If I Could Tell It

Central British Battle Camp, Britain, 647

I opened my eyes to Perceval’s face inches from mine.

Immediately, I tried to get up and we bumped foreheads.

“W-what are you doing?” I asked, sitting all the way up.

“I told you he was not dead!” Perceval yelled to seemingly no one.

“Who thinks I am dead?” I asked, I ran my hand down the back of my head and brushed twigs and dirt out of my hair.

I looked straight ahead to see Kay, Bedivere, and Ellion looking at me nervously. The last I had seen Kay he looked dead, laying on the dirt as if he would never move again. That was why I had tried to hurt myself, the guilt was overwhelming.

“Nobody thinks you are dead,” Bedivere said with a fierce look at Perceval. “I just said that you looked like you were dead.”

I stood up and walked towards them, I needed to at least try to make things right.“I am so sorry Kay. I did not mean to hurt you.”

“I am fine,” He said through his teeth, I saw a dark purple bruise forming on the side of his head through his ear length sandy hair. “Are you?”

“Yes,” I brushed off my trousers. “Before I...blacked out, I saw Lancelot, Merlin, and Lionel. Where are they?”

“They were never here,” Perceval said. “Ellion and I were just watching Kay and Bedivere shoot. We did not tell anyone about the fight or what you...did...after.”

“Good,” I said, letting out a sigh of relief. “Lionel does not need to know.”

I saw my sword in Ellion’s hands. I walked up to him, and he handed it to me. He said nothing.

“I need to talk to you,” I told Kay, raising my chin up to tell him that I wanted to leave.

“So you can hit me again?” He asked me. “No thank you.”

I gritted my teeth and looked at him with the most superiority I could muster. “As your commander.”

Kay and Bedivere exchanged a long look as he followed me toward where the camp met the edge of the forest. I stopped walking when I was decently sure the others could no longer see us or hear us.

“What?” Kay asked when I stopped. “You shoved me first, and that thing on your hand, you did.”

I glanced in my hand, they had wrapped it in cloth torn from a tunic to stop the bleeding. I needed to remember to thank whoever did it.

“What do you have against me Kay?”

We just made eye contact for a long, long while and I dared him with my eyes to speak first.

“I hate him,” Kay whispered.

“Hate who?” I asked, trying to match his tone.

“Uther Pendragon.”

I said nothing for a moment and then I spoke, ever so softly. “So do I.”

“He killed my father,” A tear ran down his face and across the scab that was beginning to form from the battle. “And he slept with my mother.”

“How do you know that?” I asked skeptically. Then remembered that I was trying my very hardest to be sensitive.

“Bedivere told me yesterday,” He looked at the ground. “He found out from the maid.”

“I am so sorry,” I said. “If it is any condolences I am sure I feel the same as you.”

“How?” He asked, shaking his head. “How could you feel that way about your father? You are his blood, blood means more than anything. You know that.”

“Maybe it does not,” I stared down at the beautiful hilt of Excalibur. “After my mother died, he told me it was all my fault. Then he started drinking...and...and sleeping around with other women.”

Kay nodded in silent acknowledgement. “Arthur, why are we here? Fighting for that wretched man?”

“We are not fighting for him,” I looked up at him. “We are fighting for Britain. We are fighting for all of the people who depend on us to keep them safe. We are fighting for people like Ellion, whose parents were killed by Saxons and sister taken hostage. We are fighting for them.”

“Ellion told us about his family…” Kay trailed off. “He said you were going to try to form a rescue party for his sister.”

“I am,” I agreed.

“Then let me be your first man,” Kay said and held out his hand.

I took it and smiled. “Thank you, Kay.”

We turned and began to walk back when he spoke. “Arthur?”

“Yes?” I replied.

“Good thing you did not hit me as hard as you thought you did.”

“Good thing.”

When we got back to where the others were still watching Bedivere shoot at the painted target, I told them that Kay was going to come with me to help rescue Ellion’s sister. Perceval and Bedivere both agreed to come; however, much to his disliking, I told Ellion that he could not come in case any of the guards recognized him and found he had committed treason.

After they had agreed, I went back to Lancelot’s and Merlin’s tent to ask them what they had decided.

“Kay, Bedivere, and Perceval are going to go with me.” I told them, sitting at their makeshift table. They had apparently neglected to go outside their tent that day because, as Lancelot had said Kay and Bedivere would bully them. I told them they were acting like girls. “And I will tell Kay and Bedivere not to bully you.”

Lancelot just glared at me. “Not everyone goes through life not caring what people say to them.”

I ignored his comment and persisted in convincing them to come with me. “Are you really afraid? We fought against them in battle yesterday and we won. Rescuing one fourteen year old girl should not be impossible. She is younger than you!”

“I will go,” Merlin said. “The men in this camp are beginning to act like animals. I would love a chance to get out.”

“Thank you,” I said to him, then set my gaze on Lancelot. “Come with me, my friend.”

“Fine, Arthur,” Lancelot said. “Fine, you win.”

I smiled. “Just think, some day you may be known as a hero. Sir Lancelot the Valiant.”

The six of us gathered at the north end of the camp, closest to the valley that we had fought in.

We were sitting cross-legged in a circle, which made me happy, on the grass. We had opted not to wear armor because it was louder and we could not move as fast in it in case we had to make a hasty escape that required an ample amount of agility.

“Perceval.” Bedivere said sternly. I noticed that Bedivere had taken sort of a brotherly approach to Perceval since he had gotten here. I suppose it made sense because Bedivere was three years older at seventeen and his and Perceval’s forte in battle and tourney were both mace. “You had better not tell Lionel about this. Or anyone else for that matter.”

Perceval shook his head enthusiastically. “I swear I will not.”

“Say it,” Bedivere said. “I do not want this to end up like the dead deer.”

“What?” I asked, I had obviously missed a story.

“Long story short, Perceval cannot keep a secret from Lionel,” Bedivere said without moving his gaze from Perceval. “Say it.”

“I promise I will not tell Lionel about what we are doing,” Perceval said, sitting on his hands. He looked like a child. That was something that bothered me about Perceval, he oftentimes acted younger than he was. Immature. I cannot stand immature people.

“May I speak now?” I asked.

Nobody else around the circle and all their gazes fell on me, so I assumed that that was there way of giving me the right of way.

“Ellion said they were keeping his sister, her name is Elaine by the way, Elaine, in the main Saxon tent, where the leaders are. He said something about their highest ranking leader being a woman,” I told them. “I say we locate where the main tent is and enter the camp from there so we have less to travel in the open. We should have two people enter from the back, nearest the forest, two from the sides, and two from the front, more as a distraction than anything.”

Nobody made a move to interrupt or say anything so I continued.

“The two that come in from the front should be the biggest, loudest, and most sturdy, the ones that can hold off the longest without backup.” I said. I made eye contact with Bedivere. He was as tall as Perceval and was the broadest of any of us right now. Hopefully as I grew that would change. “The two from the sides should be the quickest and most agile, the best fighters, if anyone were to take the leaders on an individual status it would be them…”

I trailed off and let my gaze droop to Merlin and Lancelot.

“The two that come from behind should be the quietest, the smallest, and look the least threatening. They will be the ones to ultimately take Elaine from the tent and back into the forest.” I bit my lip and fingered the hilt of my sword. “Now, unless anyone has any other ideas, we need to choose who will go where.”

“They should go from the back,” Bedivere said, pointing to Merlin and Lancelot. “Least threatening?”

“Poor choice of words.” I said when Lancelot gave me a look.

“Then you had better go from the front,” Merlin told him. “Loudest one.”

Bedivere glared at him and tension rose within the group. I felt it like poisonous gas polluting our teamwork and I bit my lip, frantically trying to come under with a solution.

“Kay should be from the side,” I said, forming an alliance with one of them would be a start. Positivity strengthens it more. “He is a good warrior.”

Kay bowed his head in quiet gratitude.

“Perceval and I are left,” I told the group. “One of us needs to go from the front and one from the side.”

“Perceval and Bedivere both fight with mace,” Kay said. “We should have more of a variety from each angle. Arthur should go frontwise.”

I looked down and picked at the leather on my boot. What Kay was suggesting was not part of my plan. I wanted to fight the Saxon leaders and prove that I was not a coward that ran away from battle. If I could do that I would redeem myself, both in my eyes and in the eyes of my men.

“I agree.” Bedivere said. “A sword and a mace will have more variability to the opponents than two mace.”

“Perceval is bigger than me,” I interjected.

“Not really,” Bedivere said, looking at the two of us. “Do you not want to fight with me?”

“Of course not,” I told him. I suppose redeeming myself would have to wait. “I would be honored to fight by your side.”

“Good,” Bedivere said.

“So it is settled then?” I asked.

The boys all nodded.

“We should leave now,” Kay said, “before the sun sets.”

All of us nodded again and I stood and waited for them to copy me.

“What are you doing here?” I saw Lionel walking toward our circle.

Bedivere and Kay made nervous eye contact.

“Hunting.” Kay said, he looked at Lionel, almost as if challenging him.

“This late?” Lionel asked skeptically. “With that many of you? What are you hunting for? Dragons?”

Kay and I exchanged a look.

“Deer.” I said. “We are hunting for deer. They come out at this time of day.”

“Really?” Lionel asked, he looked straight at me. “With your battle weapons? Those must be some deer.”

“Must be,” I bit the inside of my cheek.

“Perceval?” Lionel asked, staring straight at him. “Are you actually hunting?”

I saw Bedivere’s fist in the center of Perceval’s back. I stared at him. Perceval looked from Kay to Lionel and back again.

“We…” I gave Perceval my most steely glare. “We are going hunting…for deer.”

“Are you sure?”

I stepped toward him. “Sir, I was sent here to lead these men and that is what I intend to do. I mean you no disrespect, but if I say that we are going hunting for deer, then we most definitely are going hunting for deer.”

“I trust you Arthur,” Lionel said, he set his gaze on Kay and Bedivere. “It is them I do not trust. You know they strung up the organs of a dead deer in Lancelot’s and Merlin’s tent the other day?”

So that was the dead deer. Bedivere shoved his fist into Perceval’s back and he squirmed uncomfortably.

“I do now sir,” I said. “However, I am not one for childish antics, we are simply going hunting, now let us go please.”

Lionel and I made fierce eye contact for a few moments and I inclined my chin ever so slightly as a show of confidence.

“I hope you are successful.”

He strode back into the center of camp then.

“Do you remember the plan?” I asked, peering through the bushes at a dyed burlap, black tent flap.

“We remembered it the last hundred times you asked.” Kay said sarcastically. I resisted the urge to explain to him that I had obviously not asked them a hundred times. The most amount of times I could have asked them without it being my only speech would have been about ten and I know that I most likely only asked around three times.

I just glanced at him and then back to the tent.

“You ready to run?” I asked Bedivere.

“Ready when you are.” He replied and raised his chain mace up so I could see.

I gave him a thumbs up with my left hand and he just looked at me strangely. I forgot that that was from America. “Sorry. I am ready.”

He nodded and we crept to the outer edges of the group behind the bushes, me on the left and him on the right.

We looked at each other and I jerked my head up. Then I held up my left hand with three fingers up. Then two...then one...then we ran.

I sprinted around the side of the large black tent with my sword held out in front of me until Bedivere and I reached the front, expecting to meet a horde of Saxon soldiers that we were going to have to fight off. Instead we found it completely deserted. There was not even one guard outside the leaders’ black tent.

I looked at Bedivere and lowered my sword down to my side. He returned my gaze with a confused expression. I put a finger to my lips and crept toward the entrance to the tent. Still there was no reaction. Complete silence haunted the air, devoid of human noise pollution.

I extended the blade of Excalibur to the tent flap and the afternoon sun glinted on the metal. I lifted it and jerked my head toward the entrance to tell Bedivere to enter with me. As quiet as we could we stepped through the threshold of black fabric to what was the quarters of our imminent enemy.

My boots felt no carpet or artificial flooring covering the ground and instead were greeted by lush, springy grass. It seemed impossible that grass would grow so healthily in such a dark place because plants needed sunlight to thrive as I had learned that in my middle school science class. The only way it would make any sense would be if the grass was fake, however, that was only a thing of there. American falseness.

I heard a soft scraping sound and suddenly the tent was flooded with daylight. I raised my sword to the source to find only Kay, who had sliced through the side of the tent to make an entrance. We nodded at each other in silent acknowledgement. A few moments later, Perceval entered in the same fashion.

The four of us very slowly walked toward a table covered with an oversized red cloth in the center of the tent. As we came closer I saw that an unlit yellow beeswax candle in a steel holder was set on top of the table and an audible squeaking sound could be heard. A mouse perhaps?

Then I heard the tent flap at the entrance lift. All of us swung around with our weapons poised to kill as we had been trained to do for all our lives.

My blood was on fire from the adrenaline shooting through my body. It felt almost as powerful as the rage that fueled my movements in my fight with Kay. I felt invincible, I could take apart whatever it was that was about to attack. I both hated and loved the feeling at the same time with an improbable emotion of fear, excitement, and pleasure all mixed into a powerful potion that was coursing through my veins. I was set to kill, completely of emotion and not of mind.

There was nothing at the entrance. It was only wind that caused the flap to stir. I sighed and felt my heartbeat peak and begin its descent back down to only a bit above normal in order to still keep my mind and body awake and aware as it needed to be.

We turned back toward the table clothed in red and continued to creep closer to it, cautiously glancing around the dark tent, not knowing what to expect.

When we reached the table, I stood facing the candle. It looked as if it had never been lit before because the wick was completely white and the wax unmelted. The steel holder was plain, smooth steel and had no markings. I glanced back at my comrades and waved my hand over the candle just to see what would happen.

It lit as soon as my hand hovered above it and a tiny orange flame arose from the wick. I flinched in surprise at the sudden reaction and then looked straight over the table into a very pale face. Gray eyes, so similar to my own peered back at me with malice brewing within.

I stared into the face of my sister.