I Am Rosaline

“You should not have taken her there. What were you thinking Dorian? This could put her off and chase her away. You know as well as anyone else she has no obligation to stay and help prevent Erro from succeeding in her quest to obtain the scrolls of the fallen. If she walks away from us and chooses to return to the Grey City, we cannot stop her. She could decide to remain there and study and meditate to move to a higher plane, and then what? She still has free choice, you know? Please, tell me, I want to hear your explanation.” Merryn sounded angry and flustered. I did not know what this was all about so I stood up and moved to the entrance of the tent where I stood quietly and out of sight to hear the rest of the conversation.

I looked back and saw that Samara was not in the tent and assumed that she probably needed to stretch her legs. I wondered how long I had been propped up on the pillows. I had not slept, but rather floated over the ocean and watched the dolphins playing in the sea and listened to the whales calling to one another and their babies. I carried the peaceful calmness with me when I got up.

“She needed to see the truth. How is she supposed to move on? How is she possibly able to open her heart if she has closed herself off because of the pain she endured at the hands of the man she loved with all her heart? It was a spur of the moment decision and it is one I will stand by. She was able to see his remorse and his inability to control the influence Erro had over him. Erro was there on the night he begged to have his life taken from him. She sat watching the whole episode unfold in front of her and not even that would soften her soul just a little. No, I am satisfied that what Rosaline saw was necessary. She needs to know what she is dealing with when it comes to Erro. I know it was hard on her, but I feel certain that she can start healing and instead of focusing her attention on protecting herself she will be able to tap into Erro and be able to defeat her. I have faith in Rosaline and I will remain at her side for however long is necessary.” Dorian sounded adamant and I now understood why he took me to my old life and my old home. He was right, I needed to see what had happened after I left with the children and seeing Erro sitting on the roof watching this sadness with obvious pleasure made me more determined to stop her in her tracks and prevent her from obtaining secrets she had no rights to. By all rights those buried scrolls belonged to me and other children of the fallen and if I was able to get to them and protect them from Erro and perhaps others like her, then I would do it.

I was grateful to Merryn for being my protector, but I also appreciated Dorian’s honesty. I may have hurt terribly because of his honesty, but I agreed that it would all turn out for the better.

I moved back to the cushions and relaxed against them again to await Samara’s return. She was a great source of comfort for me.

I did not wait very long before Samara returned to the tent with the assistance of Benna.

While Benna made Samara comfortable on the cushions, I took the opportunity to take a hard look at him and noticed that his entire body was hairless. He did not even have eyebrows or eyelashes. However, he used kohl to darken the rims of his eyes. When I thought about it, he looked like the figures depicted on architecture uncovered by archaeologists in Egypt. Yes, that was it. He resembled the servants of the pharaohs. His eyes were as black and shiny as onyx and his teeth as white as bleached seashells. He had a small, muscular frame and hands with long tapered fingers.

“Benna, where did you meet Samara?” I asked innocently enough.

He looked at me with his shiny black eyes and then at Samara before he answered, “Samara found me a very long time ago, Rose. In fact she saved my life and since then has taught me more than I could ever have possibly imagined.” His smile looked very genuine.

I smiled back at him “That sounds wonderful, Benna. How is it that Samara saved your life? I am intrigued.” I looked into his eyes and waited for his response.

Benna stood back and turned a little to one side. His whole stance changed, but still looked relaxed. “I am sure Samara will fill you in on our history together if and when she feels the time is right. I am but her servant and do her bidding.” I looked even closer at him and noticed a fine heat mirage emanating from his body. It was so fine I had to look closer to make sure that what I am seeing was correct. I smiled at him and moved to touch him on his shoulder but he moved from my touch like a scared animal. I was now very intrigued by this man and wondered what he was not telling me. I looked to Samara who was sitting quietly at our feet.

“Benna, you are free to talk about how we met and Rosaline needs to know because she needs to trust everyone around her. It’s fine, go ahead, Benna.” Samara told him in her soft and gentle voice, almost encouraging him to talk to me.

“Well then, Rosaline, I was in a very bad place in my life. I was the guardian and teacher of a beautiful young Egyptian princess who was killed while in my care. I was blamed for her death and my punishment was that I had to live with the knowledge that she died when I was meant to be protecting her. I was told to leave the village and I was only allowed to leave with the clothes on my back. I wanted to die so I headed off into the desert with nothing, not even water or food. I was hoping I would just perish in the vastness of the desert and my body would be taken over by the sand. I knew that my heart would never be the same and I would never want to be the same because I would be unable to live with myself after what happened. The princess was a lively, intelligent, beautiful young girl who would have made a very just and fair queen one day and I wanted to be the one to teach her all she needed to know.” He stopped talking for a moment to gather himself. I could see the tears in his eyes and the tightening of his jaw. It was plain that he was completely devastated by the death of this young princess.

I was interested, though, as to how he met with Samara, but before I could ask he continued, “I must have been in the desert for about a day and already had blisters on my lips and body from the sun baking down on me. I was dehydrated and sincerely hoping I would not come upon an oasis because I needed to punish myself for what I had done. I fell asleep that night on the sand. It was freezing cold, but I started to feel warm and I could not understand why so I sat up and looked around me.” Here he stopped and took a deep breath before continuing, “I saw this vision of beauty standing on the sand dune behind me. Her hair was like that of the blue-black midnight and her body was perfect in every way. She came to me and smiled such an angelic smile and started to speak. Her voice was like the choir of the angels and she said she needed me. She needed me because I was a teacher and a guide and she wanted my help. Listening to her voice made me want to give up everything. I had just to look at her and hear her voice and everything I had was hers. She was totally mesmerizing and I was taken in by her in that first moment. So I did as she bade me, almost as though I was under some sort of glorious spell and taught her everything that I knew. I taught her the art of war and how to use her inner eye. I foolishly taught her everything I would have taught my young queen. I was with her for a lifetime and for my troubles she gave me the gift of eternal life. She called it a gift, but I am not so sure anymore.” He stopped here and sank down into the pillows beside Samara as if telling his story had tapped all his energy.

“So, she is able to give you eternal life? If that is true, then surely she can take that life from you? She has a connection to you that you are unaware of and I am confident in saying that she can tap into you whenever she has the need. Am I wrong?” I remained standing and looked down at Benna.

“I found Benna when Erro had finished with him. He was on the brink of death. I listened to his story and helped him to heal because, you see Rosaline, just as you say, Erro can tap into Benna and Benna can also use that same connection to Erro. We need him because I am able to work with Benna just as I am able to work with you and we can use these connections to defeat Erro. The only difference is Benna cannot ward off Erro when she uses him. Her powers are unsurpassed by any other, but I do believe that she is most vulnerable when she is under attack. Therein lies the problem, you see, we need to know where she is to attack, but no one is able to get that close to her because she can feel when someone is getting too close. She knows Benna, and can sense him, but while he is with me, he remains hidden from her. Benna is also able to sense Erro, but unfortunately to find Erro, Benna would have to show himself to her, for which, I am afraid, he will be killed.”

Samara closed her eyes and dipped her head and I could see she was tired. She was very old and I didn’t want to push any further. Benna stood up and gently leaned her backward and placed pillows beneath her head. His commitment to Samara was to be admired. Clearly he loved her. I did not want to push the issue with Benna because it would upset him and I already know the pains of the past. It was not pleasant.

I left the tent. The sun was shining gloriously and the sky was beautiful and blue. I walked towards the river. I longed to put my feet in the water and feel the grains of sand pushing against my feet and between my toes again.

While I removed my boots, I wondered where Merryn and Dorian were. I squished my toes into the sand and it felt as though the sand was massaging underneath my feet. I leaned back and closed my eyes. I thought about everything that had happened and what I have been told. I still wanted to talk to Samara privately about my reservations about Dante. The same principles would apply to him as they did to Benna and surely Dante had a connection to Erro as well?

All of a sudden, without even trying, I found myself looking at the grey weathered wooden doors with the intricate carvings of mountains and symbols. From the depths of my memory I knew that I was able to decipher these very ancient symbols. I knew that they were telling a story and all I had to do was dig really deep and concentrate. I had to find what I needed and then use it to find my own way. I inhaled deeply and slowly blew a film of dust off the old wood. Beneath the dust, the wood was a newly carved brown and the carvings stood out clearly.

What I saw astounded me. The carvings looked completely different with the dust blown off. I could see the craters that Dorian took me to with the Gibborus inside. I thought that mankind was falling into the flaming pit, now I saw I was wrong. The carvings depicted the creatures climbing out of the craters and angels were trying to push them back inside. I moved from panel to panel and what I saw was a great battle, with an army of angels trying to keep the thousands of Gibborus from entering the world.

I remembered the wooden panels in the room I was taken to and where I had met Dante and Gabrielle. I went inside the building and up the spiral staircase once more. I reached the top of the stairs and saw that the door to the room I had been in, was slightly ajar. I could hear muffled voices coming from inside. I couldn’t quite hear what they were saying, and went closer. I recognized one of the voices as belonging to Dante, but the other one I was not so sure of. I moved even closer until I could see into the room. I saw Dante standing beside the bay window facing the person he was talking to. He appeared to be angry. I turned to get a clearer view and my movement must have caused a breeze because the door moved ever so slightly, but it creaked loudly. Dante jerked his head in my direction. He moved forward with a frown on his face and I wondered, yet again, whether he could see me. He looked directly towards where I was standing and was so close that I could see his face, hair and eyes. His skin was so very smooth and his hair was as black as I remembered.

“Is anyone there?” he raised his voice and it echoed down the passage.

I stood dead still and held my breath. He opened the door wider and walked past me to look up and down the passage then he went back into the room, leaving the door wide open. I took advantage of the open door and followed him into the room. He stopped to look over his shoulder then turned around to retrace his steps and shut the door.

I looked around to see who the unknown person was that he was talking to. Surprisingly there was no one else in this vast empty room. I looked in all the corners and behind the chairs, but still I couldn’t see anyone.

I turned around to see where Dante was. He was gazing out of the window almost in the same position I saw him in the last time I was here. I decided not to focus too much attention on him this time, but to concentrate instead on reading the symbols hidden in the carvings.

I moved quietly towards the panel beside the door and slowly took a deep breath that I released slowly and quietly. Gently the dust lifted off the wood and the symbols began to glow ever so slightly. I moved in closer to get a better look and surprised myself by being able to read the symbols, thereby revealing the story that they were hiding.

It didn’t take me long to move along the walls and repeat the process of gently removing the dust from the panels so that the symbols glowed. I was so engrossed with deciphering the symbols that I didn’t notice Dante moving around the room. Before I knew it, he was standing right next to me gazing at the panels with a frown on his face.

He looked around the room once more, then stepped back, “I cannot see you,” he said “but I feel you and I know you are here. I can see that the fine dust has been lifted off the panels so I can assume that you are seeing the symbols. If that is the case, I hope that I am correct in guessing that you are reading them accurately. You must also know that time is of the essence now and you need to take some sort of action. I will do as much as I can on my part to assist you, but you will need to be very sure as to what you are going to do and who you reveal your plans to, because there are those who cannot be trusted.” He went to the door and opened it again, leaving it ajar for someone to walk through without giving themselves away.

Dante’s words left me in two minds. Could he really be the one who gave away our position in the forest? Why would he do what he could for me? Unless he was playing both sides. I was sorely tempted to say something, but then chose to rather keep my thoughts to myself, and headed slowly towards the door.

A thought stopped me in my tracks. Who did Dante think was in this room? I turned back. He was looking towards the door again and I slipped to the side to stand beside the open door. I wanted him to think that whoever was in the room had left and perhaps the person he was talking to would show themselves again. I remained where I was, holding my breath and hoping he did not close the door again.

We both stood quietly for a while before he moved towards the window where he stood with his arms folded across his chest. After what felt like hours, but was only minutes, he moved away from the window towards the panel closest to him. I only noticed now that the panel had no carvings. There were a few of these empty panels that I just thought were there as breaks in the story. His hand glided up the side of the panel and I heard a faint click as the panel swung open and a figure stepped out. Thank goodness I was holding my breath so that I was prevented from gasping when I saw who he had been talking to.

Benna, wrapped in white cloth, stepped forward and bowed his head to Dante. What was he doing here! And how did he know Dante?

“Master, please forgive me for coming to you unannounced, but I feel that you need to hear the information that I have garnered for you.” He said with his head lowered.

Dante moved forward to put his hand on Benna’s shoulder. “You need no excuse to come and see me Benna, you know that. I am very glad to see you and know that you are doing well. What news do you have for me, then?”

“Dorian took Rosaline to the craters where she was able to see the creatures and then while they were there, two of the creatures fought. While this was going on one of the handlers arrived and broke up the fight, but then she punished the two creatures for fighting and you know what that means, don’t you? Rosaline was not meant to see everything, but she disobeyed Dorian’s wishes and looked upon their cannibalistic rage and, Master, the most important fact is she was not deterred by their behaviour. Dorian said that she was able to move away from the carnage and within a short time she was flying and practicing evasive moves. I know for a fact that even Erro had to take time to collect herself when she witnessed how those evil creatures behaved with one another, yet Rosaline came back to the camp and retired for the night.” Benna said all of this while looking at Dorian with a great deal of surprise not only on his face, but also in his voice.

I could not understand what all the drama was about. I saw what these creatures were capable of and I saw them behave in a cannibalistic manner, but I stored what I saw as information and perhaps to use in some way against the Gibborus. Did I have to explain myself to everyone? I decided that I wouldn’t. I would keep my ideas and feelings to myself until such time as I would need to use them. I could just as well ask Benna why he had not told me of his association with Dante.

“Ah, my good Benna, that is what I want to hear. She must not allow their disgraceful acts to interfere with her and her plans. She is very close to finding the burial place of her forefather and when she does, Erro will be active once more. I have a feeling that Rosaline is able to read the ancient symbols carved into the wooden panels and that she may have already been here to check over them once more. I cannot see her, but I can feel her and I have a very strong suspicion she is still here with us.”

At these words I looked at Benna. He looked like a caged animal, so tightly coiled that he would spring and start running any minute. He looked around the room with his big black eyes shining with fear and said, “What if it is Erro and not Rosaline? You cannot tell the difference and nor can I. Oh Dante, what have I done by coming here? I need to get back to Samara. She will need me soon and maybe I need to be with her. Please cloak me so that I may return unnoticed.” His body was shaking visibly as he spoke and I was sorely tempted to put my hand on his shoulder to try and comfort him, but decided against it for fear of the man crumbling into nothing at my feet.

Dante looked at Benna and said softly, “My dear, dear friend. I would never put you in harms way, be assured of that. It is Rosaline that is with us and she will be wondering why you are reporting her movements and actions to me. I do not want her to think ill of you, so I will say out loud why you are here and then I will send you on your way.”

He turned around and faced the window once before drawing in a deep breath, “Rosaline, I am unable to leave this place for fear of being seen by Erro. My dear friend here is of the opinion she is able to come here, but fortunately, this is not true. This is the one place she is unable to enter and therefore a safe place for me. You see, I know a great deal about Erro because I spent a very long time with her and during our time together we conceived and raised a child, a daughter. Her name is Sienna. Sadly she has her mother’s temperament and is full of rage because when Erro had used and left me to die, Sienna came looking for me. Sienna and Gabrielle found me at about the same time and Gabrielle knew instantly what Sienna was, a child made from two deceitful creatures that belong in the depths of those volcanic craters you saw. Gabrielle instantly bound Sienna, who, being very young, was weak against her powers. Gabrielle then requested permission to bring us both here where Erro is unable to gain access. The powers that cloak this place are as strong as the Master himself and nothing and no one can enter without His knowledge or his permission. We have been working with Sienna from the time that I was strong enough to face her. My daughter, much like her mother, is a formidable woman who has a strong will and mind. What I can do for you, from here, is make sure that those who are sent to assist you are the best of the best and have the same goal in mind as you: not to let Erro get her hands on the scrolls of the fallen. If you have any more questions for me please feel free to ask, I have nothing to hide from you.”

I wasn’t sure why, but I decided to remain silent and stay rooted to the spot. I would not give myself, or anything I knew away. What I had just learned from the symbols was not something I wished to share with anyone right now. I started moving slowly back to the door and chose not to look back. I had to get out of here and back to the camp. I knew what had to be done and I knew who could help me.

As I walked out of the room and back towards the staircase, I heard footfalls behind me, but I didn’t turn around to look.

“Rosaline! Please know that I am here to assist you in any way that I can. You know where to find me.” Dante said quietly behind me, but I again chose to remain silent. I didn’t have the time for this at that point. I needed to get back to the camp and tell the others that we needed to move into the mountains that very night.

I slowly moved back out of the building and hoped and prayed that my thoughts were not as loud as the beating of my heart. This was huge for me, because all of a sudden I knew what I had to do and I needed to bring Samara to me so that I could tell her my plan. She was the only one I would trust to help me set it all into action.

I moved as fast as I could. Erro would not wait for me. She was moving forward, and somehow I knew that she was moving in the right direction to where my forefather was resting. They were not buried in graves or tombs. Their bodies were laid out in caves; ice cold caves beneath the earth’s surface.

The symbols that I deciphered on the wooden panels were floating around in my head and I was slowly putting them together and forming a story that I already knew.

Dorian was a key role player in my history as well as Merryn. They had been with me through all of my lives and they had always been there as my protectors. Dorian was sent to protect me as a sort of test, and perhaps Dorian would think, as a punishment.

Dorian had come from the dark side, which now made a lot of sense to me, and he eventually made the choice to change sides. The coldness, flaring temper, aggression and the hissing sounds he used when fighting off the Gibborus were remnants of the dark side. I wondered whether I somehow had a little dark in me. The hissing and intense anger I sometimes felt in the pit of my stomach was a constant reminder that I was not completely pure of thought or action. Again, I thought, hardly angelic at all.

I was not sure of Dorian’s exact story, but what I did know, was that he was mixed up with the dark side for a very long time and it must have taken an extreme effort on his part to make the change. Was it possible that he could be lured back into his old ways? Surely he must have known that making the change would bring a lot of anger and a sense of desertion from those he had left behind? I had to give him the benefit of the doubt, though. I needed for him to see that I wanted him on my side because I needed his skills. I decided that while we moved as fast as we could to the mountains, I would ask him to teach me how to use a sword and also ask Merryn to guide me with my hand to hand combat. They were both very skilled soldiers and I would be foolish not to use what they had to offer to my fullest advantage.

I knew that I was getting closer to Samara because I could sense her, but something was wrong. I had to get back to where I was, but I knew that I had been moved from where I was. Who had taken me and where had they taken me?

I was getting closer and now I could smell fire. Smoke filled my nostrils and I started to gag. I could see smoke billowing from the area where we had made our little camp. As I reached the area, the first thing I noticed was that no one from my group was there. I moved over the smoke and went towards the riverbank. Again there was nothing. I started to panic and feared that I would not able to find Samara. I rushed through the haze of smoke and my own fear and panic, to find everyone and at last I saw Dorian in the sky below me. I looked down directly below where he was flying and I caught a glimpse of something white. I moved in closer and held my breath. I stilled my mind and my beating heart as best I could and hoped and prayed that my thoughts wouldn’t give me away.

“Rosaline. Come to me, come to me dear, dear precious one.” I heard Samara calling to me. I started to move in the direction that I sensed was correct. As I drew nearer I felt an urgency to continue moving and not go down to where I first saw the flash of white. There was something inside me that was making me doubt myself. I decided to slow down and try to clear my head and concentrate harder.

“No! Don’t stop, Rosaline. Come to me quickly. There is no time to waste.” I heard Samara’s voice invading my quiet mind. I followed the movement of the white beneath me in the forest. I noticed that the white was a cape flapping in the wind and beneath this was Samara’s horse. I would recognize that glistening golden mane and broad back of the mare anywhere. I could now hear her hoofs hitting the padded ground beneath her. As I looked closer, the hood of the cape that Samara was wearing flew off and I gasped out loud. That red hair was unmistakable because it was mine! How did they get me onto Samara’s horse and to ride it no less. That was not possible. Something was not right and I chose not to move in any closer. I turned and moved back in the direction from which I had come. I had made my mind as quiet as I possibly could and had my breathing under control. The only thing emanating from me, that I was fighting desperately to get under control, was my anger. A rage so vile was welling up in me, that I could feel bile rising up in my throat.

I managed to pull myself together and started searching for Dorian once more, but was hampered by a buzzing in my head that I couldn’t seem to shake. I forced myself to ignore the buzzing and eventually I saw Dorian very high in the sky. I couldn’t call to him because I didn’t want anyone to know that I was nearby so I moved silently upward. I was starting to feel very drained and the buzzing in my head flickered like a candle in a breeze. Whoever was trying to speak to me was working almost as hard as I was, trying to keep them out. I still didn’t feel right about things and tried even harder to reach Dorian. I could not believe the effort that reaching Dorian was taking from me. I had been able to do this easily before, but now for some inexplicable reason, I was struggling as though there was a force trying to stop me.

After a battle long fought, I reached Dorian flying silently and I put my hand out towards him. Just as I was about to touch his arm I saw his face. His white hair was blowing in the wind, eyes blazing red like coals in a fire and sharp, fine teeth exposed between thin white lips. I jerked my hand back and looked down towards where he was looking. The white cloak and fiery red hair flashed through the trees. I decided to take the chance and put my hand on his arm to see how he would react.

I moved quietly closer and when I was within touching distance, I reached out a hand and touched his shoulder. At first I didn’t get a reaction and then it was almost as though he put brakes on. He wheeled around in mid-air and I almost crashed into him. His blazing eyes looked around and then he looked back down as though he was going to resume his chase, but something stopped him. His eyes faded from blazing, bright red to his usual very light blue. His features calmed and his mouth once again set into a surly smirk. Looking around again he pointed to the west and said, “Just go! Head in that direction and don’t stop. Go, now!”

His voice sounded almost dead and I wondered why he said ‘that direction’ instead of West. Maybe because the person he was following could hear him? Without questioning him I headed off in the direction in which he had pointed. I moved as fast and as quietly as I could. I could not believe how tired I was. The effort was exhausting and I felt incredibly strange. It seemed as though the more I learned and the further I moved towards my goal, the more emotions I started to feel that I thought I no longer had.

I continued flying quietly in a westerly direction. I kept my emotions, thoughts and breathing under close wraps as I searched the hills and woodlands. Where were they? Where were Samara, Benna and Merryn? I couldn’t help but worry for their safety.

Just as I began to feel that all was lost, I saw motion in the distance. I focused and could see dust and movement, and then, flying a little below me, I saw the biggest, dark wings and knew that those could only belong to Merryn. I was so relieved to see him I almost let my guard down and called out to him, but I quickly realized how foolish that would be. I would end up calling unwanted attention to my friends and myself, so I remained silent and pushed myself harder to make up the distance between us.

I needed to find my body, and I could only imagine that it was with Samara and Benna, so instead of heading towards Merryn, as I so wanted to do, I headed towards the fine dust trail below me.

Not too long after, I saw Samara with my body draped over the neck of her beautiful horse. Her horse! How was that possible? I had just seen the animal racing in the opposite direction. Putting aside these thoughts I looked at my body that Samara was clutching at. Sweet mercy, my body was jolting around like a rag and I was sure that I was going to find it very uncomfortable.

I got within a few feet and felt myself being pulled toward my body. It was a connection like a magnet, as soon as you drew close enough, nothing could stop the two from coming together.

In the time it took to blink, my body and I became one again. My eyes sprang open and I pushed myself off the galloping horse and landed on the soft sand feet first, but then fell backwards onto my backside with a loud thump. Not very dignified, but at least I was in one piece, I hoped. Right now I did not have time to talk to Samara. As much as I wanted to reveal my plans to her, right now was not the time.

I scrambled to my feet and as I started running, I unfurled my wings and lifted swiftly off the ground. I flew forward, but at the same time moved higher and higher until I was able to see Merryn. I felt absolutely relieved to see him. He looked at me and smiled his beautiful smile and pointed ahead to the ice-capped mountains ahead of us.

I nodded my head in response and to let him know that I was aware of where we needed to go. I looked down at Samara and looked questioningly back at Merryn because I had not been able to see Benna and wondered where he was. Merryn looked at me with sad eyes then shook his head and looked away. We would have time enough to talk soon and I would find out all that had happened while I was deciphering the symbols on the wooden panels.