If You Want Me (The Toronto Terror Series)

“Ihope you’re not upset with me for bidding on you,” Scarlet says with a smile. “It’s such a worthwhile cause. I know you’re not looking to rekindle, Hollis, and I completely understand, but I’m only here for another month, and I didn’t want to leave without seeing you again.” She looks slightly embarrassed—and hopeful. She did just spend a hundred grand on a night with me.

People snap pictures of the couples on the dance floor. I can already predict how this will look when they hit social media. There will be endless speculation. Are we getting back together? Is this the beginning of Hollis and Scarlet 2.0? How the hell will Aurora deal with it? How can I put her through something like this?

Hindsight is an asshole. I should have told Hemi to pull me from the auction regardless of the suspicions it might raise. We’d been lulled into a false sense of security, believing it wouldn’t turn out this way. I should have talked to Roman, admitted I have feelings for his daughter months ago instead of all this sneaking around, let him knock out a few of my teeth if that’s what needed to happen. This is the shitstorm I’ve created. I scan the room for Aurora, but the lights have been dimmed.

Scarlet’s hand slides over my shoulder and rests on my chest. “I know I hurt you in the past, but it’s been years, Hollis. This could be good for both of us.”

I glance down at her. “In what way, exactly?”

“You’ll be retiring from hockey in the next few years, moving on to the next phase. You’d be great at sportscasting. Maybe you even want to try your hand at acting?”

Cold realization slithers down my spine. “Is this a publicity stunt?”

She gives me an imploring look. “It could be good for your career to be seen with me, don’t you think? We can push the platonic angle if that’s what you want. I know the last year has been a challenge. Back-to-back injuries, two surgeries. It can’t be easy. I want to help. I want only good things for you. I’m trying to apologize for what I put you through, make it up to you the one way I know how, Hollis.”

Of course this is how she sees it. She’s the same woman I dated all those years ago, just older and smarter, but still intensely focused on her career. And apparently mine.

I keep searching the room for Aurora. I need to tell her I’m done hiding what’s going on between us. I’ll deal with Roman and the fallout, whatever it is. I should be on the dance floor with her tonight. She should be the person in my arms.

My stomach sinks as I spot her rushing for the exit, the skirt of her dress billowing out behind her, head down, hand covering her mouth.

When will this fucking song end?

“Hollis.” Scarlet’s voice drags my attention back to her. Her expression is pained, uncertain.

“I genuinely appreciate what you’re trying to do, Scarlet, but I don’t want the media speculation this will bring. I’m seeing someone else right now. She knows about the auction, but I can’t handle the rumors and press.” Not when I’m deeply in love with her. If I’d been smart, I would have told Scarlet that when I said I wasn’t interested in trying again. “I don’t think being around each other is good for me.” My voice comes out a lot sharper than I intend.

“I’m sorry. I just…I thought I was helping.”

“I know. I appreciate it, truly. It’s not…” I sigh. “There are other things going on in my life.”

“I understand.” For a moment, I see the young woman I’d fallen in love with all those years before she turns on her movie star smile before stepping out of my arms. “I’ll see you around.”

The song finally ends, thank fuck.

I excuse myself so I can find Aurora and run into Tristan on the way out of the ballroom.

“Whatever you’re going to say, I don’t need to hear it,” I snap.

He holds up both hands. “I already expressed my concerns. Hammer is hiding around the corner trying to keep her shit together, so maybe go fix what you broke instead of worrying about me.”

I brush by him and step out into the open foyer. A few small groups are gathered with glasses in hand, others head for the restrooms. I go in the opposite direction and find Aurora tucked into a narrow alcove, her back to me, shoulders shaking.

“Princess?”

She spins around, and it feels like someone punched through my rib cage and ripped my heart out of my chest. This is the very last thing I wanted to happen. I hate seeing her cry. Hate that I could have prevented this. Should have.

She ducks her head. “I’m fine. It’s fine. It’s my fault. I’m so stupid.”

I move in and I wipe away her tears with my thumbs, but new ones keep falling. “It’s not your fault, and you’re not stupid. You’re so smart I don’t even know what to do with myself half the time.”

“I did this to us. You tried to take yourself out and I said no. And now she’ll have you all to herself for a whole night, like she wanted, and there’s nothing I can do about it. What if you decide you want to give her another chance?”

“That won’t happen, Aurora. You are the only woman I want.” I brush my lips over hers. “The only one.”

She curves one palm around the back of my neck and fists the lapel of my tux with the other. “I hated seeing you together. I hate that you can dance with her, and you can’t do that with me. That you can touch her, that she can touch you. I want to be the one you take on dates.”

“I want the same thing.” I stroke her cheek. “And I know it won’t be easy, or simple, but I’ll deal with Roman.”

“He won’t be okay with it, though. He already said as much.” Her voice wavers with fear.

“I’ll make it right.” Like I should have done weeks ago. “Not being able to celebrate with you has been hell. I can’t watch you from the sidelines anymore,” I admit.

“I’m just so scared.” She’s practically shaking in my arms. “What if it damages my relationship with him? Or your relationship? What if we can’t fix it and it’s too late? I don’t want to lose him. He could decide none of the sacrifice was worth it. What if he never forgives me?”

“You’re his world, Aurora, nothing will change that. But I’ll fix this, Princess. I’ll make it better.” I sweep her tears away. “When we’re alone, I’ll make it up to you,” I murmur. “I’ll take away all the hurt.” And I’ll tell you exactly how I feel about you. When we have privacy. “Does that sound good?”

She nods.

I brush my lips over hers again, powerless against the pull.

“What the hell?” Roman’s disbelief-laced voice is a bucket of ice poured over our heads.

I move Aurora behind me as I spin to face him. The person I’ve been lying to for months. Who I should have been honest with ages ago. Who I’ve betrayed in the worst way possible.

Of course this is happening now. As if this night wasn’t already a shitshow of epic proportions. Everything Aurora has worked for, all she’s done to prove herself, will be overshadowed. What kind of lasting damage will that do? What will the ripple effect do to her, to Roman, to us?

His wild gaze moves from me to Aurora, who’s mostly hidden behind me. “Peggy?” His voice is low and unsteady.

“Roman.” I raise both hands. In surrender. In supplication. “I can explain.”

His confusion is replaced with cold realization and simmering rage. “Explain? What did you do, Hollis?” He moves closer, wild eyes focused over my shoulder. “Get away from my daughter.”

“Roman.”

“Now.”

I reach behind me and uncurl Aurora’s fist from my jacket, but don’t release it as I move two steps to the side. She’s sheet white, her chin trembles, and her eyes dart between me and Roman. His livid gaze is locked on our joined hands.

“Peggy?” His shaking voice is full of barely contained fury and fear. “What’s going on here?”

Her shaking hand goes to her lips. “We wanted to tell you. We were going to tell you.”

“You were going to—” His jaw clenches and he snarls. His dark gaze snaps to mine. “How long has this been going on? What is going on?”

I squeeze her hand. “I care very deeply for Aurora.” This can’t be how I tell her I’m in love with her.

“That’s not a fucking answer!” he shouts. “How long, Hollis?”

I swallow the guilt and own the truth. “A few months.”

His eyes flare, and he rushes forward. Aurora tries to step in front of me, but I block her. Roman’s fist connects with the wall behind my head, and Aurora grabs hold of me. I’m set off balance and go down on my bad knee. The pain is momentarily blinding. I deserve it—for lying to Roman, for falling for his daughter, for keeping her a secret.

“Hollis!” Aurora’s hands are on my face.

“Don’t touch him!” Roman roars.

“Dad! Stop!” Aurora pleads.

“Princess, please step back. This needs to happen,” I murmur.

“You fucker.” Roman grabs me by the lapels and drags me to my feet. “You’ve been going behind my back and—dating my daughter? She’s twenty-one years old!”

“We’re both adults, Dad,” Aurora snaps.

He shoves me into the wall but lets me go as his angry gaze shifts to her. “Then why are you sneaking around like…like teenagers?”

“Because I knew this is how you’d react!” Aurora bites back.

“What did you expect?” His expression turns incredulous. “That I’d be overjoyed to find out my best friend and my daughter have been lying to me?” He scrubs a hand down his face. “For months. He’s on my fucking team, dammit!”

“Hollis wanted to say something weeks ago, but I asked him to wait. And then I tried to bring it up with you, but you made it clear you weren’t going to be okay with it,” Aurora says softly.

“I have only ever asked one thing of you, Peggy. And that was not to date a hockey player. Our lives are too fucking unstable. You deserve a partner who is present for you all the time.” He runs a hand over his face. “Is this what the whole Tristan and Rix conversation was about the other day?” His livid gaze shifts from her to me. “You cowardly piece of shit. You put it on my daughter to tell me?”

“I thought it would be better coming from me,” she says. “I wanted the gala to be over and my exams finished before this happened.” Aurora’s voice cracks. “I needed it to be a success so the Terror would want to hire me because I’m qualified and not because you’re my dad, or not hire me because I’m dating a player.”

Roman’s gaze swings back to me. “Do you hear her? You did this.” He points an accusing finger at me. “You are the reason my daughter is crying and defending your lying, worthless ass.”

“The last thing I wanted was to hurt Aurora. She asked to wait until the end of school and the season. It’s the only reason I agreed to wait, but I should have come to you sooner. I should have been honest with you.” I search for a way to fix this, to unbreak what I’ve broken.

“But you didn’t, and you weren’t.” He paces the small hallway. “How this looks—” He laces his hands behind his head. “You’re making me question seven fucking years of friendship, Hollis. I should never have trusted you with my daughter.”

“I would never⁠—”

He slices his hand through the air. “But you did!” His eyes are wild, chest heaving. “Are you sleeping together?” He glances between us. The answer must be written on our faces because his turns a terrifying shade of red.

“I care about Aurora, Roman,” I say softly.

“You care about her?” He motions toward the end of the hall, the thump of upbeat dance music a discordant soundtrack to this nightmare unfolding. “You were just auctioned off to your ex. If you care so much about Peggy, how could you allow that to happen? How could you get up on that stage and let someone else buy a night with you when you’re involved with my goddamn daughter?”

“I didn’t think⁠—”

“No, you didn’t. Look at what you’ve done.” He motions to Aurora, who’s hugging herself now, tears streaming down her face.

“I was trying to protect her.” The words taste sour, like a bad lie. How am I supposed to explain that I was trying to honor her wishes? That we’re both falling in love and scared out of our minds at what that means.

“Fuck you and fuck that. You never should have put her in this kind of position. You put yourself between me and my daughter. You knew how to do this right. You knew how I would feel about all of this. If you’d asked instead of doing what you wanted behind my back, I might not have lost my fucking mind. But we’ll never know, will we? This is a massive betrayal, Hollis. How could you do this to my daughter?”

“You said you would murder him if he ever touched me,” Aurora says softly.

“Days ago. I said that days ago. That doesn’t account for the months of secrecy before that.” His voice shakes with ire. “Like she’s something to be ashamed of.”

“I know you’re upset, and you have every right to be, but this conversation would be better somewhere private,” I tell him.

He looks at me like I’m the one who’s lost his mind. “I can’t have a conversation. I’m livid. I don’t feel like you’re my friend or my teammate right now.” He motions between us. “This. I don’t know if it’s even fixable. My concern is Peggy. This isn’t about you or our friendship. I need to figure out how to help her manage…whatever this shit is.” He holds out his hand. “Peggy, sweetheart, we’re going home.”

“Hollis, please,” she whispers, her expression imploring. Torn.

But I don’t want to create more dissension than I already have. Her relationship with her dad is the most important thing to Aurora. I squeeze her hand, nodding. “You should go. I’ll tell Hemi.”

The way her face crumbles breaks my damn heart, but we’re not solving anything tonight. I want to go to her. I want to sweep her away and tell her how much I love her. That I would do anything for her. I would sacrifice anything to make her happy.

Instead, I let her go, and Roman puts a protective arm around her shoulder. He shakes his head, disappointment leaching through the anger as he shoots me a hateful glare and guides her down the hall.

Leaving me with a truckload of regrets.