SWNOVELS I Promise You: Chapter 33
“The fuck is wrong with you, man? That’s Grim’s girl. You’re lucky he only punched you.” Lopez nudges me with his fist.
“Ari is not his girl. Not anymore,” I seethe.
Rooker laughs at me mockingly. He pats my shoulder, then gives it a hard squeeze.
“Ari will always be Grim’s girl.”
I shake my head, wiping the blood off the tip of my nose. Motherfucker got me good.
“He granted you mercy,” Rooker says, disappointed.
“Damn, did he break your nose?” Lopez smirks. He thinks everything is a fucking joke.
“Clean up your act. Admiral Ravenmore doesn’t need to hear about this. As for your spot on the team, you’ll be lucky if you’re on the next mission with us. Danny will never work with you again.”
“I don’t give a fuck.”
“Clean up your fucking act. I’ve never seen you act like this. What the fuck is wrong with you? Risking your career for a girl? Stop thinking with your dick.”
“She’s not just any girl, and I loved her first,” I spit with rage, trying to slow down the bleeding from my nose.
“You’re right, she’s not. She’s Paul’s sister. And Grim’s girl. Know your place, son.” Rooker squeezes my shoulder and I shrug him off.
“Dude, you’re bleeding all over your uniform.” Lopez hands me a napkin, and I clean myself up.
“By the way, Meredith is here. You’re fucked, my dude,” Lopez whispers while trying to suppress his laugh. His dimples appear as he steps away from me.
I look up, and sure enough, she’s standing at the door. She’s murdering me with her eyes.
Shit. I didn’t want to hurt Meredith like this.
“Meredith,” I call out for her. I throw the napkin at Lopez and run past a quiet Daegan who hasn’t spoken since he saw Danny and me fight. He has his mask curled up just enough to expose his mouth and he inhales a cigarette in the corner of the porch, shaking his head.
Mother fucker never takes off his mask entirely, does he?
Creature catches me looking at him and blows smoke into the air.
“If I were Grim, I would have pulled out your teeth one by one so you could never bite again,” he tells me, his devilish grin on display, as he puts out his cigarette underneath his shoe.
Psycho.
“Whatever.” I scoff before chasing after a pissed-off Meredith. She’s taken off already, stomping away. Her heels click on the floor with each step.
“Meredith, stop.”
She keeps going, walking fast until we’re outside.
Coming to the ball separately is working out in her favor and the guilt eats me alive each time she ignores my pleads.
We’re in front of her car, and she scrambles for her keys. She lifts them from her purse, but they drop to the floor.
I grab her keys off the ground, holding them hostage, taking a step back. She leaps forward, trying to whisk them back out of my hands, but misses them completely.
“Give me my keys,” she orders me through watery eyes.
“No. I want to talk.”
“What’s there to talk about, Kane? I saw everything clear as day.”
“You shouldn’t have seen that, and I’m a fucking dick for doing this to you. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what, exactly? Are you sorry for kissing your best friend’s girlfriend? Or are you sorry for using me to get to Ari? Which one are you exactly sorry about?”
I don’t know what to say. I’m quiet. My nose throbs with pain. My back fucking hurts, and I’m choosing my next words carefully.
“I didn’t use you to get to Ari.” It’s true…I didn’t use Meredith as a tool to get Ari. I wanted to explore the possibility of a relationship with her, but now I know it’s not going to work.
“Do you love her?”
That’s an easy question, but does she expect me to tell her that?
I look at her, biting down, with my hands on my waist. She’s livid but, most of all, hurt. And I feel like I just hit a new low. This isn’t like me.
“Do you love Ari?” she repeats, stomping her heel on the ground once again.
I don’t answer.
“Dammit, Kane, answer me. You owe me this. Was it all a lie with me?” Her voice cracks, and it breaks me to see that I hurt her.
“No, Meredith. I have enjoyed our time together. You’re beautiful. You’re perfect, even, but—”
“It’s been her from the start, hasn’t it?” she bites out.
I nod. “I owe you an explanation. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, it just did, and I know that’s a shitty fucking reason. When Paul died, I promised to take care of her.”
“Exactly. Take care of her, not fuck her.”
She rolls her eyes, snatching the keys out of my hand.
“Good night, Kane.”
My heart sinks when I realize what a fucking insensitive asshole I’ve become since coming back from Iraq.
I forced myself on Ari. Then I broke Meredith’s heart.
I stand there in the freezing parking lot, alone. I kick a patch of snow, and flurries explode everywhere.
“Fuck,” I curse to myself.
I need to make things right. I fucked up and I hope to God they all forgive me.
I’ll reach out to Grim and Meredith when things are more stable and settled. I don’t think they’ll ever want to speak again, but I’ll keep trying to mend the shit I’ve caused.
I watch the snow continue to fall on the ground, looking at the empty parking space where Meredith’s car used to sit, and I pace back and forth.
I need Ari to forgive me…I can’t lose her.