Chapter 15
If hearing Dale’s voice had made Ivory’s heart pound, hearing her aunt’s nearly made her pass out.
Adam took the steps two at a time, slamming through her door and locking it behind him. He did not want Gabe to see her in this state. Nor would she want him too. It would only make him worry about her more.
Adam saw Snow trembling on the floor and swiftly walked to her. Without a second thought, he leaned down and picked her up in his arms. She leaned her side against his chest as the tears finally came rushing out.
All these years and she finally came close to her past.
Adam laid them both down on the bed and moved her next to his side. She turned and buried herself into him and cried.
“Shh. It’s okay. They’re gone. You’re safe now. They don’t know that you are here.” Adam whispered to her, trying to soothe her. “Ivory, no one will ever hurt you. I promise. I won’t let them come anywhere near you.”
At the sound of her real name, something she hadn’t heard in some time, Ivory rolled onto her back, putting a small amount of space between them. Adam gently wiped her tears off her face. His voice was softer, yet somehow still rougher than she had ever heard it as he continued to whisper assurances to her.
His finger didn’t just stop at wiping the tears. He slowly dragged it up and down the side of her jaw. The softness of her skin, the contrast of her pale to his tanned hypnotized him.
He wasn’t the only one. His touch was having quite the effect on Ivory. She’d always been well aware of Adam’s presence. This last week she thought she was going crazy. So many times, she felt him near but when she turned around, he was gone.
Now he was here, holding her, promising her safety, and touching her more than he ever had before.
“I won’t let them lay so much as a finger, or a paw on you, Ivory. I promise. No one will touch you.”
“What about you?”
His finger paused.
She hadn’t meant for that to come out of her mouth. Her voice had been as soft as the wind. She was too shy to say more, too embarrassed to shine a light on what she really wanted. On her heart’s true desires.
She held her breath and his eyes at the same time, worried about how he would react. When his fingers started moving again, she slowly let the air out.
Adam’s fingers traced up and down her neck, feeling it as she swallowed deeply. His eyes followed the movement of his finger as it continued to that thin strap holding her shirt up. His mind was lost once again, watching how easily her shirt moved when he pushed it. He was curious if the skin was paler where no sun could hit it. All of it was perfectly smooth.
The back of his knuckle continued in a straight path down, over the peak of the large hills on her chest. His knuckle grazed up and down until her body reacted, pressing outward, like it was beckoning him from inside the shirt.
Adam allowed himself to do what he had been dreaming about for longer than he cared to admit. Right there, right then he didn’t care about what he should or shouldn’t be to her anymore. He didn’t care about responsibilities or the fact that his brothers were out working in the field without him.
All he cared about was Ivory. Her fear, her comfort, the feel of her in his arms. How everything felt so right.
His finger followed the bottom rim of the tied shirt, all the way to the middle, giving it a gentle tug, loosening it. Not quite to the point that it fell away... yet.
Adam followed the middle edges up, moving it slowly from side to side, the buttons came apart as though they were never there. He moved it ever so gently until the pieces no longer covered anything.
Soon enough, his hand was taking what he somehow knew was his, and he gripped her. Adam’s eyes closed as he silently groaned. Out of all the touches, that one was his undoing.
When the smallest moan came out of Ivory’s lips, his eyes flashed back open again. He saw the way the corner of her lip slid between her teeth and her eyes were sliding to the back of her head. His hand stilled as he watched her face.
When their eyes met, he leaned closer, watching her eyes, waiting for her to stop him.
But Ivory was as lost to the moment as Adam was.
Then, ever so gently he pressed his lips to hers. One of Ivory’s hands slid into his hair on the back of his head and held tight, while her other hand spent time exploring his bare chest.
Without conscious thought, they both stopped being gentle in their touches, and let their long-ignored passion bleed out of them.
Adam released her lips but continued kissing down her throat. Ivory pressed her hands against his shoulders, and pushed him onto his back, rolling with him.
With his teeth, he pulled the shirt the rest of the way untied, completely releasing her from its restraints. As she fell out, Adam captured her in a way that freed up his hands. Which he slid down her bare back and onto her butt.
His wolf purred with the firmness they felt. She was soft in all the right spots, and firm in all the others.
Ivory gripped the back of his head again, holding him in place, gasping as his hands slid up and then down the back of her pants again, going inside this time. As they were already a bit big for her, the pants easily slid down to her thighs. Now all that was between them was his thin pants.
In one swift move, Adam rolled them over again, placing her under him, his lips crashing into hers again. Ivory reached down to release him from his prison, but he grabbed her hands and locked them over her head with one of his much larger hands.
With his free hand, he explored her body again, all the while pressing himself into her. He could feel the warm wetness of her need as she wrapped her legs around his waist and rocked her hips into him. Begging him to give them both what they needed.
Adam internally debated with himself, the need to be one with her, warred with what small bit of logic he still had.
He wasn’t completely aware of what his hand was doing until he felt something new, something that caused Ivory to moan and shake. Her hips moved faster against him, reacting to his fingers. When his name slipped from her lips, he reached inside his already slipping pants, thanks to her moving legs, and pulled himself out.
He hovered over her, looking down into her beautiful green eyes, both of them freezing for just a moment. Ivory gave him a soft smile, an unspoken answer to his unspoken question. He lowered and kissed her softly again. She spread her lips and hips at the same time, welcoming and encouraging him.
Adam slid his tongue into her mouth, while slowly sinking into her from below. The way was tight, something he assumed was natural since neither of them had done this before. He braced his knees into the bed, preparing to add pressure, his wolf oddly silent and peaceful. It was rare for him to be that way, something only Ivory could ever do to him. This was more somehow, like he was feeling the sun for the first time.
Adam began to slowly push in further, trying not to hurt this female who he had found himself getting lost to more and more every day. Finally, at that moment, he figured out why.
Clarity finally came to him. He knew why she did not feel like a sister to him. He knew why he felt so protective of her and needed her to be safe.
Ivory dug her nails into his arms, the deeper he went, the deeper she went. He kissed her jaw and up to her ear. He needed to say it, at least once. He needed her to know that this wasn’t just about using her.
“I love you, Ivory.” He whispered into her ear.
Before she could respond, his lips were on her’s again. He didn’t want to hear her response. He had a feeling he already knew what it was.
He also knew that it would make things ten times harder in the end.
Somewhere in the distance, he heard a door open, followed by half a dozen voices. Adam’s mind began to clear from the haze.
He knew he should never have let it get that far.
He knew he should have gone back to the field as soon as he made sure she was alright.
He knew he should stop and pull away.
He also knew that it was the only time he would ever be able to have her.
Ivory was a Princess and, one day, she would have her throne back. She had a royal mate waiting for her out there somewhere. He was nothing but a farmer.
He could feel his wolf grumbling at the conclusion he was coming to, but he also couldn’t argue with it. He was the one that regularly reminded Adam that Ivory was born to be a Queen, a Luna, to their people.
Adam could feel his heart ripping in two. Which drove him further into her.
Ivory didn’t like the desperation she could feel coming from him. She knew Adam well enough that it made her afraid of what would come next.
Moments later, Adam collapsed on the bed next to her. Perfect timing too, as one of his brothers started knocking on the door.
“We’ll be out in a minute. We had a visitor. I’ll explain when I come down.” Adam hollered back.
From the silence, he had a feeling it was Gabe. As long as it wasn’t Brian. He may be new to the wolf thing, but the smell in this room would be unmistakable.
He probably should change his pants before heading down as well. Just to be safe.
Ivory curled into his side, holding onto him for as long as she could.
“What now?” She asked him softly just in case anyone was still close by.
He sighed and rolled onto his side, pulling her against his chest tightly. He traced a finger down her cheek again, wishing he could do that all day, every day.
“Now we get dressed and go tell the boys what happened with the Queen. We will need to be on guard for the next week. We are not going to the market. We can’t take the chance of her eating your pie. If the Innkeeper could spot it, surely a family member would as well”
Ivory rolled her eyes and shook her head. “That’s not what I mean, Adam and you know it. What about us?”
Adam closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against hers. “There can be no us.”
Ivory sharply pulled away, her eyes wide. She had a feeling it was coming but that didn’t take the sting of disappointment away.
“But you just said...”
He covered her lips with his hand.
“I know what I said. And I meant every word. It doesn’t change anything though. I wish it did, Ivory. I really do.”
“But Adam, I lo..”
He pressed his whole palm against her lips this time. While a big part of him longed to hear her say it back, the other part knew better.
If he heard it, he would never be able to let her go.
“You are a Princess. You have a royal mate out there waiting for you. There can be no us. The kingdom needs you to take your throne back. I don’t know how. I don’t know when. But I do know that it will happen. I won’t stand in the way of your destiny, Ivory.”
He wiped a silent tear away from her cheek, then leaned in and kissed it. After placing one last kiss on her trembling lips, Adam got off the bed.
He pulled his pants back on and went out the door. With a quick stop into his room, he put on a clean pair, along with a shirt. He paused for one sadly short moment outside Ivory’s door on his way back down. He could hear the soft muffled sounds of her crying into her pillow.
He felt every tear she shed. And they felt like a thousand needles being pushed into his heart. She was hurting and it was all his fault.
Adam heard the laughter of the pups downstairs and forced himself to join them. It only took one look at his face for the laughter to stop.
“What happened?” Dean stepped closer and looked up the stairs. “Is Snow all right?”
Adam heard Dean sniff and saw him make a confused face. He couldn’t help but smirk.
Looked like he and Charles weren’t far off from shifting as well.
“She’ll be fine. She just had a scare today. I got back in time to intercept a carriage with a broken wheel. It turned out to be her Aunt and her advisor.”
The brothers all recoiled and gasped. Gabe started heading for the stairs again. Adam put up a hand to stop him.
“She’s all right. I promise. Just give her a few minutes.”
Gabe pressed his lips together and took in Adam’s clean clothes.
“I had to lay in the dirt, without my shirt on, to change the axle and wheel. Plus, that Queen is really creepy.” Adam gave a mock shiver, making some of them laugh awkwardly. He sighed as Gabe didn’t buy any of his dramatics. “Would I have left her alone if she wasn’t alright? Would I keep you from her?”
Gabe looked at him again, his face softened, then shook his head no and stepped back.
Dean was still close, noticing the change of clothes as well. He leaned in and sniffed again. Understanding dawned on his face.
Adam gave him the “don’t start anything” look and he backed off.
From the looks on Charles and Brian, he wasn’t the only one to figure it out. The difference? Charles was smiling, the “I knew it all along” smile. The other two, sadly, were not. They were confused and slightly disgusted.
The room was silent, the younger pups watched the older ones warily. They knew something was going on, but they were afraid to ask.
Adam finally broke the silence by changing the subject. “We aren’t going to the market this week. We’ve been doing well enough. Plus,” Adam couldn’t help but smile. “I may have overcharged the Royal dirtbags and changed an axle that didn’t actually need it. The coins are in the barn. Eric?”
“Yeah, I’ll grab it now.” He happily ran out of the house, grateful to get out of whatever fire pit they were standing in.
“Her aunt was headed toward the village. I don’t want to take any chances of her still being there. Nor do I want to leave Iv… Snow unprotected with her so close.” Hoping his brothers missed the slip up would have been too much to ask.
Brian opened his mouth to ask, but Ivory chose that moment to come down the stairs. She was dressed in a different pair of pants, and a shirt that had not been altered in any way.
The change was subtle, but those old enough to see it, saw it in the way she walked. The way she carried herself. The air of the Princess was back. Her back was slightly straighter, her head a little higher.
Three large scowls swiftly swung in Adam’s direction. They knew she was putting on a show to help her control her emotions. And they knew it was his fault.
Charles, for once, wasn’t smiling or whistling. He was ticked.
Gabe walked up to her slowly. The ice cracked just enough on her face that he relaxed and took her hand.
“Obviously I would not have been there. But my pies would have been. As Adam graciously pointed out to me earlier. If the Innkeeper caught it, so would she. I hadn’t had the chance to make too many of them. I guess we can have one for dessert tonight.”
Adam closed his eyes, trying to hide the pain he felt at her detached voice. He knew it was all an act, a way for her to go about life. Just as he was putting on an act for his brothers as well. When his eyes opened again, the scowls had disappeared. Now they were worried for him as well.
Ivory turned to go to the kitchen, her safe haven, taking Gabe and Fitz with her. Fitz was animatedly talking about the pie for dessert.
Eric sneezed, loudly, as he walked back into the house. He put the coins inside the purse bag they kept near the front door. At the next sneeze, they heard Ivory holler from the kitchen.
“Bath, now! Or the pollen will have you sneezing all over my clean house.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Eric said, sneezing again, as he made his way to the washroom.
“I have work to do in the barn. I’ll be back shortly.” Adam excused himself as he exited the house.
He should have expected the footsteps that followed him. He barely made it through the doors of the barn before the inquisition started.
“What the hell happened up there, Adam? And don’t say nothing. I can smell it all over both of you.” Brian half yelled at him.
“Same here.”
“Me too. Totally threw me for a loop at first.”
Adam leaned against the wall to one of the horses stalls and slid down to the ground.
“I screwed up. That’s what happened. I let myself relax for one minute, and I lost control. I lost everything.”
They carefully sat in a semi-circle around him.
Brian made a face of disgust. “She’s been like a sister for years though. That’s kind of gross, brother.”
Adam huffed and rubbed a hand down his face. “She’s never been a sister to me, Brian. Not once. I’ve avoided her as best I could. Which, I really sucked at by the way. A few days ago, I came back to check on her - it hadn’t set well with me knowing she was alone, with no one to run and get us if something were to happen - and she was wearing this... I don’t know what to call it.” Adam put his hands up to his chest trying to demonstrate. “She had the shirt all tied up on her... well, you know.”
The other three laughed and nodded. “Yeah, she’s always done that when she cleans. She said it was because the shirts were so baggy they would get in the way of the water while cleaning.” Charles shrugged like none of it had ever phased him.
Which was comforting to Adam, knowing he didn’t have to worry about them seeing her any other way than a sister to a brother.
“Always?” Adam asked.
“Pretty much, yeah. But like you said, you’ve avoided her.” Brian added.
“Huh.” Adam thought about that for a second before feeling grateful for all that avoidance. He would have been torturing himself a lot longer. Possibly her too.
“Anyway. I kept finding excuses to come back and check on her, telling myself that it had nothing to do with what I saw. Seeing her like that made it so much harder to be away from her. To even be near her and not touch her somehow. This whole week has been like that. Like a tug of war with my sanity.” He blew out a long exhale and leaned his head against the wall, looking at the ceiling.
“I promised myself this morning that I was not going to come back today, no matter what. Then my wolf about forced the shift. He felt something coming. He even came through enough to make me run faster than I ever have as a human. We got here just in time to see The Queen’s carriage. Only, I didn’t know it was her until she started talking about her mother’s pies. She smelled Ivory’s and was hinting at me to invite her to stay.” Adam scoffed. “Dale didn’t like that.”
Adam looked back at his brothers. “I think Ivory was right. I think they might be true mates.”
“Hold up.” Dean held his hand up. “When did you two talk about that? Especially with all that,” he waved his hand around in the air, “avoidance crap you were doing.”
Adam chuckled and scratched his jaw again. “Like I said, I sucked at staying away from her. Anytime she really needed me I was always there. Even after all these years, she still gets nightmares. I hear her crying and screaming in her sleep. So, I go in and wake her up. I eventually got her to open up and talk to me about them. Sometimes I hold her until she cries herself back to sleep. They don’t come as often anymore, but if she needs to not be alone, I go.”
“You fell in love with her.” Brian said simply and yet that short phrase carried the weight of the world.
Adam sniffed and blinked his eyes a few times. He was not going to cry. At least not in front of his brothers.
“Yeah, I did. Which I didn’t figure out until about an hour ago. When I found her crying and panicking in her room. She could hear most everything that happened. She recognized both their voices. I moved her to the bed and only meant to hold her until she calmed down again. That was the plan, I swear.” Adam’s voice cracked as he pleaded with them to understand that he hadn’t planned any of what happened.
“Alright, well we don’t need to hear the details of the next part. Did she come to her senses after and get mad at you or something?” Dean asked.
Adam shook his head sadly. “I wish that was the case. I knew this was it. I knew it could never happen again. I let myself have my moment of weakness. I told her how I felt. She tried to say it back. I wouldn’t let her.”
“Why?! You two have been dancing around each other for years! Why couldn’t you have just let it be already?” Charles yelled out, making the other three jump. He grinned. “Oh yeah, I totally saw it. I knew it and I saw it coming.” His grin slipped again. “I just didn’t see you being a pansy and backing out!”
“She is a Princess. One day, she will have to go back to that. She has a true mate out there. A royal one at that. One fit to be a King. I am nothing but a farmer. I will never be more than a farmer. Ivory deserves more than what I can give her.”
“But…” Charles began in a whine.
Adam cut him off with a look. They all knew how much he hated it when they whined. “But nothing. Think of the Innkeeper. He loved mom; still does I think. But mom met dad, her true mate. Ivory will too, one day.”
“What happened to calling her Snow?” Dean smirked, kicking Adam’s foot playfully.
“She’s always been Ivory to me. I called her by that when we were upstairs, and it seemed to calm her down. I realized it must have been weird to actually hear her name. It’s been years since anyone has called her that. Saying it out loud once was like opening the floodgates. It’s going to be hard to get back into the habit of calling her Snow again.”
The four brothers stayed in that barn talking, trying to cheer Adam up, until the sun went down.
Inside the kitchen, Ivory watched them follow Adam out to the barn. She felt like she was dying inside. She let herself have her moment of crying in her room.
Then this strange voice came into her head and helped comfort her.
Ivory had no doubts that Adam was her future, her present, her life. He just wasn’t ready to accept that yet. She had no idea if she would ever take her throne back. Whether she did or not, it didn’t matter to her. As long as she had Adam and the pups, she would be happy with anything.
That whole “just a farmer” business was a load of cow manure. Her mother had been “just the baker’s daughter” when she met the Prince. And Ivory’s mother was a wonderful Queen.
Ivory just needed to be patient and give Adam time.
Until then, she was going to do the best she could to not let him see how badly his distance was hurting her. Ivory knew that would just hurt him more.
Dinner that night was subdued. Everyone was lost in their own thoughts. Ivory had no doubts that Adam had told his brothers the truth while in the barn. They could probably smell it on the two of them anyway.
Ivory smiled to herself when she had a sudden memory of how Uncle Richard used to tease her father when her parents would come into the playroom. Ivory didn’t fully understand what he meant by smelling what they had been doing on them. Ivory had forgotten about that until this very moment.
It gave her a small bit of peace, being able to come up with a happy memory.
She felt a small pressure on her hand and turned to see Gabe giving her a questioning look. She smiled at him.
“It’s nothing. I just remembered something from when I was younger. It’s been a while since I could remember the good things.”
Gabe nodded once and turned back to his food.
Her eyes met Adam’s from across the table. She wished they hadn’t. His pain was as clear as hers was. She cleared her throat and stood up to start collecting dishes.
Instead of Adam jumping in and insisting on helping, Brian did.
Any doubts on whether they knew flew out the window.