Risking (Chapter 14)
Rachel:
The lukewarm water from the shower is doing nothing to cool down my heated skin.
My fingers dance along my skin, messaging sweet-smelling soap into every inch. My heart is pounding and I feel vibrantly alive. Steam fills the air and my lungs.
A door opens to the shower room and I turn my head to see Sarah, carrying her robe in her arms having not bothered to put it back on. I am no longer alone in the tile-covered bathing room. I hear her set something on the bench in the center of the room before stepping into one of the many shower stalls.
I should approach her about testifying, but will she be uncomfortable with me approaching her in the shower?
I close my eyes and step under the showerhead, allowing the water to flow over my hair and down my body. Images of bright blue eyes appear behind my eyelids and I shake my head to get it out.
I step out from the shower stream, open my eyes, and turn off the shower. Blue eyes might occupy my mind but I have important work to do.
I take a seat on the bench and begin slowly rubbing oils into my skin. I don’t normally do this because what do I care if my skin is dry and scratchy? But, now I am biding time, waiting for Sarah to finish her shower so I can talk to her.
The oil smells too sweet for my liking- like a mix between cotton candy and a flower. But, as I massage it into my legs I can already feel my tired skin absorbing it and growing softer. I need to start taking better care of myself, not for the worshipers but for myself. Someday I will free of this temple and I want to enjoy that freedom.
The wait isn’t long. Sarah is also not the type of woman to dillydally.
Sarah steps out of the shower and grabs her robe from the other side of the bench.
I am unsure how to start. Hey, we don’t really know each other but do you feel like risking your life to tell a bunch of strangers about what was probably the worst moment in your life? So I go with small talk, “empty out there”
Sarah freezes as her eyes slide over to me, warry. She’s not stupid; she knows my small talk is just a front, a start of something. She just doesn’t know what.
When she says nothing I clear my throat, “Ah, I suppose it’s because of the testimony today”
“I suppose” she begins to slowly put on her robe, pulling her arm through one sleeve and then another deliberately, giving me time to say what I need to say.
I am tenser than I should be. Sarah doesn’t seem like the type to rat me out. Then again, I don’t really know her.
I lick my lips in nervousness, “Maya is brave for-”
“Maya?” Shit, I forgot nobody knows who is testifying today.
“What I meant was it is brave to-“
“Maya” Sarah repeats to herself as she shakes her head in disbelief and smiles a little. She ties her robe and places the silver belt around her waist.
I panic as she slides her feet into her slippers and begins to walk away, going around the bench and heading straight for the door. I realize the moment for subtlety has passed, “Would you testify about the Redeemer?”
She pauses mid-step. Without turning, she replies with a hollow voice, “have you ever been down there?”
“No”
“Then you don’t know what you are asking, what you are risking”
“I don’t” I acknowledge, “but I’m willing to risk my worst nightmares to improve this, to… get rid of the constant threat”
She says nothing to me, still standing staring towards the far wall not really seeing.
After a minute, I decide to push her further, “will you think about it?”
She nods once, not even looking at me, and swiftly exits the room. I feel oddly unsettled and proud. I’ve made the first step towards contributing and yet I have nothing conclusive.
I decide to talk to the Master Priest anyway. Both to make him proud of my small progress and to see those stark blue eyes again, perhaps mostly to see him again.
I quickly dress and leave the shower room and head towards the wing which holds the priests’ offices. It’s a short walk and I pass only a few people on the way. His office is on a silent hallway with all of the light wooden doors closed tight.
I knock softly on the door to his office, not wanting to draw too much attention to my presence. I hear the Master Priest, I press my ear to the door but I can’t quite make out what he is saying.
I decide to risk going in rather than standing in the hallway. I turn the doorknob carefully, quietly, its soft squeak already feels loud in the quiet hallway.
I peer over his office and see that he is sitting behind his desk working on something. I open my mouth to greet him when I realize exactly what he is doing.
His arm jerks up and down as he leans over his desk, his eyes closed. He then leans back in his chair groaning.
I should leave. This isn’t for my eyes. Yet, I can’t quite stop watching him, his brow furrowed, his head thrown back in ecstasy. He looks… beautiful, majestic, and I feel my skin come alive once more.
He watched me and now I watch him.
I lean in through the door which I keep only partially open. I lick my lips wishing I could press them to his, wishing I could taste him, wishing I could feel him under my nails. But I’m intruding. So I slowly, carefully begin to close the door. I can talk to him later.
At this moment the door squeaks and eyes fly open.
Blue eyes watch me again.
*****
In Fledgling Whispers is COMPLETE on my Patreon. You can read it today for only 3 Euros a month (+VAT, multiple currencies available). Check out the link for more info: https://www.patreon.com/heatherjacobs
Happy reading!
Heather