Humans Bite Back

The spell to reverse the warlock curse was discovered when The Grand Supreme coven was raided. As to be expected, granting young males instant access to the powers of the universe was not such a grand idea. The witching community was on its toes doing damage control because tiny children who had not been eased into the process thought melting street signs and flying dogs would do the world some good.

The Grandmasters might have gotten carried away if Erica had not kept them grounded. Under her tutelage, we were all developing our magic and learning how to coexist with the balance.

I was a star witness at The Grand Supremes trial. My testimony may have been why the judge had ruled so harshly against The Grand Supremes. Not only were they bound from conjuring anything more potent than a cup of herbal tea, but they were also sentenced to five years of bagging groceries at The Super Saver.

Most of the magical community agreed that the ruling was severe but fair, considering that the crimes they had committed expanded over the past two centuries.

I had managed to omit the fact that I had resurrected on several occasions. Though I wasn’t fond of lying, necromancy was still forbidden, and I justified my falsehoods by reasoning that I shouldn’t be punished for actions taken that were out of my control.

When asked how I had acquired so much information in such a short amount of time, I had claimed Tom as my informant. My story was corroborated by The Grand Masters, who had the pleasure of meeting the possessed feline.

Now I just had to hope that The Order of the Felix didn’t send Tom to convey a message any time soon because wanted posters with a pretty accurate artist's sketch were posted all over town. Even though the posts claim he wasn’t considered a suspect, every orange tabby in the city has been retained and hauled in for questioning.

The vampires had been tasked with convincing the humans that the county fair had not occurred at all. While most have been able to put the past behind them and carry out their duties with dignity, The Tall Order was forced to place Edna in a mouthguard for biting the humans in retaliation.

The Grandmasters were officially instated as the new Elder Warlocks in the community. Though we were tasked with creating guidelines and enforcing the rules imposed on the newly formed warlock covens, we still had to return to school in the fall and complete our senior years.

I resumed working at Edna’s once the order had been restored, but unfortunately, I had to give her my notice due to all my new undertakings; though she wished me the best, it was apparent that she wasn’t happy about my decision.

I stood behind the register, gazing at the shop where I had spent the majority of my days for the past two months. However, I had not expected to develop any nostalgia for the shop; a lump was forming in my throat as I was silently saying goodbye.

Banana Pepper must have sensed my melancholy because she slithered up my leg and contorted her body so she could gaze into my eyes. “I’m going to miss you most of all, girl,” I told her as my eyes began to well up with tears. Banana Pepper flicked out her tongue and planted a kiss on the tip of my nose in an attempt to soothe me.

The doorbell rang, alerting me that the store had a customer. Reacting to her training, Banana Pepper slithered away so she could guard the store incognito.

My attention was on Banana Pepper, so I didn’t have a chance to look at the customer before launching into my spiel. “Welcome to Edna’s Exotic Emporium, what can….” I paused mid-sentence and had to take a deep gulp to swallow the rest of my words.

Ed Forrest, Silverdale banker, and attempted murderer, stood on the other side of the counter from me. I pivoted, prepared to make a run for it, but Ed’s large hand shot out to stop me. “I come in peace,” he promised.

“I’ll use magic if I have to,” I warned him, knowing it was an empty threat. There were no rules against using magic in a battle, nothing official, anyway; it was the universe that often took offense.

“I didn’t come here to hurt you,” Ed insisted, “I came to apologize. I shouldn’t have frightened you; I overreacted.”

If that were Ed’s definition of overreacting, I would hate to see him when he was distraught. I eased his hand away from my chest and turned to confront him, “You tried to kill me,” I reminded him gently.

Ed threw his hands up and cupped each side of his head. “I know, and it was childish; I was just upset because you had not warned me about Petunia.”

“Fair enough,” I agreed, “but in my defense, I had no clue what Petunia was capable of, or how it functioned for that matter.”

“Do you want to know what she was capable of?” Ed asked me. I didn’t, but I had a feeling he was going to tell me anyway, regardless of how I answered.

“She’s capable of breaking a werewolf’s heart,” Ed cried, clasping his hands over his chest.

“Petunia broke your heart?” I repeated for clarification.

“Yes, one day she sprouted legs and walked out on me,” his voice stuck in his throat as he spoke; he did look genuinely devastated. I felt a pang of sympathy for him as I said, “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“I always thought of myself as a lone wolf,” Ed continued, “But after Petunia was gone, I realized that I was just a lonely wolf.”

“Perhaps the universe brought Petunia into your life so you could come to that realization,” I reasoned, “It’s not in your nature to wander the earth alone; every wolf needs a pack.”

“It is in our nature,” Ed confirmed, “But the universe has seen it fit to let me roam alone.”

“Have you tried going to The Where Woods during the three-moon cycle?” I asked him, “I heard that’s the best chance of snagging a mate.”

“I have tried,” Ed burst out, throwing his hands over his face so that I wouldn’t see his shame. “The ladies are interested enough when I’m a wolf, but when I shift back, they turn tail and run.”

“I don’t believe that for one second,” I said, shaking my head.

“It’s true,” Ed proclaimed, turning away from me. I moved around the counter to offer him some comfort, but Ed seemed to have forgotten his woes as soon as I drew near. “What is that?” he gasped in awe.

To my horror, I realized that he had spotted Mallory, the hideous thing that Edna had used to replace Petunia. Edna had priced Mallory so high that she could not fit all the zeros on the price tag.

Though this was an effective method to discourage even the most eccentric collectors, I had a feeling that Ed would be more than willing to endure the cost.

I stepped in between Ed and Mallory. “I think I have something that might change your luck with the ladies,” I told him, grasping him by the elbow and leading him away from Mallory. “I noticed that your beard is a bit patchy,” I told him, “Maybe the female wolves are afraid you are unkempt?”

“I do have trouble growing my beard,” Ed said, scratching his chin thoughtfully, “I groom it on the regular, but no matter what I do, I somehow still manage to have bald spots.”

“Well, I’ve got good news for you,” I announced, “We have just the thing for that,” I stood back and threw my hands up to highlight the little wigs Edna had on display.

Ed didn’t look enthused as he studied the wigs. “What are they?”

“Hairpieces, that men wear on occasion,” I informed him, “Edna told me that they were all the rage back in her day and have come back into fashion.”

“Well, I do want to be fashionable,” Ed said in a tone that told me his doubt was dissipating.

“Try before you buy,” I suggested, “Pick one out and see if it fits.”

Ed plucked a hairpiece that seemed to roughly match the shade of his brown hair and walked over to the sunglasses display to attach it to his face; once he finished, he turned around to present his face with his new beard.

“What do you think?” Ed was barely audible due to the sheath of hair covering his mouth. “I think you are supposed to part it so that it’s not covering your mouth,” I advised him.

Ed turned back to his reflection and arranged the hair so that only his lips were visible through the curly tufts. When he turned around again, he was beaming, “It doesn’t look half bad.”

It did look better than it had on his previous attempt. However, something still looked a bit off, but I refrained from saying anything because Ed seemed quite pleased with his appearance, and I didn’t want to discourage him; after all, he was a wolf in desperate need of confidence.

“It looks great, Ed,” I complimented him. Ed returned to the mirror to make minor adjustments until he was satisfied.

“I’ll take it,” he said after studying the final result.

“Should I get you a bag, or do you want to wear it out of the store?” I asked him as I resumed my position behind the cash register.

“I’ll wear it out,” Ed said, stroking his new beard. “Perhaps I’ll even prowl the werewolf bars tonight and see how the ladies respond.”

“I’m sure you will knock them off their socks,” I assured him as I handed him his receipt.

The door to Edna’s flew open, and Chad entered the store just as Ed was leaving. Chad, always being the gracious host, retreated so he could hold the door for Ed, “Let me get the door for you.”

Once Ed was gone, Chad looked at me, his eyes wide as saucers, “Did you see that wolf’s face?” He asked me, “It looks like a giant….” Chad stopped mid-sentence and stared at me while I patiently waited for him to finish his thought. “Oh, never mind,” Chad said, giving up and waving a hand dismissively.

I didn’t press Chad to continue because he and Edna often struggled to complete their thoughts. I assumed this had something to do with their age. The two of them have lived a very long life, and no one could expect them to have survived this long without some faulty wiring.

Chad joined me behind the counter, extracted an envelope from his vest, and extended it. “It’s your final paycheck,” he informed me, and just my fingers touched upon the envelope, he pulled back slightly. “You’ll be missed around here,” he told me, “Edna claims that you can sell ketchup ice pops to women wearing white gloves who have been accused of murder.”

“That is high praise coming from Edna,” I gushed, feeling touched, “I will miss you guys as well,”

Chad looked a little weepy as he said, “Go ahead and clock out and get out of here,” I checked the time, “My shift isn’t over yet,” I argued.

“Well, I crossed paths with a young lass outside that claims you promised her dinner,” he told me, “You best not leave the lady waiting.”

I threw my arms around his cold shoulders and squeezed him tight. “Take care of Banana Pepper for me,” I told him, “She seems a bit down and in need of cheering up.”

“I’ll take her for a walk later, maybe let her chase a few postmen,” Chad promised.

I leaped over the counter, clearing it in one sweep, bounced out of the shop, and halted when I saw Erica on the sidewalk, leaning against a new vehicle.

I let out a low whistle, “Nice wheels,” I complimented her. “Chad just told me that you expected to be taken to dinner.”

“You still owe me,” she reminded me, putting up two fingers, “Twice.”

I wanted to draw her in for a kiss at that moment, but I heeded Felix’s advice. There was no rush; I predicted we had many years ahead of us to fill with plenty of kisses.

EPILOGUE

Two figures stood under The Great Oak, hands entangled and appearing very much in love. The female turned to the male and cried, “Oh, Felix, isn’t it strange that we only found love in the afterlife?”

“Strange timing for an odd pairing,” Felix teased her, “In life, I could have never imagined falling in love with a Supreme Mother.”

“Nor I an arrogant warlock,” the Supreme Mother retorted.

They paused in their banter to gaze up at the stars. “I still think you gave the boy too much power,” The Supreme Mother remarked after a few seconds of silent appreciation.

“Bishop has a good head on his shoulders,” Felix countered, “I think he will be able to handle himself.”

“Power corrupts,” The Supreme Mother reminded him, “Trust me, I should know.”

“The universe will restore the balance; it always does,” Felix said as he pulled her closer; in an attempt to change the subject, he said, “Let’s forget the magical community for one night and enjoy the world’s majestic beauty,” he paused and pointed at the sky, “Look, there’s even a blood moon out tonight.”

“Isn’t that a bad werewolf omen?” The Supreme Mother inquired.

“Yes, it is,” Felix told her, “We just have to hope that the werewolves of Silverdale heed its warning.”