Hope Sundered

Wyndham’s streets flooded with humanity, rushing towards M’klarin Keep. Nearby balconies swelled beyond capacity with citizens eager to catch a glimpse of their hero. Everyone was hungry to share in the success of the historic moment, except Lark.

“Is this necessary?” he whispered to Losigalender while maintaining his smile. They stood side by side on the steps of the palace, facing Lord Bel’ami and his retinue. Having hung a medal around Lark’s neck and declaring him Defender of Wyndham, the patriarch turned to address the elated masses.

“In a way, yes,” Losigalender whispered back.

“It’s not like I killed Zordecai. I took a difficult shot and got lucky, that’s all. Believe me, as an archer that’s satisfaction enough.”

“Luck or skill, you did what no one else here could hope to achieve. You were given an opening and you made the most of it. And the white arrows were your idea.”

Lark looked down at the gold medallion against his chest. “Captain Endari’s the real hero. If he hadn’t stopped those spies, we’d all be dead by now. Why isn’t he being recognized?”

“He was, just not publicly.”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“Lord Bel’ami believes if we told the public about the spies and just how close we came to utter ruin, the city would erupt in panic, and I agree with him. Knowing there could be more spies in our midst could lead to paranoia and unnecessary conflicts. Bel’ami is doing everything he can to keep hope alive, and this is a part of it.

“Zordecai might not be dead but he was wounded. You humiliated the enemy, Lark. That’s no small thing. People are beginning to shake off their despair. Besides, you’re a watch commander now, answerable only to the patriarch and Captain Endari. You shouldn’t feel useless anymore.”

Lark smirked. “Teaching archery will be far better than just sitting around.”

After the ceremony he returned to the crowded tavern he now called home. He knew much work remained to drive the Azrahterans away, but that was tomorrow’s problem.

Like everyone else at the Wall’s Shadow, Tanni was waiting to congratulate him. Overwhelmed with excitement, she greeted him by wrapping her arms around his neck. Swept up in the euphoria of the moment he returned the embrace, twirling her around.

They laughed together as the tavern erupted in a thunderous cheer. He set her down seconds later and they met each other’s gaze. The intensity of their shared emotion sobered them in an instant. They looked away to hide their mutual blush.

“I’m so proud of you,” she said as the crowd began to dissipate, daring to meet his eyes once again.

He was happy to see her, and delighted she’d been among the first to welcome him back, but in that moment, he realized she was more than a friend, which scared him a little.

The look in her eyes told him she felt the same.

⸞ ⸎ ⸟

“May I ask you something?” Lark said to Losigalender later that evening, joining the older man at his usual table.

“Of course,” Losigalender replied, motioning to the empty chair beside him.

“It’s personal.”

“I told you already, son; we’re family.”

“There’s a woman, a barmaid here named Tanni.”

Losigalender’s mouth formed half of a smile. “That sounded more like a statement than a question. Are you asking for my blessing or my advice?”

Lark sighed. “I don’t know. Both? I’m not even sure why I’m troubling you with this.”

“I’m happy to help if I can.”

“Do you think it’s wrong for me to love another woman?”

“Not at all.”

“But I still have feelings for Keila! I mean, is that even normal? She’s gone and I still think about her. Half of me wishes I didn’t, and the other half doesn’t believe I’ll ever stop.”

“There’s a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone, Lark. Keila was an important part of your life. Treasuring her memory doesn’t forbid you from loving another.”

“Do you think it’s too soon?”

Losigalender shrugged. “I can’t say. Everyone deals with grief in their own way and rarely the same way twice. Falling in love is the same. Examine your heart and decide whether or not you’re attracted to Tanni because of who she is, or because she fills a void in your heart. In other words, do you love her, or the idea of being in love?”

“I’m not sure,” Lark replied.

“Do you remember what caused you to fall in love with Keila?”

Lark opened his mouth to answer but paused, then shook his head. “I’m…not sure about that either. She was always there, and I just figured we were meant to be together.”

“Could it be she was just the best of limited options?”

Lark looked horrified. “How can you say that?”

“Because it was true. Chastin was a very small town. I’m not saying you weren’t well-suited for each other, but with the exception of your one trip to last year’s Spring Festival Tournament, neither of you ever had the chance to meet anyone else.

“Don’t get me wrong, Lark. I knew you would’ve made a fine husband and father, and she would’ve been happy and well cared for. But neither of you ever really had other options.”

“What about Daryn or Arec?”

Losigalender smiled and shook his head. “Honorable lads to be sure, but the twins were more like brothers to her.”

“What about Ekard?”

Losigalender’s smile dissolved. “I know it’s wrong to speak ill of the dead, but there was always something…off about him. I don’t know how to define it. Just a feeling, but if he’d asked me, I would’ve have given him Keila’s hand.

“Anyway, enough of this silly debate. I think you should take tomorrow to consider the truth of your feelings for Tanni, then decide what you want to do about it.”

Lark rose and turned to go, but stopped. “May I ask you one more thing?”

“Of course, son. What is it?”

“Did you ever consider remarrying?”

“No.”

Lark blinked, surprised by the speed and certainty of the answer. “Why not?”

Losigalender smiled. “I never had a reason.”