It'll Come Naturally

"Gerard, I am sorry. But I have to tell you that after I met my husband, I finally came to know what love meant. The affection I had for you was the naive emotion of a little girl who was too young to know what love was. What we shared was not about true love. I know you might feel hurt by my saying that, but it is the truth. Please, please don't expect anything else from me. It will never work and won't be worth it. This is what I told you before in Paris too. We can only be friends." This was Leena. She never offered hope to others where there was none. Any false hope would only wound him even more. When it was time to be hard and straight, Leena knew how to be so. A short moment of pity would deepen the hurt in future. It was better not to have such pity at all.

"You're very cruel, Mignonne. You already know why I am here. Yes, I came here for you, only for you. But even before I could open my mouth, you've sentenced me to my death." Gerard forced a bitter smile. His young and handsome face was marked with sadness. Yes, he had made a wrong decision at that time, but how it could morph into such an impossible situation? He didn't only lose her, he also lost his first love. He was in deep remorse.

"I apologize, Gerard. This is the best response I can give you. We cannot turn back the clock. Even though you're reluctant and unwilling right now, you must admit that what's gone is gone. Gerard, I am married, and I love my husband. I believe I have told you this before. And you must let me go and let yourself go too. Your dream girl is out there waiting for you, and it's not me. She's somewhere in the world and you need to find her. I hope you get what I'm saying. Don't pursue something meaningless. It will only make you sadder and you will gain nothing." Leena was very perceptive about life. She was mature in her views unlike most people of her age and had no problem uttering this philosophical advice to Gerard. She only wanted to help him out.

"Mignonne, I know what you mean. But I cannot tell myself not to miss you. Can I ask you something again? Is he... is your husband really so irreplaceable to you?" Gerard still did not want to give up. He had given up easily before and had regretted it for too long. This time, he made sure to try. Even when Leena spoke so ruthlessly, his love persisted in his heart. It was the only desire he had left.

"When you ask me this question, it proves that I'm not as important to you as you want to believe. I am just a desire in your heart. I'm not your love. In some time, when you lose this feeling of desire, I will become nothing in your eyes, and nothing in your heart. I would become the one replaceable." Gerard was just like how she used to be before. He was young and this was only an impulse. When he got out of it, it would mean nothing to him.

"Mignonne, please don't doubt my love like this. I find that I don't understand you anymore. All your thoughts and words are beyond what I knew of you before. It's a bit panicking. I feel like I'll always feel this way." Gerard took a big gulp of wine from his glass, but the alcohol did not ease the biting pain in his heart. Why was it that each time when he wanted to hold her, he seemed to push her away even more?

"It is not a simple thing to understand a person. Just like Rome was not built in a day, you need to spend a lifetime knowing a person well. Don't be so upset. It just proves that I am not the book you want to read." Leena felt a bit exhausted. She was not a meddlesome person by nature. If it was not because that Gerard had never rousted her, she would never spend so much time helping him figure this out.

"I know. It is so kind of you to say this to me. Don't worry. I promise I won't get involved in your life. It is fine that you don't love me now, but please, don't deny my love for you. Don't deprive me of the right to love you. Just please, don't be so cruel to me. Just like you said earlier, the happiness I want can also be simple. As long as you look at me and smile, I will be satisfied." Gerard closed his eyes. This was a pain that could not be described in words. He was in love with her but had to bury his love deep in his heart. He had to pretend he was fine just being friends with her. Otherwise he would not get the chance to be near her.

"Gerard, you don't need to be like this. You know, in my mind, you are always so elegant and unconventional. Acting like this is totally not your style. You were like a young prince in France. Why waste your precious youth on me?" Leena swallowed and furrowed her brows. At the same time, she laughed at herself silently, feeling somewhat helpless. She found that she was not a good guide after all. Instead of things getting solved, they had turned an irreversible tide. The whole situation made her feel frustrated.000