I will never be yours

Kian pov

We have been searching for her day and night these last four days but there is no trace of her. This has been my priority and everyone I could spare to look after her I ordered. We have looked through every part of the river and down streams for miles.

But nothing!

Her brother is heartbroken and at one point I had to use my alpha command over him to make him calm down.

I am sitting in my office and drinking whiskey. There is a knock on my door and Declan and Cannon walk in, they take a seat and I offer them some whiskey. They both pour them a glass.

We sit there in silence for a while, lost in our thoughts.

" you haven't felt anything? Did she just vanish up in the thin air?” Declan ask me.

"No not a thing”

" Does it mean she could be dead without you knowing it” Cannon question what we are thinking. Has the bond been so damaged from all these years apart that I wouldn't feel it if she died?

I just shrug my shoulders, don’t know the answer to that question. Taking another sip of my whiskey I decide it's time to call off the search.

" Call of the search Declan . We have looked everywhere and it's late in the evening now”

" But what if she is out there somewhere,” Cannon says and I shrug my shoulders

" Did you get any answers from the rogues that got caught?” I ask him and look down at my papers " They only said it's almost our time before they died. Nothing else, it didn't matter what we did to them. That was all we got out of them.” Declan says

And 1 sigh

We have to realize the possibility she is dead. I have lost her forever. I regret taking her away from her family and causing her this pain, if I could take it back I would.

Drowning the last whiskey in my glass I get up. My wolf and I need to go for a run.

"where are you going?” Cannons ask

"1 need to go for a run,” I say and walk out of my office.

" we will come with you,” Declan says.

I hear them both get to their feet.

"1 have to say she was a hell of a good fighter, taking them all out,” Cannon says and I feel pain ripple through me just the image of our little mate fighting the rogues of.

She was amazing!

And then she chooses to fall down the cliff instead of being caught. I am stunned by how brave she was! I never wanted this, and I know it is all my fault and I can't take it back.

"and not to mention how fucking gorgeous she was,” Declan say and a growl slips out my throat and my wolf takes over and we shift just outside the doors. Can't listen to what they say about her anymore! We just saw her again and then lost her at the same time.

Running away I don't care if anyone follows or we are alone. Just need to run. It takes a good while before I calm down a bit and start walking.

" fuck you run fast” I hear Declan in the mindlink.

I find us standing by the river looking over it. Declan and Cannon come walking up to me in shorts and hand me a pair, I shift back and put them on.

Sitting down on the riverbank and they take a seat beside me.

" What do you think kian? Believe she is gone for good?” Declan says

"1 don't know, I have never felt anything from her in all these years “ I never thought I would care what she did since I only thought of my mate who died. But when I saw her and understood how wrong I have been, I felt a connection to her I have never felt even with my first mate.

And now it's too late, I have no one else to blame but myself.

" Are you sure we should stop the search in the river?” Cannon asks

"1 don't think she is there and if she is it means she is dead and will probably wash up somewhere ” My wolf whimpered at the thought she would be dead.

" We have been searching everywhere and there is no trace of her ”

" But she is a white wolf and they are special, I have always read of those in the books saying they have been blessed with different gifts. What if she could turn herself into a fish and swim down the river or something I don’t know" Declan says

" That would be great if she could but I don't think a fish is such a good ability,” Cannon says and chuckle.

"Well I don't know, do you have any better idea?” Declan says and we all sit in silence for a while. “It would be great if she had any gift that could save her and she would still be alive. But I have never heard of that kind of gift” I honestly answer, don't remember that much of the white wolves we have read about.

We get up, it's time to go back. Taking off my shorts and shift to my big black wolf. Picking up the shorts in our mouths and start running back, it takes a while before I se the castle again.

That's when I suddenly feel pain in my stomach my wolf shifts back to me in the middle of the air and he let out a whimper.

The pain almost knocks the air out of my lungs and it stays for a moment. I stand there rotten to my place.

Declan and Cannon shift back and look at me.

" what the hell happened?” Declan asks

I am silent for a while, waiting for the pain to come back but It doesn't.

But I know what I felt, there is no doubt.

"she is alive,” I say out loud.

" What?"

"1 felt it, pain in my stomach. It was her! She is alive. I know it"

At the first moment I am glad to find out she is alive, but then it hits me.

My mate is with someone else!