Chapter 14 ~ Truths
The epilogue of Oria is going to be uploaded to my Facebook group for a Christmas present for you all so make sure you join in! The link to my group can be found on my message board or simply search Scottish_writer on Facebook!
My eyes stayed locked on the russet wolf that watched me like it would soon devour me. Jasper was speaking but his words were lost to the rush of blood in my head. The stories were true, these lands were overrun with creatures from nightmares, if only they knew the monsters were really the people.
A touch to my shoulder and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I batted at Torian's hand, shoving myself away from him. I managed to scramble back to my feet, hands outstretched to ward him and the others off. Artair was here too, his gaze flicking from me to a terrified looking Jasper.
"We didn't know she was here," Jasper rushed, looking to Torian. "We wouldn't have come this way if we knew!"
"Enough, Jasper. Go home." Torian barked, his eyes never leaving me.
Jaspers mouth moved uselessly a few times before he nodded once and turned. A whimper left me, my hand flying to cover my mouth as I watched his shape change again. Two wolves ran from us and I was left alone with Torian and his brother.
Instincts told me to flee but fear kept me from moving. Like a deer under the hunters eye, I was caught and rooted. Torian's eyes seemed brighter somehow, something feral in their depths as he stepped towards me.
"Stay back!" I yelled desperately, swiping my hand at him.
He growled, the sound deep and rough. It sent a shiver up my spine. I could feel the warning in it, demanding that I don't run. He dropped my shoes beside him but I didn't care that I was still barefoot.
"You hit your head, wife," Torian said, softly now.
I snorted at the same time his brother did. Torian swung around to glare at Artair who's head ducked down. "Forgive me, brother, but I think it's well past time to try and persuade her that what she saw wasn't real. She is young and naive but not stupid."
Torian muttered something before looking back at me and the burn of his gaze made me stiffen.
Run, run run. . .
"Come back to the house with me. I'll explain everything, I promise. Don't try to fight me. If you manage to run, you won't get far," my husband ordered. It was a dark promise and one that I didn't doubt.
Part of me wanted to agree; to go with him and learn the secrets that had plagued me since I'd met him. I wanted the answers so badly. I wanted to know why I was here. But could I really trust Torian? Could I trust his family? None of them had shown any ill intention towards me after all. They'd welcomed me with open arms.
"You know we won't hurt you, lady Màili," Artair added. "We all gave our word and we do not break our word once given."
The two men watched me as I struggled with the fear that coiled deep in my stomach and the craving to know the truth. When I envisioned both men turning into wolves, fear won out and I darted left, running as fast as I could. Torian cursed and I could hear the thud of his boots on the ground close behind me. Sticks and twigs dug into my soles but adrenaline stopped me from really feeling any pain.
What had I been thinking? Of course I couldn't outrun him. That knowledge spiked my veins with terror as thoughts of what he'd do to me if he caught me circled my head. My long skirts snagged on branches, tearing the hem and slowing me down. I could practically feel fingers reaching out for me, the hair on the back of my neck standing on end.
"Màili! Stop!"
A surge of energy urged me on, coming from a place deep within. I seemed to fly over the uneven ground, jumping over fallen trees on a path my feet knew to guide me on. My surroundings became clearer, sharpening. I could hear the heavy breathing of Torian and his brother and couldn't believe they hadn't caught me yet.
Stumbling to my right when a branch snapped close to me, I gasped. There was a steep drop in front of me and the rumbling of a huge river as it cut through rock. Turning back, I could have cried out in anger. Torian and Artair were blocking my escape and my eyes darted back to the cliff edge. The river wasn't far below and I knew well how to swim.
"Don't you dare," Torian muttered darkly, taking slow, predatory steps towards me. "I'll just dive in after you. You'll find me far less amiable if you make me do that."
Artair looked pleading and it made me sick to think I'd spent a whole day alone with him. A monster acting as if he was for all the world a normal man. Lying to me. They'd all lied. But I could expose them. If I said the words they'd be arrested, perhaps executed for consorting with the court's Catholic devil. My stomach twisted at that. I couldn't sign death warrants of people who had shown me kindness.
"Màili, please," Torian spoke again and the sound of my name on his lips made me pause. I did so like to hear him say my name. . .
I was so caught up in replaying his words like he'd cast a spell on me that I didn't realise he'd moved closer until he reached out. More out of fright than deciding to seal my fate to the river had me stepping back. The rock crumbled beneath my feet and the ground gave me, arms flailing as I felt myself fall back. I squeezed my eyes shut and held my breath, preparing to hit the icy river but I never did. My head whipped back, my fall stopped by a strong hand gripping mine. My heart hammered in my chest and I sucked in a fearful breath, my legs swinging beneath me. I clung onto Torian, suddenly terrified to fall, more willing to face a pack of wolves with gnashing teeth than the jagged rocks that stuck out of the rushing water.
Torian yanked me roughly back to stable ground, placing me on my feet but my limbs felt like jelly and my legs gave out beneath me. My wrist jarred as I dropped, a sharp pain shooting up. Artair rushed forward, stopping when I flinched. He was hurt, I could see, hurt that I was scared of him. My husband said nothing and I peeked over to find him standing with a hand over his eyes. I could have died. Drowned. Been smashed to pieces on rocks. He'd saved my life.
I tore my gaze away, hating that I felt guilty. It was them who should feel guilty.
"You're overly reckless," Torian accused.
Saying nothing in reply, I closed my eyes. I felt suddenly exhausted and my head pounded something awful. Torian stepped closer and before I could move away, he grabbed me by my waist and threw me over his shoulder. I cried out in outrage, slamming my fist against his back but he didn't seem to feel my feeble attempts to make him put me down.
He chuckled, keeping his grip firm. "Come, brother. Before she decides to jump off another cliff."
***
I felt safer with my sword in my hands. The cool leather of the hilt and its weight was a comfort. Torian eyed the blade with a grim expression and I felt just that little bit more confident. He'd ignored the questions his family called out to him as they watched him carry me unwillingly up the stone stairs and now we were completely alone.
"I refuse to speak to you while you point a sword at me, wife," he growled, making sure to keep some distance between us.
I lifted my chin, keeping the blade pointed at his chest. "And I refuse to listen without it."
He bared his teeth at me, the action instinctual and primal. Rounding the table, I scampered to keep my back to the wall and my husband in front of me. My frenzy had him amused and my jaw clenched when I watched him reach for his own sword. I swallowed. It was no small blade he unsheathed, but a huge Scottish Claymore that dwarfed my sword. One swing of that and there would be little I could do to defend myself. Yet he didn't lift it and I paused, confused as he sat down heavily in a chair. He rested the blade pointed down against the floor and his hands folded over the hilt. Remaining wary, I waited for him to make a move.
"Now we are equal," he told me, motioning for me to sit also.
"I don't think this puts us in equal standings. I'm human, you are not," I hissed back.
Torian only laughed and leaned back, watching me the way an adult watches an unruly child. Was that what I was to him, a child? I might as well have been.
"What is it you think I am, my lady?" Torian asked in amusement.
For that I had no answer. I'd never heard of a beast that could take the shape of a wolf and live as a man while harbouring the nature of a wolf. Perhaps his family really did consort with the devil.
Hazel eyes continued to watch as I struggled with an answer.
"A demon," I finally mustered. "Something from the forgotten lands of Tir Na Nog."
Bellowing laughter came from my husband and I raised my sword in anger.
"A demon!" he chortled, slapping his leg. "Oh Artair would have laughed at that. I can assure you we're no demons. We've lived in these lands as long as the humans have."
The panic that I'd managed to keep at bay slowly rose again. My grip tightened around the hilt and the laughter left Torian's face. "Put the sword away so we can talk, wife, or I'll take the sword from you. This is the last time I'll ask and you won't like what happens if I'm forced make a spectacle of your disobedience."
"You said you wouldn't hurt me," I argued quickly and his lips twitched.
"I didn't say anything about hurting you."
The sinister tilt to his smile made me shudder and I considered carefully my options. I could hear him out and then make another escape when I had the chance, I could attack and hope I somehow managed to win, or I could try and call his bluff.
Slowly, I lowered my sword.
Torian nodded and laid his Claymore aside. I would have rather he moved it out of his reach but I settled for keeping my sword beside me as I took a seat in front of him. The chairs seemed too close together. I wanted there to be more distance between us but I was scared to so much as shove the chair back a little.
Torian sighed heavily. "Do I frighten you now?"
Without really meaning to, I nodded. I was more terrified now than I ever had been before in my life. Being surrounded by creatures so fearsome and strong made me feel insignificant. Weak. Something in me hated that. Gripping the arms of the wooden chair, I managed to choke out, "What are you?"
"We are Wulvers," Torian answered, as if I would know what that was. His eyes flicked over my expression and when he saw no recognition, he fumbled, muttering, "My father would be better at this."
"You're whole family are these. . .Wulvers?" I queried, forgetting for a moment my fear as i burned with curiosity. I wanted to know everything. Every secret. Every creature that lived amongst us. Yet at the same time, I wished I hadn't seen the wolves and had continued to live in ignorance.
Torian nodded, clasping his hands together on his lap. "Yes. And all on our land. Our whole clan is. . .our pack."
Pack. I mouthed the word, unable to explain the depth of emotion Torian had when he'd said it. It meant a lot to him, I could see that. My nails picked at a splinter of the chair, my heart still fluttering nervously. It was too much to comprehend. My mind still struggled with what I'd seen. Jasper had been the wolf. Id watched one become the other in the blink of an eye.
"I don't understand," I whispered, unable to look at my husband. I squeezed my eyes shut, rubbing my brow.
"Our kind are much like humans in many ways but in many ways we are also different. We hold two forms, that of our skin and our fur. There is no line between what is man and what is wolf. Our wants and needs are the same. We love and hate, we have leaders and fights, family and friends. My father is the Alpha, I will take his place when he steps down or if he dies. My mother is Alpha Female, his mate. My Uncle is Beta, but Artair will take his place if he chooses too-
"Stop, stop!" I cried out, standing so quickly my chair flew back with a screech.
Alpha, Beta, pack, the words meant nothing to me and sent my fear erupting again. They were all empty words about a community I knew nothing about. I was no fool. I followed the old ways of my ancestors and there were creatures in stories that my mother told me were real but I could never have imagined something like this.
Torian was quiet a while but I could feel the burn of his gaze on me as he watched me pace the length of our chambers. I must have looked like a madwoman muttering to myself, gripping my hair to stop my mind from twisting and turning through all I'd heard today.
"You must know it is true. I know a part of you believes and understands," Torian said, bringing me to a stop.
My heart skipped a beat.
"Why would you think that?"
I dreaded the answer. Somehow I knew the answer.
He could see I didn't want this truth but he told me anyway. "Your mother was one of us. Cast out by her pack, she married your father and hid you from our world in the hopes her pack would never find out and try to take you. She wanted another life for you. A safer life. But you wouldn't have been safe, you belong here with us. If we left you to live amongst the humans, someone might have started to notice you were different, any number of horrible things could have happened after that."
I didn't know what reaction my husband had expected but it surely wasn't the one he got. A bout of hysteric laughter bubbled up from some panicked and unbelieving part of my mind. He stared at me wide eyed as I laughed until tears streamed down my face. I'd been living a lie too then. A giggle caught in my throat, the smile fell slowly from my face. The next laugh came out as an anguished cry that would have been heard all through the house. Torian jumped to his feet and I starred sobbing so painfully hard, I had to hold myself up against the wall.
All I wanted was to be held and comforted but when Torian came closer with his hands outstretched for me, I shoved him away. "No! You don't get to touch me. Liar."
"I do not lie, Màili," he said sternly and this time the way he said my name made me shrink away
But he had to be lying. I knew who I was, what I was, that was all I had. I'd already given up my home for these people, my way of life, how could they take my identity away as well?
"No," I gasped, shaking my head.
The truth would mean my mother had lied to me all my life as well. "Why. . .she wouldn't. . .she wasn't. . ."
"I'm sorry, Màili. We just want to keep you safe."
There was more to it than that. I knew there was. They'd been worried I would somehow reveal their secret to the mortals around them too, I understood that. That was why they had to take me. The conversation I'd overheard his family having my first night here came creeping back and I remembered something Torian's cousin Owen had said. He couldn't understand why I had to marry Torian who would become leader rather than Artair. I didn't understand that either. Torian had told me himself he would become the next leader. . .the next Alpha, so why would I have been chosen by his father to stand by his side?
"Why me?" I choked out between sobs, daring to look up at him.
His hazel eyes looked soft for once as he regarded me. Reaching up, he tucked a wild strand of black hair behind my ear and his rough fingers left a trail of heat on my skin. "Because I knew you were meant to be mine. I don't know why or how, but I trust my instincts and my father does too. Perhaps I should have let Artair have you, maybe it would have been easier for you."
I wasn't attracted to Artair though, I wanted to say to him to ease the pain behind his eyes but I didn't. Couldn't. Slumping down to my knees, my fingers gripping the fabric of my dress, I let out a shaky breath. Was I really believing this? If so, should I not have been more scared, more angry?
"Talk to me, Màili," Torian whispered, the heat of his body against me.
My fingers twitched to reach out for him and bury myself in the comfort of him. I stopped myself, pressing instead against the cold stone wall. What was there left to say now? If I told him I felt the truth in his words and something deep down told me this was alright, this was where I was meant to be, would he think I was mad?
"A Wulver," I mumbled, testing the word out on my tongue.
There was that same feeling of acceptance in me then. A part of me now acknowledging that truth. Of course I wasn't human. I'd always known there was a difference between me and everyone else; something that made me faster, stronger, able to see and hear better. How many times had I heard the thud of hooves on the road before anyone else? How many times had I run miles in the forest without tiring? How many times had I been hunting with a bow and felt something wrong with doing it that way? I'd always felt out of place amongst the other young ladies and had put it down to the way my mother had raised me to be more than they were. I was right to an extent then, it was my mother that made me different.
"Yes. A Wulver. Future Alpha Female of Clan Lyall," Torian agreed.
My nose scrunched and I stayed curled up, fighting to find the right questions to ask that wouldn't tip my emotional stability over the edge. "I can't. . .I've never turned into. . ."
Torian shifted to sit on the floor beside me and sighed. "You might never."
My gaze flicked to him, tracing the lines of worry on his face. That was his fear, I realised, that I never would. He wanted me to be more like them. Would he discard me if I didn't?
"I don't see how that is bad," I mumbled, feeling relieved and yet frustrated too. I couldn't see myself as a wolf, it didn't make sense in my head. I was a half breed if Torian was to believed. Did that mean I would forever be an outcast? Not quite part of either world I now knew. Was that why Owen disliked me so much? It made sense.
"Alpha pairs must have children to keep the line of succession going much the same as the royalty, lords and ladies passing on their title. My mother does not know if your body would cope with carrying my pup if you didn't have the strength of your wolf draw on but I've seen the wolf in your eyes a few times. I believe we simply have to draw that part of you out. She's been asleep for so long, your mother made you weak by making sure that part of you was buried deep-"
"You be careful what you accuse my mother of!" I said sharply. "She loved me and protected me."
His eyes flashed gold and I jumped back, hitting the wall with a gasp. There was a thrumming in the air as Torian growled, actually growled at me. Without thought, my head bowed, tilting slightly to bare my neck. I stayed that way in shock until the energy in the air dissipated and I looked up to see Torian smiling.
"You wouldn't have known to submit to me, female, if your wolf wasn't strong in you," he noted.
"Wolf or no wolf, maybe I do not want to carry your pup." I threw those words at him with little thought or care and watched as the smile fell from his lips.
I stiffened, sure that he wouldn't let such words go. We's almost had a friendly conversation and I had to let my anger rule. He stood, towering over me and blocking the light. The mask slipped back onto his face, leaving me unsure of what he was truly feeling. "You are upset and emotional. I will leave you time to think over what I've told you. Stay or go Màili, that choice is yours. If by sunset tonight you have not left, I will forget what you said. If you have disappeared, I promise we will not come after you and you will be alone."
If he'd decided to let me run, I must have really hurt him. He left quickly after that and his words settled coldly in the air. I knew what he'd meant. I'd be the only one of my kind wandering around and that brought with it a danger. I couldn't be alone. So we both knew I'd stay because I needed answers and because of one glaring point; I had nowhere else to go.