In This Life And The Next

“I think that it’s the best option we have for us.” Laura said quietly. She sat in Alec and Aurora’s room and her eyes were on the fire in the corner of the room. “What do you know of what kind of fighter he is?”

“I don’t.” Alec muttered as he paced the length of the room. He didn’t want to send Liam in his stead. As king, future king, this should fall to his shoulders. A king should rule like a personal responsibility, not something to be shrugged off to his younger brother when he didn’t like what he saw.

Unless it involved the law and archaic governing. Then Alec would shrug that off to Liam any chance he got.

“Where is Michael?” Caspian asked. “They are brothers. If anyone would know, it would be him.”

Alec looked to Luke who stood and left the room. He stopped in front of the fireplace and looked down at the embers. In all things, Liam had been at his side and his second; for the throne, for their father’s misguided parenting, for his opinion, for his friendship. Everyone in the country knew that it would be Liam who would be out in the field fighting John.

“Liam can’t do it.” Caspian said suddenly, almost shouting.

Everyone in the room flinched and then looked to him.

“What are you saying? Are you out of your mind? Of course I can do it. I have to. It’s my duty.” Liam argued.

“No.” Caspian murmured, “It’s not. Or it’s not just your duty.” He huffed and clenched his hands. He stood up and went to Alec. “Choose me. Name me your second instead.”

Caspian faced Alec head on, and looked him straight in the eye. It was a joke among the brothers that though Alec was the oldest and the heir, he was shorter than the other two. Though Caspian was barely taller than him, the difference between Liam and Alec was noticeable.

“Why?” Alec asked.

“Because- because Liam is irreplaceable in your court.” Caspian whispered and looked down at his hands. “He knows all the laws, old and new. He negotiates on your behalf. His knowledge cannot be replicated. He has studied all his life to be at your side when you take the throne.” Caspian let out a long, shuddery breath. “He is to be a father.” He added softly.

Alec put a hand on Caspian’s shoulder. “Your life is worth no less. You are just as as valued.”

“No, Alec.” Liam stood and went to them. “He is too young, too inexperienced. I can do this and beat John.”

“I will not lose this fight, not for us, not for the kingdom. I am better than the guard, the best since you , Alec, George tells me all the time.” Caspian argued fiercely. There were tears shining in his eyes. “Liam has lost to me over and over. He was not meant for battle, he was meant for books, for a family.”

Alec looked from one brother to the other and wanted to tear his eyes from his head. They were both clinging to this thing called duty and honor and it made Alec want to get on Raven with Aurora and ride away from this madness. It had two brothers fighting to who would go to their deaths.

“Alec, he is a child .” Liam hissed. “He does not understand what he asks.”

“I do know.” Caspian insisted. “I know that I could go out there and lose my life at his hands but-”

“But what?” Hazel asked, joining them now.

“But I would have died with honor. My life for yours,” Caspian looked to Alec, “And for Liam’s. And for his child.” The tears spilled over and Alec reached out and roughly wiped his face away. Caspian only smiled at the gesture. “Is there a more honorable way to go than for my family?”

“No-” Liam growled. “Do not take this from me, this is for me, this is my job, I am written as his second.”

“What is written can be erased.” Alec murmured softly.

Caspian looked up at Alec and Liam turned a betrayed look to him. Hazel wrapped her arms around Caspian and he returned the gesture.

“Alec, you cannot consider this. It is madness, suicide!” Liam shouted.

“You have asked the impossible.” Alec said. “To choose between one brother or the other. You have asked me to kill one of you.” He let out a breath. “I must think as a king and not a brother. I must consider what is best.”

“This is not-” Liam started.

“It is. They will declare war if they lose. You know it as well as I. Should you fall, and I, there will be Caspian, but Caspian will be the last to protect Hazel. And your family. And mother. That way is too easy to challenge the throne. Should Caspian fall, there will still be you and I left.” Alec’s voice broke. He was not able to think so coldly. He still remembered Caspian taking his first steps, the gap toothed smile of the little boy who grew to be such a brave man. “It must be Caspian.” Alec whispered and pulled Hazel and Caspian into a hug.

Behind their small group, Alec saw Laura turn away and into Aurora’s arms. She wrapped her arms around her and Alec saw that he was not the only one crying.

After a moment, Liam muttered, “Damn you both.” Before Hazel pulled him into their hug.

“I will give you a day to rest and ready yourself.” Alec said. “I will send word that you are to fight the day after tomorrow.”

Caspian nodded.

“Go.” Alec ordered to everyone. Jessica went to Laura and they left first, followed by the rest of the royal family. The escort followed but Alec stopped George before he could leave. “A moment, George.” Alec murmured.

George stopped and looked from Aurora to Alec. Alec waited until the door closed behind the last of them, leaving just Aurora, George, and Alec in the room.

George let out a sigh. “That was a hell of a choice, son.”

Alec nodded. He leaned against the wall and after a moment, he slid down it and Aurora got a glimpse of the boy who went to war with John, the one who was tortured, who almost died for something he thought was greater than himself.

“George.” Alec whispered.

George looked down at Alec and Aurora wondered how close they were, how much of Alec’s childhood he had seen, of Liam’s, of Caspian’s, of Hazel’s. If it tore at him like it tore at their mother how these children were the first in line to offer their hearts and their minds and their lives to the country that depended on them. How they did it thoughtlessly, instinctively, selflessly.

“What is it, Alec?” George asked.

“Between Liam and Caspian-” Alec started.

“There was no right choice.” George whispered.

“Does Caspian stand a chance?” Alec asked, looking down at his hands.

“No.” George said unflinchingly. “But neither did Liam.”

Alec looked up and Aurora had never before witnessed such heartbreak in a person’s eyes.

“What do I do?” Alec asked.

George had no answer.