Just a Rogue

Seth

Lynette slumps to the ground outside the cave, the silver collar draining her strength more every day, taking Nova with her. They sit together, leaning against a boulder, listening fearfully to the beating inside the cave. We can all hear the sounds of Xavier’s fury, and there is nothing to do but wait for the outcome.

Grace stands tensely right at the entrance, probably torn between obeying Xavier’s command to wait here, and rushing inside to intervene. She always tries to protect the other girls, and I know how difficult it is for her to passively await the outcome.

Nobody knows how hard this is for me. I clench my jaw, grit my teeth, and stand facing away from the others with my arms crossed. I’d walk away, but I am still holding Lynette’s leash and, even as weak as she is, she’d probably try to run if given the opportunity.

Each blow I overhear feels like it is landing on me, and I can’t stop myself from flinching. Hopefully the girls aren’t looking at me. I’ve seen lots of beatings with these rogues, administered by Xavier usually, but sometimes by the other males. Sometimes even by me, when I was ordered to do it. I’ve seen all of these women beaten, including Corinne.

Why does it hurt so much this time? Why did I know she was here a good thirty seconds before anyone else noticed? Why does she smell different - more delicious, more appealing?

As juvenile as it sounds, I know I have had a crush on Corinne for a long time, which was only heightened the one time that I managed to have sex with her back in October. Our secret stolen hour, our forbidden love that I would like to think she enjoyed as much as I did. We never talked about it again, of course, Xavier might kill us both if he found out. He’d definitely kill me. It was always very clear that Corinne’s use was off limits to any of the men. He kept that privilege to himself.

After that, I wanted her even more, she smelled sweeter, she looked lovelier, I was more enticed than ever. When she ran away in December, I felt utterly bereft, but nobody noticed of course. Xavier’s towering rage at her betrayal was the only thing that mattered.

After a couple of minutes of listening to the beating, which he gives her in silence, and Corinne endures in silence, she starts begging him again, trying to tell him something. This unleashes even more of his anger, and he screams “Why would you come back stinking like this?”

What?

Her scent has shifted a little, but stinking?

Then, when she explains, the truth strikes me like a thunderbolt. Everything becomes clear. Reality shifts.

I feel the acceptance of this realization. She is pregnant. Pregnant with a baby that makes her smell sweeter to me, makes her easier for me to detect, makes me feel closer to her.

Oh my god.

It has to be my baby.

Xavier must never know.

Grace

Poor Corinne. Poor child. Why did she come back? I thought she had made it, and I imagined her out in the world, hopefully finding a home for herself, making her own way. Away from us, away from Xavier, away from his constant obsessive abuse. And no longer between us. No longer in my way.

I stand with the others outside the cave, listening to everything, hoping that he isn’t murdering her. She doesn’t deserve that, even if she did turn him away from me, then foolishly return to him.

But then the confession, and the reason. The explanation. She’s pregnant?

Suddenly everything becomes clear to me. Of course! So much falls into place, so much makes sense now.

There is a full minute of stunned silence within the cave after she speaks, neither of them talking, but at least no more blows landing. Then Xavier barks out my name. “Grace!”

Instantly, I dive beneath the bush and roll into the cave. When I have moved down the incline to the cave floor I see her kneeling before him, looking up with a face streaked with tears and blood. My eyes aren’t yet adjusted to the dim light within so I can’t see all the details, but I see that she is alive, and conscious.

Xavier points to her needlessly, and asks me, “She says she’s pregnant. Can you tell?”

I nod and move closer to her, kneeling on the floor next to her. He wants me to examine Corinne, determine whether she is telling the truth. I am already sure that she is. I try to think back, and remember the last time that I saw her shift. I think it was at least a couple of months ago, probably in October. That was part of the reason Xavier was so angry with her by the time she left us, the reason that he beat her a couple of times. When she was supposed to shift and join the pack in a fight or a hunt, she failed to do it. Including that fight on the 299 back in December.

Not shifting is a clear sign of pregnancy in werewolves, but not the only one. During pregnancy a she-wolf is basically human, restricted to the human form, and the development of the baby is along the same lines as that of a human.

I brush my hands across Corinne’s face, wiping away some blood and tears. Her lip is bleeding, and I think she’ll have a black eye, but I don’t think anything is broken. Even while pregnant, a she-wolf will enjoy accelerated healing, so these injuries will be repaired soon.

“Are you okay?” I whisper to her, gently caressing her.

She nods, fearfully looking up at Xavier. He is looming over us, arms crossed, waiting for my diagnosis.

“When was your last period?” I ask her, but I already remember. I always track this for the girls, to make sure we have enough supplies for them.

“October,” she whispers, and I nod. I had noticed that she skipped her November period, but honestly irregularity isn’t that unusual for us, especially with the restricted rations that Xavier allows the she-wolves.

“I need to touch you, honey, all right?” I ask, and she nods again. I press my hands to her torso, feeling no swelling there, but then when I cup her breasts they are clearly enlarged. Everything indicates pregnancy so far.

“Slip off your jeans, dear,” I tell her, and I wonder briefly where she got the new clothing. She agrees, her eyes diverted to the side, not wanting to watch while I must violate her. I gently press her back, and insert my finger, checking the position and texture of her cervix. High and soft. I nod my head.

There’s just one more thing to check. I look to Xavier. “I need to shift, I need my wolf hearing.” He nods silently.

I quickly shed my clothing and shift to my wolf form, and Corinne leans back to allow me to place my big furry head on her abdomen, listening with my wolf hearing. And I hear it, the little fluttering, racing heartbeat of a fetus.

I quickly shift back and don my clothing, then I stand and quietly tell Xavier. “She’s telling the truth. She’s pregnant. I can hear the heartbeat of the baby. You must have gotten her pregnant back probably in October or maybe November. I think she’s a couple of months along.”

I keep my voice carefully neutral, even as this is tearing a hole in my heart. Corinne has given him something I never did, I never could, even though we have been together for decades. Through all the times I hoped, every month that came and went, all the disappointments to know that it hadn’t happened again. Eventually I lost hope.

And I think he did too, although he has never discussed this openly with me. I believe that part of the reason that he started keeping female rogues was in the hope that someday he might father a child, but it has never happened.

It isn’t particularly surprising. With the hard life, and limited diet, and being constantly on the move, pregnancy would be difficult. Werewolves are not particularly fertile in the first place, and many pregnancies are lost early on when the she-wolf finds it necessary to shift, which ends it. Xavier might have impregnated his girls before this, but the pregnancies never grew enough to be noticeable.

But for some reason, this time it has succeeded. I am happy for him, even as my heart is broken. It was the gift I wanted to give to him. But instead Corinne is the one chosen by the goddess to do so.

He remains silent for another minute, then extends his hand down to Corinne. She shrinks back for a moment, fearing another blow, but then sees he is only offering to help her up. She timidly puts her hand in his and he lifts her from the floor.

“Why did you really come back?” he asks. He is obviously still suspicious, but I already see the transformation in him. A layer of gentleness has descended, a consideration that I have scarcely ever seen in him. She has been able to bring this out in him.

She stands before him, her eyes cast to the floor. “Like I told you, I realized that the baby needs his father. It wouldn’t be fair to him for me to try to raise him alone. He belongs to you too.” Her lip quivers a bit. “And,” she admits, “I realized that I need you. I didn’t know where to go, or what to do. I ended up at the homeless shelter in Arcata, but it was just full of humans, nobody that could understand me.” She lifts her eyes to his, filled with tears. “I just wanted to come home.” Then she looks over at me, and looks into my eyes as she adds, “I missed you.”

I can’t help myself. I reach out to her, pull her into my arms, and give her a gentle hug. “We missed you too, sweetheart. I’m glad you came back. We’ll take care of you. It’s going to be okay.”

I feel her nodding against my neck. “Thank you,” she whispers.

Xavier sighs, and I hear in it the acceptance, the resignation, and I think just a tiny touch of hope. This is already changing him. He calls out, “The rest of you can come in now.”

Lynette and Nova come in, one after the other, still cuffed together, with Seth behind them. Seth nods at Corinne, then Xavier draws him off to the other side of the cave where they begin talking quietly, probably making plans. Corinne has no idea that she has come back into the middle of our struggle with the pack, chased to this cave by their claiming of our other territory. That threat is still looming, but Xavier and the men will be the ones deciding what to do about it.

The girls and I sit together. Corinne and Lynette meet each other’s eyes, and at the exact same moment they each say to the other, “Are you okay?” It breaks the ice a little, makes us all smile, and we start catching up.

“I didn’t know where to go,” Corinne tells us, “but I figured you’d get back here eventually, so I just decided to wait here. I’m so glad I didn’t have to wait long. I just got here last night.”

I look around with a smile. “I see that you were here long enough to clean up,” I point out. Corinne has always been very good about helping, cleaning and organizing.

She laughs and looks down. “I had to do something to keep myself busy,” she says.

It’s nice to have her back, she is such a sweet girl. I will keep my feelings of disappointment to myself. Xavier deserves the happiness that this will bring him.