I am Wolf

WOLF

I’m so fucking restless, stuck inside this goddam cage; I haven’t been able to sleep; how can I sleep? Whenever I close my eyes, the haunting visions of what’s coming in just three days have me sweating in panic attacks.

My beast won’t settle, not that I expect him to, given the circumstances. However, still, it’s like something else keeps aggravating him, gnawing at him and eating at me too.

I’m trying to understand better what has my beast on even more of an edge than before. Still, he isn’t communicating with me, just pacing up and down past the cage of my ribs.

His eyes are crimson, a complete threat that I’m worried he might do something stupid, like try and shift again. Right now, nothing he growls or snarls in my head makes sense.

Fuck, grabbing hold of either side of my head, I apply pressure, pinching my eyes shut. I need a moment of silence to think, but he won’t shut up in there. The constant growling and snarling, pacing and thrashing against my rib cage, has me feeling like losing it at any second.

What’s making matters worse is that I keep linking Sasha, but she’s not answering me; I know she isn’t in any physical danger because I would have felt her fear and pain. But occasionally, I feel a sharp pain shoot right through my head, like now...

Fuck! Urgh! What the fuck... It’s like my head wants to explode...

We’re pretty healthy creatures; we don’t carry diseases, and we don’t get sick. So this is definitely something being shared in our mate bond.

What the hell are you up to, Sasha?

The rumbling sound of voices entering the hole has me looking up to see Caius and that witch bickering like an old married couple; it only further fucks with my wolf’s already unstable tether; he’s so close to ripping through my skin that any slight nudge will send him right over.

Back off, boy, come on, you can’t lose it. Please.

A couple of Caius’s rogues are lazily sitting around a bonfire. I’m curious if they’re here to watch over me or be as useless as they indeed are; I’m going with the latter because what’s the point in watching me? I’m stuck in a fucking cage made to contain wolf shifters; where am I going to go?

The moment the deadbeats notice the witch coming closer, they make themselves scarce real damn quick, glancing at her questioning looks as they exit the hole like they’re unsure of their own safety around someone like her.

Fucking laughable, all of them. I think with a smirk as I shake my head.

“I don’t see how you can be so sure... sacrificing both her human form and wolf form; how exactly do you plan on pulling that off? She can’t be in both forms at the same time?” Caius grumbles irritably, but she merely waves him off, catching my full attention the second he mentions separating her wolf from her human form. My jaw tightens, my wolf trembling with rage beneath the surface of my skin.

“It’s a blood moon, Caius. Do you think me a fool? I’ve planned this since that girl was a child, so how about you leave the heavy thinking to someone more equipped to handle it.”

Caius spins around and glares at her as he lets out a low, threatening growl,

“If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t even have her in the first place; a bit of fucking gratitude would be appreciated, woman.”

Narrowing her eyes as she hardens her stare, a hint of something far more threatening shimmers behind her eyes. It’s clear who’s in control of this situation, and it’s not Caius, that’s for sure.

“Don’t forget how you came to be where you are, Caius. If you’re asking me to show gratitude for something I paid for in full long ago, the answer is no. I removed your problems in your life and gave you a window of opportunity that you would never have had if it wasn’t for me, and the mere fact that you were able to get into Erebus at all was because of me; it was because of the enchantment I placed on those betas that gave you the means you needed to get in, don’t ever forget who and what I am,” she sneers at him with disdain,

“How can I ever forget? You won’t ever shut up about it.” Caius grumbles, rolling his eyes at her.

Glaring at the witch, I can’t help smirking at how flippantly she just admitted to being responsible for what happened back at Erebus.

I grind my teeth, my muscles clenching tight as I force my head down; if I continue looking at her, then the battle I’m having with my wolf will be lost because shifting and ripping her head off sounds pretty fucking good right about now.

They’re still bickering, and I’m quietly sitting in this cage; my mind is stuck elsewhere now: the blood moon the witch mentioned, sacrificing both her human and wolf forms? I know she’s talking about Sasha, which makes me want to lose my mind.

The second thing that has my wolf edging closer to losing it is what I just found out about the two betas and how the witch cursed them. I need to tell Sasha; she needs to know. I mean, she deserves to know.

That is if I could fucking get hold of her, at least.

I try again, closing my eyes... I focus as I link her...

“Sasha? Baby, please answer me,” still nothing. Feeling seriously on edge, I blow out a heavy breath when I lose it and shove so much command behind the mind link that I instantly get a...

“Wolf, what the fuck! Stop alpha commanding me!” I blink in surprise, smirking in response because that’s not what I was expecting her to link back at all. I’m no alpha, and yeah, I might have put more command behind it, but it was only because she wasn’t answering me. Hearing her use filthy words just sounds off because it just doesn’t hold the same weight as when I do it. I was brought up fucking wild and feral; she’s far too innocent for that. Still, I can’t help linking back with a bemused grin creeping up against my lips,

“Well, hello to you too, princess,”

“Was that seriously necessary?” She snaps irritably,

“Well, you tell me, you’ve been the quiet one?”

“I’m just... busy,” she links back, her voice coming through far more snappy this time,

“Sasha, what are you up to?” I draw out the words, my eyes narrowing suspiciously in response,

“I... don’t know what you mean,” she quickly responds, smirking. I roll my eyes. Does she really think she can keep things from me seriously after we marked one another?

If that’s how she wants to play it, then fine...

Looking at the ground, I pick up a sharp rock that fits in my hand. Let’s see if my theory is correct; I decided to test and see if this works both ways. If I hurt myself, will she feel it too?

I stab the pointed sharp edge straight into the palm of my hand so hard it instantly draws blood. I don’t cringe as blood quickly pools in the palm of my hand; physical pain is something I’m used to.

“Ouch! What the hell was that?” Smirking, I grin when I realize my suspicion was correct,

“Felt that, huh?”

“Did you do that?” She grumbles irritably; I watch droplets of blood drip to the ground with a shrug when I link back,

“Yup, now let’s see, the sporadic migraines I keep having.... what are you up to, Sasha?”

There’s a long pause, which only aggravates me when I link her,

“Would you like me to do the same to your other hand?”

“Okay, okay! You don’t need to do that, jeez; I didn’t know it would affect you, okay I thought it was just me,”

“Sasha, everything you do affects me; we’re fated mates; we sealed the mate bond and marked each other, and I might not be an expert on the whole mate bond thing, but it’s clear that our bond isn’t the normal kind either, because fated bonds only reveal themselves under the full moon as far as I know, and ours didn’t, so stop bullshitting me, what are you up to, Princess?”

“Please don’t call me that,” she mumbles, and I can imagine seeing her rolling her eyes at me in my head,

“You were my princess way before we found out that you actually are one, Sasha. I’m so sorry, but it’s not going anywhere. Now stop changing the subject; what are you up to?”

“I’m trying to break this blasted thing’s hold on me.”

“What thing?” I link back in confusion,

“The moldavite stone,”

“I told you to leave that thing alone,” I grumble,

“I just wanted to see if I could project this power I seem to have inside of me as I did outside, but this blasted thing not only won’t let me shift but won’t let me project anything either,” She grits out in annoyance,

“Sounds like we’re both in the same boat, huh?” I smirk, and I hear her groan inside my head, having me grin at how cute she sounds when she’s annoyed,

“It isn’t funny, Wolf. I’m trying to break its hold, but I can’t get a hold of it; it’s like a slippery energy enchanted on this thing.”

“Are you sure you should be fiddling with it after what Caius said?”

“I know I can get it; I just... need some more time, I think. I can’t give up,” she murmurs as her voice trails off.

I’m about to respond when my beast suddenly snarls in my head; he’s been quiet this whole time that I’ve been mind-linking Sasha, but the moment I look up from where I’m sitting on the ground, I instantly break the link, Damien is standing there with a plate of food and a metal mug in his hands, and I’m immediately suspicious as my eyes narrow on him.

It doesn’t go unnoticed that Caius and the witch are gone, too, so I bring my narrowed eyes back on Damien when I give him a hard, questioning look.

Cocking a brow, Damien clenches his jaw and tries to intimidate me with his hard stare, but it doesn’t hold the same weight as mine; it never did.

“This doesn’t mean that I fucking like you, just so we’re clear on that because trust me, that will never happen,” He blurts out, and the corners of my mouth turn up into a smirk when I shrug,

“I wouldn’t hold my breath, so don’t sweat it,”

“Yeah, well, doesn’t seem like anyone else is gonna bring you anything to eat or drink, so...” Leaning down, he pushes a plate and mug under the metal gate, and my eyes lower towards it in surprise when I scoff,

“Thanks, man, so kind of you,” The sarcasm in my voice has him narrowing his eyes, but he doesn’t respond.

Running a hand through my messy hair, I finally move toward the plate; picking it up, I sit back against the metal bars before inspecting the food platter. There’s a piece of cooked meat, a potato, and a bit of bread; by the looks of it, the bread’s fucking stale, but when you’re starving, you can’t exactly be picky; I’ve learned that all my damn life.

Lifting my eyes to stare at him, I raise a suspicious brow when I mutter,

“There are better ways of killing me than poisoning me.”

Scoffing, Damien picks up his metal mug before sitting down almost back to back with me against the metal bars on the opposite side of the cage. Sighing, he takes a swig of his drink, swallowing it, and I can instantly smell the wolf’s bane in it,

“I hope that shit isn’t in my mug,” I mutter nonchalantly. Taking another gulp of his drink, he swallows it back when a low chuckle reverberates through his chest,

“Depends. Do you need it?” The humor in his sarcasm gets me when I smirk in response,

“I’d rather keep a level head if it’s all the same,”

“Fair enough,” He mutters before taking another swig of his laced drink. The food smells good, and my stomach rumbles in response when I lower my eyes at the piece of meat taunting me on the plate.

Wolf shifters eat way more than normal humans do; we have to because of how we’re designed. We burn off a hell of a lot more energy than humans, so when we recharge, that means an almost buffet of food as a meal.

“If I wanted you dead, I wouldn’t use food to do it.” Damien throws the rest of his drink back before placing the metal cup against the hard ground.

Turning my head to the side, I give Damien a questioning look when I smirk at that response,

“You know, you sitting awfully close to me, Damien. Aren’t you worried that I might, you know, strangle you?” I’m just messing with him, of course. I don’t exactly like him either, but that doesn’t mean that I want him dead, not unless he really pisses me off and gets in the way of my girl and me, then we’ll have problems.

“Man, you fucking strangling me to death would probably be an improvement on my situation,” He mutters with a dry chuckle,

“You sure you should be drinking that stuff?” I mumble in response,

“Don’t give me shit, Wolf; I’ve got enough on my plate right now.” He retorts irritably,

“Mason still giving you a hard time?”

Sighing, he grinds his teeth as he shakes his head,

“We had this huge fight last night after I left here; she was in my room when I arrived. She was going off at me like a fucking banshee, fucking giving me gears about saving her life; you would have strangled her. I could see it in your eyes, man, and she gives me shit over saving her from you? How does that work.”

“That’s Mason for you; the girl is relentless when she feels like you’re the one in the wrong, which is all the time with her,” I mutter with a low chuckle, scoffing. Damien looks down when he swallows hard,

“We ended up fucking each other like savage animals last night, and it was... amazing. Didn’t feel wrong to touch her that way; it was the most amazing feeling in the world to connect with someone like that, you know....”

Cringing internally, I don’t want to have to sit here and listen to Damien go into detail about his sex life with Mason, but I guess he needs to get it off of his chest, and I’m stuck in a cage, so I don’t really have a choice, do I?

I’m already regretting the question as it leaves my mouth, and I probably shouldn’t have asked it, so when I blurt it out, I really wish I hadn’t asked it,

“So what’s the problem if it was so amazing?” Smirking, Damien blows out a heavy breath when he mutters,

“Right after we both came with a thunder, she pushed me off of her, got up, got dressed, spun around, glared at me, and told me she hates me.”

Furrowing my brows, I cocked my head in his direction questioningly,

“But that’s normal; you know how many times she’s told me she hates me, man,”

“Her telling me she hates me wasn’t the worst part,” He mutters,

“So what was?” Shouldn’t have asked that question, I suddenly scold myself internally, call it a sixth sense, but something tells me I don’t want to know the answer to that fucking question. Sighing, he scrubs a hand over his face,

“The worst part was when she told me that I would never be the mate she wants, that I could never fuck her the way you did.”

Grimacing, I pinch my eyes closed for a moment. Yeah, that will do it; no man ever wants to hear a girl, let alone your fated mate, tell you something like that.

An awkward silence stretched out between us right at that moment, and wanting to face-plant my hand against my face, I couldn’t believe that Mason would have said something like that to her supposed fated mate. Man, that’s harsh.

“Fuck, man... I don’t even know what to say to that...”

“There’s nothing you can say because, as much as I want to blame this on you, I can’t. This is all her, and she’s already told Caius that she doesn’t want to be mated to me, and he agreed that she shouldn’t be with me. Honestly, I don’t blame her. Being fated to your cousin, man. How fucked up is that?”

Scoffing, I shake my head, not wanting to go there. Yeah, it’s pretty messed up,

“Did it ever occur to you that possibly you two aren’t actually related? I mean, I doubt that fated mates are inclined to incest.”

“Don’t know, and it doesn’t matter. Come the full moon, I have to leave the Erebus territory before the sun goes down; that way, the bond will just get severed, and we won’t feel the urge to mark one another when the moon is at its highest.”

“Wait, Caius, is sending you away?”

Scoffing, Damien sighs,

“My dad doesn’t give a fuck about me, never has, you know that. That time you beat me up, he was more disappointed by the fact that you didn’t end up actually finishing the job. He even told me that himself; he said I was a disgrace, a useless piece of shit just like my mother.”

Blowing out a heavy breath, I leaned my head back against the bars,

“Hey, Damien,”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry about what I said about your mom; I didn’t mean it.” Smirking, Damien chuckled,

“You weren’t lying, so don’t sweat it; I haven’t seen her in years. Don’t even know if she’s still alive....”

At that exact moment, I actually felt really sorry for him; I mean, even with all the shit I’ve been through in my life, somehow, I had been blessed with the most fantastic mate ever... Sasha is my entire world, and I couldn’t imagine a life without her in it. While my heart keeps beating, I will do everything in my power to keep her safe.

Mason suddenly shouts from somewhere in the distance, and both our heads whip up toward her in response.

“What the hell, Damien? Caius needs you outside; he’s flipping out over a perimeter check you were meant to do but didn’t, and instead, I find you sitting here getting drunk with him.” She snaps, emphasizing the him part. Raising a brow in my direction as she crosses her arms and cocks out a hip, I scoff when I shake my head and lower my eyes to the ground. Fucking Mason is always so dramatic; she’s nothing but an attention-seeking little misfit, except she’s always seeking attention in the wrong fucking places.

Scoffing, Damien shakes his head at her in response,

“You know what, Mason, fuck you.”

With that, he gets up and stammers forward; clearly, the wolf’s bane is doing its job; he’s already pissed.

A slight smirk has me chuckling softly as I watch him stammering toward her until he’s right up in her face,

“I don’t care about a perimeter check; if Lisbon is so worried about white lighter witches coming for their precious little princess, she can damn well do the permitter checks herself.” He sarcastically snaps at her; his drunken words instantly have me on edge when my head shoots up in their direction.

White lighter witches? What the hell is he talking about?

“Shut up, Damien!” She growls at him, but he merely brushes her off,

“And another thing, I don’t care about the full moon and the fated mate bond, and you know what Mason, I- Don’t- Care- About- You-” He mutters the words as he pokes a finger against her chest with each one. I’m expecting her to retaliate and start pounding his ass for saying stuff like that, but she doesn’t; instead, she steps aside and lowers her eyes. Wait, are his words affecting her?

Once Damien stammers off and he’s out of sight, she looks over at me and narrows her eyes as tears well up behind them,

“Is this fucking funny to you, Wolf?” I guess I still have that stupid smirk on my face, but I can’t help it; this is seriously entertaining to watch.

Making her way towards the cage, she makes sure to keep her distance. A wise choice because I still haven’t forgiven her for ratting me out to Caius; what exactly does she plan on gaining out of all this?

Eyeing me warily, she grits her teeth when she mutters,

“Don’t look at me like that...”

“Then how should I look at you, Mason?” I grumble as I cock my head at her. She rolls her eyes at me when she sighs,

“With less judgment, maybe,”

“I’m not judging you, Mace; it’s not my place to do that. I’m just trying to understand why you would treat him like he’s nothing when he’s actually your...”

“Don’t you fucking say it?” She snaps, cutting me off, “Just don’t; I fucked my own cousin last night, Wolf. I’m all into extremes, I’ll admit, but that’s messed up even for me,” and the pain in her eyes is something I haven’t ever seen there before, and for a moment, I don’t look at her with hate in my eyes, I genuinely feel sorry for her when I murmur,

“Is that what’s got you wanting to send him away for the full moon? Have you ever considered that you two might actually not even be related, Mace? Think about it; the true mate bond is so sacred that most shifters never even find their fated mates at all. You did; you can’t just throw that away...”

Swallowing hard, she frowns the moment she breaks eye contact with me and cuts me off,

“It doesn’t matter because come the full moon, the bond will be severed, and I’ll be able to put this all behind me.” Narrowing my eyes on her, my jaw tightens when I grumble,

“Will you, though, it doesn’t bother you that you’re giving up the one and only thing that will bring you true happiness?”

Narrowing her eyes, she looks up at me; when she grits out,

“No, because the man I want is you, not Damien.”

Straightening myself up, my wolf shimmers behind my eyes the longer I stare her down,

“You can’t have me, Mace; no matter what you do, I will always choose Sasha.”

Scoffing, she shakes her head menacingly,

“Not if she’s dead.”

A deep reverberated growl suddenly rumbles through my chest, my beast surging through my irises with carnal force, and before I know it, I’m lunging at her, gripping the metal bars in front of me, my knuckles going white with how tightly I’m holding on to them when I growl at her,

“Mason, don’t you fucking touch her. This isn’t a game...”

Smirking, she gives me a malicious grin as she begins backing up toward the entrance,

“If she’s out of the way, then there’s no reason why we can’t be together, Wolf.”

“The witch won’t let you get anywhere near her before the full moon,” I growl at her; my beast is going berzerk in my head, thrashing chaotically as panic creeps into my chest.

Chuckling menacingly, she grins as she keeps stepping back,

“Are you sure about that, Wolf? I can be very convincing when I want to be.”

The growl gets louder in my chest as it rumbles through my throat; I’m glaring with fire behind my eyes when I grit out,

“If you touch her, I’ll fucking kill you,” narrowing her eyes at me, she suddenly spins on her heel, sprinting towards the entrance without looking back,

“Mason!” I shout after her as I shake at the metal bars, fuck!

I instantly mind-link Sasha, but she isn’t responding, fuck!

At that exact moment, an overpowering headache hits me like a baseball bat in between the eyes; the pain is deafening as I drop to my knees, grabbing my head with both hands.

Fuck!

“Sasha!” I bellow so loudly that the metal bars tremble; I’m about to find a way of breaking these goddam things down one way or another when the pain suddenly stops.

I’m still panting wildly as my wide eyes scan around the cage; the pain is just gone...

Looking up, I notice the witch standing at the entrance staring at me with narrowed, curious eyes, tilting her head to the side as she eyes me warily.

Glaring at her, I grit my teeth, my wolf surging through me like a force of nature when I unleash an almighty growl at her, shaking the very foundation of this place and having her eyes widen in response.

What just happened?

Is Sasha okay?

“Sasha!” I link her with furious intent.

Nothing.