SWNOVELS HUGE STEPS: Chapter 25
Mom is striding towards our front door with the same look on her face as the time that me and Jared set off firecrackers down the sink drain in the tiny apartment we used to live in.
Abi practically flies out the door in hopes of stopping them from seeing everything we have stashed in our living room, and I scramble, helplessly trying to find something—anything—to cover up all of the baby things. There’s no way we can move fast enough.
“Shit, shit, shit,” I mutter. There are sheets in the linen closet, but how the hell would I explain what was underneath?
Jared’s eyes his eyes shift back and forth, clearly in the same mind-frame. There’s just no way of making this not seem batshit crazy. Maybe if Abi can distract them.
The door flies open and in storms Mom, her green eyes blazing, and Sam…he stares back over his shoulder as he walks in, this crazy pained expression on his face, his eyes on Abi when she slinks back inside.
Mom immediately spots me and Jared standing awkwardly in front of all the baby things as if we can actually hide all of it behind us. I don’t even bother with a guilty smile—there’s no getting out of this one.
She pushes past us easily, and brings her hand to her mouth, not covering up the loud gasp that escapes. When she turns back to face Sam, I’m not too sure her head isn’t going to explode right off her shoulders.
“Someone better explain to me what the hell is going on, right now,” she demands, looking first at us and then at Abi.
“I, uh. We should probably—” Abi begins, shuffling over to us slowly.
“—A rather crazy thing just happened, actually. Your father and I decided to stop for a bite to eat at the diner. My friend Rebecca was on her break and came and told us a little story about Cody running off at the mouth with his buddies at a booth. Apparently, Cody was telling everyone that you were pregnant. I told Rebecca he must have had it wrong, that there was no way… But then Sam’s buddy came by to congratulate me on being a grandma, telling us that he and his wife spotted you two,” she says, turning back to us with nothing but steel in her eyes, “coming out of the BabiesRUs with cart-fulls.”
It feels like she’s only a split-second from piecing it all together.
She drops her gaze down to the floor, slowly turning back to face Abi. “Is it true, Abigail? Are you pregnant?”
Abi’s lips tremble as she nods, and I can see the way she looks at her dad. I can feel just how crushed he is, and it’s almost too much for me to keep watching.
“Is it Cody’s?” Sam asks. Abi shakes her head and he looks toward us as if we can fill in the things that Abi isn’t saying.
Mom glances around the room, her eyes zeroing in the crib. “Why do you have a house full of baby things?”
Nobody says a word and the silence feels claustrophobic.
“If it’s not Cody’s, whose is it?”
Seconds tick passed and still, no one says anything. Abi looks as though she might throw up all over our parent’s feet. I gently take hold of her by the elbow and help her sit down. When I look back up at Sam, his eyes are narrowed and watchful.
“I am. Pregnant. I am pregnant,” Abi repeats, clearing her throat. “But it’s still really early. I only just found out.” A pang of pride shoots through me. I can only imagine how hard it must be for her.
Mom hesitates before finally asking, “And the father?”
Abi shakes her head. “I don’t know.”
A strange pained sound leaves Sam’s mouth. He turns from Abi as though he can’t bear to look at her and I want to shout at him for being this way. Mom looks so shocked too, as though an invisible hand just came in and smacked her across the face. The tension in the room has shot straight through the roof. I’m waiting for the eruption that seems inevitable.
“What do you mean you don’t know,” Sam says lowly.
Abi fiddles with her fingers, avoiding everyone’s gaze. “I mean that I don’t know for sure,” she says.
“I can’t believe this of you, Abi,” Mom says, shaking her head in total disbelief. “This is not the way your father raised you.”
I know she’s our mother, but hearing her talk to Abi like that makes me want to put my fist through the wall.
“Mom,” Jared says in a warning tone.
“What?” mom hisses. “I’m only saying what everyone will think.”
“I don’t care what everyone things,” I say, taking a step forward so that Abi is behind me and shielded from this. “Abi’s an amazing woman who has her head on straight despite what you’re insinuating and she needs our support, not our judgment.”
Sam takes a few steps closer to the weird crowd of us in front of the baby items, but he’s looking between me and my brother. “Why do you have a room full of baby things?” he asks. I guess he’s realized we never answered our Mom the first time the question was asked.
I glance at Jared and Abi, their expressions equally as torn as I know mine must be. We could keep it a secret, at least for a while longer, but still, everyone will eventually need to know the truth. If we lie to our parents now, it is going to make everything so much worse in the long run. The circumstances are not ideal, however you look at it, and the way our parents have come to hear about the news of the baby is awful.
There is no changing any of this, though. We are where we are.
We love Abi and I think she loves us, and although that baby is as tiny as a kidney bean, we all love it too.
I nod at my brother and Abi. Their eyes widen when they realize what I’m trying to tell them.
It’s time to get it over with.
“We bought the baby things,” I say, trying to keep my voice even. “We bought them to show Abi how serious we are about our baby.”
Seconds tick past and I start to wonder if I actually said that out loud or just in my head.
Sam’s eyes widen more like he can’t quite see what’s in front of him, and my Mom’s blinking so fast I know she can’t. A dry sob escapes her throat and she shakes her head, looking completely bewildered. “I. I…What?” Her mouth opens and shuts repeatedly.
“The baby is ours,” I say again.
Abi’s eyes are on the floor, her face flushed. Jared is staring at me as though he can’t quite believe this is happening. I’m never the one who keeps my head in situations like this. I’m the one who heads in like a bull in a china shop, then has to apologize for the broken wreckage I leave behind. I don’t know why I’m managing to keep from shouting this time. Maybe I’ve finally realized the importance of getting this message across in the right way. I have one chance. I have to do the best for our baby.
“Ours?” Mom says, disbelief raising her voice. “I baby can only be made by one man and one woman, Jamie. Are you saying that you…?” She doesn’t finish the sentence but looks between us to answer anyway.
“The baby could belong to either of us.”
Sam makes a strangulated sound. “You slept with both of them?”
Abi looks at him in horror. This is definitely not the kind of conversation you want to have with your father.
“Is that what you’re saying?” Mom hisses at me.
I nod.
She brings up her hand and points a trembling finger at me. I can see how livid she is. “I never thought I say this to you but I am disgusted. What the hell do you think you are all doing? We’re a family. This isn’t what you do in a family.”
“We’re not related to Abi, Mom,” Jared says softly.
“You’re related to your brother,” she shouts. “You slept with your stepsister, and so did your brother. Do you not see how many levels of wrong this is?”
I glance across at Sam who looks as though he’s struggling to keep it together.
“I’m so ashamed,” Mom says and I get a knot in my stomach. Those are words I’ve never heard from her before and I feel her disappointment. I knew this was going to hurt them. None of it is as we would have planned it, but I love Abi and I’m not prepared to be ashamed of our child.
Jared opens his mouth to say something but I put my hand up. I started this so I’m going to finish it, whatever the outcome.
“We love Abi,” I say, looking directly at Sam. I need him to know this. I need him to see that we plan to stand by his daughter and grandchild. “We love her and we’re happy about the baby. It may not be the ideal set up in the eyes of society, but we’re not going to hurt the people we love to fit in.”
“You’ve hurt me,” she spits. “You’ve hurt Sam. He took us into his home…”
Those words hang in the air and I hate to admit it but I do feel shame. She’s right. He trusted us and in his eyes, we’ve betrayed him.
“We love Abi,” I say again as though love has the power to make everything okay.
“Well, you shouldn’t,” Sam says. His voice sounds hoarse and his eyes are deadened. He shakes his head.
“Dad…” Abi says softly but he puts his hand up to stop her.
He looks between me and Jared, his jaw ticking with anger. For a moment I think he’s going to try and lay me out but he doesn’t. Sam turns and walks out the door and mom hurries after him, turning back to us as she heads through the front door. “You did this,” she says, her eyes filled with tears.
We watch as they get into the car. Neither of them seems to say anything as Sam gets the car into gear and drives away, leaving the three of us in their wake.