SWNOVELS Irresistible: Chapter 27
I kept my head down as I hurried through the barn, which hummed with the happy noise of a wedding reception—the band playing up front, the clink of silverware on glasses, the laughter and chatter of the guests. With tears continuing to fall, I blindly made my way to the back of the room and hunted for April. Spotting her over by the cake table, I headed in that direction.
“Hey,” I said, tapping her shoulder.
“Hey.” She turned and gasped. “What’s wrong?”
“I need to leave. Do you have enough help the rest of the night?”
“Of course. Are you okay?”
I shook my head and tried to choke back the sobs that threatened to erupt. “Mack broke it off.”
Another gasp. “Why?”
“He had a lot of reasons, but I don’t really want to talk about it right now.”
“Okay. I understand.” She gave me a hug. “Go cry it out. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Thanks. Make an excuse to Mom and Dad for me, okay?”
“Sure. I’m really sorry, Frannie. I know how you feel about him.”
I couldn’t even talk anymore, so I just nodded and walked away, my chest aching and my throat tight. After grabbing my coat from the back office, I stuck my hands in my pockets and walked along the pathway from the barn to the inn, crying openly.
When I’d gotten dressed tonight, I’d been so excited. So hopeful. So happy.
How had everything gone so wrong so fast?
The next morning, I woke up to the sound of knocking on my apartment door. I reached for my phone to check the time. To my surprise, it was after ten already. I never slept this late, but then again, I’d barely slept at all.
Dragging myself out of bed, I wrapped my bathrobe around me and stumbled for the door.
“Yes?” I croaked before opening it. My voice was hoarse from crying and my eyes still stung.
“Hey, sweetie. You okay?” The voice was Chloe’s.
I opened the door and saw her standing there with two cardboard coffee cups in her hands. “I take it April told you what happened with Mack.”
“Yes, but only me. Mom and Dad think you weren’t feeling well, which freaked Mom out, of course, but then I told her it was just cramps.”
“Thanks. Come on in.”
“You look terrible,” she said, kicking the door shut.
“I feel worse,” I assured her, heading for the couch. I flopped onto it and curled into a ball, wrapping my furry blanket around me.
“So do you want to talk about it?” She sat next to me and set one cup on the table. “That’s for you.”
“What’s to talk about?” I set my chin on my knees. “He doesn’t want me.”
“No. I don’t buy it. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, I’ve heard the way he talks about you. The guy adores you.”
“Not enough,” I said, feeling my throat get tight again. “He said things were moving too fast and it was making him feel bad. He hated all the sneaking around, but he didn’t want to tell the kids.”
“I don’t get that.” Chloe frowned and shook her head. “I could see if you were some strange woman he met at a bar somewhere that he wouldn’t want to bring you around his kids too soon. But he’s known you for years. He’s known this family forever. And his kids already love you.”
“I think that’s part of the problem.” I took a shuddery breath. “He’s afraid they’re too attached to me.”
“How is that a problem?”
“It wouldn’t be if we wanted the same things in the future. But he claims he’s never getting married again and doesn’t want more kids.”
“Are you okay with that?”
“I don’t know. I mean …” I sniffled. “Not really. I do want a husband and kids of my own someday. But it’s not like I need them tomorrow! Why can’t we see where this goes? Why does he have to freak out now?”
“Maybe he doesn’t want to lead you on. Or lead the kids on.” Chloe sipped her coffee and shrugged. “I mean, let’s say it goes great for a year, and you start to get dreamy about a diamond ring and a big white dress. Then what?”
“Then we could talk about it,” I snapped, annoyed that my sister would see his side.
“Okay, let’s say you talk about it and he stands firm. There will be no second Mrs. Declan MacAllister. Then what?”
I struggled with it. “I don’t know. Why can’t he just love me enough, goddammit? And why are you on his side?”
“Oh, honey, I’m not. I think he’s crazy to give you up. I’m only trying to help you see it’s not that he doesn’t feel what you do. But he’s older and he’s been through a lot more. He’s not looking at this the same way you are. And he has a lot more baggage.”
“I know. Just forget it. It’s hopeless.” Dissolving into tears again, I tipped sideways in my faux fur cocoon and put my head in Chloe’s lap. “It was hopeless from the start.”
She stroked my hair and let me cry, but she didn’t tell me I was wrong.