Chapter 108
ELEIA’S POV
—
To say that what Arlen said hurt was an understatement, but I somehow do understand what Cleo feels like. I never met my real parents, not at an age where I could remember them anyway and I sometimes long for them too.
I knock on her door, since she expressed how much she liked her privacy. It’s quiet and then the door slowly opens, making me laugh, “I’m no serial killer.” I beam and the breath of relief she blows out while opening the door makes me frown. Did she expect someone else?
“What’s the matter honey?” I ask as I walk into her room. It’s hot out and she’s wearing a long sleeve shirt with shorts. “I was expecting Arlen, but he never knocks.” she sarcastically rolls her eyes and I giggle, “That I know.” I hand her the plate and she frowns, “Arlen went to the bathroom.” I lie and she nods, sitting down on the foot end of the bed and she begins to eat.
“So, I was up here and I heard you cry a little.” her eyes widen and she stops chewing, for a second I think she might just pass out, that’s how stiff she is, “Oh, it’s nothing.” she shrugs, “I was just frustrated.” hearing her coming up with all these excuses makes my heart ache. I want her to be comfortable with me, I want her to be able to talk to me like she use to…
“Are you sure?” I ask, sitting down on her chair at the desk. “Yeah, I’m actually not feeling that great.” she murmurs, “A cold?” I ask and she shrugs, “Are you sick?”, “No, I don’t think so.”, “Emotionally sick?” I ask and she simply just shrugs.
“You know, I’m also kind of feeling sad today.” I sigh, crossing my one knee over the other. “Why?” she asks between bites of her sandwich, “Well my parents, I always wondered what it would have been like to know them. My uncle roman, the former king, he’s my dad’s brother and sometimes when I see him…I wonder if he looks a little bit like my dad.” I shrug and her eyes narrow, “Arlen.” she sighs, rolling her eyes, dropping her toasted sandwich on the plate.
I tilt my head in confusion, “What about him?” I ask confused, “He told you, he’s such a tattletale.” she seethes. “Arlen didn’t tell me anything.” I shake my head.
I know it’s bad to lie to my children, but I also don’t want them to fight with one another. One day, Aiden and I won’t be here anymore and then all they have is each other.
“He didn’t mention anything?” she asks, seeming like she didn’t believe me, “I pinky promise, he came to ask for the sandwiches and then went to the bathroom.” I shrug, “Oh…” she tucks a strand of loose hair behind her ear.
“Does he know why you’re sad? I could go ask him if it would be easier.” I shrug, acting like I didn’t need her to tell me and I stand, “No!” she stops me, reaching her hand out to me. “I…I miss my parents…” she murmurs and then scoffs, “It’s stupid, I barely remember them.” she puts the plate down next to her. “A part of you will always remember them.” I force a smile.
I don’t even know if she remembered that night, the night her father died and I never wanted to ask anyway, but maybe…maybe if she knew that her father died protecting her, she would feel better.
“Do you remember what happened when your dad died?” I ask and her eyes widen. She shakes her head, her beautiful ocean orbs looking interested.
“Do you want to?” I feel like I shouldn’t tell her, but what if that is what she needs?
She nods and I inhale a deep breath, “Well we saved you from a basement…” I start off and her eyes narrow, “I dream about a basement sometimes, it’s usually smelly.” her nose scrunches up, “Oh it was. It’s your brain’s trauma that remembers…” I shrug, “And we were running from the people, they were mostly after me but your dad handed you to me to cross a river and when we were almost over, he turned to join and he got shot…He didn’t have any pain.” I add in hopes that it would bring her peace. “I ran with you, I didn’t know that I wanted to keep you at that time, but then I got shot and I hid you behind a tree.” I snort, thinking back at it now, she could have gotten really hurt the way I threw her. But she was much saver thrown to the side than being shot.
I remember the sounds, I sometimes have nightmares about that night.
“Aiden saved us,a guard brought you to my hospital room and ever since you didn’t want to let go of me, I knew that you were going to my little girl.” I smile, “How come you didn’t die when you were shot?” she asks and I know she didn’t mean it in the way of, ‘How come my dad died when it should have been you.’ but that is where my brain goes and it breaks my heart.
“I just wasn’t shot where it would cause my death.” I look down at my lap, straightening out my dress casually. “Oh.” she mumbles, “I didn’t mean it…”, “I know.” I interrupt her.
I know that she loves me, but I also know that she wishes she still had her parents, the people who made her body.
“I’m home!” Felix’s voice rings through the house in an echo and I glance at Cleo’s open bedroom door.
“I know it doesn’t fix anything, but to me, you are my daughter. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t my flesh and b***d.” I smile.
I want to tell her that Aiden isn’t Felix’s dad, but I can’t. I know it would make her feel better, perhaps closer to her oldest brother, but it would start a riot in this house.
Felix waltzes into Cleo’s room like it’s his own and I frown at him, his eyes immediately find mine, “Oh, here you are mom.” he smiles, “Where you looking for me?” I ask and he glances at Cleo, who’s awfully quiet all of a sudden.
“No, I wanted to ask Cleo if she had seen my ear phones.”, “Why would I have them?” she snaps, “I didn’t say you have them, I was asking if you have seen them, around the house.” His eyes narrow.
“I swear it’s next to your bed Felix, I saw them when I put your clothes on your bed too.” I shrug, “Oh, I wasn’t in my room yet. I thought I left them downstairs.” he shrugs, “Thanks mom.” he beams, turning on his heel and he leaves.
“I swear he’s so forgetful.” I scoff, giggling a bit, “Yeah, me too.” Cleo murmurs, “Do you mind if I lay down a bit? Maybe in your room?”, “My room? What’s wrong with yours?” I glance around, “I just want a change of scenery.” she shrugs.
“Oh, of course.” I smile and I head downstairs and she goes up to Aiden and I’s room.