I'm the Alpha's World

I want to throw up, not because of the baby, but because it's been an hour. Sebastian left the room an hour ago and I haven't mustered up the courage to look for him.

I knew it. I knew this was going to end up horribly. How can he just leave me here after I tell him I'm pregnant! Suddenly anger overcomes me and I thrash around in the blankets like a child. It doesn't take long for me to tire myself out.

I fall back against my pillow and turn on my side, watching the alarm clock tick by. Each minute feels like a century.

I want to yell at him and hit him, but overall I just want a reaction out of him. All Sebastian gave me was a blank expression and silent exit. This is not what I need right now: a baby, a confusing mate, a messed up father... What else can the universe add?

Oh right, "you." I say out loud and look to the edge of the bed. She stands there with a sad smile on her porcelain face. "What could you possibly want?"

"Please Evangeline, don't be upset, he just needs time."

"Well I don't have time!" I yell at her and throw the blanket over my head. "It's not like I can hit the pause button for him."

The bed dips down slightly and I peek out to see the moon goddess sitting at my feet. She reaches out and touches my hand, causing a wave of relaxation to run through me. "You have enough time."

I sit in silence.

"Just take it."

She says nothing and doesn't even glance my way.

"He doesn't want it anyways."

"But what do you want?" She finally looks at me and I clench my jaw.

"I don't know what a want anymore. Maybe, my mom. I want her." Tears threaten to fall. "I want her back, she would know what to do. But instead she's rotting away with no one to bring her flowers or to talk to her."

I sniffle and tug the comforter up. "Please, I want to be alone."

The moon goddess nods and I look away, but when I peer back she's gone.

I curl up in bed and stare at the ceiling, something inside me wishes to be back in that room. In there no one could break my heart.

I hate him for leaving me. I don't want to be alone tonight, I want to be in his arms. I wonder where he's gone, out to the woods? Or maybe he is just downstairs.

I don't want to think of him because I don't want to cry. I know I will.

I hug myself and watch the empty space beside me as if he's laying there. What would he have said if he didn't leave? I just want to know what he's thinking.

Depressed feelings consume me and I decide to get a glass of water. On my way down to the kitchen I see Sebastian no where, not even in his office when I check. The last thing I want to think is that he left for good. He would never do that, would he?

The cool water soothes my throat as I lean against the counter. So far this baby has caused nothing but trouble and its only been a day. I internally curse at myself for being so stupid, especially with the birth control. This is all my fault.

I set the glass softy on the counter.

This is all my fault, it's my fault that he's mad at me. I've ruined everything we have.

Damn Henry for praying.

My breaths are shaky as my heart is slowly being torn apart. Maybe the moon goddess should just take it.

I wrap the robe tighter around my body and I head back upstairs. Henry is fast asleep in his room making snoring noises that can be heard from the hallway. I want to wake him up so I'll have someone to talk to, but that would be selfish of me.

The bedroom looks extremely lonely inside but I go in anyways. Instead of going to bed I walk to the dresser, opening the top drawer. I see the underwear I got from Victoria Secret with Fiona, the underwear I was so embarrassed about. I grab a random pair and hold it in my hands, staring at the lace detailing that I loved. Without thinking I rip it apart.

The fabric falls to the floor and I look at it with disgust.

I wish Fiona was here, I wish I could talk to her. At least she was happy about the news.

I think back to earlier today and a sudden urge fills my mind. In the matter of seconds I run out of the bedroom and through the back door. The moonlight dances on the surface of the water and I glance down at my own reflection. I look sad.

I take off the robe and stand on the edge of the pool in my pajamas. The water is too tempting.

"Evan what are you doing?"

Immediately I look back to see Henry standing by the door. "I don't know." I mutter and gaze down. "I don't know."

"Well come back inside, if Sebastian found you out here-"

"He wouldn't care."

Henry seems confused as I pick up the robe and walk towards him. "He left, I don't know where his is."

"What do you mean he left? Was there an emergency?"

"Something like that." I mumble and walk past him.

Exhaustion reaches its limit and I crash onto the bed. Tears stain my cheeks and I quickly wipe them away, he doesn't deserve my tears. The clock reads twelve o'clock in a bold red so I calm down. The best thing for me right now is sleep.

Suddenly I hear the door creek open, so I sit up to see Sebastian sneaking in. A pang hits my heart. "Go away."

He sighs. "Just let me talk."

"No, I don't want to see you."

Against my words he walks to the edge of the bed and I get up. The wall hits my back and he runs his hand through his hair. Usually I would stare longingly at him but right now I just want to be alone. I don't want to see him. "Sebastian go!"

"Evangeline calm down, you're acting crazy." He says with his arms crossed. He grabs my arm but I'm quick to yank it away.

"Screw you!" I mindlessly attempt to shove him back, he barely moves.

His arms fly up and cage me in as he begins to look angry. I smile devilishly and stare at him dead in the eyes. "What are you going to do?" I breath heavy. "Hit me?"

Immediately he backs away and chucks the bedside table against the wall, causing it to break into many pieces. "Don't you fucking say that!" He growls at me.

My chest rises and falls as I feed of the sudden adrenaline. "You're no better than him!"

"You're a prisoner here? Am I holding you captive?" He comes closer and I cower away.

"Sometimes it feels like it." My voice is small but loud enough for him to hear.

"Then get the fuck out."

My heart stops at his words. I peer up to see him glaring at me and if I didn't know him like I do I would be scared. "Okay, I'll go then."

I make my way past him and to the door. He says nothing as I walk out and I don't dare look back. Sebastian might have meant to just leave the room, but I'm taking it a step further.

The wind hits my cheeks when I open the front door. There's no need for a jacket anymore since the weather has gotten much warmer. So I begin my journey from the pack house and towards the borders. As I near the edge I see a guard watching me from his post and he calls out. "Luna? Where are you going so late?"

I wave him off and continue towards the small stream.

"Should I get the Alpha?"

"No!" I yell and begin to see the stream up ahead. "I'm just going to my grandmothers!"

He nods and leaves me be as I leap across the water. I'm surprised to hear no protesting from my wolf and she stays quiet. I'm thankful for the silence.

My grandmothers house comes into view and I hurry towards it.