Iridescence

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

ELIZA

I didn't want to get up that morning. If I did, everything would become real. I knew my mother was dead, but attending her memorial was different from simply knowing she was gone.

Krissy gently coaxed me out of bed. I went through the motions on autopilot, showering, getting dressed, and accepting a bit of cereal from Abby that I don't remember eating.

Hecate and Hades, disguised as funeral directors, had planned the memorial for me, handling the details and trying to come up with something I'd approve of. I was blown away by that kind gesture. As we arrived at the funeral home, I took them aside.

"Thank you for this," I said. "I didn't even know where to start."

"I was very fond of Kleia, Eliza," Hades replied. "That alone is reason enough for me to assist you. Besides, death is my specialty, and I rarely get the opportunity to wear a suit." He offered me a slight smile.

"I guided her soul to the Underworld," Hecate added. "I sensed she was lost and needed help. She is safe now."

I fought back tears. "Thank you," I said softly.

"Go inside now," Hecate said soothingly.

I walked into the room where there would normally be a viewing. My mother's body was still in the Medical Examiner's office. I'd decided it was best to hold her service quickly and bury her later, privately.

Instead of gathering around a casket, a beautiful portrait of my mother was at the front of the room. The portrait was surrounded by other smaller pictures from our home. There were a lot of pictures of her alone or with her friends. There were several of her with her parents. There were a couple of pictures of her with me. For obvious reasons, no pictures of her with my father had been included.

As people started to come in, Krissy took my hand and refused to let it go. Abby stood with us, trying to keep me from getting swarmed by the mourners who had come out to remember my mom. The other girls from Iridescence came to support me. They stayed within my sight without coming too close. Apollo had come with Hermes. Artemis was outside with some of the deities watching for trouble.

Addison had come as my social worker. She sat with Vanessa and a boy I assumed was Billy, but she watched me closely, waiting for any sign that I needed help.

A sea of "I'm sorry for your loss" washed over the room, one face blurring into another, all saying the same cliche words and phrases until they became meaningless.

After an hour of friends, acquaintances, and strangers parading their way through the room, all focused on me, I couldn't take it anymore. Kids who'd never spoken to me in school had shown up just to watch the circus. They knew my mom had been murdered and that was exciting, so they suddenly wanted to talk to me. Their condolences were clearly an afterthought, something they knew they were supposed to say in these situations even though they hadn't known either of us. I was becoming extremely overwhelmed.

"I need a minute," I told Krissy and Abby. I slipped away while they distracted everyone else.

I raced to the farthest room I could find, where no one was hanging around. I pressed my back to the wall and started to cry as I slid down to the ground. I hugged my knees to my chest and tried to calm down, but it was no use.

Someone came into the room after a couple of minutes. The person knelt beside me, keeping a bit of distance between us, and passed me a box of tissues.

I blew my nose and looked up. "Leo," I said softly. I wasn't surprised he'd come. Most of his friends had at least put in an appearance, including Kevin. I didn't trust most of their motives, but Leo and I were friends. I didn't mind his presence.

"I won't ask if you're okay, because you can't possibly be," Leo said gently. "I also won't say I'm sorry for your loss, because I know how meaningless that phrase becomes in situations like this. I will say that I know how much this kind of loss sucks, and I understand it's complicated. If you want to talk, I'm here, but you don't have to."

"Thanks," I replied softly. "For all of that." I considered his words. "You said you know about this kind of loss... What do you mean?"

Leo hesitated for a moment before shifting so he was sitting next to me. "My mom died when I was eight," he explained.

"Leo, I... I didn't know," I said, stopping myself from saying I was sorry.

"I don't like to talk about it. She had some mental health issues, you know? I didn't completely understand how bad it was for her because I was so young. One night, I went to sleep. I woke up and she was cold... And her wrists were bloody."

"Oh Gods... That's horrible! You found her?"

"Yeah. My dad was out of town on a business trip." He sighed before adding, "Like I said, I understand complicated grief."

"How am I supposed to deal with this?" I asked. "Everyone keeps staring at me. I've always been invisible, and I was fine with that. Now, I'm just the girl whose father murdered her mother in front of her!" I started crying again. "I don't know how to do this. I don't know what I'm supposed to be now. I... I'm lost, and I'm broken, and I just want the entire world to go away for a little while and leave me alone so I can figure this all out."

Leo gently wrapped his arms around me. "Eliza, you don't have to be anyone except you," he said soothingly. "There's no right or wrong way to do this. You just... Do it. You exist. You go through the motions. You figure it out along the way... And you lean on the friends who understand... The ones who don't expect or demand anything from you."

I nodded and blotted my tears away with a fresh tissue. "Thank you, Leo," I said softly. "That actually helped."

"No problem," he replied. "I know you'd do the same for me."

"I should go back, right?"

"You should do whatever you need to, Eliza. Don't worry about anyone else."

I managed to offer him a sad smile. "I'm ready... I think."

He stood up and helped me to my feet. We walked back to the main room together. I gave Leo a final hug before heading inside.

I was a little bit calmer. More importantly, I felt like I was strong enough to finish the memorial service.

I didn't speak. Public speaking gave me severe anxiety, and speaking about this would have been a million times worse. Instead, I let my mother's friends give eulogies. I tried my best to listen, although I tuned out a few times. I decided not to be too hard on myself for that. Leo was right; I had to handle this in whatever way I needed to in the moment.

I felt a gentle hand land on my shoulder as people started to leave. I knew who it was without turning around.

"Thanks for coming," I said softly as I faced Apollo. I buried my face in his chest as he held me, crying yet again. This time, the tears were different. I felt like they were healing a small part of what had broken inside of me.

"Where else would I be?" Apollo replied softly. "I'm here for you, Eliza. No matter what."

I nodded, still clinging to him as he gently stroked my hair. I stayed like that until my mother's closest friend approached me.

"Eliza... May we have a moment?" She asked.

"Of course, Violet," I replied. I followed her away from everyone else.

"I have something for you," Violet replied. She pulled out a manilla envelope.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Your mother's will... She left it with me and said to give it to you if anything happened to her."

I stared at her in shock. "She was worried?" I asked.

"Yes, I'm afraid she was. There's also a letter she wrote for you. Read it alone, Eliza. She was very firm about that."

"I don't understand..."

"You will, sweetheart." Violet hugged me tightly. "If you need anything, call me... And be careful, Eliza." She released me.

When I returned to the main room, everyone had left except for Abby, Apollo, Addison, Billy, Lucky, and the girls from Iridescence. Billy, Abby, Addison, and Apollo stood near the exit, giving the rest of us some space. I spotted my new bodyguards, Della and Darrell, waiting just outside of the funeral home.

"Are you okay, Eliza?" Jenna asked gently.

"Not exactly," I replied, "but I'm trying to get there."

"Take your time, Liz," Krissy said.

"Says the girl who's always rushing," I replied with a sad laugh.

"We can meet up in our dreams later," Vanessa offered. "You don't have to be alone."

"I appreciate that, Vanessa, but I think I need to spend some time in my own head so I can process all of this."

"If you change your mind, you know we've got your back," Faith said.

"I know. Thanks, guys..."

Lucky hugged me. "You'll get through this," he said. "You're stronger than you think you are."

I nodded at him, not sure what to say. I didn't feel very strong, but his words were still comforting. If nothing else, Kleia found Ly comforting, and it seemed to have carried over to me.

"Eliza..." Emily said softly. She didn't say anything else, but she hugged me, and I knew she understood exactly what I was going through. I hugged her back tightly before silently releasing her.

Finally, Apollo came over and gave me another hug. He kissed my forehead. I kissed his cheek before forcing myself to let him go.

I was numb again as Abby took me and Krissy home. When we got upstairs, I was ready to head straight to my new room, which had previously been the guest room. We were slowly bringing my things over, but it still didn't feel like it was mine yet. This house had been more of a home to me than the one I grew up in, but I was still trying to process the fact that I actually lived there now.

"You can crash with me again," Krissy offered.

"I might," I said, "but there's something I need to do first."

"Are you okay?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "I need to do this alone, Kris, but I promise I'll tell you everything after."

"Okay. If you need me, I'm right down the hall." She smiled at me before letting me walk away.

I entered the room and sat down on the bed. With trembling hands, I opened the manilla envelope and pulled out the letter, not caring about my mother's will for the moment.

Eliza,

If you're reading this, what I fear has come to pass. I'm sorry I left you. I never would have done it of my own free will.

I know I haven't been the best mother to you. Please know that I loved you very much, but circumstances demanded I keep you at a distance. Your father is not the man he appears to be, and I had to keep him focused on me to protect you.

You may wonder why I didn't just leave him. There are a lot of reasons, but the biggest one was that I knew he would come for you. When I was pregnant with you, I had a vision, which probably sounds insane to you. I'd never had one before and I haven't had any since. What I saw terrified me, and I didn't tell anyone.

You're a very special girl, Eliza. I believe it was your vision I saw. You will grow up to be extraordinary, but your father will turn on us when you discover this. He will try to take you from me and bring you to a very evil man. I cannot and will not allow that to happen. If it comes down to it, I will fight. Your father is very dangerous, but I saw what will happen if we run... You will die before you can come into your destiny. I have to see this through.

The world needs you, Eliza, but there are many dark forces at play. Be careful who you trust. The threat is closer than you think.

I love you, Eliza. You are so much stronger than you know. Remember that. In their darkest hour, you will lead everyone to the light. Be brave, my little girl... Be safe, and be strong.

Love,

Mom

I stared at the letter in shock. "She knew..." I whispered. "She knew, and she stayed with him to protect me..."

I cried for a moment alone before preparing to face this latest twist in my life. I stood up, put the letter back in the envelope, and walked down the hall to Krissy's room.

She opened the door before I could even knock. I walked into her room and sat down on her bed. Clutching the envelope, I said, "Okay, Kris... We have a lot to talk about."