SWNOVELS HUGE X2: Chapter 8
It takes Mom months to recover from the accident. I make good on my promises, spending lots of time at home doing chores and trying to make her life as easy as possible. I volunteer at the food bank and it feels good dedicating time to help others. I’m being the best sister I can possibly be to the twins too and that means pretending nothing ever happened before the accident.
My college work has been getting better grades. I’m on top of my assignments in a way I’ve never been before. I’ve even been going out more with my friends and it’s been fun. Everything’s great, except that it isn’t.
I have a terrible empty feeling inside that I can’t seem to fill with promises and better intentions. I went on a date last week and it was nice, but I don’t want nice. Nice didn’t make the ache go away.
All my promises feel good except the one I made about the twins. The trouble is that it seemed like the most important one at the time, and I can’t go back on it, no matter how much I want to. I’m sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of iced tea when they breeze in the backdoor. They’ve been out for a run and are out of breath and dripping with sweat. It’s so hot out I don’t know how they can exercise but it doesn’t seem to bother them.
“Hey, Carrie,” Ethan says, pulling up a chair next to me. Nathan fixes them some water and takes the chair opposite me, then they both down their drinks. This close, I can smell them and their scent fills my mind, making me woozy. I plaster a smile on my face.
“What’s up?” I say, to break the awkward silence.
“Not a lot these days,” Ethan says. He makes it sound like a joke but there’s an undercurrent of something in his voice that makes my heart skip.
Nathan gives him a look that’s filled with warning but Ethan just shrugs his shoulders and glares back.
“How long are you going to keep this up, Carrie?” Ethan continues.
“Keep what up?” I ask, attempting innocence that sounds so false.
“Pretending that nothing happened between us.”
“Ethan,” I hiss. “Don’t do this. Not here.”
“What?” he protests, putting his hands up, palms facing forward. “It’s been months and it’s like you’ve just switched off. You won’t talk to us. You don’t want to spend time with us.”
Nathan sits forward, resting his hands on the table. “What my brother means is that we want to know what’s going on. We’ve given you space because that’s what you seemed to need, but now we need to know, Carrie. You’ve turned into a stranger.” I shake my head, but I know that they are right. I’ve been putting on a friendly front but if it hasn’t felt natural to me, it sure won’t have felt natural to them. “We miss you,” Nathan adds gently. “We miss how things were before…”
“Before my mom almost died,” I say bitterly, hoping they’ll back down when they hear the emotion in my voice.
“But she didn’t, did she?” Ethan says. He reaches out to take my hand but I snatch it back.
“She nearly did,” I hiss. “My mom nearly died and look what we were doing while she was going through that. We were….” I can’t even bring myself to say the words. “Fuck this,” I say, exasperated. I stand, taking my tea to the sink and pouring it out. I watch the liquid disappear, trying not to register the pain I feel inside. I don’t want to hurt them. My stepbrothers are good men. They have good hearts. I know that they only want to talk about this because they feel the same way as me. I love them. But I can’t love them that way. Not after I promised.
“It wasn’t your fault, Carrie. We weren’t doing anything wrong.”
“How can you say that?” I turn to face them, anger and frustration boiling up inside me.
“How can you be like this?” Ethan sounds so wounded. I feel awful. This is not what I wanted. “The way you talk, it’s like you think we’re disgusting. We love you, Carrie. That’s what we were doing that night. We were loving you, nothing else.” He stands then, and heads out of the room slowly, like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. Nathan turns to me but says nothing, then follows his brother.
Love.
It’s just a word. It has four small letters. By themselves they mean nothing. Joined together they mean everything. I go and outside and just stand, gazing at our back yard. Mom has been planting again, and the flowers flutter in the breeze.
They have a truth. They love me. I know that as certainly as I know the sky is blue.
I have a truth. I made a promise.
I need my stepbrothers to understand that we can’t be anything more than we are – a fake family forced to live together until we were old enough to leave home – but they won’t. They can’t. Because understanding why I made the promise can only end up a being taken as a criticism of them; of the way they feel and the things we did. Nothing I did that night with them felt wrong at the time. It all felt right and good. The connection between us was so deep it was almost like a physical bond.
So what does that make me?
Denying how I feel makes me a liar. I know this. But I can’t go back. I just can’t.
I spend the next few hours locked in my room, staring at my ceiling. The hollow feeling is always there but now it feels bigger somehow, and deeper. Katelin calls me and she must hear the blue in my voice because she tells me that we just have to go out tonight. Excuses form at my lips but I stop myself before I verbalize them. I can’t lie here all night feeling sorry for myself. I’m letting regrets eat me alive.
“Sure,” I say.
“Get your sexiest gear on, lady,” Katelin shrieks. She’s a great best friend, always full of enthusiasm. She’s sunshine on a stick. “I’ll pick you up at 8 pm and we can leave my car in the lot overnight.”
We say our goodbyes and I drag myself into the shower. I do as Katelin ordered and put on my teal lace mini-dress and gold heels. I curl my hair and apply smoky eyes. I feel on edge. Dangerous. It’s as though I know something has to give, one way or another. I need to break out of this funk.
When Katelin sounds the horn outside I grab my clutch and jacket and sprint down the stairs. I’m trying to avoid the twins if I can. Our earlier conversation is hanging over me and I don’t think I can face them. The house is quiet though, so I’m out of the door with no problems.
The bar is heaving when we get in. It’s happy hour and everyone is drinking from huge pitchers and fishbowls. The music is pumping and I know once I get on the dance floor I’ll be able to lose myself in it, even if it’s only for a few hours.
We find Abigail and Brandy at the bar and they add our drinks to their order. I ask for two Red Devil’s, because it worked so well last time. I catch the girls looking at each other as I down the drinks in record time, but I don’t care. I grab Katelin’s hand and pull her towards the dance floor.
The lights strobe in time with the beat and I’m lost in the pulsing, frantic rhythm that vibrates through me. I put my hands in the air and get a sudden flash of another time I was here, dancing between Ethan and Nathan, with so many different thoughts on my mind. I wish I could go back to that moment and walk away. Maybe my heart wouldn’t hurt so much if I’d never danced with them and heard what they’d spoken about after. So many things could have been different.
I feel hands on my hips as someone tries to dance up close to me. I turn and see a man I don’t recognize. He’s young like me, and kind of cute. He smiles and his perfect white teeth reflect the flashing disco lights. “Hey, I’m Aaron,” he says.
“Carrie,” I reply. I wouldn’t usually dance with a stranger. Not like this. But I’m different tonight. Reckless. Out to burn away my misery. Maybe Aaron-Perfect-Smile can help me. I dance like I did for the twins, hips swaying seductively. Katelin gives me a worried look but my falsely enthusiastic smile must fool her because she turns to dance with the others.
When the music changes Aaron asks me if I want to take a walk with him. I know what he’s asking and despite the fact that my heart is aching, I let him take my hand and lead me outside. It’s a warm evening and Aaron walks us through the lot, towards his car, I’m assuming, while he talks about his friend who’s making it big in L.A. I’m not really listening. I feel woozy and it’s taking all my concentration to remain upright in my heels.
Aaron has a nice ride but I don’t want to get in it with him. I start to say that I think I should go back inside but he has the door open and he uses his size advantage to back me towards the vehicle. “You’re fine,” he says, when I tell him I need some water. I put my hand on his chest as my back meets the side of his SUV.
“I want to go back to the club,” I say, and the panic that is rising inside me seems to clear my head. His eyes flash darkly and I know in my gut that I’m totally out of my depth. He smiles, and I don’t know why, but that makes me fear him even more.
“You like teasing?” he asks. “You put on that dress for one reason, baby. Let me give you what you’re begging for.
“I’m not begging for anything,” I reply, keeping my hand against him, ready to use all my body weight to shove him away.
I don’t need to though. Just as Aaron opens his mouth to reply, a shadow falls across his face.
“You okay, Carrie?” Ethan asks, taking me by the elbow and pulling me toward him. Nathan is there too, crowding Aaron and making him look like a prepubescent boy.
I nod but it doesn’t seem to appease my stepbrothers. Nathan grips Aaron’s shoulder in his massive hand and squeezes as he leans towards him. “I don’t like what I think I saw,” he says in a voice filled with menace. I’ve never heard cuddly Nath get really angry. I’ve never seen this side of him. “You need to stay the fuck away from Carrie, do you understand me?”
Aaron looks pissed, those snake eyes of his still flashing with malice, but Nathan must squeeze harder and shove him away because he stumbles backwards.
“Stay away,” Nathan hisses, getting right in Aarons face. I pull away from Ethan and try to intervene. I couldn’t bear Nath to get hurt because of my stupidity. What was I thinking leaving the bar with a total stranger? Eth holds me back though, and Aaron seems to have changed his mind about the confrontation because he puts up his hands and says he wasn’t doing anything. Then he makes a big mistake. He tells Nathan that I was begging for it.
It seems to take less than a second for Nath to pull his fist back and make a connection with Aaron’s jaw. The crack of bone on bone is so loud it makes me flinch. Eth pushes me behind him so he’s in a position to step in but Nathan doesn’t need his help. Aaron is on his ass in the dirt, clutching his face.
“Fuck you,” Nathan says, squeezing his fist. He spits on the floor right by Aaron’s feet and then turns to us.
“Come on,” he says, and Eth takes hold of my hand as we follow Nathan through the parked cars. When we reach the door of the bar, Nathan hands Ethan his keys. “Take her to the car,” he says. “I’ll find her friends and tell them she’s with us.”
Ethan nods and I’m steered to where Nathan’s car is parked. It’s only when we get there that Ethan turns to me. He looks pissed and worried and his chest is rising and falling so fast it’s as though he’s been for another run. “What the fuck, Carrie?” he says, looking my face over as though he’s checking for injuries. “What were you doing out here with that asshole?”
I look down, feeling stupid and ashamed and I don’t have any answers, at least none that would make any sense to Ethan. Nothing about it makes any sense to me either. I look up at him and I can’t hold it in anymore. I start to cry, putting my hands up to hide from him. He pulls my curled form towards him and cradles me as my body is racked by sobs. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs into my hair. “I’m so fucking sorry, Carrie. For everything.”
I don’t want to hear him say that. I don’t want him to blame himself for any of this. I throw my arms around his neck and I tell him that it’s me who’s sorry and that everything is my fault. I can’t stop crying but Ethan doesn’t try and make me. It’s as though he knows I need to let it out. Everything is there, pushing behind my eyes. The guilt, the shame, the fear that mom wouldn’t make it.
Then Nathan returns from the club and his big warm hand on my shoulder seems to bring me back to my senses. I turn from Eth to hug Nath. I just want him to know that I’m sorry too. He doesn’t let me burrow into his chest like Eth did, though. He takes hold of my face in his huge hands and forces me to look at him.
“This is stupid,” he says, with anger and exasperation clear in his voice. “This is all fucking stupid. Why are you doing this, Carrie? Why are you pushing us away and putting yourself in danger with assholes like that?”
I shake my head as if to say I don’t know but that only seems to inflame him. “I can’t do this anymore,” he says. “I can’t walk around pretending like nothing happened. I love you. We love you. You can’t push us away like this.”
Tears flow freely down my cheeks and I try to swallow against the lump that has formed in my throat. I can’t do this anymore either. I can’t carry on fooling myself that I can be without them. My heart is broken because I pushed them away.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry. I promised myself that I wouldn’t let anything happen between us again. I promised because…” I can’t finish the sentence but Nathan won’t give up.
“Why, Carrie?” he says, looking deep into my eyes, searching for the answers that I’ve denied them so far.
“Because I felt guilty for what we did. Because I knew people would think it was wrong. I promised because I thought fate was punishing me.”
Nathan uses his thumbs to stroke away my tears. Both the twins are silent and I think I’ve gone too far. I should have just kept my mouth shut.
“You’re talking in the past tense,” Ethan says softly. “Do you still think those things?”
I shake my head, looking between my beautiful boys. Their eyes are filled with tenderness and longing that I know must be reflected in mine. I missed them so much. “I’m so sorry,” I say again. I need them to know.
“You don’t need to be sorry,” Ethan says from behind me. “Sorry doesn’t move us forward. Sorry isn’t what we need, baby. Just tell us that you want this too. That’s all we need to hear.”
“I want this,” I gasp, surprising myself with the fierceness in my voice. “I love you.”
Nathan bends and kisses me hard on the mouth. Ethan slips his hand into my hair from behind and grips, turning my face into his and doing the same. We’re in a public lot but I don’t care who sees. My lips feel bruised but I don’t care about that either. The pain makes the longing I feel for them sharper.
“Get in the car, Carrie,” Ethan says. Nathan unlocks the vehicle and opens the rear door for me. I slide in, while Ethan goes around to the passenger side. We drive in silence and I assume that they are taking me home, but then we pull off the road towards a motel and my heart skips in my chest. The silence now feels tense. We all know what’s going to happen next. Just the thought has me throbbing between my legs. Ethan turns in his seat and reaches back, putting his hand on the inside of my knee and stroking. My clit pulses with every movement.
“We’re going to take care of you,” he says with so much love in his voice. “We’ll always take care of you.”
I blink, feeling his words like a warm blanket around my heart. I feel the weight of his promise. I know the truth of it too. In every doubt I’ve had about being with the twins, it has never been because of a worry about them. I know how honorable they are, how caring and considerate. I’ve felt their concern for me every day since mom’s accident. Even when we were fooling around, they had given me pleasure before taking it for themselves.
Nathan finds a space and turns off the engine. The twins are up and out of the car, slamming their doors at exactly the same time. Ethan opens my door and Nathan circles the car to wait next to him. I feel worn out and drained from months of self-inflicted pain and hurt. I just want to get inside the quiet space of a motel room and curl up on a bed with the twins beside me. I think I could sleep for a week with the security of their presence. But there’s another part of me that’s come alive since I accepted that I can’t deny what’s in my heart. That part is desperate for more of my boys.
“Come on, Peanut,” Ethan says gently, taking hold of my hand. I want to reach out for Nathan too but he puts his hands in his pockets and walks ahead. I guess they’re used to taking it in turns when it comes to showing public affection. Any rumors that have circulated about them have always come because the girls they had been with had kissed and told.
At the desk, Nathan asks for a room. He pays up and the twins lead me along a dimly lit corridor to a door. The number of the door is three and it seems like something more than a coincidence. I’ve been worried so much about what three means for us but now, as I stand between Ethan and Nathan, three feels like the best place in the world.
When the door closes, Ethan puts on the bedside lamp. I stand, looking at the bed, knowing what is coming and wanting it so much. But I can’t deny that I’m scared. This isn’t just sex. What we do next is going to be the start of something and once it has happened there won’t be any going back. I know this.
The twins don’t speak. They just move closer until all my senses are filled with them. Nathan draws my zip down painfully slowly. Ethan takes my hand and presses it to his heart.
“You feel that, Carrie,” he says as the thumping under my palm gets faster. “That’s because of you.”
I feel like I can’t breathe when Nathan start to peel away the fabric on my dress until the lace pools at my feet. The twins seem to take in a synchronized breath as I stand before them in my black lace panties and gold heels. My knees are weak with anticipation. I need them. I need them to surround me, to hold me upright when I feel I no longer have the strength to do it myself.
“Sit on the bed, Carrie.” The quiet order comes from Nathan as he kneels at my feet to unstrap my sandals. He kisses my ankles where the buckles have left little indents.
Ethan takes a seat on the bed, resting back against the decorative pillows. He pats the spot between his legs and I crawl to kneel between them. I use my thumb to brush over his bottom lip, remembering the way Nathan had done the same thing at the club so many months ago. I feel like a different person from that girl. Older and more serious. Surer too, about what I want. Ethan pulls me in to kiss him, impatient as he was in the lot. He tastes of passion and desire as our tongues slide against each other. Nathans hands on my waist only adds to the heat. Four hands caress me. Two mouths tell me they ache for me as much as I for them. Nathan’s lips press kisses into the curve of my back, his fingers skating the lace of my panties in a way that feels teasing.
“Take them off,” I say, arching my back. Ethan puts his hands to my breasts, squeezing gently, pinching the nipples until I gasp. I watch Nathan’s huge hands push the fabric over my hips and thighs and I adjust my position so he can round them past my knees and then my feet.
“Spread your legs,” he says, pushing at the inside of my thigh and I do, until I feel my pussy lips part, the wetness between my legs cooling in the night air. They both move to touch me there at the same time, Nathan sliding his hand over the roundness of my ass, and down into the crack. His fingers find my entrance and he strokes slowly, as though he can feel that I’ve tensed all of a sudden. Ethan’s finger finds my clit and he circles it slowly and gently too. My hands grip the coverlet, needing to find purchase on something before I float away. I can’t stop my hips from moving and wanting to take more. When I push back against Nathan’s fingers he forces them in deep. I make a sound so low and guttural it vibrates in my throat. Ethan kisses me again, using his tongue to fuck my mouth while his brother’s fingers do the same to my pussy. Every movement is bringing me closer but I don’t want to come like this. After everything that’s happened I want to know what it feels like to be with them properly.
I draw away from Ethan, cupping his face with both my hands. His eyes look dazed and I love that he’s so into what we are doing. I need more, though, but I don’t know what the etiquette is. When there’s two of you, it’s straight forward. With three, there’s the chance someone might feel left out. I want to tell him that I want him but I don’t want to hurt Nathan in the process. As though he can sense the reason for my hesitation, Ethan puts his hand around the back of my neck possessively and pulls me close.
“Do you want this?” he asks gruffly.
“I want you, both,” I tell him cautiously, and he smiles.
“You don’t need to worry like that, Carrie.” He lifts the hair away from my neck and caresses me tenderly. “We’re big boys. We learned how to share in kindergarten.”
Nathan snorts behind me and for a moment I’m stunned, then I see his cheeky grin and I start to giggle. It’s as though the ice has been broken and I feel so much more at ease.
Aside from their shoes, the twins are still fully clothed. Ethan leans forward and tugs his shirt over his head while I work on his belt and zipper. I hear Nathan doing the same behind me and then the rustle of foil as he retrieves a condom. Eth doesn’t even bother to take off his jeans, he just pushes them down enough to free his cock, then sheathes it with the condom Nathan has passed him. I watch him rolling the latex downward, each incredible inch taking me closer to where I need to be. There’s something mesmerizing about the seconds that tick by as Ethan patiently prepares himself for me. Before the first night we fooled around, I’d never seen a cock as big as the twin’s. Knowing that he’s going to be filling me with that hard, thick thing has my pussy fluttering hungrily.
“Sit on it, Carrie,” Nathan murmurs into my ear, his hot breath gusting against my skin. I can hear the excitement in his voice and it’s as though he’s impatient on his brother’s behalf. His tongue licks along the side of my earlobe, making me shiver. “Ride him until he loses is mind.”
Ethan takes hold of my thighs and tugs me forward and I rise up until my entrance is poised over his huge cock. I look down as he grips and begins to stroke it between my folds, coating the tip with my juices. I’m so wet, I know he’ll be able to push his way in without it hurting me too much, but I still find my hands trembling at the thought of it. This is Ethan. The person I know will always make me laugh on even my bluest day. This is Ethan that didn’t give up on me, even when I tried my hardest to push him away. I cup his face and kiss him gently, whispering how much he means to me and how much I want to feel him inside me. Ethan’s moving so slowly, as though he wants to prolong this moment of anticipation for as long as he can.
“Fuck her,” Nathan says from behind me, his voice thick with impatient desire. I turn to look at him, and his eyes are wild; wide black pupils ringed by cerulean. He has his cock in his hand too.
Ethan doesn’t waste any more time. He puts his hands on my hips, pulling me downwards. Oh, the sensation when he forces me open is almost too much. I feel full already and he’s only half way in. I flex my hips, rising up and driving myself down harder and Ethan screws up his face with concentration.
“You’re so tight,” he grunts, raising his hips from the bed, wanting to get as deep inside me as he can.
“You’re so big,” I moan, desperate to feel the full extent of him splitting me wide open. Nathan takes hold of my hair and turns my face until his lips brush mine, then he gently sucks my top lip, nibbling it gently. It feels so amazing and I find myself relaxing enough that Ethan finally bottoms out, mashing our bodies together. I start to move, using one hand on Ethan’s washboard abs to assist me, rolling my hips and grinding against the base of his cock.
Nathan’s hand replaces Ethan’s on my hip, guiding me into a rhythm he approves of on his brother’s behalf. I never thought he’d be so bossy in bed. Nathan is usually the easygoing one, but as his fingers grip tighter I realize that he’s got a whole other side to him. Ethan’s face is tight with pleasure, his brow furrowed and his bottom lip clutched between his teeth. As I bounce harder at Nathan’s insistence I can feel the orgasm building inside me again. Ethan’s cock feels big and good, and the sensation of having two sets of eyes on me as we fuck is so darkly arousing that I know I’m going to come soon. I won’t need much more, just the grinding of Ethan’s cock and maybe Nathan’s hands on my tits.
I tell him to pinch my nipples and he does, wrapping his arms around me from behind and pushing my tits together in the lewdest way. Four hands move to give me pleasure, two on my breasts, one on my clit and one grips my thigh, pulling me down harder and harder. Oh god it feels so good. So fucking good that I can’t hold it in.
“I’m gonna…ah, ah, ah,” I grunt out, feeling the orgasm taking hold. It’s as though all the energy in my body draws together into a place deep inside me, and as Nathan twists my nipples hard it flows forth in wave after wave. I don’t stop moving. I can’t because the more I thrust the longer it goes on for until I can’t breathe.
“That’s it, Carrie,” Nathan whispers. “That’s it.”
“Fuck,” Ethan shouts from beneath me, his cock swelling impossibly inside. When he comes it’s loud; all his muscles seem to seize until his orgasm subsides and he eventually relaxes.
I flop forward, sprawling out on Ethan’s sweat-slicked chest and he holds me tightly in his arms, the warmth of his skin comforting in the night-chilled room. I sag against him as he kisses my temple and tells me I was perfect, that I did so good, that he’s wanted to be with me for so long. I kiss his soft lips, caress his stubbly cheek, look into his half-closed eyes, feeling the rightness of what is happening between us. “Are you okay?” Ethan asks, holding my chin so I have to maintain eye contact. He wants to be sure that I’m telling the truth, I suppose.
“You have to ask?” He nods and a flash of uncertainty passes across his face. I guess that I’m somewhat to blame for this. I’ve pushed them away for months and told them what we did last time was wrong. Although I feel a stab of guilt, his concern for me and the way I feel just makes me even more certain about him, and Nathan.
I kiss him gently again, running my fingers through his soft, sandy-colored hair. “I feel like I’m right where I’m supposed to be, Eth.” As soon as my words are out he seems to relax in my arms. I turn to seek out Nathan, to let him know too. His hand caresses my back and I cup his cheek, Ethan slipping from inside me as I do. I feel so empty between my legs, but I don’t stay that way for long.
“Come here,” Nathan tells me and I allow my legs to drop open, making space for him. He takes his place between my knees, eyes on my pussy, and I wonder what he sees. Does it look as red and swollen as it feels? Can he see how aroused I am? He sheathes himself, eyes flicking to mine when he’s ready. “I can’t wait to get all up inside you and feel you come on my cock. Can you take me?” he asks, ever the considerate one.
“Come and find out,” I say. It’s his turn and I wouldn’t deny him, even if I did feel sore. There are things I need him to know that I can only show this way. How much I love him. How desperately I need him. How sexy he is and how good he makes me feel. All the same things I told his twin.
As Nathan positions himself over me, Ethan disposes of the condom. He doesn’t come back to the bed though. Instead, he takes a seat on the chair in the corner so he has a good view.
“Nath,” I whisper as he kisses my forehead, my cheekbones and my jaw.
I cup his cheek, drawing his lips to mine for a soft and sweet kiss that has me relaxing against the comforter. He takes his time, caressing me, and whispering how beautiful I am, how good I smell, how soft I feel. When he finally positions himself at my entrance I’m so ready that it’s me who pulls him down so he penetrates the first few inches. His eyes are closed in concentration as he rolls his hips but I keep mine open, wanting to embed this moment in my memory. My Nathan.
His muscles flex under my palms, the firm roundness of his ass too tempting for me not to squeeze. He’s so heavy on me but I love how small he makes me feel and how protected. The hand that punched Aaron is by my face and I turn to press a kiss to the split in his knuckles.
“God, Nath,” I gasp as he pounds into me harder, sliding an arm beneath me so he can grip me tighter. He presses his face into my neck, breath gusting hot against my skin and I remember a night not so long ago when I fell asleep on the sofa during one of our movie nights and woke up with my head on Nathan’s shoulder. I’d wanted to kiss him so badly that night but I didn’t have the guts. Now here I am making love to him.
Every shift of his hips grazes my clit. At first I think I don’t have it in me to come again. I’ve never been a multiple orgasm kind of person, not even at my own hand and with the dirtiest fantasies of the twins running through my mind. Nathan seems determined though. He has his hand under my ass, fingers stroking closer and closer to a private place where I’ve never been touched before. I hold my breath, wondering what he’s going to do and trying to decide if I’m comfortable with this.
“Nath,” I say with uncertainty in my voice but it isn’t him that answers.
“Don’t worry, Carrie,” Ethan says. “He knows what he’s doing. He won’t push you too far.”
One of Nathan’s fingers finally touches the sensitive spot and my hips rise up off the bed in response.
“You like that,” he states, as though he knew all along that I would. I nod, still not really sure how I feel about it, but when he presses against the ring of muscle there again I cry out. There are connections in my body that I never knew about. Places so sensitive they seem to light up my nerves. I grip his shoulder, digging my nails in harder than I should but he doesn’t complain. It seems to drive him on, harder, deeper, faster until he’s forced me up the bed so far my head is at the edge. “I can feel you, Carrie,” he says. “I can feel you’re getting close. Don’t hold back, baby.”
He presses his finger again, this time in the same rhythm as his cock, and I gasp, throwing my head back and arching my body into his. “Oh fuck,” I say, as he puts his hand on my exposed neck and holds me still. “Oh…..” This orgasm is different. It seems to come from somewhere deeper and be torn out faster. I see stars and hear my own wail and for a change I don’t care about how I look or how I sound during sex, I just feel and feel and feel.
Nathan keeps moving through my orgasm and I feel him thickening in a way I didn’t think was possible. He’s so huge inside me I can’t seem to fathom how he’s able to move at all. “Fuck her harder,” Ethan orders from the corner of the room. “Make her raw.”
My pussy clenches at his words; the dirtiness of them, the naughtiness. I can see how the twins got their reputations but I also know they’ve gone easy on me this first time. This was about us coming together. This was a cementing of our feelings for each other. When Nathan comes he shout my name loud enough to wake the people in the adjoining room and I want to laugh at the bubble of happiness that forms inside me.
It might have taken us a while to get here. So much denial and guilt for feeling the way I did. But as Ethan and Nathan take their places on the bed on either side of me, I know for certain that I am exactly where I was always meant to be.