INSIGNIAS: THE ABECEDARIANS

She hated stormy weather. It always reminded her of a tragic incident. But no one knew this. No one asked how she was after that day. She didn’t mind because she would have hated it if someone knew her fears and nightmares. People would only use them against her then use her for their benefit. Now, as she sat alone in a squat position near the entrance of the almost empty room, she continued to stare at the dark sky and pouring rain. The wooden sliding door connected the martial arts practice room to her personal garden. Every struck of lightning was a switch button in her memory but she tried not to flinch as past images haunted her. Those images were reminders of what her family lost.

And for Aria Alexander, she won’t be as stupid to do the same decision as those people. Just one minute more. The fifth lightning struck and she closed her eyes, trying to erase the images from her mind. It was a training for her to overcome her fears but it wasn’t enough to completely forget the things she wanted to forget.

She opened her eyes and stood up. She turned and walked towards the end of the room, towards another wooden sliding door. Before she slid open the door that connects to the room to the hallway, she took one last glance at the cabinets of martial arts weapons, her eyes lingering at the two katana on the upper shelf. She opened the door entering the hallway which passes through the main chambers. As she walked towards her room, she removed her braid to let her long and wavy red hair loose. She was the only red hair in the family, something that made her cousins bully her in childhood, so she didn’t particularly like it. When she passed the family room, her nails dug on her palms. She silently wished that she won’t see them even if she knew that she will have to face them, eventually. And she wasn’t surprised when she felt a presence behind her. Not interested with whatever the person’s going to say, she didn’t turn.

“You don’t even look at me now?” the person mocked then snickered.

“I don’t have to. What do you want?” Aria stared at the long hallway towards her room.

“Nothing. I’m bored so – “

“So you wanted to bother me,” she completed his statement. He laughed loudly. Then she heard and felt him move until he stood in front of her, his black vest directly in her line of sight.

“What’s wrong with that? We are family!” This made Aria looked sternly directly in his eyes. Her brow deeply furrowed. Patience… He flinched when their gaze met.

“Do you see me as a family?” Her teeth gritted as she spat this in his face. “If you can’t act like a decent person, don’t ever bother me again, cousin.” After saying this, she walked around him and into the hallway.

“Just remember this. You are the reason why he died so don’t act like nothing happened!” Aria didn’t stop to respond. She knew the truth so she didn’t need to defend herself. No, your families caused his death. She rounded the second corner and opened the only door. She closed the door and rested her back on it. Just talking to Jaden made her tired, how much more if she saw everyone later? She sighed, exhausted, then walked inside her closet to change from her training uniform to a simple shirt and jogging pants. She was sitting on the chair in front her desk, reading a letter when someone knocked. She quickly closed the brown paper then slipped the stack of papers into the book on her desk.

“Who is it?” she asked.

“Your clothes for tonight is here,” the maid replied on the other side. Another reminder that she needed to face the whole family. She opened the door and scanned the white cocktail dress. The maid was also carrying a white paper bag with a shoe box in it. Her chest tightened.

“Thank you,” she told the maid then grabbed the hanger and paper bag. Once the door closes, she unceremoniously threw them on her grey bed. I don’t want to go. She continued reading and answering her textbooks. She was home-schooled her whole life and never experienced going to school. It was her grandparents’ wish, which she complied with without complaints. Noon came and she ate alone. Her grandparents were busy preparing for the banquet. At exactly four in the afternoon, the maid knocked again on her door, reminding her that the makeup artist will come soon. Groaning, she arranged the mess on her desk then took a long shower. She needed it in order to relax before facing her relatives. She knew that they will try to get on her nerves again. Hoping that her cousins won’t make a noise or mess in front of their parents, she left her bathroom then faced the white knee length dress.

“There you are!” Aria quickly turned towards her door, her fists raised. Her body visibly relaxed when she saw Avery, the makeup artist, beaming at Aria.

“Relax, dear,” Avery said in her high pitch voice. “You have a lovely red hair.” She swiftly moved behind Aria then combed her hair with her fingers. Aria didn’t move or speak. She wasn’t used to compliments nor intimacy with people.

“Let’s blow dry your hair first!” the makeup artist squealed. After an hour, Avery was finally finished with her. Aria was getting impatient not moving and just staring at the makeup artist’s face. Her long straight hair was curled at the ends. She asked to make her makeup light and natural because it felt heavy and itchy on her face.

“There! Now the dress!” Another squeal. Avery helped Aria put on the dress. It was a plain white dress, just how she like it. No beads. No prints. Two ribbon laces were attached above to hold the dress in place. Avery moved behind her then pushed her hair in one side. Aria felt the lace on her neck.

“There. A perfect ribbon,” Avery commented. She grabbed the red three inch heels in the paper bag then placed it near Aria’s feet. She moved into them then faced her long mirror. She looked so different from the Aria who wears martial arts uniform and uses swords. This girl in the white dress that tightly hugs her breasts and waist and flows from waist down is not Aria but Lasiandra, the girl her grandparents raised and the girl her relatives only acknowledged whenever they’re in public. The girl who will do want they want when they want. She only appears in family gatherings and public events. Lasiandra is a girl who dresses prettily, smiles prettily, and speaks prettily.

“You look extremely beautiful,” Avery whispers behind her.

“Thank you for your assistance,” Aria responded, the first time she talked throughout their interaction. But she meant every word. The makeup artist gathered her things then bid her good bye. Aria checked the time and frowned at it’s already 20 minutes before six in the evening. The event will start soon. On cue, someone knocked on her door.

“I’ll be there in a minute,” she said. When she opened her door, two maids were waiting outside. I can walk there on my own. I’m not going to run. She locked her door and put the key in her purse, then swiftly walked towards the back door of the house. Aria made it to the large garden without facing anyone but every step increases her nervousness. She saw that all tables were occupied by guests and all her relatives were present. They couldn’t see her because they were busy chatting and flirting. Aria was still on the top of the stairs when her grandparents noticed her. Her grandpa nodded, indicating that she should come down. But she didn’t want to use that stairs because of the spotlights. Her grandfather’s intense gaze made her grit her teeth. She won’t stand a chance.

Aria moved from the shadow to the spotlight, stepping down slowly and carefully. She held her head up, eyes focused behind the people, something she always do whenever she’s in the limelight. She wasn’t even on the fourth step when one by one, people’s eyes turned to her. Swallowing a lump forming in her throat, her eyes fell on her grandparents, watching her like hawks. Their eyes were telling her not to embarrass them. She didn’t want to. Among her family, her grandparents were the nicest to her even if they wanted her to be a perfect princess.

She reached the landing then made her way towards the host and hostess of the evening, a huge smile was plastered on her face. This earned an accepting nod from her grandfather and a relieved smile from her grandmother, who were wearing their best expensive clothes.

“Ladies and gentlemen, our eldest granddaughter, Lady Lasiandra Alexander,” her grandfather announced using a microphone. The guests clapped but their relatives glared at her. You won’t make me bend. Not this time. She didn’t want to be here but she won’t give them the satisfaction if she wasn’t. When her grandparents left to attend to their guests, Aria sat alone in their table, eating a red velvet cake. After two hours and dinner, the guest left to move to another garden down the steps. There was a fountain and maze there that fascinate people. Finally! She was getting bored of watching people dance and holding conversations with people she doesn’t know. A majority of the guests approached her and opened conversations, which she faced politely and professionally with sweet smiles. Her grandparents guided the guests, leaving her with their close relatives standing a few feet from her table. Soon... Her hunch was right because she noticed nine individuals making their way towards her. Sighing, she didn’t catch their gazes and finished her cake.

“Hi, cousin,” he greeted with bitterness. He seemed to be unsatisfied with their conversation earlier. Multiple scoffs were heard. Aria grabbed the white cloth on the table then pat the skin surrounding her lips.

“Yes?” she calmly asked as she glanced up.

“What’s your problem?” a chirpy voice blurted.

“You’re such a rude child,” a woman hissed.

“She wasn’t raised right,” someone whispered but she heard it.

“How is she related to us?”

“Mom and dad should know about it.”

“Doing any of these won’t change your situation, girl,” said someone with a deep voice. This made Aria looked up. Their eyes and faces showed annoyance, anger, and disgust. But what she saw didn’t affect her.

“These?” Her face was expressionless. The girls in yellow and pink dresses had their hands on her hips, eyes narrowing, brow furrowed. Two middle-aged women stood behind them, irritation was evident on their faces. Beside them were their husbands in suits. Three younger men stood behind the unoccupied chairs, looking smug.

“Dressing up-“ The girl in yellow dress glanced at Aria’s dress with disgust. “Walking like you own the place. Then pretending that you care. Your attitude is really rotten that you were abandoned. That is your fault that he’s gone.” Aria closed her eyes tightly then opened it after three heartbeats. She tried to calm the growing disturbance in her chest. She stood up, dark brown eyes blazing.

“First, I don’t do this to gain superficial things like all of you do,” she slowly disclosed. She just wanted to please her grandparents who raised her but not to get attention. Even if they weren’t intimate and close to her and usually implement rules and plans for her to follow, they treat her better than the rest of her so-called family.

“WHAT-“ her aunt started but was cut off.

“Second, I don’t walk like I own this place. It’s what you do, like how you harass me and don’t respect me as if I’m not part of this family,” she added, shifting her gaze among the nine wide-eyed individuals standing in front of her. “Third, I care about this family more than any of you know. Care enough to play doll house in front of people so we can show them that we are a happy honourable family. And lastly, you don’t know me because we barely see or talk to each other. You only know my dad. The fact that you’re blaming me means you didn’t trust his decisions. No one forced him.” She released deep breaths while watching their surprised faces.

“Don’t ever talk about my dad with the same tone again. If you really know him, then you know that he isn’t someone you can ridicule.” She glanced at her aunts and uncles who had their mouths open, no sound coming out. “And most of you-“ She pointed to her five cousins. “-were still in diapers before he left so don’t talk like you know his side of the story.” She suddenly felt tired. Trying to calm her anger while controlling her words exhausted her. But somehow, she felt a huge weight was lifted from her shoulders. After 14 years of keeping her feelings to herself, she was able to say what’s on her mind.

“I see.” Aria slowly turned towards the voice. Her grandparents stood there with the same confidence as earlier. Their eyes, however, showed understanding and sadness. They heard everything. But she didn’t regret a word she said.