Jinxed: Chapter 19
Everything I came in contact with, I wanted to break. I wanted to hurt someone. I wanted to do a thousand things I couldn’t do, and knowing I couldn’t do any of it made me even more angry.
I couldn’t remember the last time I had been this furious. Anger had been a close friend of mine after a few years trapped in the house. I spent my time in the basement, tearing those paintings that reminded me of Hannah to tiny shreds, tearing them some more, and then lighting them on fire.
I had given up everything I had ever known for a woman who never loved me to begin with, and I had never forgiven myself for it. So instead of trying to forgive, I got mad. Eventually, though, my fury subsided. Lucky for Luther, since it was long before he ever showed up. My anger had hardened into cool detachment. Emotions had only fucked with me before, and I wouldn’t give them the chance to do so again. Luther didn’t appreciate my “attitude” and was constantly trying to parent me, but eventually we found a rhythm that involved little interaction with each other.
And then Theo showed up on my doorstep. Numb, drunk, Theo, who couldn’t process a feeling to save his life. Seeing the pain he tried so hard to avoid only made me more emotionless, because I didn’t want to turn into him. I didn’t want to feel all those hurts again, the wounds I had long since stitched up.
But when Savannah arrived, fuck me if I didn’t throw all my hard work out the window. My feelings for her crept up on me, even though I had told myself they weren’t real. I had lain with her in bed at night, wondering how I had gotten so lucky, even in this hellhole. Only for me to find out her best friend’s family was involved in cursing me in the first place. There was no way she didn’t know, I thought, but she swore she didn’t. Now I was only confusing myself further. But I’d almost crossed the line by shaking her.
It’s why I had to leave the room, remove myself from the situation before the fury returned. As angry as I was, I didn’t want to hurt Savannah. Now I was away from it all, in my safe place, my heartbeat settling, my breathing returning to normal. I could almost think clearly again.
She banged on the door, calling for me, begging for me to open up. But my emotions were still raw, and I didn’t want to snap at her, or make the situation worse. Eventually I heard her slide down the door, coming to rest on the floor just outside. A few minutes later, Luther’s voice called her away, and for the first time I breathed a sigh of relief that she had more than just me to rely on.
I needed time to get my head on straight if I didn’t want to lose her.
What Savannah said made sense. Why would she have even bought the house if she had known about the curse all along? No one would choose this life for themselves. Maybe I had flown off the handle, just a bit.
Okay, more than a bit. I groaned, running a hand through my hair. Her perfect features shattered when I accused her, all because of my harsh words. What were the chances of her forgiving me? She probably hated me now. It was my own damn fault. I had given her all I had to give, and maybe it wasn’t enough.
Except, there was one part of me I hadn’t given her yet. And maybe, just maybe, if I offered it to her, she would forget all of my flaws. Or at least ignore them for long enough to realize there were some good parts to me, too. Parts of me I shared with the house, and never dared show Hannah. But Savannah…Savannah, I trusted.
I sprang to my feet, feeling better than I had all day. I wasn’t even worried about the what ifs when she discovered where I spent my days. All I was worried about was darling Savannah, and making sure I didn’t lose her. With my shirt straightened and my hair pushed off my face, I set out to find her.
Savannah was in her bedroom, sitting up against her headboard, watching the snow fall. Her hair was in a loose braid, secured with a tidy ribbon I’d found in the same closet as the dress I had given her. She had been so upset when her last hair tie had snapped. Seeing her wearing it now, even when I had been so horrid to her, made my heart beat like crazy. I knocked on her open door, and she turned to face me. Even with absolute hurt in her eyes, she was still stunning.
But I was here for a reason, and I needed to make amends. “Hi. Can we talk?”
She nodded, patting the space on the bed next to her. As much as I wanted to crawl into bed with her, I knew I’d be tempted, and sex was not going to help us solve our problems. I shook my head. “Actually, I was hoping you’d come with me for a minute.”
Savannah’s eyes widened. “Where are we going? I thought you didn’t trust me.”
“I do trust you. I trust you with my whole heart, darling.” I took a step forward, and then another, until I was sitting on the edge of the bed. I rested my hand on her shin, resisting the urge to slide higher. “I have a lot of things I’m still working through, even a hundred years later. None of them have anything to do with you, and I shouldn’t be taking them out on you. Please, give me a chance to make things right.”
Her curiosity was too strong to resist my offer, and we both knew it. “How?”
“Well…” I paused, loving the way she leaned forward. Her body language gave her away every single time. “How would you like to see where I spend my days?”
She pushed me off the bed in her rush to get to her feet. “What are we waiting for? Let’s go.” She flashed me a winning smile, and pulled my hand to the door.
I knew she wanted to know where I went. I had seen her following me, trying to sneak peeks. But I hadn’t been ready to share. Until now.
Hand in hand we walked to my private room, my sanctuary. I stood back when we reached the door, unlocking it and gesturing to her she should be the one to open it. The excitement radiating off her was palpable, and I wanted to bottle it so I could forever remember this moment.
Savannah opened the door and gasped. She took a step deeper inside, spinning around to take it all in.
I crossed my arms and rested against the doorframe, watching her surprise.
She turned back to me, eyes wide. “How the hell have you been hiding a greenhouse filled with orchids this whole time?”
“A conservatory,” I corrected, but I couldn’t help my smile. I gestured around to the ivy-covered glass walls. Even in the winter, the small amount of light filtering through the glass roof kept the room warm. “It’s a kind of courtyard protected by the house. Unless you know what you’re looking for, you won’t see it from the outside.”
“I just…” She walked up to the first wide potting bench, holding out her hand but not touching them. “They’re all so different from each other.”
I joined her, pointing out some of my favorites. “I have over fifty varieties here. It was supposed to be more, but obviously I couldn’t pay for the next delivery so they never arrived.”
Savannah bounced from bench to bench, examining all the different colors and shapes I had growing. Seeing her joy made me wonder why I had waited so long to share my secret. She had dozens of questions, and I happily answered all of them.
Finally she turned back to me, wrapping her arms around my neck. “Why didn’t you tell me before, Felix?”
I shrugged, stroking the small of her back. “When I first showed Hannah my original conservatory, at the old house, she laughed. She told me gardening–gardening orchids, no less–was a job for poor women. Not men of status like myself. So I hid it from her.” I gestured around the room. “But thank God I didn’t give up on it completely. This room saved me when I thought I was past redemption. It kept me going in the darkest of times.”
She kissed me softly on my lips. “Thank you for trusting me with this part of you.”
“You’re welcome.” I kissed her back. “I don’t think I’m going to lock the door anymore. You can come and spend time here whenever you’d like.”
“Can I show the others?” She grabbed at my hands, an eager excitement making me smile.
I wanted to say no, imagining Luther’s amusement and Theo’s mockery. But I couldn’t disappoint her, and somehow, the risk seemed worth it. “Give me one last night by myself in here, and then, yes, you can.”
“And will you bring one of the big chairs in here for me to read?”
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t push your luck.” Then I smiled. “Of course I will.” I loved the idea of her sitting in here, curled up in a chair with one of the old books sprawled in her lap while I watered and repotted. It almost felt…domestic. And the idea was nicer than I ever thought it would be.
She laughed, tossing her hair back over her shoulders. I couldn’t stop the words from leaving my mouth.
“I love you,” I whispered.
Savannah paused, pursing her lips. “Really?”
“I just showed you my secret greenhouse filled with orchids and you’re questioning my love for you?” I smirked.
“Conservatory. Your secret conservatory, filled with orchids.” She leaned forward, pressing her lips against my ear. “I love you, too.”
I pulled back, looking deep into those stunning hazel eyes. “Say it again.”
“I love you, Felix. Every damn part of you. The good, the bad, and the hidden orchids.”
Savannah was just so fucking pretty. I couldn’t believe my luck. How did she love me? Even after I had fucked up and accused her of horrible things. Fuck, I was fortunate. I walked towards her, forcing her to step backwards until her ass bumped up against one of the empty benches. I wrapped my arms around her waist, lifting her to sit while I stood between her legs. “I don’t deserve you. But I’m not one to be ungrateful.”
I kissed her hard and deep, converting every single emotion I had felt since she first walked into this house. The anger that she was going to step inside no matter what I did, and the discomfort of knowing she would be so close forever. The frustration of her personality, and the intense lust of just being close to her. It was a rollercoaster I never wanted to get off of. I squeezed her tight, until she sighed into my open mouth. My cock grew hard. With the way she moaned and rubbed against me, I knew she could feel it, too. I pushed closer, until nothing was separating us except for a few pieces of fabric.
She pulled away, to smile at me, and I knew I was done. She was it for me, forever–however long that ended up being. She pushed my jacket over my shoulders, and I undid my shirt buttons as quickly as my fingers would allow. Her shirt was next to come off, carelessly tossed over my shoulder. I couldn’t stop myself from dipping my head forward, taking one of her luscious nipples into my mouth.
“Fuck,” Savannah cursed, and I smiled against her breast. I knew all of her sensitive spots by now, how to kiss and lick different parts of her skin to make her moan and scream. I dragged my teeth over her raised nipple, enjoying the way her body arched into me, filling my mouth with her even more. “Are you going to fuck me, Felix, or just tease me?”
I laughed. “Hadn’t thought that far ahead yet. I was just taking my girl on an innocent tour of my conservatory, only to find out she’s an insatiable animal.” My hands traced down her bare skin, dipping beneath the waistband of her pants.
“You probably did this with all the girls,” she muttered, curling her hands around my shoulders.
“Just one, actually.” I lifted her hips up so I could shuffle her pants down. “The only one that ever mattered.”
Her pants fell to the floor. She watched me with love and curiosity as I slid my fingers between her legs, making sure she was ready for me. Lucky for us, the benches put her at the perfect height. I took my fingers away, slipping them in my mouth to taste her sweetness. Perfect, I thought. She was fucking perfect.
My cock replaced my fingers, nudging against her slick opening. “Lean back, darling. Let me take control.”
Savannah rested her back against the glass, leaving her body fully exposed to me. I grabbed the soft flesh on her hips and pushed my way in. She moaned, her legs flexing to grip my thighs. I grabbed her closer. Nothing had ever felt as good as being inside of Savannah.
I rocked my hips, thrusting into her with a slow ferocity. I wanted to be deeper, close enough that we were one person. She sighed my name as I fucked her harder, desperate to show her exactly what she meant to me. My hands dug into her tender skin, and I hoped they would leave marks for her to remember later. I wanted this memory to be seared into her mind, me fucking her in a conservatory filled with one of my greatest secrets.
“Oh fuck,” she muttered. Her legs pulled me closer, her hips rising up to meet every thrust. She had to be getting close to release, which was good because I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold back.
I leaned forward, my body rubbing against her clit as I drove my cock into her. Her pussy pulsed, her sounds incoherent. I kept my rhythm, staring at her. I wanted to watch her as she came, wanted to see her pretty face when she broke. She cursed, and all the tension left her body as she cried my name. Her face softened, a gentleness that wasn’t there all the time taking over. Her hair sprawled around her head, her body leaving a steamy mark on the glass.
The sheer perfection of the image, of this beautiful woman caving to my every demand and rule, had me rocking my hips harder, until her name was a growl on my lips, and my release spilled inside her pussy.
I wasn’t sure I would ever get used to how good it felt to make Savannah come–maybe even better than when I came myself. I wanted to stay like this forever, cocooned up in our secret that existed inside our forgotten world.
Savannah wrapped her arms around my shoulder, resting her head on my chest. For the first time in over a hundred years of living in this house, it felt like home. And it was all thanks to her.
I tucked a loose piece of hair behind her ear. “We should get you up to bed.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m not a kid, Felix.”
“Believe me, I know,” I whispered into her ear, enjoying the way she shivered against the words. I pulled back with a smile. “So, if you don’t want to go to sleep, tell me about Brynn.”
“You really want to know?” She squinted up at me, looking for a trick that wasn’t there.
I nodded. “Tell me everything.” I sank down to the floor, pulling Savannah to sit on my lap.
“Well, first of all, she saved my life.” Savannah took a deep breath. “My dad was all I had growing up, because my mom took off. When he died, I was alone. The day we buried him, Brynn invited me over for pizza and wine, but really she just wanted to keep me company.”
“Loneliness is scary,” I agreed, stroking the back of her hand with my thumb.
“So scary. But Brynn made me feel like I had someone to share my life with after all.” She sighed.
My heart ached for a Savannah I’d never known before. She wasn’t alone now, and I wanted to reassure her of that. I would. After. Right now, I needed to listen.
She curled against me. “I didn’t take much time off work when my dad died. I needed to get back to normalcy. I could afford one night of drinking though. We started talking, and she asked me if I could do anything in the world, what I would do?”
“And you said?” I was curious to this side of Savannah, and I wanted to eat up every bit of information she allowed me. I needed to consume her vulnerability, and help make her whole once more.
“At first I didn’t really have an answer.” She sat on my lap, quiet for a moment. “Brynn had this crazy idea she would live in a shack on the beach and own an ice cream stand. But the thing is, she would do it. Not much held her back. Next to her, I felt stuck. All I’d known was my dad, the diner, and dreams that never came to fruition. And sadness. I was really good at being sad.”
I was quiet, waiting for her to continue. I didn’t want to break the spell that transpired between us.
“Finally, I thought, if I could do anything in the world, I would be free. Not tied down to bills and a job I hated. Not stuck in an apartment I couldn’t afford. I would love every moment of my life, not constantly be looking for a way to escape.”
“Oh, my darling girl,” I murmured.
She shook her head. “Let me finish. Brynn pointed out all the things I did have. Her friendship. Drive. Determination. And the law of conservation of energy.”
Sometimes modern words were too much for me. Most of the time I just pretended I knew what they meant, but this felt important. “Excuse me?”
“Scientifically, it means energy can’t be created or destroyed. Only transferred. She meant just because my dad wasn’t here physically in his body anymore, he could still be with me in spirit.”
“Credence,” I offered. “She meant it as credence. Accepting something as true, on faith.”
Savannah spun around in my arms, looking up at me with wide eyes. “Exactly. I’d never thought of it like that before. So I started actively pursuing my dreams of owning a thrift shop. Every penny I had went into a coffee tin, savings that might take me years to accumulate, but I was determined. For the first time in my life, I had a goal. When the lawyer informed me my dad’s favorite uncle had passed away and left me an inheritance, I didn’t think twice. In my mind, it was the good energy I was putting out in the world finally coming back to me. Dad was looking out for me from beyond.”
I gave her a sad smile. “Except you ended up here.”
“Mmhmm.” Her full lips twisted into a wry grin. “At first, the curse felt like a horrible mistake. But the longer I’m here and get to know you three, I realize it’s the furthest thing from a mistake. It’s just the conservation of energy. My energy towards my dream wasn’t destroyed. It just turned into a different dream. One of love. Passion. Everything good this house had to offer. When you look at it like that, it doesn’t seem like such a mistake after all, does it?”
I kissed her on the head. “It makes perfect sense.”
And it did. Because for the first time since I had come into the house, I had a new viewpoint on why I was in here. A purpose for my entrapment.
I had credence. Savannah was both my truth and my faith.