I Married A Lizardman (Prime Mating Agency)

To Olix’s utter dismay, my period struck the following day, nine days before the next public market. Although I’d warned him of it beforehand, the poor man was a total wreck. I’ve always had a heavy flow, occasionally accompanied by nasty cramps and head-splitting migraines. I therefore couldn’t blame him for sneaking Molzeg into my room every time I’d go curl up in our bed so that she could make sure I wasn’t bleeding to death.

I couldn’t even get mad, he was so distressed.

My husband was such a cuddly teddy bear. He would massage my back and my legs to soothe some of the cramps, and my feet to help me relax—all based on videos he’d watched on the topic. I could already imagine what kind of mother hen he would be the day I became pregnant.

Even though we still had four months to go in our trial period, I already knew I wasn’t going anywhere. Olix was the perfect partner I couldn’t even have invented for myself. I was falling in love with him, and he was becoming my best friend. But our cultural differences continued to both make me chuckle and want to pull my hair out.

While he was beside himself with joy when my period finally ended after six days, he refused to touch me for another two days, fearing he might make me bleed again. Even though I’d explained the science behind it all, he wouldn’t accept that my body wasn’t low on blood reserves. Instead, he made it a point to feed me to bursting to rebuild my strength.

Sigh. I couldn’t get mad at that either.

On the third day, I lay down in the center of our bed. As soon as I heard him approaching our bedroom, I held a tablet in one hand while watching some porn at maximum volume, and started masturbating, my legs spread facing the door. When he asked me what I was doing, I very seriously answered that since my husband had lost all desire for me, I had no choice but to take care of myself. That night, I got thoroughly fucked by my man who was offended I would dare think he no longer wanted me.

Success!

On the eve of the next market, our lawyer informed us the charges the Conglomerate had brought against us had been dropped. Although they pulled all of their ‘Andturian’ products from the souvenir shops in both the spaceport and the tourist resorts, we didn’t drop our own complaints and lawsuits. Until the future of our clans was secured, and so long as the threat of the Conglomerate persisted, we wouldn’t give an inch.

The best part was that, thanks to our protected Prime species status, the United Planets Organization provided us with free legal services. No wonder the Conglomerate had pulled their lawsuits. They’d go bankrupt before the UPO on those litigations. Still, they hadn’t offered to settle with us on our own lawsuits. I had no doubt it was to avoid giving us a large chunk of money that would make us immune from their pressure for us to sell them our lands.

The following market also turned out to be a success, a better one even than the previous month. With the Conglomerate’s goods no longer competing with ours, plenty of tourists flocked to our Crafters’ stalls, their sales further aided by my so-called discounts.

For the reezia berries, I’d always wanted 50 marks a basket for myself, but had planned on bumping the price to 60 marks to cover the cost of the crafted items. When that Bosengi female had offered 60 right off the bat, I’d just gotten ballsy and asked for 70 instead. I’d nearly fainted when she’d agreed. So, there was no discount. They were paying full-price for everything, with a 10-mark bonus per basket for yours truly when bought individually instead of as a rack.

With the proceeds from that market sales and the ones I’d been accumulating over the past month from my store, I was able to buy a small personal shuttle. It could only carry four passengers and a small cargo, but it finally allowed us to go visit the other native species and come back home the same day.

Life was good.

It got even better when, three days after the market, Kayog confirmed that he could not only handle the job posting and coordinate the interviews on Meterion for us, he would also manage the relocation of the women, all of it free of charge for us. It turned out that, even though these were not marriage-based matches, it was still matchmaking for a Prime planet with someone that could help the development of Xecania. Therefore, the UPO would cover his fees.

I could have kissed that Temern. In many ways, Kayog was our fairy godfather.

With much apprehension, Olix and I presented the project of hiring third daughters from Meterion to work our fields. I nearly wept at the open-minded reaction of the clan. Like my husband, they bombarded us with questions for which we had all the answers, thanks to Olix’s foresight that we be thoroughly prepared first. While certain things still needed to be decided by the clan—like which of the locations we had proposed would serve as the human village—the project was unanimously approved.

The way a few of the males eyed my virgin blood still adorning my husband’s weapons and accessories, I suspected the single ones were wondering at the possibility of scoring themselves a virgin as well. I barely refrained from rolling my eyes. I didn’t know that any of those women would be interested in a relationship with an Andturian. Frankly, if not for my desperate situation, I wouldn’t have considered it. But once they started mingling with the people on a regular basis as they came to work here, things could change.

Time would tell.

Using my spiffy little shuttle, Olix, Luped, and I traveled to the other four clans to present our project, with the same positive result.

I was flying high, literally and figuratively. I hadn’t converted my new people to farming but, thanks to my expertise, I’d helped ensure a prosperous future for them and the children Olix and I would have. I wanted Xecania to be the next Meterion, but even better.

With the end of the first week of the month approaching, my heart constricted at the thought of Olix and half of the clan leaving for another great hunt and fishing expedition. The past five weeks with my husband by my side had been magical. I hated the thought that he’d be gone for two to three weeks. But that couldn’t be helped. Our meat reserves were running low, and the Conglomerate had indeed steadily increased the price of its imported meats. But they were a last resort. If it came to that, the plan was to purchase meat from the other native species whose hunting territories hadn’t been impacted like ours.

Funny enough, those species didn’t have farming lands. Coincidence?

With my first batch of beets, potatoes, squash, and tomatoes, I wanted to make the clan a special meal before their departure. As I wanted to include a few Andturian ingredients, I joined the Gathering expedition that was off to pick some jovam roots, among other things. With the clan’s blessing, I would now grow them as well in my field, so they no longer had to be this parsimonious in consuming them.

While I’d visited the forest since my arrival on Xecania, I’d never gone very deep into it. The handful of times we had—at my insistence—Olix had fairly quickly turned us around to show me other wonders of his homeworld. That had struck me as slightly strange. But I figured that, as a Hunter, he’d spent so much time in the forest struggling to find game of late, that it reminded him of the difficulties that plagued the clans. Anyway, his world had plenty of other things that would blow me away.

As I loved nature, this walk in the forest was a triple treat for me. On top of the promenade, I would get to see how the Gatherers chose which roots were ripe—including the proper method to extract them—but also the kind of soil and environment they grew in. Unlike the Bosengi berries and vegetables I had been growing for my store, there were no guidelines on growing jovam roots. I would have to go based on observation of their environment and the pH of the soil, among other things.

There were twenty of us, traipsing through the forest, little Nosha flanking me. She was so adorable, it took all my willpower not to pick her up and cover her lovely face with kisses. Seeing her and the couple other kids that had joined us made me ache for a child of my own. Truth be told, I’d been disappointed when my period had come. Olix and I had been extremely active sexually over the past five weeks. I’d been so sure we would have conceived. And yet…

Pawis headed towards one of the large aldomyan trees filling the forest. They were fairly spaced out, which made sense considering the size of the trunk and massive roots that spread deep and wide. Looking at the dark, almost black bark with dark red veins in the grooves, and their long, spiraling branches with wide, brownish red leaves made me feel like I’d walked into a whimsical world. A few different types of trees were interspersed among them, their trunks almost the same dark color, but their leaves a purplish blue or midnight blue hue. Oddly, while few of their tree leaves bore the standard green I was used to, the forest floor was covered in a large amount of greeneries, from very pale green to super dark.

It was among those patches of greens in the underbrush that Pawis began harvesting the root using some kind of trowel to loosen the earth around it. It took me no time to recognize the type of leaves that belonged to the jovam roots.

“The length and size of their leaves is how you know they are ready to harvest,” Pawis explained while picking another large root. “Try it,” he said, giving me his trowel.

I gladly proceeded, choosing one of the roots and stabbing at the packed earth around it with the tool to loosen it. The elder Gatherer’s eyes lit with mirth when it took me a few attempts, and then I struggled to pull the root out, even by putting my back into it. When I managed to yank it out, I stumbled a couple of steps back, which earned me a few giggles from Nosha and a handful of Gatherers nearby. Strength-wise, I would never compare with these guys. I made faces at them, which only made them laugh more before they got back to work.

I gave Pawis his trowel back and whipped out my portable analyzer to study the soil. With the large quantity of ripe jovam roots I could see just in this area, we would have a really nice haul today. While waiting for the analyzer to perform its magic, I gazed at my companions working methodically and efficiently, even little Nosha put me to shame with the ease with which she harvested a few roots.

Oddly, the upbeat atmosphere we’d started out with dampened relatively quickly. The happy chatter that always provided a lively buzz around the Andturians, whether when crafting on the plaza or cooking inside the Great Hall, had died down. Every face had taken on a serious expression—if not to say sullen—as they continued to work.

Glancing around me, I realized my companions were starting to move away from our current location, leaving a lot of mature roots behind. Pawis scrunched his face, his nose twitching. He stared for a second at the patch of roots in front of him, many of which were beyond ready to be harvested, but he turned around, his lizard eyes flicking this way and that as if looking for a new place to harvest. His nose twitched again, and he moved away, looking mildly irritated.

Although confused, I shrugged and went back to my work, taking a few shots of the other type of plants surrounding the roots—none of which I recognized—but that I intended to research once we got back home. That’s when I spotted a dark, gelatinous growth on some of the thick, gnarly roots of the trees and their bark. They almost blended with the trees, making them very hard to spot.

I squealed, rushing towards one of them, wanting to make sure my eyes weren’t fooling me. Alerted by my scream, a few of the Gatherers—that had begun wandering farther from my current location—came back to check up on me, a worried expression on their faces.

“What is that?” I asked Junit, a young male in his early twenties. “It looks like the wood ear mushrooms that humans eat. They are delicious!”

Junit scrunched his face, his nose twitching the way Pawis’s had previously.

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “This is a pest, a bad fungus on the trees. We don’t eat that. Stay away from it,” the male responded in an unusually clipped tone.

Without giving me a chance to respond, he turned on his heels and swiftly walked away. The handful of other Gatherers that had come to investigate gave me a stern look before leaving as well.

What the fuck just happened?

Baffled, I looked back at the fungus. Upon closer inspection, although it did look like wood ears color-wise, the shape was closer to snow fungus and the edges had a thin red fur that seemed to produce spores. I took a few pictures and brushed some of the spores to stick them in my analyzer. While waiting for the results, I headed towards my companions whose behavior was becoming stranger by the minute. They were now walking past entire patches of jovam roots, not appearing to see them or deliberately ignoring them. Nosha was standing in the middle of the small clearing, looking a little confused as she absent-mindedly rubbed her nose with the back of her hand.

“Pawis,” I called out, when I found the elder Gatherer just standing in the middle of the forest, staring blindly at the ground. “Pawis!” I called out again, louder, when he failed to respond.

His head jerked towards me. Eyes glassy, nose twitching, he appeared to struggle to emerge from whatever daydream he was falling into.

Something is affecting them.

“I guess that is all for today,” Pawis said in a disappointed voice. “It started out well. I had hope for a bigger harvest, but there aren’t enough that are ripe just yet. Let’s go home.”

Everyone nodded, many appearing relieved.

I gaped at them in disbelief as they hastily started to make their way back home. All around us, the plush leaves of tons of mature roots—some even looking like they would soon be overly ripe—were gently swaying in the breeze. I took pictures of the roots the Gatherers had left behind. Moments later, my analyzer beeped to announce it had completed its work, startling me. I didn’t need to read it to know what the results would say. A glance confirmed my suspicion: powerful hallucinogen.

Instead of the jovam root samples that I had intended to bring back to use as starter seed for my crops, I collected a few dark mushrooms. By the time I placed the fourth one in my bag, my nose was starting to itch, and a slightly nauseous feeling had settled in the pit of my stomach. A mild pressure at the back of my head hinted at a possible incoming monster headache.

Not dallying any further, I hurried after my companions.

By the time we exited the forest, the itching in my nose had receded, like the ill sensations that had started creeping up on me. The same was happening to the rest of the Gatherers whose sour mood had just as abruptly lifted, their more jovial demeanor gradually resurfacing, despite their disappointment at our poor harvest.

I made a beeline for my husband. He was working at one of the forges, Zoltar, and a handful of other Hunters and Crafters nearby, also working on preparing their weapons and nets for the upcoming great hunt and fishing expedition.

“Olix, we need to talk,” I said in an urgent voice.

All eyes turned towards me, my tone stirring curiosity and worry among the nearby clanmates.

“What is wrong, my Susan?” Olix asked, putting down the mold he had been making arrowheads in. “Did something happen during the Gathering?”

“Yes,” I said, my voice tense with a strange mix of anger and excitement. “There’s a hallucinogenic mushroom in your forest that’s messing with people’s heads. And I’m wondering if it could also be messing with the herds.”

A general gasp rose around me, shock and hope descending on every face. A part of me wondered if it had been a mistake to speak of my suspicions in front of everyone instead of using my husband’s methodical approach of getting all the answers first. But they would be leaving on a great hunt in the next couple of days. There wasn’t enough time for Olix, Luped, and me to investigate. The more people on this, the faster we would get solid answers.

“Explain, my mate,” Olix asked, taking a step closer to me.

Realizing something big was happening, the Crafters stopped their work, and everyone approached us, including the Gatherers that had just returned from the forest with me. I gestured at Kuani’s worktable, asking permission to use part of it. The female nodded, moving aside some of the housewares she’d been working on. I placed my sample bag on the table, opened the flap so that it would lie down on the surface, then drew out a couple of dark mushrooms. I left them sitting on the flap so as to not contaminate Kuani’s workspace.

The Andturians recoiled, many muttering about why I would bring this rot to the village.

“I believe this is the source of all your problems,” I said, pointing at the mushroom.

I recounted what I had just witnessed. Pawis and Junit gaped at me in shock, not recalling having any such behavior, nor did the others.

“And you wouldn’t because the hallucinogens were messing with your heads,” I said sympathetically. “Look at the people closest to the mushroom,” I added, pointing at them. “Their noses are already starting to twitch, and I bet you all want to get away from here.”

They nodded, flabbergasted. I placed the mushrooms back inside the bag and closed the flap, not wanting to needlessly indispose them.

“That’s the behavior I witnessed,” I continued. “I took pictures of the patches of jovam that the Gatherers all walked away from earlier, saying there was nothing left to harvest.”

I passed Pawis my tablet, and the poor male stared at the images in shock. He handed the tablet over to the other Gatherers and members of the clan for all of them to see, then grabbed his quills at the back of his head with both hands, distress and disbelief warring on his face.

“So many roots going to waste, rotting in the ground,” he whispered, floored.

“You couldn’t see it,” I said in an appeasing voice. “As soon as we left the forest, you all returned to your normal, charming selves. You did nothing wrong. It’s a good thing we left when we did because the spores were starting to affect me, too. Who knows what a mess I might have been then?”

“But why did it take longer with you?” Zoltar asked, with genuine confusion.

“I think it’s because the Andturian nose is more sensitive than a human’s,” I replied pensively. “Therefore, I needed to be exposed to the spores a lot longer before they started affecting me. There might be other reasons but, even though our noses are pretty long, our sense of smell isn’t that developed,” I said in self-derision.

That earned me a few amused smiles. The Andturians sometimes teased me for my unusual features, but never in a mean or hurtful way. To them, my nose made them think that someone had tried to steal it out of my face, but it was too well-attached, so it just remained pointy when the would-be thief gave up.

“You know,” Pawis said, looking like he’d just been struck by a new idea, “it’s been a little over a year since I’ve noticed the first one of these mushrooms. There weren’t that many back then.”

“I bet if we ask Surtas about these mushrooms, he will say they’ve been around for about two years,” Olix said, anger descending on his features.

Zoltar emitted a rattling hiss that spoke of fury, echoed by many of the others.

“The same time those vermin from the Conglomerate started putting pressure on us to sell our lands,” Zoltar said between his teeth.

I nodded. “That would be a very clever way to drive you out without getting caught,” I said, anger bubbling inside of me. “But we can’t just throw around accusations,” I cautioned them. “I genuinely believe this is what is driving away the herds. Judging by the basic analysis my device made of the spores, it’s an airborne hallucinogen that would affect pretty much any air-breathing species. It is abnormal that we didn’t encounter a single animal in the forest. There’s always life in some form, little scurrying creatures in the underbrush, others climbing and nesting in the trees. Even the birds were nowhere to be found except very high up near the tree line, away from the spores.”

“We had noticed,” Olix said. “We figured the same thing happening to the herds was driving away the smaller creatures. Now we know. Time to eradicate this rot.”

“We have the filtration masks we use when mining,” said Tokus—one of the wood and ore Gatherers. “We could use them to remove the rot and harvest the jovam roots.”

It was a clever temporary idea until we found a proper and permanent way of eradicating its propagation. We burst into action, everyone spreading while Olix and I contacted the other clans to inform them of my discovery.