I am Wolf

WOLF

The floor is damp, cold, and hard against my battered skin; the constant slow drip in the distance and low lights clearly indicate where I am. I’m lying on the floor in the large communal shower.

I have to get up, but I know the second I move, it’s gonna hurt like a bitch. Clenching my jaw, I pinch my eyes shut when I finally roll myself over from my side to my stomach.

Fuck!

I feel it instantly, groaning; my body aches, and everything hurts. It feels like I’ve been hit by a goddam bus, and I know I’ve got broken ribs. Every time I breathe, something sharp pokes into my chest.

Wincing the second I push myself onto my knees, the stretch in my back has me fisting my hands, my entire body tensing as my jaw clenches. Resting my forehead against the concrete floor, I don’t want to move, but I can’t stay here; the events from earlier come crashing down when my beast unleashes a guttural growl.

I want to punch something; every part of my body feels like I’ve been dragged through a giant meat tenderizer.

Fuck!

I assume they dragged me in here while I was still unconscious, smirking at the irony. I guess I should thank whoever thought to bring me in from outside; how thoughtful of them not to leave my bloodied ass out there.

Scoffing, I want to laugh, but I know it will only send shooting pains slicing through my insides; besides, I doubt that any of Caius’s rogues give a fuck about me, so I doubt that I was left here out of the goodness of someone’s heart.

I slowly but surely push myself up from the floor with painstaking effort; I hold an arm around my ribs as I look down to observe the damage.

The black and blue bruises are melting into the purple and red ones like a fucking Picasso art piece; furrowing my brows, I decide I need to wash off all this dried blood. It’s intuitive, with the carnal tendencies of a predator, to know that blood means injured easy prey, and I don’t need anyone else coming at me because their wolves smelt all the blood.

I have to secure my ribs to ensure they are set correctly. Shifter healing happens quickly, and the last thing I need is to rebreak them, only to have to reset them again.

Looking down again to give myself a solid once over, I notice the dog tags around my neck, hanging midway down my chest. That’s when it all comes back to me when Caius put these around my neck. Smirking, I hold the flat metallic disc in between my thumb and forefinger when I shake my head in response, finding the irony of it fucking humorous. Dog tags, wolves, dogs... ha-ha.

It’s not funny, but I may have a twisted sense of humor because it is right now. The moment I chuckle, the sharp shooting pain slices through my chest, having me wishing I hadn’t. ‘Dumb ass, this isn’t funny,’ I scold myself, but I can’t help it because, all in all, I got my ass handed to me out there, willingly, and still I didn’t back down and take Caius’s blood oath, so take that old man.

I start dragging my feet towards a showerhead, dropping my grey, bloodstained trainers to the floor before kicking them to the side.

Turning the tap, the water instantly gushes out of the faucet, hitting my sensitive skin like icy needles. I wince, my body tensing when I groan. I want to be done here so I can sleep it off; my body needs to heal.

Right now, the only thing running through my mind is how I should get on my bike and get the fuck out of here.

Blowing out a heavy breath, the water finally starts warming up, and the spray has an involuntary moan rumbling up my throat as the water begins to run down my face and body.

I begin washing the blood away as the water at my feet turns to deep red; I have blood caked to my back, I know that much, but the wounds, as I said, have already begun to heal; it’s more the pain from the bruises and broken ribs that have me feeling beaten now.

Being a shifter has its perks; I’d say our quick recovery and healing are one hell of an advantage.

Grabbing the soap, I start washing away the rest of the blood when I suddenly have prickles forming against the back of my neck.

My wolf instantly growled inside me in response to sensing her presence from behind me; I knew it was Mason without even having to turn around. I know her scent very well, and right now, it’s only pissing me off more.

My body tenses and I keep my back to her; she’s the last person I want to see.

I wish she’d get the hint, turn around, and leave; I know she won’t. That’s not Mason’s style; she’ll poke the bear to the point where it attacks her because that’s probably what she wants me to attack her.

“Need some help?” She purrs, and I swear if I weren’t in a shit load of pain right now, I would most probably launch this bar of soap I’m clutching onto straight at her head; I was expecting her to say something stupid like that because Mason would be that dumb to think that I would be in the mood for sex after I just got beaten up by her uncle.

I ignore her. I’m tired, sore, and completely over this shit.

“Ah, come on, Wolf, it’s not that bad to be part of Caius’s pack. In the end, at least I was able to stop running.”

My wolf ripples through me as my muscles tighten; I’m trying to reign in the beast within, and Mason isn’t helping.

Leaning my forehead against the concrete wall, the water continues to roll down my bruised back, and at that moment, I know if I turn around now, I will end up hurting her; my beast is raging and rattling, just begging for me to let him out.

“Wolf, I...” But I instantly cut her off when I roared,

“Fuck off, Mason. I expected a bit more from you, not much, but a bit more than selling your soul to the devil himself. If this is the life that you’ve chosen for yourself, to follow Caius like one of his sheep, then do it, but I won’t. I will never take Caius’s blood; that isn’t why I came here.” My words drift off as they fade away,

“So why did you come then? To fight alpha packs, seriously? That’s such bullshit, Wolf.” She barks back. “You have never once wanted to stand up against the alpha packs, and now, suddenly, you’ve miraculously decided to change your mind. There’s something else going on here, and you know it; you want to belong somewhere, just like me...”

I slowly turn around, and my eyes are murderous as I stare her down; she just assumes that because we fucked years ago, now, all of a sudden, she knows what I need, the reason for me having my ass handed to me on a fucking platter earlier, has nothing to do with wanting to belong to a pack, but has everything to do, with her.

Sasha.

My mate.

My eyes are molten as I continue to stare into hers, and I can see just how much this show of dominance excites her; only Mason would find this to be a turn-on, or maybe it’s the fact that I’m facing her, water dripping from my face and my dick on full display to her prying eyes,

It doesn’t matter, though, because it’s as clear as daylight that she isn’t doing a damn thing for me, so why can’t she get it into her thick head?

“Get out, now!” I suddenly bark at her. My entire body begins to feel the heat of my beast trying to push to the surface, and at that moment, I see her gasp as she steps back, surprised. Shocked?

I fucking hope so.

Her eyes, however vast, tell me a different story; they are filled with lust, and I can see that she wants me to jump her, hoping I will.

And I want to, I want to jump her so badly right now; I can taste the burning sensation against my tongue as my canines begin to descend. But I don’t want to jump her for the reasons she’s hoping for; I’m afraid if I jump her right now, I’ll rip her throat out, then be left with that guilt for the rest of my life because the only woman I want to hold right now, is the one my soul is drawn to, the one I’m craving more than life itself.

Sasha Anna, fucking, Morrison.

I abruptly turn off the tap as I grab a towel lying on a nearby bench. Turning around to face her, I close the gap between us in a split second when I wrap my hand around her throat and flex my grip, holding her firmly in place. A gasp escapes her as her brown eyes widen in response, begging for something more. But I’m staring her down while trying to stop myself from tightening my grip because if I don’t stop now, I’ll choke the life out of her.

“Don’t ever presume that you know what I need,” I growl in a low and deep tone, which instantly has her swallowing hard under my firm grip.

My beast swirls behind my eyes before I let go of her, and without looking back, I quickly move past her before exiting the room.

I’m pissed off with everything: the mate bond, my devotion to a girl I hardly even know.

Fuck this shit; why should I care what happens to her? Why should I want to save her from Caius? I am a rogue, a loner, a fucking mutt, a nobody.

I have lived my entire life this way, so why should I care about a mate bond now?

Why should I care about Sasha?

Just thinking of her name makes me rock hard, and I immediately groan at how frustrated I feel.

I slam the door shut behind me the moment I reach my room before moving toward the bed. I’m still in a fuck load of pain, but I don’t care. Besides losing my mind right now, I can’t feel much; the sexual tension building inside me is driving me wild.

I need to sleep, but thinking of Sasha has me feeling horny as hell, and I know I need to set these ribs, or else they won’t heal right. So, with all this in mind, I reluctantly start digging in my bag for a t-shirt to rip to shreds; finding one instantly, I waste no time as I begin tearing it, making sure to be left with long enough pieces of fabric so I can wrap it around my torso like a bandage.

Lowering my eyes toward my ribs, I slowly run my fingers across the most bruised parts; everything seems aligned, which is good. Still, I don’t want to take any chances, so I wrap the torn fabric tightly around myself about five times before finally tucking it in at the corners.

Blowing out an exhausted breath, I carefully lay down against my back; it’s all but healed but still a bit sensitive.

I stare at the ceiling as I sigh; I don’t know what to think right now because what I know means jack shit compared to what I feel.

Sasha is in my head; she’s the only thing keeping me from falling apart.

I’m still lost in thought when the beeping of my phone gets my attention from inside my backpack; groaning, I lean down, every movement still slicing through my ribs when I pull out the phone before swiping my thumb across the screen.

I instantly freeze; the moment I see her name pop up with a message attached, it’s like the universe is playing some goddam game with me, except I don’t get the joke or the punch line.

I don’t know if I’m relieved or annoyed to see her message- relieved because it’s her, but annoyed because I’m starting to catch serious feelings for this girl.

Reluctantly, I open the message, and it instantly has me clenching my jaw in response when I read it,

Sasha:Hey, I just wanted to check in on you. Not because of the Caius thing, but I just wanted to make sure they’re treating you okay over there?

Scoffing at her message, I groan as I scrub a hand over my face. I shouldn’t respond; I should go to sleep. This girl has been nothing but bad news to me since I met her, and yet, swallowing hard, I can’t brush her off. I want to be the man she needs; I take a deep breath and start typing back.

Wolf:Hey, yeah, I’m fine. They’re treating me just like family; I’m very lucky.

The irony of that lie burns like acid to the core of my soul, but I can’t let her know the truth; it isn’t her burden to bear; it’s mine.

A minute later, another message pops up.

Sasha:Really?😐

Rolling my eyes, I scoff to myself. This girl, I think, with a smile creeping up at the corners of my mouth when I start typing back.

Wolf:You aren’t too familiar with sarcasm, are you?🤔

A few seconds go by before I see her message pop up.

Sasha:Yes, I do; I have a brother.😁

I can’t help chuckling at that message, which instantly has me wincing in response. My damn ribs, I groan to myself before typing my response.

Wolf:Oh yeah, how is Don doing? Still so highly strung?😏

Her response comes through moments later.

Sasha:Still the same, even more so because you still need to send him an update.

Scoffing, I roll my eyes before responding.

Wolf:Tell Don to relax; I’ll respond when I have something to report.

She doesn’t respond, and after two minutes, I’m about to pack away the phone and get some sleep when a buzzing sound comes from the phone resting against my chest. Lifting it, I swipe the screen, and the moment I read her message, my brows furrow.

Sasha:They’re not hurting you, are they?🙁

I swallow hard before typing a response.

Wolf:Why do you ask?

A few seconds later, her message pops up.

Sasha:I just had a strange feeling that something was wrong.😔

My jaw tightens when I curiously narrow my eyes at the screen as I read over the message again; I want to change the subject or not respond because there is no way she could have picked up on what happened earlier.

So I decided to change the subject, that is, I mean.

Wolf:So, how is Princess Life treating you?

It’s a complete one-eighty from what we were chatting about, and I’m hoping she’ll let it go, but I should know better about an alpha female. So, I shouldn’t be surprised when she responds with a cheeky response.

Sasha:I’m no princess, Wolf. And you’re avoiding my question?🤨

Smirking, I shake my head before quickly replying. She’s not just going to let this go, but I’m stubborn, too, so let’s play.

Wolf:Yes, princess, you are.😉

Her message is instant.

Sasha:No, I’m not.😣

Wolf:Well, you are to me.🙃

I hit send and instantly regretted sending it, fuck. I wasn’t meant to do that; I had sent it without thinking.

You’re such a stupid ass, I scold myself. But I’m instantly pulled from my internal shit-on session the moment the phone beeps.

Sasha:Wolf, promise me you’ll leave there alive?

Her reply throws me as my wolf perks up and pays full attention; he’s been giving me the cold shoulder since I got my ass handed to me earlier.

I swear this sudden onset of alpha dominance with him confuses and concerns the heck out of me. It’s like I constantly have to keep reminding him to know his place, which is as a rogue and nothing more.

I let two minutes pass before reluctantly responding.

Wolf:I’ve gotta go; we’ve got training first thing in the morning.

I know I’m brushing her off, but I have to. My phone buzzes, and I should know better than to think that Sasha would just let this go.

Sasha:Training?😯

Her message comes back almost instantly, having me blowing out a heavy breath in response.

Wolf:Yeah, training, sparring. I should be able to message Don by tomorrow with some information.

There’s a long pause before she finally replies.

Sasha:Okay, well, good night then.

Without thinking, I quickly typed out a message and pressed send. Fuck. Too late.

Wolf:Goodnight, princess; sleep tight.😉

She doesn’t respond, and eventually, my eyelids start getting heavier until I finally feel myself drift off to sleep.

~

I’m suddenly startled awake by the phone ringing on my chest. The ringtone is a foreign noise to me, and I grab it instantly and, through groggy, sleep-filled eyes, push the answer button, groaning,

“Hello?”

“Wolf, wolf, are you okay? Tell me you’re okay. Wolf, I swear I’ll come there myself and get you if you don’t answer me right now; you don’t owe me a thing; you don’t need to be there...”

And I’m instantly bewildered and wide awake as I sit up; the panicked sound of her voice immediately has me on edge.

“Woah, wait, what, Sasha? What’s going on? What’s wrong?”

Her voice is shaky and anxious; it almost sounds scared, and... fuck, is she crying?

“I saw you; I saw you in my dream.” She whimpers as she begins to sob, “It felt so real; I thought it was real. I saw what they did.”

At this point, my wolf is rattling frantically against my chest; her sobs are driving him right over the edge. I need to calm her down before he completely loses it and shifts here and now.

“Just breathe, calm down, Sasha, just calm down, please... What did you see? Please calm down; I’m fine...” I murmur, speaking to her like I’m trying to console a small child as I try to stop her from crying.

Sniffing, her whimpering cries finally begin to die down when she whispers,

“They had you tied to a tree, and they were beating you. They were slicing into you like it was nothing, all because of me.”

My stomach suddenly drops, and a puff of air escapes my lungs.

The moment she vividly describes the events from earlier, it feels like someone just poured a bucket of ice-cold water over my head.

How the hell does she know about what happened? She wasn’t even there; she couldn’t know, could she?

A lump forms in my throat as I try to keep it together; my wolf is howling in my head, and Sasha’s whimpering sobs have me feeling like I’m about to have an out-of-body experience.

How the fuck does she know?

Still trying to calm myself down, I take slow, deep, and calculated breaths when I finally respond.

“Shh, it’s fine. I’m fine, listen to my voice. I’m okay; it’s just the mate bond making you feel like this. Take slow and deep breaths with me, princess.”

Strangely enough, she listens, and unbelievably, she starts to calm down as she breathes in and out with me, calming her crying down to a few sniffs.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” She croaks out. And I’ve got to hand it to this girl as a smiling smirk begins to form against my cheeks; she’s persistent as fuck, a true alpha female, that’s for sure.

“I’m sure,” I quickly respond. I allow that lie to linger in the air because I need her to believe it; she has to think that this will all be over soon, and at that moment, I’m not sure whether or not I’m trying to convince her or myself when I say,

“I know it’s hard, but it will all be over by the next full moon. When the mate bond is severed, you’ll be you again.”

It all goes silent on the other side as I hear a quick intake of air pass through the microphone. I’m curious if she’s still there, as my brows furrow in response. But then she finally breathes again, and I visibly relax.

The moment her tiny voice whispers in my ear, it almost breaks me; when she breathes,

“And you’ll be free.”

The connection is suddenly lost as the line goes dead, and I keep the phone to my ear; I can’t pull it away as I gulp. I swear my heart stops beating for that split second.

Her words cut deeper than any whip or beating ever could...

An ache lingers in my chest, and I wish things could be different, but rogues and pack wolves don’t mix, especially not alpha she-wolves.

I have to stop this; stop thinking of her this way.

She’s not mine.