In My Desperate Time

Sabina is cooking in the kitchen when I reach home.
She always hums a song while cooking.
This is the first time I see her so happy these days.
I think she has already met with Fernando Louis.
She finishes a dish and takes it out. When she sees us reach home, she shows a smile and says, “You are back. Earl is sleeping
upstairs now.”
After saying that, she goes back to the kitchen while humming again.
Frances Louis shows an extremely confused face.
He looks at Sabina, then looks at me, frowns, and says, “Is today a special day? Why are you so happy?”
I curl my lips and walk upstairs while ignoring him.
I walk back to my room and see Earl Louis sleeping soundly in the cot. It feels so sweet.
What a cute child. How can I dislike him?
Earl’s body wounds have finally recovered after these days. How can he go back to Whitney Jordan’s side again?
When I recall what Whitney did, I am extremely reluctant to let him back.
Although he is Whitney’s child, I really wish to keep him as if he is my own.
“Jane, it is time to eat.”
Sabina calls me from downstairs. I kiss Earl’s forehead gently and walk downstairs.
Sabina has made a spicy chicken dish today. Its aroma makes me have a good appetite.
I taste it and it is very delicious.
Looking at the dishes on the table, almost all of them are spicy. I like to eat spicy food. Obviously, I cannot bear it and I gulp
down the delicious food.

Frances has always been unable to eat spicy food. He frowns while eating and also drinks water very often.
Sabina at the side looks at Frances and says softly, “You should eat less if you feel it is too spicy. This soup is not spicy. You can
drink this soup and eat less. Today is Fernando’s death anniversary and he used to like these foods.”
So that is what it is.
However, compared to Fernando Louis, Frances’s place in the family seems to have fallen.
Frances doesn’t say anything. He simply eats some food and goes upstairs.
After Frances leaves, Sabina notices that I like the food. She picks me lots of dishes and says, “Jane, eat more if you enjoy the
food.”
Then, she lowers her voice and says to me, “Thank you so much. I have met Fernando today.”
There are crystal clear tears in her eyes.
I think those are tears of joy.
I eat a lot during this dinner.
In the end, I go upstairs while touching my stomach that is full.
I sweat a lot after finishing dinner. When I go to the bathroom and take a shower, I remember that I am on period today.
Will I feel discomfort after eating so much chili during my menstruation period?
No way... right?
I comfort myself.
However, whatever happens, happens.
Right after I lay on the bed after taking shower, I feel convulsion in my stomach.
I have always suffered from serious menstrual pain. This time is much more serious. I roll on the bed again and again as I feel
extreme pain. I bite my lips hard while the pain makes me sweat cold bullets.

Why do I find trouble for myself? This time is going to be troublesome.
I feel no strength and dizzy because of the extreme pain.
At this moment, Earl is crying in the cot.
After sleeping for a long time, he must be hungry.
I have to give him a shower after feeding him milk.
I struggle and want to get up from the bed. However, my body feels so weak and I cannot use any strength.
I am struggling to crawl towards the cot. When I want to hold Earl, I realize that my hands have no strength.
If I hug Earl hastily, what will happen if I drop him by accident?