I am Wolf

WOLF

Caius leads the way, and before long, I can hear the raucous laughter and gruff voices of whom I can only imagine to be the rest of the rogues. Everyone goes quiet the moment we step into an open clearing, the hole as I would imagine.

Raising my brows, I take in my surroundings with surprised fascination. This place is pretty damn nice for a salt mine.

Suddenly, all eyes are on me with questioning looks and stares; some seem curious, and others look either agitated or indifferent to my presence.

I recognize a few faces and rogues that have been with Caius since I met him; they’re hard as nails and have equally rough exterior features that make it seem like they piss vinegar for a living.

Rogues, I scoff; you’ve got to love how welcoming they all are to each other, I think sarcastically as I smirk before shoving my hands into my pockets. It’s best to keep a clear head in a place like this, and by the looks some of the older rogues are giving me, it’s clear they remember who I am, as they were the ones who Caius ordered to kill me two years ago.

Great, I already feel right at home.

Caius suddenly claps me on the back, which instantly pulls me back into the present,

“Come on, boy, let’s get you a drink, then you can meet all the guys; we have much to celebrate tonight.” He chuckles lowly as he squeezes my shoulder, his grip firm as if applying some sort of claim over me.

If he knew the actual reason I’m here, however, he would have me killed on the spot and strung up in the centre of this fucking hole like some trophy kill he’s been waiting years for.

Feeling apprehensive, I reluctantly follow him towards what looks to be a bar; the hole is exactly what it sounds like; it’s a large open cavernous area, with smooth rock formations cladding the interior and surrounding what seems to be a gigantic fucking bonfire in the middle of it all, the pyrotechnic flames flicking up into the sky above our heads of this roaring wild show.

The heat alone has me instantly looking up and diverting my eyes; if I were standing any closer, it would very likely melt the flesh off my bones.

Fuck.

The minute my eyes fly up to the enormous hole in the cave above, I finally get it, ‘the hole’; I smirk to myself.

The area above our heads is so vastly open as it’s exposing the night sky; greenery from the trees and bushes surrounds the surface above, having it look hidden, even though it’s exposed to the elements. It’s been very well thought of; I’ll give Caius that much. The man knows how to build himself an empire, even if it is off the backs of slaughtered alpha packs.

My eyes pick up the movement of more rogues entering the hole when my brows furrow in response; I must have counted at least thirty to sixty rogues at present. Where the fuck did Caius get so many mutts in this place?

Men and women have gathered around, some seated by the bonfire and others scattered in small groups. Everyone is congregating around what looks to be a well-stocked bar.

The eyes on me before have since returned to chatting amongst themselves. However, someone’s eyes are still on me, a specific pair of eyes, particularly Mason’s.

She’s sitting down in a corner with a small group of other rogues, throwing back shots like it’s her fucking right or something. Raising a brow at her, I’m forced to block an unpleasant memory of the two of us a few years ago; when this girl drinks, she gets unpredictable and wild, and not in a good way.

Damien’s sitting right next to her, aimlessly downing his shot, with no purpose or direction, before wiping away at the residue against his ugly mug with the back of his hand, before whispering something in her ear, except she’s not paying him any attention, her eyes are locked on mine, her wolf swirling with a look I recognize, curiosity and desire. Two things I want to stay as far away from when it comes to her.

I immediately break eye contact with her the moment Caius shoves a metal mug in my hand, my brows furrowing in response when I raise a suspicious look at him,

“Drink up, boy; it’s good stuff; it’ll put fucking hair in the places you’re still lacking in.” Chuckling lowly to himself, like there’s a private joke I’m not getting, I look into the mug; as I swirl the dark contents around a few times, the first thing that hits my nose is the hint of wolfsbane, having my nose scrunch up when I groan with disdain; my eyes slowly travel up to meet his. Caius has this smug, sinister fucking look on his face. I know all too well what wolfsbane does; it fucks you up. Hard. Been there and done that; I got the fucking week-long memory loss of when I drank this shit as a reminder.

He narrows his eyes challengingly while he waits for me to reject his peace offering. Fuck sake. Now we’re in this kind of uncomfortable staring standoff, and it’s either drink this shit or tell him to shove it up his ass; what’s it gonna be?

“Wolfsbane?” I grumble in distaste as the smell hits my nose again; it fucking burns. Just smelling this shit does, and drinking it has a whole other effect.

Asking him the question alone should be enough reason to find this drink somewhat fucking comical because wolfsbane is poisonous to our kind. When we ingest large quantities of it, the consequences could be fatal, but in smaller doses, it’s like being fuck drunk and on acid.

Just great.

Caius raises a brow at me when he scoffs,

“Come on, Wolf, my boy, time to piss with the big boys now,” and I don’t like how he fucking addresses me as his boy; I’m neither a boy nor his, in any way or form. I’m here to fulfil a task, a promise to keep Sasha safe from these fuckers.

“It’s got a real kick to it. Don’t worry; it’s only potent enough to let you have a good time.” He winks with a sinister grin, which instantly has me concerned.

Yeah, right, old man, I would rather trust the devil himself with my soul than you, any day of the week.

“Thanks,” I finally mutter stiffly as I force a smile; saying no to Caius when no one else is around is a bad enough idea, but saying no to him in front of his mutts is suicide.

And I’m here because of Sasha; the thought of her sends a pang of something that aches deeply inside my stomach, my chest burning as my wolf becomes agitated.

He would do anything to keep her safe, and so would I.

What the fuck am I getting myself into.

I’m hoping he’ll lose interest in me and move on after the longer we stand like this, but no such luck; he doesn’t budge; in fact, it’s almost as if he’s waiting just on me to drink this stuff.

How fucking find of him.

And now, with more of the rogues suddenly focusing on me again, I’m stuck in a situation where I might wind up dead if I don’t drink it. Still, I might wind up the same way if I drink it. It’s an actual catch-twenty-two situation; I’m dead either way.

Here goes nothing.

As I let out a disgruntled sigh, I finally threw it back. The moment it hits the back of my throat, I know I’m in trouble.

It fucking burns like swallowing a cup of straight bleach infused with the flames of hell. I wind up trying to stifle my cough, but there’s no covering up this shit; I’m soon having a coughing fit, to which Caius and some of the rogues burst out laughing at my expense.

When I finally look up, Mason’s biting down against her bottom lip as her wolf swirls excitedly behind her eyes.

I need to get out of here and back to my room before this stuff hits me.

Composing myself, I quickly straighten up as I look Caius straight in the eye, my brows furrow as I narrow my eyes at him before muttering,

“I swear I remember that stuff a little differently the last time I had it.”

He let out a satisfied chuckle before clapping me on the back again,

“Well, a lot has changed in two years, my boy. We used to drink piss; this is what real men drink.”

I let out another cough, which has him bellowing with laughter as he smacks me on the back again; the hard thud against my shoulder blade treads a fine line between acceptable and crossing it entirely because my wolf suddenly snarls inside of my head like he’s ready to rip Caius a fucking new one.

The wolfsbane suddenly starts to kick in; I can feel it coursing through my veins, burning its way through my bloodstream.

The sensation has me swallowing hard when I begin to feel lightheaded; I know what comes next, so I better get out of here while I’m still standing because I can feel that this stuff is about to knock me on my ass.

Everyone starts getting really rowdy; the more they’re drinking, the louder they’re getting.

Caius is beside the bonfire telling tales of his glorious battles and victories over alpha packs that have dared cross him; I decide that this is my queue to slip away while Caius has his back towards me.

Unlucky for me, he notices my attempt to get away when he suddenly turns and calls out,

“Hey boy,” He bellows, and again, everyone falls silent as all eyes are on me; my vision blurs when I shake my head. It’s definitely the wolfsbane because I’m suddenly battling to stand up straight.

“Make sure you’re up early; we have sparring practice tomorrow.” He shouts; my brows furrow as I try and focus on him,

“Sparring practice?”

“Yes, it’s time to start training for battle.”

My jaw immediately clenches in response when I nod stiffly, lowering my eyes to the ground; I need to get the fuck out of here and to my room now.

I stumble forward as I hold onto the walls for support. The moment I finally make it to my room, I sigh with relief when I think that I’ve made it, but then none other than Mason steps out of the shadows like she’s been waiting there all this time.

Fuck.

I stumble back against the wall when I shake my head at her and grumble,

“What the fuck, Mace? You wanna give a guy a heart attack?” She simply sniggers when she stalks closer, her eyes dangerously zoned in on mine.

“Oh wow, someone can’t handle his wolfsbane, can he?” She purrs. Smirking, I roll my eyes at her when I grumble,

“Whatever, Mace, I can handle myself just fine,” but she suddenly takes me entirely off-guard when she shoves me back against the closed door; I instantly groan when I grind my teeth.

“Always so fucking forceful,” I muttered irritably. Smirking in response, she peers up at me, fluttering her dark lashes before crushing her lips to mine.

For a moment, I don’t move; besides everything spinning out of control, I feel absolutely nothing towards her, no carnal sexual urge like I might have had once before. Just nothing.

The second her tongue snakes its way into my mouth. Her hand dips inside the front of my slacks. My wolf, however, suddenly does a double-take when he growls at her. It even takes me off my axis for a moment, and before I can stop my beast, he shoves her back with force, the carnal threat of my beast surging violently behind my eyes.

Mason staggers back a few steps, a bit dumbfounded and in shock, before steadying herself and glaring up at me,

“So what? I was good enough two years ago, but not now, is that it?” She snaps. Narrowing my eyes as I stare at her, I’m trying to focus, but honestly, it’s like I’m seeing doubles, and I know I need to go and lie down before I pass out right here.

“I’m not doing this with you right now, Mace; go to bed,” I slur before spinning around and shoving at the door; it opens remarkably easily. I quickly shut the damn thing, I can still hear her muttering something on the other side of the door, an indication that she’s still there, but I need to lie down; everything is spinning out of control, and I swear the next time that bed comes around, I will be on it.

And that’s what I do; I suddenly crash onto the soft bed, my chest hitting the mattress when I groan.

I fucking hate Caius.

I need to close my eyes and sleep this off, but my wolf is on edge; I’m restless, my skin feeling all prickly when I find myself bending over the edge of the bed to retrieve my backpack.

Digging through the bag, I find what I’m looking for instantly.

Pulling the cell phone up to my face, I fall back against the soft pillows; I can’t believe how potent the wolfsbane in that drink was; Caius’s words come back to me about the drink not being as potent, my ass that wasn’t potent, Caius you lying bastard.

I leisurely start scrolling through the phone in my hand; I’ve got double vision as I try and focus when I notice that I have a message; my brows furrow in response when I read the name attached to the text. Everything stills as I blink, straightening up and swallowing past a lump now forming in my throat. I swear I sober up instantly when my heart drops into my stomach.

It’s from Sasha.

I remember her putting her number into my phone, but I wasn’t expecting a message from her.

I finally click to open the message as I start to slowly read it,

Sasha: “Hey, just wanted to make sure you were still alive.”

My brows furrow for a moment as I lay there staring at her message; I then notice it was sent two hours ago and wonder if I should reply now?

Taking a deep breath, I blow it out; I should chuck this phone back into the bag, turn over, and go to sleep. I shouldn’t want to engage with her; she’s an alpha’s daughter, and I’m a mutt; nothing good can come of this.

And yet, I can’t help myself; I’m drawn to her like she’s my choice of drug. The thought of my lips on hers has my stomach turning in knots, and I’ve never felt that way about a girl before.

Not ever.

I finally decide to reply to her, typing away at the keyboard on the screen; she’s probably asleep and won’t even read my message anyway.

Wolf: “Yeah, I’m fine, still alive and kicking. Don’t worry, I’ll find out what these big bad wolves want with you.” 🙂

Adding a smiley emoji at the end, I can’t help smiling when I read it back to myself.

I watched the screen for a moment longer, not expecting to get a reply when, not even a minute later, the phone buzzes in my hand.

Taken by surprise, my brows rise in response when I peer down at the screen. Everything is still spinning somewhat, but my wolf has me hooked on Sasha right now, so I blink in surprise when I read her message,

Sasha: “It’s not the big bad wolves I’m concerned about; I’m worrying about you. I can’t sleep until I know you’re okay.” 😔

Her message suddenly has me sitting up even straighter. I swear it’s the fastest I’ve ever felt myself sober up completely. All I can do for a minute is stare at the screen. Going over her message again and again.

I finally start typing back; I shouldn’t. I know I shouldn’t, but it’s just a text message, right? It’s not like I’m going to see her again. Once this is sorted out with the rogues, I’ll be on my way, and she’ll be safe to choose a mate worthy of her affection.

Wolf: “Well, you don’t need to worry about me; I’m big and ugly enough to take care of myself. I’m fine, I promise.” 😉

Expecting that to end it, I’m about to put down the phone when it buzzes in my hand again.

Sasha: “I can’t help it; it’s what the mate bond does to you, I guess. Good night, Wolf. I hope you sleep well, and if you decide to make a run for it to get away from those rogues, I wouldn’t blame you or hold it against you.” 🙂

A surprised smile suddenly creeps up at the corners of my mouth as I read her words repeatedly. But a tight feeling begins to ache behind my chest when I finally respond,

Wolf: “There’s no way I’m backing out of this; hey, the mate bond will do that to you, I guess.

Night.” 😉

All I can do is sit and stare at the bright screen before it finally goes off, a deep ache suddenly filling my chest when I swallow hard.

It feels hollow and unsettling. It’s a feeling I haven’t felt since I was a small child, still longing for the mother I never knew, it’s a sombre feeling of loneliness, but somehow it’s more than that.

It’s the bond tying me to Sasha; even though I don’t know anything about this mate bond thing, I know one thing for sure: what I’m feeling towards her is already getting more potent.

Clenching my jaw, I toss the phone back in the backpack before falling back against the bed with a loud huff. Staring up at the ceiling, I’m still on edge.

Fuck.

Closing my eyes, I groan, instantly agitated and pissed off with myself when reality hits me harder than a baseball bat right between the eyes; I am a mutt, a piece of worthless shit, and she is perfect, like a princess straight out of a fucking fairy tale.

As much as I want her, I know I can never have her.