Humanity in the Deep

“What are they going to ask me?”

“You know we can’t answer that,” Kyle told Nadica as they walked.

“He doesn’t know anyway; they would never tell any of us,” Kat said.

“Kyle almost cried when he was done with his.” Kyle stared at Kat, but she ignored him as she talked.

“You’re going to be fine. Just try not to let them get to you,” she said as she put her arm around her sister.

Nadica looked tired even though she had taken the last few days off from work. She had worked a full forty hours a week for the previous three months. Ever since she passed the last academic test for adulthood.

Roger wasn’t surprised that the people on the Erikson required a person to hold a job for three months before they could be considered an adult. More than anything else the people of the Erikson had a sense of purpose. They were not a people who forced themselves to work so they could live, feeling alive only when not working. They were proud of what they did and of who they were.

“Don’t think of this as your one chance. Just do your best,” Roger said.

Kyle said, “You may not pass today, but you will pass.”

They arrived at the large compartment before long, and Nadica walked to the front. The rest of them walked to the other side, where a few chairs were waiting.

---

They sat down, and it was just the three of them in the audience chairs.

Gina walked in wearing what looked like a black suit. She looked very different from when he first met her.

After boarding the Erikson, Roger had learned that she was what they called a practical psychologist. That was why she was in charge of hiring Roger. The practical psychologists oversaw running the adulthood debates, although a council of random citizens made the pass/fail decision.

Two men in suits Roger did not know walked in. Both were in the gray area between forty and a hundred. They were wearing suits.

Gina walked to the side of the room, facing everyone, and said, “I would first like to thank George and Kiev for their help.” They both nodded.

She turned to Nadica, “Remember, Miss Loke, that you can always leave and try again in three months. There is only shame in failure if you stop trying.”

Turning back to the three of them, she said, “You are here for moral support only. If you interfere in any way, I will kick you out. If you need to leave at any time, feel free to do so. And of course, there is absolutely no recording of anything whatsoever,” she said, the last looking at Kat, who looked away innocently.

“You may begin, gentlemen.”

George said, “Nadica, you don’t have that many friends. In fact, I doubt you have any close friends at all. If you can’t form lasting friendships, then how can you function on the Erikson?

“Studies have consistently shown that people who work with friends are more effective. The simple fact is that your shipmates’ lives might depend on you. Yet, you won’t be their friend. Why?”

“I...” she looked over at them, then turned back to George and said, “have friends, I’m working on it. I see the value of friendship, but it’s not needed, I could do my job without it.”

Roger had been told that the debate was challenging. That it was made to push her limits, but he could hardly believe they would attack her obvious insecurities.

They didn’t stop.

Kiev said, “You might be able to, yes, but shouldn’t an adult be able to already? If you become an adult, you will be trusted with the lives of others. We have to know you will do the right thing in an emergency. Why should we trust you? What have you done that makes you worthy of being our equal?”

Roger put his hand on Kat’s leg. She grabbed it with what felt like all the force she had.

“I passed the tests, I worked for three months, I am dependable, and I don’t panic easily.” She Nadica rushed through the words.

“Really? How would you even know? As far as I know, you have never been in a life-or-death situation. For all you know, you will be crumble and fail when it happens. And it will. You live on a ship, not a planet. Adults are not coddled here.”

The other one said asked loudly, “Are you a virgin?”

“What?”

“You heard me. Answer the question, little girl.”

Roger almost got up then and there, and he had to close his eyes and breathe deeply to stop himself. Kat put his arm around Roger and held him tighter.

“Yes...” she said responded quietly.

“I see... are you sure you want to be an adult before you know what it’s like to be with a man? That you can be trusted to not be manipulated or toyed with?

“I asked you a question, girl. Answer it.”

“...I do think I can be trusted,” She said quietly but firmly.

“When did the Roman Empire fall?” Roger was not even surprised at that change of topic.

“Five hundred CE?”

“The western empire fell in four sixty-five,” one of the men said. “You need to be specific. If you don’t know, say so, and we can move on.”

The other one said, “Not knowing something is acceptable, thinking you know a fact, and not knowing it is not. It could get people killed. Do you disagree?”

Kat’s hand grew tighter on Roger’s. Nadica gripped both sides of the podium and she visibly gathered herself and loudly said, “Yes, I do, and it’s unreasonable. I can’t memorize every fact I come across.” She looked him square in the eye.

Roger was impressed. At her age, he would have been lucky to still be in the room at that point, let alone standing his ground like she was.

It went on like that for almost an hour. then They switched from asking seemingly random history and technical questions to deeply personal ones.

They grilled her on Every mistake she made they grilled her on, made her admit she was wrong and used it to attack her personally.

Roger didn’t remember much from the short time he went to public school, but it was nothing like what Nadica was put through. It was brutal. Even cruel.

---

He felt like Nadica looked, drained and tired and angry. He had to stop himself from intervening several times. He could not imagine what Kyle must have been going through. The look on his face was strained, but he also saw pride.

They were all walking to the Loke’s quarters, he and Kyle were behind Kat and Nadica. When they got close, he felt out of place, so he started to veer to his quarters next door. Kyle put his hand on Roger’s shoulder and motioned to the Loke’s hatch.

After they got inside, Nadica collapsed into a chair and Kyle went to a cabinet. Without turning around, he said, “Despite what you may be thinking, you did very well. You argued with reason, not just emotion. You will be passed, I’m sure of it.”

“I cried...in front of everyone...” Kat sat next to her and put her arm around Nadica.

Roger put his hand on her shoulder. as he said, “Nadica... that was the point. They wanted to push you, to see if you would fall apart. You didn’t. Stress like that will make you cry, and it will hurt. And that’s okay. Never be ashamed of things you can’t control. Trust me, that’s not a road you want to walk down.”

Kyle sat down with a bottle of tequila and four shot glasses. “He’s right, in a real emergency you will be afraid, you will be hurt, the question is, will you do the right thing anyway? No one will care if you’re crying when you do what needs to be done, just that you do it.

“That’ is one of the hallmarks of adulthood: the ability to not let your emotions make you do something stupid. You easily did better than me.”

Nadica looked shocked, and Roger was too. It was hard to imagine him being angry or upset.

Looking at Nadica he said, “I was a different person when I was seventeen. Nothing changes you like real responsibility. But nothing feels better than seeing what you’re responsible for flourish beyond what you could have imagined.”

“Now, do you want a shot? I’ve been saving this for a long time.”

---

Almost two weeks later, they were in one of the large upship warehouses. They were in zero gravity. After almost nearly two years, Roger was as at home in zero-G as he was in normal gravity.

More than thirty people were floating in the back half of the compartment with Roger and Kat.

In front and to the left were six teenagers, including Nadica. Each one had their parents standing near them, or in Nadica’s case, Kyle.

A dozen or so adults were standing to the right of them, the only one Roger recognized was Gina. One with a red sash, a counselor named Myra, floated forward to and started speaking. Kat said that her name was Myra.

“We are gathered here today to welcome new adults and citizens.” She turned to the teenagers.

“This is your last chance to change your minds, once you take the oath, you will be adults, and there will be no going back.

“Being an adult means responsibility, and freedom. It means you will have the freedom to drink, but the responsibility to do so reasonably. To sign contracts, but you will be bound by them. In short, you will pay the price for any mistake you make, as any adult should.”

She paused, then looked each of them in the eyes and said, “Nadica Loke, step forward.”

Kyle gave her a pat on the shoulder, and Nadica stepped up.

Myra turned behind her to the group of adults.

“Adrian Moisey, do you certify that she has passed the requirements for history?”

One of the people with Gina said, “I do.”

“Lieutenant Daniels, do you certify that she has passed the requirements for emergency operations and basic electronics?”

Another answered, “I do.”

“Doctor Smith, do you certify that she has passed the requirements for psychology and basic medical?”

“I do.”

“Mark Lane, do you certify that she has passed the requirements for math and physics?”

“I do.”

Nadica was looking more sure of herself, and proud as she had every right to be. She was the youngest person in the group by far.

“Lieutenant Smith, do you certify that she has passed the requirements for Chemistry?”

“I do.”

“Gina Smith, did the council of her peers pass her for her debate?”

Gina stepped forward and said while smiling at Nadica, “Unanimously yes.”

Myra said, “Nadica Loke, repeat after me: I swear to obey the laws of the Erikson, that I will seek redress of grievances only in a peaceful fashion. I swear I will defend the rights of citizens and passengers. I swear that I and only I am responsible for my actions. And I swear I will contribute to our society, that I will, through my actions, make it better.”

When Nadia finished repeating, everyone clapped. Kyle walked forward and hugged her. They both made their way through the ropes that the audience was hanging onto.

When they made it to Kat and Roger, she uncharacteristically hugged Kyle.

Kyle said, “Mom and Dad would have been proud.” As he rubbed the top of her head.

“Thanks for everything, big brother. I know how much you gave up after the accident.”

“You were worth it.”

---

The next day, Roger entered the Loke’s quarters for breakfast and. He saw a large tray of crackers on the table.

He groaned then said, “Again?” To Kyle who was sitting at the table.

“Happy launch day, enjoy the crackers. I’m working on something for tonight. It should be good.”

One of the odder traditions they had was eating only crackers on New Year’s, or launch day. At least until dinner.

Apparently, the corp that had built the Erikson had been growing close to bankruptcy and decided to skimp on food. Half of what the crew and passengers ate on the first outbound trip were crackers. Not even different kinds. The same kind sort of nutrient-filled cracker for half their meals. Kyle thought that was the real reason the crew and passengers had bought the Erikson from the corp.

Kat walked into the room and said to Kyle, “Remember when you’re going out tonight, you don’t want to make her hate drinking, just respect it.”

Another odd tradition was parents getting their newly adult children drunk for the first time. The Theory was it gave them perspective on what drinking could do under safe conditions.

It also would be Kyle’s last job as guardian of Nadica.

“I must admit, it wasn’t what I expected.”

Roger asked, “What wasn’t?”

“Raising them.” He pointed to Kat, and to Nadica’s room. “I was seventeen when our parents died. I was cooking part-time and studying to become an officer. Although, truth be told, I don’t know if I had the work ethic to pull it off.

“When our parents died, my first thoughts were selfish. How it would make things harder for me, of all the stupid things to be concerned with.”

He turned to Roger and added, “Our parents were both immigrants. We have no other family. Others were willing to take the girls and I almost let them. Then Nadica hugged my leg, I picked her up, looked her in the eyes, and realized I couldn’t leave her. If Dad taught me anything, it was the importance of duty and of family.

“Of course, I saw things I would rather not have over the years...” He said the last looking at Kat.

“That was one time. Besides, I am a svelte young woman. My body is a work of art. Anyway,” she continued, “I’m glad you did it. God only knows what would have happened if you let some random yahoo take us in. We, might have come out boring or something.”

“Somehow, I doubt you could be boring if you wanted to, Kat,” Roger said.

He tried to remember that moment, to hold it in his mind. In A few months, and they would be at the build and might not see each other for months. He and Kat would be piloting different boats while Kyle and Nadica were going to stay on the Erikson.

---

Roger was working on making the grass look right in a corridor. He was taking advantage of the last few days of gravity they would have in the forward part of the ship while he could. The ship was currently ass backwards, burning to slow down from its current speed of point one C. The rings were locked and emptied. There were only two days of decel left, and after that, it would be years until he would have the chance to work with gravity in most of the ship. Although, he was looking forward to being able to finish some of his work in the rings, which would be fully spun up in the week after they entered orbit of the gas giant.

He was so absorbed by his work he didn’t see Kat walk in before she was next to him.

He stood up and saw her, she had a picnic basket and a big floppy hat on.

“Thought you might be hungry, I brought some of the lasagna from last night.”

“Thanks, you didn’t have to do that,” he said while stretching. He felt sore from leaning down too long.

She walked up behind him and started to massage his shoulders. After a few minutes, of doing that she stopped and put the blanket down in an area he had not gotten to yet.

As she was getting their food out, he said, “Nice hat.”

“Thanks, I think it looks sexy. What do you think?”

“You always look good, Kat.”

“Even if I was soaked in cooking oil?”

“...Yes?”

“Good.”

Changing the subject, Roger asked, “How was work?”

“Boring, looking forward to being a pilot full time. Found a cable that a rat somehow got to and a few optic cables that needed to be replaced. Engineers are running all the tech’s ragged trying to check everything before we get in system.”

Roger sat down with his back to the bulkhead, Kat sat right next to him leaning on him with her leg playfully over his.

They ate just like that, and Roger felt content. Roger’s father had often said that being content was different from being happy, and that a man needs contentment, but that he only wants to be happy.

Roger finally knew what he meant.