Illumination

It was a cold and dreary day.

The sky was almost completely black, but streaks of grey decorated the horizon. Jack was used to the darkness anyway. Her helmet, along with the others’, had been left behind in the courtroom one and a half days ago, and they’d never been returned. Thus, Jack was forced to wear a frumpy, white scarf that Bella had given her in order to stay warm. It wrapped over her nose and partly obscured her vision, but it didn’t matter.

Just then, she was sitting out on the cold ice, her back against a security fence that enclosed the exercise yard. It was a prison within itself. Flat ice stretched out for a few yards before the walls shut it in, and there was nothing but a track crudely scratched into the center of the field, looping around in mocking circles. Jack didn’t run. She’d been taken out for one last exercise, but lacked the energy to do anything. Sierra was rambling along the edge of the fence, just a mere silhouette now in Jack’s vision. Liam was lying a few feet away, legs spread, head against a rock, chest rising and falling slowly. Robin and Bailey were the only ones running, being lapped by Hazel and the other solfects, who were also on their last day before execution. Even in human form, they far outpaced the two teens.

Two hours until execution, Jack thought. She tried to look back to her life before the fall from the cliff, before the Sector, before the solfects, and before the prison, but she couldn’t. The timeline stretched out too far to remember anything but faint images and memories. I wonder if Dad and Dana miss us. She scoffed to herself and added, Of course they do! Don’t be silly.

The past one and a half days had moved like sludge. Jack couldn’t count the hours she’d spent sitting in the cell, only allowed out a few times a day for exercise and bathroom breaks. It was tedious; no one ever spoke to anyone else,. The other solfects had come back from the exercise a few minutes after Jack had woken up in the cell, but weren’t big on talking. Just as Ben had said, there were four of them. Victor, Kai, Bella, and Izzy. They seemed to look to Hazel as their leader since Ben wasn’t there, but she spent most of her time hanging from the ceiling bar and staring at the wall. So the time wasted away and now it was almost up.

Jack tightened the scarf around her face and stood up, leaving Liam sprawled out on the ice behind her. She jogged down one side of the yard until she reached Sierra, who was now leaning up against the chain fence.

“Why aren’t you running with the others?” her younger sister asked, turning her head. She had bags under her eyes that were marked by even more red lines, which trailed down her cheeks.

“Just don’t feel like it.” Jack paused and added, “What about you?”

“Too slow, not motivated,” Sierra said, mouth barely moving. She tilted her gaze up and watched the figures sprint around in an endless loop. “Hey, I know why you’re here. It’s okay.”

Her older sister sat down next to her, asking, “What do you mean? I was just coming to sit with you.”

“No, you weren’t. If you were just coming to sit, you would’ve done that when we were lost and you were talking to Bailey, or when we were at the ice cave and you were...talking to Bailey again. You’re here to ‘comfort’ me, aren’t you?!”

“Sie, what’s this about? Calm down, it’s just the strain of no meds--” Jack began with a frown, but was interrupted.

“No, I don’t need to calm down, you need to calm up,” her sister spat. “Am I defined by my meds? Are you seeing me as a person? I don’t know anymore, because every time I try to talk to you or even see if you care, you ignore me or flip the question into some big medical thing!”

“I don’t get this,” Jack huffed. “I don’t define you by your meds. And for the record, I wasn’t ignoring you at all! Just kind of busy. We’re talking now and I was the one who came over and sat down.”

“It’s not a ‘who did it first thing’. You came over because this is probably the last time we’ll ever get to talk. Is this just a matter of family bonding? Because I’m having none of it.You would’ve done it before. You would’ve cared when I cut my hair or when my friends died or when I lost my meds and lost my cool at the doctor’s house or when I asked you if...if…” Here she trailed off with a sniffle.

The yard fell into a brief silence, save the shouts from the solfects as they ran alongside Bailey and Robin. Snow began to beat down from above, showering them in ivory flakes. “I...I’m sorry. I thought that I was doing the right thing,” Jack apologized. She couldn’t help but add, “To be fair, I did ask about you several times. We sat in the tent together…”

“But you asked. You talked. Not listening. I just want someone to listen to me and ask me what I want instead of about my meds, but it doesn’t matter anyway because this is probably the last time we’ll ever talk,” Sierra muttered, lying down on the snow. Tears streaked down her cheeks.

Jack considered this for a tense moment, then scooted over so Sierra’s head was almost in her lap. “Okay, I’m listening. What do you want?”

“I want everything to be okay.”

The other hesitated, then prompted, “Sierra?”

Jack’s sister turned and faced her, the tip of her nose glowing pink. “Yeah?”

“It’s not going to be okay.”

Sierra frowned and said, “I know.”

A pause. The snow beat down faster.

“Are we okay with that?” Jack asked.

“I guess so.” Sierra smiled, and another piece of the puzzle fell into place. “Hey, there’s one more thing.”

“What?”

Jack’s sister turned and pointed down to the track where the others were running. Specifically, at Bailey.

“You want me to talk to her?” Jack said, voice trembling on the last word.

Sierra pulled her older sister into a tight hug and let out a slight sob. “For the last time, yeah. For me, okay?”

Jack reluctantly broke from the embrace, rested her hands on the other’s shoulders, then stood up. She hesitated, then made her way down the icy hill towards the track, the feeling of Sierra’s fingers on her arms still fresh.

Bailey stopped running when Jack approached and stood by the edge of the track. She walked over, sweating, and looked around the field before asking, “What’s going on?”

“Can I join you guys?” Jack asked.

Bailey cocked her head to one side and said, “Of course! You don’t need to ask me for that.” She scoffed, turned, and sped off down the track. A moment after, Bella and Kai morphed into solfect form (a disturbing, shocking, but at the same time familiar sight) and chased after the girl. Well, now’s my chance. Jack could see the Apex who was sitting on a platform overlooking the yard—the one in charge of monitoring their exercise time and making sure they didn’t escape. Like a lifeguard, except everyone hated him. He was standing up now and stretching his six limbs. I’ve got to go now, Jack thought to herself. She thought about doing a warm up, but her mind hissed, Two hours. Jack jumped onto the outer ring of the track and began to run.

Jack had spent the last day and a half cooped up in a rusty cell, so now that she was running on a track and trying to catch up with one of the fastest girls in her college class...she could really feel her muscles burn. Every time she got close to Bailey, the girl picked up speed and the gap between them grew. She’s trying to catch up to me, Jack realized, slowing down and letting Bailey approach on another lap.

“Hey. Again.” The girl slowed down her pace so Jack could run alongside her. “I saw you were talking to Sierra earlier.” She shoved her hands in her uniform pockets and said, “I hope she’s doing okay.”

“You know how she’s doing. The usual.”

“Yeah.” Bailey grinned. “Like I said before, you guys are dysfunctional. I guess that’s what makes you so interesting.”

“Really?”

“Well, yeah. It’s not your personality or anything.” The conversation subsided into awkward silence as they ran side by side. Robin and the solfects had given up and were retreating off the track at the call of the Apex guard. Liam and Sierra, heads bowed, soon followed. It was time for the execution.

As the two of them were beckoned by the guard, Jack knew that she only had one more chance. She grabbed Bailey by the wrist as they walked off the track and stopped in front of her. “What is it?” The girl stared at her, half-confused, half-tired.

“I—I’m sorry. For everything.” Jack couldn’t help but add out of spite, “And I hope you are too.”

Bailey twitched, like a jackrabbit longing to break away and run across the plains. “Yeah. I am.” A smile broke across her face. “Thanks, Squeak.” Some things never change, Jack thought with a sigh. The two of them stood there for a moment, one smiling, the other not. The Apex began to make his way down the platform to the ground. “We’d better go.” Still holding onto each other’s wrists, Jack and Bailey made their way inside, leaving the exercise yard behind.