. Don’t make any trouble, don’t raise suspicions. Just wait here in the cave. Then as soon as the pack arrives, submit to them. That’s it. Be good and then submit.”

“All right,” whispers Lynette, painfully, and I can tell that she barely has the energy to respond to what I am saying. But I know she understands, and that she’ll gladly take this lifeline that the pack is giving her.

I have been very careful not to touch the collar around her neck, or the raw wounds it is causing along her throat. I don’t want to be burned either. But I wish that I could just give her a bit of relief, just take away a fraction of her pain. I sit up, lean over to inspect the collar, and decide what I am going to do. The collar has an inch or so of give between it and the surface of her throat, just enough for me to reach inside it, and shield a tiny bit of her skin from the damaging silver. It isn’t much, but it’s all I can do for her until the pack arrives.

So I reach towards her throat. “What’re you…?” she starts to ask, then breaks off with shock when she feels me insert my fingers between the collar and her wounded flesh. “Ahhh,” she breathes out, the relief she feels obvious, so I settle the fingers of both hands there, wrapping around the collar, giving her at least a few inches of relief.

I feel my own skin start to sizzle, the silver burning me, and I cannot imagine the agony that Lynette has borne, to be feeling this constantly for days, for weeks. It is terrible. My wolf leaps up in alarm, but refrains from berating me, because she understands what I am doing. She’ll be able to heal me as soon as it stops, we both know, but in the meantime I will just grit my teeth and bear this pain.

Nova stares at me, wide-eyed, shocked at what I am doing. Lynette’s eyes have closed, just for a moment, the relief so profound that she can’t speak.

Tears are streaming down my face, and I don’t know if it is more because of how much pain the silver is causing to my hands or because I realize that Lynette has been in this pain for so long.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Xavier’s voice sounds gruffly from directly over me, causing me to jump with alarm. It jerks the collar on Lynette’s throat, and she gasps, but I won’t let go.

I look up at Xavier, unable to wipe the tears away from my cheeks, my hands still protecting a fraction of Lynette’s skin. “I’m just trying to help her, just a little. She’s hurt so bad,” I say, afraid that we are all about to get beaten because of what I’ve done.

He scowls. “Let go of her,” he commands me, and I do it regretfully, and Lynette sucks in a breath as the pain increases. The instant I let go of the silver my pain recedes.

“Could you, maybe, just let her have it off for a little while?” I beg him, unable to stop myself. I shouldn’t be causing trouble like this, but I just feel compelled to try. “I know she won’t do anything bad,” I assure him, pleading with my eyes.

And Lynette does the unthinkable. She forces herself to her knees in front of him, lowers her head, and apologizes. “I’m sorry I’ve been so disobedient, Xavier. I promise I won’t try anything. I’ve learned my lesson. I’ll do whatever you say.” Then she lifts her head, leans herself back, and exposes her raw throat to him. It is the posture of submission, but it also reveals the raw wounds that the collar has caused.

“If you’re lying, you’ll pay for it,” Xavier snarls, and she nods, but keeps her throat exposed to him submissively.

“Seth,” he calls back. “Take the collar off.”

Hugh

Grace and Ruby bring food around to everyone, arrayed on paper plates, served almost as though this is a real dinner. It’s the first time we’ve done this in weeks. I look at my plate. Beef jerky, a protein bar, crackers, dried fruit. Not a ton of food, but sufficient to get a good night’s sleep afterwards. We all dig in hungrily.

While we are eating, Xavier tells everyone the plan. “I’m sending Seth, Wyatt, Blake and Finn into Arcata tonight. We need to start exploring the area more carefully, to see if the pack has any vulnerabilities. If they have the opportunity, they’ll inflict some damage on any lone pack members they find. If possible, take a hostage. We’re going to fight back against the pack, not let them deny us our right to exist. This is the best way to do it.”

The men nod in agreement. The women watch with more guarded expressions, probably wondering what this means for them. Xavier soon illuminates them. He looks around at the group. “Landon, you can have Ruby tonight.” Landon’s eyes light up at the unexpected pleasure. After denying him her kill today, I’m sure he thinks this is fair. I glance at Ruby, and see her nonchalant shrug. That’s the great thing about Ruby. She never fights, never argues. She’s able to simply go along with whatever seems to be in her best interests. I still remember her bringing me a meal earlier today, and appreciate that. I hope that Landon isn’t cruel to her tonight.

Xavier goes on. “Hugh,” he says, and I look up with surprise. “You can have Grace.” Oh. I glance at her, and she meets my eyes with a sad resignation. I know that she wasn’t running with us today. She probably enjoyed being with Xavier during the day, and had hoped to be with him again tonight. Obviously Corinne’s arrival has changed that. I’m not above taking advantage of the opportunity to be with Grace, but I’ll try to be gentle with her at least.

“Amir and Micah,” Xavier says last, “you can have Lynette and Nova. You’ll have to keep the cuffs on. But Lynette has promised to be good, haven’t you Lynette?” Everyone glances at her, sitting up and eating her meal, looking stronger now that the collar is off. To my surprise she lowers her eyes and nods submissively. I’m not sure I’d trust it if I was Amir and Micah. She’s just as likely to bite a dick off as really submit, so I’d be careful if I was them.

“And Corinne is with me,” Xavier states the obvious.

Andrew lets out a little sigh, and there are a few chuckles. He’s the only one being left out tonight. Xavier huffs out a very rare laugh, and says, “Grace, let Andrew have one of the bags of cookies.”

Well, at least it’s something.

We are all looking forward to the activities of the night.