III. The Impact of Her

An elderly worker was at the door upon my arrival at the bakery.

She greeted all who entered with a warm smile. As soon as I approached her, she said, “Good morning, sir. What can I help you with today?”

“I am looking for Laura. Is she here today?” I asked as I forced a weak smile.

“Oh, that little darling of ours!” she squealed. “You must be her friend,” she took my hand without asking and shook hands with me. “I will call her for you.” She then headed for the kitchen.

I headed to the wooden bench outside the bakery to avoid causing trouble. And right when I was about to sit down, Laura’s voice came from the door. I looked in her direction and she approached me whilst she wiped her hands on her apron.

“Robert,” she greeted with her ever-dazzling smile, “How are–” her smile faded as she stood before me. Slowly, she held onto my arm and asked, “Has something happened? Your entire face is red and your eyes are swollen.”

“She… she didn’t wake up,” I choked as I held back my tears from falling. I have cried too much back at home. I didn’t want to do the same here, especially in front of strangers.

Laura held my hand as we sat down. She asked again, not removing her eyes from me, “Who didn’t wake up?”

“Lady. She didn’t wake up,” I replied as I slowly broke down once again.

Laura quickly pulled me into her arms and held me tight. My tears landed on her shoulders as she rubbed my back. “It is all right, Robert. Everything will be fine,” she whispered.

As she gave me the space to cry, I felt everything. The brief numbness disappeared and the excruciating pain of Lady’s death made itself known once more. It felt even worse than before. It was unbearable. A part of me died along with her. And the pain only continued to grow. No words could describe it.

“Keep yourself together, Robert. Everything has its reasons,” she added.

My tears soaked her shirt. Even if I was drowning in a sea of grief, her warmth comforted me. I was in the middle of a storm, surrounded by dark clouds and ferocious winds. But Laura was soothing the atmosphere within the storm.

I cried for what it seemed to be a long while. But she never told me to stop. She remained silent and rubbed my back for as long as I needed it. She allowed me to be in that state before she finally sat me upright.

“Wait here,” she said before running back inside the bakery. On her return, she was holding a cup. “Here you are,” she carefully offered the cup filled with water, “Have something to drink.”

I emptied the cup as soon as it landed on my hands. I sniffled a bit more as I settled the cup beside me. “I just don’t understand it, Laura,” I replied as words finally came out of my mouth. “Why did it have to be her? Why did she have to die?”

I turned to her for an answer. But she was simply silent as she looked at me.

I gritted my teeth as I continued, “Whoever did this have no heart. No soul. They don’t deserve to live in any realm.” My hands gripped on my knees. My blood boiled once more. I was enraged. The loss of a beloved friend has rendered me such emotions where I succumbed to tears too quickly; even cursed whoever was responsible for Lady’s death.

“Robert,” Laura put her hand on mine, “Calm yourself. I understand that Lady’s death came as a shock. It was truly horrendous and unfair. But your anger must not take over. You must have a clear mind in order to solve this matter.”

She added, “There must be a reason as to why Lady had to leave your life.”

“I don’t believe that there is a reason - not even an excuse - for Lady’s death,” I replied as I shook my head. I refused to believe that this had some sort of sacred message for me to learn.

Lady was selfishly murdered, all because of someone’s anger towards me. She shouldn’t be broiled into that. She did nothing wrong.

Laura sat quietly for a bit before she said, “Everything in this universe has a reason. Perhaps, something is about to enter your life and Lady had to give way.”

Baffled, my brows furrowed as I looked at her. I never thought of it in that perspective. “But, Lady didn’t have to be taken from me. If something new is to come into my life, Lady should be a part of it. She has been a part of everything in my life.”

Gently, Laura held both of my hands and looked at me, “Sometimes, certain things need to give way for the new to come. Today was a heartbreaking loss. Nothing can ever replace Lady’s place in your heart. She will always remain there,” she pointed to my heart. She continued, “But, whatever it is that is coming your way may somehow return your happiness. That joy that went with Lady.”

I grew even more confused. “Are you implying that I should be thankful for her departure?”

“Lady’s death, whether it be a blessing or a curse, will entirely be up to you,” said Laura. “It is in your hands to control the outcome of this situation. And I assure you that I will be by your side through and through,” she smiled.

It was easy to tell that Laura was devastated by Lady’s sudden death. Lady had a connection with her and Laura adored my champion. Her eyes were a mixture of sadness and a slight happiness. That happiness radiated from within her. And she had always tried to shine on me once she knew something was wrong.

She was saddened by the news but she chose to be strong in order for me to be vulnerable.

“Now, how about I give you another hug?” she asked as she opened her arms.

I moved closer to her. Slowly, she folded her arms around me. In an instant, I was covered by her love and warmth. I was in complete awe of how secured I was within her embrace.

She has become my fortress.

After a while, we pulled away from each other. “Do you feel any better?” she asked with a smile.

I nodded as I sniffled. “Your comfort has helped me so much,” I said.

“For a moment, I thought you were uncomfortable because you didn’t reciprocate my actions,” she replied, a little confused.

I scratched my nape and explained, “I didn’t want to put any malice between the two of us. I wasn’t sure how you would react if I hugged you back.”

“You are not a stranger to me, Robert. If I smiled at you or held you in my arms, you can always do it in return,” Laura said after a giggle. She continued, “You already held me in your arms multiple times. What is the difference if I am the one who did that?”

My eyes widened in shock. And she stared at me as if she was waiting for me to do something. I gathered all the courage that I needed before I gently pulled her in my arms. As I tightened the embrace, her arms wrapped around my torso.

And everything just stopped.

It was as if we were the only people in this world. I closed my eyes as I smiled whilst I cherished this moment.

Laura asked as she rubbed my back, “How do you feel now?”

I held her even tighter and replied, “I never want to let you leave my touch ever again.” I would never want this feeling to end. It was comforting, gentle, and secure.

I felt a smile crept on her face as she buried her face into my chest. She rubbed my back a few more times before we pulled away. “I hope my comfort has given you a place of solace during this difficult time of yours,” she said.

I held her hand as I looked deeply into her eyes. “You have done something even more, Laura. Your arms have become a secondary home for me. You made me feel safe,” I replied.

Immediately, she blushed as she looked down at our intertwined hands. “You do the same for me, Robert. Who am I not to do the same for you?” Laura asked as she caressed my hand.

I lifted her face. “Thank you,” I caressed her cheek.

Laura smiled as she gently removed my hand from her face. “How about we have a picnic this afternoon?” she asked.

“A picnic?”

She nodded. “Perhaps, it can make you feel better.”

“Won’t Grandpa Ben be furious if he finds out that you will skip work again just to comfort me?” I asked, worried.

Laura chuckled. “Robert, we have done that countless times. And he never said anything against it.”

“And why would I be angry about that?”