I Rejected You, Alpha

AIDEN’S POV

—

My body can’t move as I stare at my mate just walking away, and after hearing what I just did…my b***d is pulsing in my ears, a headache forming right between my eyes , my teeth hurting with how much pressure I am biting down on.

She did this…she is the reason our baby is gone…

“Alpha Aiden.” the doctor calls for my attention, but all I can do is blink, I can’t breathe right, my mind is all over the place, anger has my hands shaking and my bones feel stiff, as if I might just snap and shift right here, tearing everything apart around me, but when the doctor calls my name again, I slowly turn around, which feels like it’s taking minutes to do.

“Your mate needs help.” she deadpans and I snort, shaking my head, “She needs help?” I ask, “How the hell does she need help?” I bellow, my hands shaking with rage.

“She killed our baby!” I yell at her and I am pretty sure Eleia could hear my words from outside.

“She did this!” tears form in my eyes.

“So tell me…” I step forward, but she doesn’t move, she stays calm and collected, “Why does she need help?” I raise my eyebrows as far as they can go.

“She’s falling into her old habits…by the looks of it, she hasn’t eaten in a week.. You wouldn’t have seen it with her bump because the baby was hiding it, but she’s thin. She’s dehydrated and she’s closed off. The luna is a very nice woman, she’s kind and caring, but she’s back in her old habits sir.” her eyes flick to the ground as my orbs grow dark.

I stand frozen, like my heart just stopped and when I take a breath, everything burns…

“She..she wasn’t living with me. We got into a fight…I…I didn’t notice.” My hand rakes through my hair..”She came home yesterday and we…we had s*x…did I kill our baby?” I frown and she shakes her head, “How long was the intercourse?” she c***s her head at me.

“All night…” I admit, looking at the floor in shame..” It could have been one of the reasons because the Luna’s heart rate would have been high, so that mixed with the lack of food…I’m sorry.” is her last words as I turn and walk out of the hospital.

This isn’t on Eleia alone, she said we should sleep but I kept on kissing her…maybe if I just stopped loving her and made sure she ate and drank water this morning…maybe the baby would have survived…” I don’t notice where I’m heading until I am at the border, looking back at my pack with sorrow eyes.

I need to be alone…

I shift and I start running, up the mountains, over rocks and fallen trees.. I don’t stop moving until I’m sitting in the cave my father and I found when I was a kid. I stare at our initials carved into the stone before I lay down, staying in my wolf form in case a rogue or someone passes by.

Days…

I have gone days with little food, catching a rabbit here and there, but I’m not really hungry and all I can think about is the loss of my child.

I sleep most of the time and the other time I just lay awake, staring at the sky and trees, watching the weather change and I watch tiny insects hop and fly around.

I have closed off my mind when I felt a tug at first and I didn’t even tell anyone I was leaving, not even Stefan.

I can’t imagine what Eleia must be feeling right now…She physically carried the baby and it is said that when a female wolf loses her child, she could feel their link break like a mate’s.

I bet she’s also just laying in bed, crying herself to sleep..not eating…

The thought makes me frown and I stand, my body feeling weak.

I manage to get myself home without collapsing and when I enter the house, Eleia is in the kitchen, the smell of food luring me in.

I find her standing barefoot next to Felix before she sits down next to him. Her head turns and she freezes, she doesn’t look at Felix , but she notices me from the side of her eyes.

“Hi.” I breathe out , but she ignores me and continues to look forward.

I sigh, grabbing shorts in the cupboard and put them on.

Felix is turned around, looking at me with a bright smile, “Daddy! Mommy made us some pancakes!” he beams so happily, but she just slowly eats, not bothering to look at me.

“That’s fun buddy.” I smile , walking over to him and he hugs me tightly, “Where were you?” he frowns and I ruffle his hair, “I was just busy my big boy.” I sit down next to him, looking past him at my mate who has bags under her eyes and tangled hair.

“Eleia.” I breathe out and he grabs her plate and stands up, “Daddy’s going to sit with you while you eat.” she tells Felix , kissing his head before leaving the kitchen.. I just can’t seem to help fix us.

I don’t understand why she is pissed at me when she knows that most of it is her fault.

“Do you want one?” Felix holds his plate out, his eyes sparkling and I smile , taking the smallest and I pop it into my mouth.

Maybe she just needs to cool down, to relax…

I thought she was going to sleep and not eat, but she’s eating, she’s out of bed and I only realize now that she had no time to grieve because Felix was her priority and I had left her here all alone…

She had no help, she had no one to vent to, she seemed so tense and angry and it’s my fault…

I wasn’t here for her because I was in pain too…

“Eat up.” I rub Felix’s back and once he finished and I sent him to his room to play, I go up to our room, slowly opening the door to find my mate sitting on the bed with crossed legs, her plate on her lap , tears streaming down her cheeks silently.

“Eleia…” I stride over to her, sitting down, “I’m sorry.” I reach for her hand, but she pulls back, not letting me touch her.

“Just…” she sniffs, wiping her tears with the back of her hand, “Just get it over with and we’ll go.” her words make me frown in confusion, “What? Go where?” I frown and I capture her trembling chin in between my fingers, making her look up at me. The bags under her red shot eyes make me ill. I don’t even look like that…

“Where do you want to go baby?” I clear my throat.

“You’re going to reject me, I…” she chokes on a sob, shaking her head, “I killed our baby.” she tosses the plate to the side , pulling her knees to her chest.

“I’m not going anywhere.” I drag my hand over her messy hair before scooting closer.

She stares at me with wide eyes, “You aren’t?” she frowns confused and I shake my head, “I won’t ever do that…” I pull her closer and she stands on her knees before laying her head on my lap.

I drag my fingers through her dark locks as she cries, her sobs are filled with pain, terror and tiredness.

“Just go to sleep.” I murmur , her body shaking with how hard she tries to stop crying.

I let her cry until she falls asleep and even though I am mad at her, that some part of me hates her at the moment…seeing her breakdown and cry, looking like she’s on drugs makes me ill, it makes all of the anger fade and it makes my heart clench.

Neither of us are alright and I am a hundred percent sure that we are going to need therapy to get through this.

After she falls asleep, I move her and tuck her into bed, closing the curtains and I put the air on so that she doesn’t overheat.

I k**s the top of her head before I notice all the laundry and the mess in the room.

All I want to do is join her, but instead I get working and I do the laundry, get someone to clean downstairs while I sit in Felix’s room, watching him play with his car track I built while he was living with Eleia at Stefan’s home.

Hours go by and I head upstairs to find Eleia just laying in bed with tears streaming down her cheeks.

“I’m sorry I left.” I stand in the door frame.

Her nose wrinkles up, but she doesn’t look at me while chewing on her lips.

“I shouldn’t have but I needed space, I needed to be alone.” I sound so selfish, like I didn’t even care what she needed, but I didn’t think about that.

“Tell me what you need.” I stride over, but she still doesn’t move or look at me.

The sound of her soft sniffs fill the room and it makes me hate myself.

“Do you need hot coco? Sleep? Do you need to break something? You wanna punch me for leaving, come do it, I can handle it.” I encourage her, trying to make her smile, but it’s not working.

I give up and crawl over the bed until I’m behind her. I drape my arm over the form of her body that is hidden under the duvet and hold her.

Her breathing is uneven and she just lays still, not saying a word.

I wish she’d yell at me, if that would make her feel better, but I guess she doesn’t know what will make her feel better.

“I love you.” I murmur and I close my eyes while laying with her, holding her closely.

Waking up alone , I sit up, confused as to when I fell asleep and I hurriedly go downstairs to find her and Felix watching a movie , both laying on the couch.

She just has this blank expression on her face, one I can’t crack or make go away and it hurts to know that I am failing.

I didn’t fail like Regan did, but somehow , my failure is worse than his.

I am her mate, I loved her since I rescued her and here we are, both brokenhearted by the same tragedy , so close in our home, yet far apart by heart and mind.

This house feels broken and the only thing keeping it together is Felix with his bright smiles and babbling .