If I Could Tell It

Central British Battle Camp, Britain, 648

Seven months.

Food became almost nonexistent in January. For this we fought no more battles.

I remember feeling hungry all the time, my stomach just feeling like an empty cavern inside of my abdomen that would never be full again.

We ate all of the hard biscuits that we had been saving and the dried vegetables. Bedivere caught a deer early in the month and it was the only one that we got through January. We shared it amongst the fifty two men in the camp. It seemed like a lot of men but compared to the original one hundred and forty eight that had been in the camp when I had arrived, it was just sad.

We ate the seven horses mid January.

We were literally starving, digging in the ground for worms and insects to eat. Perceval had the idea to trek to a village that was nearby but his plan was quickly evaporated as soon as we realized that with the snow being several feet deep in places it would be near impossible to clear a trail. Just as we began to approach the end of the month Lancelot, Ellion and I cut up an old pair of leather boots and some deer hide leggings and burnt them over a fire. We ate pieces of the clothing and shared with the other men.

A cavalryman, Sir Jameson, that was just passed thirty became plagued with frostbite at the end of January. Merlin tended to him and informed us that he would die soon. The snow never let up and all of us knew that our same problem would persist through February if things progressed as they were. We were all thinking the same thing but nobody said it.

I was lucky for there during those long weeks. I woke up in America and Miss Marion would make me breakfast and I could eat as much as I wanted. Still, I lost nine pounds even though I grew an inch that winter. All the other men lost much more weight and everyone grew irritable as they grew hungrier and hungrier, our only food being clothing, whatever was living in the dirt, and the ever so occasionally squirrel. I caught a possum at one point: Merlin made a broth with it, and the cavalrymen shared its destroyed carcass.

Sir Jameson died an impressive week after his diagnosis.

Lionel sat down with me and watched the fire. The fire was the only sure thing we had right now. By some saving grace we were always able to find material to fuel our fire.

“We need to decide what to do about Jameson.” Lionel said.

I looked at him weakly. He was not the impressive looking lion man he had been when he had first introduced himself formally to me. His skin was as pale as mine and his skin seemed to hang off of him with malnourishment. His once full curly golden beard and mane now were stringy and sad looking.

“You have more compassion than me.” I told him. It was true, next to Lionel I looked like a mindless killing machine. “You know I would.”

“I think I have my answer,” Lionel said solemnly. “The men will starve if not.”

I nodded. “I will tell Merlin for you.”

“Thank you, Arthur,” Lionel bowed his head to me. “You are my king.”

“Not yet,” I studied the ground. “If we can make it through this.”

“Arthur, it pleases me to think of you being king.” He set his hand on my shoulder. “You are going to do brilliantly.”

I smiled and stood, having nothing to say. I walked to Sir Jameson’s tent where Merlin still was. My strut was a walk of melancholy.

Merlin had become something of a cook and a medic in the camp. He was not so good at fighting, but he did his job well and nobody Questioned him anymore.

I delivered the message to him quickly and quietly and he simply nodded and shut the tent flap tight, making sure that nobody would come in and see what he was doing.

On February seventh, the British tasted human flesh.

Not one word was said the entire day. Hardly any sound was made aside from Elaine crying and leaning against Ellion sadly. Lancelot crouched down next to her and whispered something in her ear that made her smile. Ellion did not suspect a thing.

I sat with Lionel and drank the stew that Merlin had made quietly. I told no one this, but I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it too much. I contributed it to my lack of nourishment, or to my Pictish blood.

Sir Jameson had been a friend of my father’s. I hoped that the king would find out his fate after death and maybe at least feel a twinge of sadness. I knew he would not though; he did not care about anyone but himself.

Colorado Springs, America, 2011

Valentine’s Day.

The most utterly pointless American holiday of them all.

Or maybe I only think that because of what happened to me on my third year in America.

It was a tradition at Harrison for all of the science teachers to give the biggest test of the year on Valentine’s Day for some reason. My honors biology teacher, Mrs. Makow, was no exception; she had scheduled our entire genetics unit test for that day. We had been covering the topic since October, and there were forty-seven pages of notes in our notebooks devoted to it. In all, it would have been nearly impossible to remember everything unless one was willing to sacrifice days to study for it, which most of us were not. That happened to be a problem, however, because most of our grade depended on it. Then, I had a B plus in the class, which was dragging my entire GPA down, and the only way to raise it would be to ace that Valentine’s Day Test.

“I’m telling you guys, it’s a bad idea.” I said as I sat on Helix’s bed eating popcorn while I watched Ty and Helix play the video game the week before the big test. I was honestly just trying to put the things that happened there the previous night out of my mind.

“Why?” Ty asked. “You’re the one that’s obsessed with grades after all.”

“Helix’s mom alphabetically organized all of his assignments for him,” I sneered.

“So Helix is a Mama’s boy,” Ty laughed. “That doesn’t make you any less of a geek. I’ve seen your room buddy, you math draw.”

“Shut up.” I rolled my eyes. “It’s still a bad idea.”

“Look, Matt will just take pictures of the test tomorrow when he takes it and then send them to us for fifty bucks.” Ty relayed. “It’s not even technically cheating because we would have to remember the answers.”

“And what if we get caught?” I asked. “We’ll fail the class, or worse.”

“So we won’t get caught,” Helix said. “Pass me that bowl.”

I handed it to him. “It’s just not right. It’s like in a duel, agreeing to fight one way, and then breaking the rules. Like hitting below the belt.”

Suddenly Ty paused the game, he and Helix both turned around and looked at me. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Forget it,” I said and shook my head. “I’m just saying this is wrong.”

“And I’m saying this is the only way you’re going to get a good grade in the class,” Ty said. “Not even you are going to be able to memorize all that crap.”

“Okay, fine,” I sighed, I felt a wave of guilt wash over me and I ignored it.

“How much do we owe him?”

“Fifty bucks,” Helix said and urgently shook his video game remote like a maniac.

“That’s like twenty-three bucks per person…?” Ty said/asked.

“You have got to be kidding me,” I said and aimed an exasperated glare at the back of Ty’s curly hair. “Fifty divided by three is sixteen and two thirds; that’s about sixteen dollars and sixty-six cents per person.”

“And you say you’re not a geek,” Ty muttered.

“Shut up.”

“I don’t want it,” I said firmly as Matt tried to hand me an envelope in the locker room before winter football weight training. He was leaving the next day to go to Hawaii with his family for a week and a half, which was why he had to take the test early in the first place.

“Well, I’m not giving you your money back,” Matt said and shoved the envelope at me.

I took it and stared at it for a moment. In reality, it was just a piece of paper with some multiple choice questions on it, but to me in that moment it represented all cheating of any sort and my conforming to do it. I sat down on the bench and cringed as it squeaked under my weight. Matt left the locker room and about two minutes later I heard Coach’s voice echo through the chamber;

“Ector! Get the heck out here! Do you want to be on this team or not?!”

“Coming Coach Johnson!” I yelled back. I ripped the envelope and its contents in quarters and threw it in the trash.