Hunter's Secret

Titus’ POV

“Titus, did you hear me? I’m pregnant. You are going to be a dad.”

The information takes me by surprise but that quickly turns to joy, and I sit up and kiss her. She kisses me back, but this kiss is different than the fiery ones before.

“What’s wrong, Lillian? Are you not happy?” I question, not sure I really want to hear the answer.

“Titus, of course I am happy. But I am also terrified. And sad. And unprepared for a baby. I am only eighteen and I guess I just planned to do something other than be a mom for a while.”

“I understand. I feel those things too. It will be okay though. We can do this. I know we are both young, but we can do this. We can do this,” I take a deep breath.

“I know. This is just really fast. I need time to process everything. This will be a big change for us.”

I lay back down on her lap again and can barely believe I am going to be a dad. Wow. Maybe we should have been more careful. But what’s done is done so now we just will need to figure it out. I need to get this pack in order and fast.

She continues to twirl my hair around her fingers while I daydream about what it will be like to be a dad. To have a mini me or mini her running around makes me smile. I know she is nervous, but I see her smile too.

We started setting up a nursery in the spare room across the hall from our bedroom. Werewolves are only pregnant for 6 months, so we had to prepare quickly. She was already three weeks along when she told me. Within a few weeks she started showing her little baby bump and we were both getting really excited. When I felt the baby kick for the first time, I could barely believe that I was feeling a little life inside my beautiful mate’s belly. It is hard to describe. We bought so many things for the little pup that I don’t even remember everything we got. The time just seemed to fly by and with everything in a frenzy, I realized I hadn’t been to visit my mother in a while.

Lillian and I decided to go to my mother’s house a few weeks before her three-month scan. I quietly knocked on her door and she invited us in.

“My baby boy, it is so good to see you! I have missed seeing your handsome face,” she said, pulling me in for a hug. Turning to Lillian, “And Lillian, you are simply glowing. You are so beautiful honey. How did he get so lucky to have such a wonderful mate as you?”

“I am truly the lucky one, Mrs. Black. You raised a very good son. I can only hope to be as good of a mother as you are.”

My mother goes to give Lillian a hug as well but loses her balance slightly. I quickly catch her and help her to get comfortable in her chair.

“How are you feeling today?” I try but fail to keep the concern out of my voice. Lillian notices and loops her arm with mine.

“I am feeling much better that you two are here! How far along are you now dear?”

“Two and a half months. We are looking forward to the three-month scan and I am looking forward to being able to hold the little pup in my arms,” Lillian sweetly answers.

“Only a few more months now darling. I know it gets hard, but you can do this. Plus, if my son misbehaves, come tell me and I will,” she pauses, “do something! I don’t know what but something!”

We all laugh at her spunkiness, something I haven’t seen for a while. She has good days and bad days. But today is a good day. We all sit down and catch up on life. I watch as my mate and my mother talk about all things related to motherhood, and I just sit back and smile. I am so grateful for my mother and even though I know her time is limited; it just makes me treasure these little moments with her even more.

***Two weeks later***

“You ready, love? We need to head to the doctor’s office for your three-month scan. You are halfway there now,” I attempt to encourage her. The last two weeks have been really hard on her body, and even though we have three months left, she is ready to have this pup now. I have been doing my best to make sure I don’t upset her, but it sometimes feels like I am fighting a losing battle. I know it is the hormones and emotions but sometimes even my breathing annoys her.

“I’m ready enough. Let’s go. And telling me that I am only halfway when I look like I have five pups in here is not helpful.” She flatly responds and heads out of our bedroom.

I follow her and grab her hand, trying to provide some comfort. Thankfully, the doctor’s office is only a few minutes away, so we get there quickly and because she is my mate, she immediately gets a room. She slips into a gown and gets on the bed. I sit down next to the bed and gently hold her hand, rubbing my thumb over hers. We are supposed to find out the sex of our little growing pup today too.

The nurse comes in and sets up the ultrasound machine. It isn’t a nurse we have had before. Lifting Lillian’s gown, she squeezes the gel onto her belly and starts the scan. After fiddling around for a minute, she excuses herself and goes to get another nurse. I recognize this one as the one we had last time. She squeezes some more gel and starts the scan, turning the screen away from us and moving the wand slowly over Lillian’s belly. I swear I see a look of concern shoot across the nurse’s face, but it disappears just as quickly as it appeared. She sets the wand down and excuses herself too, saying she is going to get the doctor. I look over to Lillian and she is blinking back tears.

“I am sure it is fine, love. I think they are just having a hard time getting the scan to show up on the screen.”

“You are probably right. I am just emotional all the time right now.”

I bring her hand up to my lips and softly kiss her hand. I try to help both of us focus our breathing. The doctor comes in and greets us before she too starts up the scan. After what feels like forever, she sets the wand down and says,

“Alpha, Luna, I am sorry, but I can’t find a heartbeat.”

Standing up, I growl, “Try again!”

Unfazed by my growl, she explains, “Myself and both nurses did try. There is no heartbeat, you have had a miscarriage. I am so sorry.”

I go to yell at her again but am interrupted by Lillian choking back a sob. I quickly turn back around and move to hold her.

“I had some spotting, but I thought it was normal. I haven’t felt any movements for a few days now. I should have come in sooner! This is all my fault!” she wails, the sobs leaving her breathless. I try to reassure her, but I don’t think it really helps. I hold her, gently rubbing small circles on her back.

The doctor leaves the room to give us some privacy. I don’t know how long we stayed in that room, but it was a while before the doctor came in to discuss the options for treatment. Lillian and I both agreed for a D&C (dilation and curettage), and they scheduled that appointment for later that day.

I transferred all my Alpha duties to Liam for the time being, making him disgustingly happy. I needed to be completely undistracted so I could take care of Lillian. After the D&C, I took Lillian home and we just laid in bed. I held her as she sobbed and tried to comfort her. For a few days, we didn’t do much other than lay in bed, grieving a pup we would never get to meet.

I am pretty sure I haven’t slept since we received the devastating news, and I don’t think I have really eaten anything either. I am just numb, and Lillian is really struggling. I haven’t cried since my father left and I just don’t have energy to cry now either. Eventually, she wanted me to leave her alone. So, I called a meeting with Liam to discuss pack issues, but mostly to just distract myself.

I walk into the office building and before Liam opens his mouth, I emphasize that I do not have energy or patience to deal with his attitude today. We sit down and he starts filling me in on what is happening in the pack right now. Surprisingly, he has done a halfway decent job on keeping things organized in my absence. After he fills me in, I don’t really have anything left to say so I stand up to leave.

I make it to the door when he asks me one more question, “Are you going to reject her now?”

I turn around, confusion on my face, “Why would I reject her? We already marked each other. I love her.”

“Well, I wasn’t sure you would still want her after she killed your kid.”

“What. Did. You. Say?” my voice coming out dangerously low, anger dripping from each word.

“I said, I wasn’t sure you would still want her after she killed your kid.”

My feet somehow move me in front of him and I pull back my fist and punch him directly in the face. It was hard enough to break his nose and send him flying back into the cabinets. With blood pouring from his nose, he stands up and, for some reason unknown to me, tries to swing at me. I am faster on my feet than he is though, so I easily dodge most of his punches and hit him in the face again. And again. And again. And again. I go for another, but Ryker stops me, ‘He’s unconscious, Titus. Just leave him.’

I blink a few times and realize the damage I have done. Liam is slumped against the cabinets which the glass has been broken out of now. He has cuts on the back of his head and his face is just a bloody mess. I mind-link the doctor to come to the office but I leave before he gets there, and I go back to the house.

I walk into the bedroom and see Lillian sleeping, peacefully. I am in the process of taking off my shirt to change it when I hear her gasp.

“What happened!?! Are you okay?” She gets up and runs over to me, “Are you hurt?”

I look in the mirror and realize that I have Liam’s blood mixed with mine all over my shirt and hands. I definitely have a few broken fingers which I didn’t even feel until now. I have a cut above my right eyebrow, and I already have some bruises forming on my ribs where Liam got a few good punches in. I pop my fingers back into place and sink into the chair by the desk. Lillian quickly grabs some first aid supplies and starts attempting to clean me up some. I don’t have enough energy to just do it myself, so I let her. I briefly hiss in pain when she cleans the cut on my face but mostly, I just sit there. I mind-link the doctor to check on Liam.

‘How is he?’

‘Alpha, he is unconscious and likely will be for a few days. He has some pretty severe injuries to his head and face and even with his wolf healing him, it will take a while. He’s pretty banged up.’

‘Keep me updated. Let me know if his status changes.’

‘I will, Alpha.’

“Titus, what happened? I know you were just talking to someone. What is going on? Are you okay?”

“I am now, my love. I just needed to take care of a few things. I am sorry for worrying you.”

There was no possible way that I was going to tell her what Liam said to me. She was hurting enough already and no matter how many times I assure her that it isn’t her fault, I know she feels responsible. Heck, I feel responsible, and it wasn’t even my body.

“Stop deflecting, Titus,” she demanded, anger evident in her voice.

“I’m not deflecting,” I argue back.

“Yes, you are. You barely would talk to me about everything going on before we lost……and now it feels like you can barely stand to look at me. You won’t even talk about her!” she shouts with tears falling down her face.

“Her?”

“Yes, we were going to have a daughter. I asked the doctor to try to tell me if she could before I went back for the D&C.”

“It was a girl?” my voice breaks with the question and the grief that I have held back for weeks comes pouring out. I cry for our unborn daughter. I cry for my dying mother. I cry knowing my mother will never meet my children. I cry because of my awful father. I cry from the overwhelming weight that has been placed on my shoulders. I cry with thankfulness for my beautiful mate. I cry because I can’t not anymore.

Lillian just holds me and eventually gets me to stand up and walk to the bed, which I collapse into. She lays down beside me and rubs circles on my back. With no more tears left to cry, I fall into the first real sleep I have had in a long time.