Honored (Book 2 of the In Search of Honor series)

Chapter 9: Bitter Bread (Part 1)



The silence that followed my words clawed at my head. I’d messed up. I shouldn’t have listened to Daniel. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I shouldn’t have spoken. I should have left everything unsaid till later,” My voice was rising, and I couldn’t stop blabbing. “We don’t have time for this now, and I just went and spoke what was on my mind. We’d even said we would speak later. If you want to pretend that I didn’t say anything -”

Arms gripped me tightly and I stopped talking and looked up into his warm brown eyes. “It doesn’t matter what is said, or not said. I love you too. You are my best friend, and I wouldn’t want to face anything without you.”

His warmth stripped my fear and doubt away. Yes. Best friends. I wrapped my own arms around him. Is this what love truly was? This comfort and strength that I found standing wrapped in his arms.

Someone coughed, and I pulled back slightly to see the three other men standing in the room staring at us. Dan slowly pulled away while still looking down at me with a soft and open expression. His right hand reached up and gently stroked the hair next to my cheek for just a second, his eyes wide, and then his hand dropped. He sighed, and as he was turning away to face the other men in the room, I could see lines drawing out from his eyes as his eyebrows closed in on each other and a frown formed.

“What do you want from us right now? We just survived being executed and running through a bunch of underground tunnels. I think a little break would be nice.” His voice sounded rough and his shoulders slouched forward a bit.

Henry stepped forward and ran his hand through his black hair, “I know. I’m sorry, but as much as I would like to give you a break, there is war happening in this city and we have to keep planning or else we will lose. If we lose, we are all dead and I know as much as my wife wants me to win this war, she also wants me to come home to her at the end of this.”

I sighed and walked forward toward the table. The map in front of me looked blurry, and I rubbed my eyes to clear them. Dan was right. It had been a long day, and now that fatigue was wrapping its cloak over my shoulders.

There on the table was a full map of the above ground city. It didn’t just have the districts like most maps. Instead it was filled in with shop names, roads, warehouses, stacks, and most honored estates. All the way up to the road that led to the King’s castle on the single hill in the center of the city. Place on this map were metal square rods with either a blue or a red splotch on top of them.

Henry pointed at a blue rod. “The blue are our fighters, the red are city guards still loyal to the king. We are trying to convince them to switch sides, but this is our current positioning.”

There were many more red bars than blue bars. “Do the bars each represent the same number of people?”

Henry nodded, “Yes. Each bar represents about 100 souls fighting and dying for a cause.”

“And we only have 5 bars?” How were we supposed to do anything against the city guard with our 5 bars against their 15 red bars spread across the city?

“That is why we are only holding a small part of the city. We have other guerrilla fighters loyal to us spread throughout the city that are attempting to sabotage the city forces, but we only have the 500 or so fighters.” He pointed at the small area around the warehouses that he said the forces held, “We’ve built multiple barricades across the streets and can fall back to further in barricaded points. We also have superior equipment thanks to your wall supporters. “

It still didn’t make me feel any better looking at the sea of red across the city and the small blue corner we held.

As if to echo my thoughts, Daniel stepped forward and tapped the corner our focus held. “It looks like a terrible situation on the map, but I think we can hold it. What I think our people need though is a morale boost. They need to be reminded of what they are fighting for and we need to try and recruit more of our guerrilla forces to do more actual attacks throughout the city to disrupt their guard forces more.”

“Shouldn’t the pamphlets help with that?” I asked.

Daniel looked at me, his green eyes looking straight at me as his face twisted into a grimace, “Maybe. We hope. But I don’t think the Wall will make them quick enough or that they will be enough.”

Dan’s arm brushed against mine, and stayed there. I looked over at him, and his frown seemed to be even more intense than when he had looked away from me earlier. “You aren’t planning on having Liv go out there and speak to them are you? “

“NO!” Henry and Daniel shouted at the same time with wide eyed denial.

Henry waved his arm in front of him as if trying to wipe away the suggestion. “We don’t want Liv moving around for fear that movement from her could be figured out by the guards and they might attack us when we don’t have many forces around.” Henry’s eyes narrowed as he seemed to be looking into Dan’s soul, “What we want is you.”

“Me?” Dan took a step back, and I reached down and grabbed his hand wanting to hold onto the warmth of him near me.

“Yes.” Henry smiled as if he had already won a battle. “So far you’ve just been the quiet shadow, but we want you to become part of the face of this fight. Tell the men stories about life beyond the wall. Tell them about your village and the difference between here and where you are from. Tell them all of this with that strange way of speaking you have that sometimes slips in. Liv brings ideals to this fight, but you are concrete evidence of a world beyond this city.”

Dan interlaced his fingers with mine, “No. I am Liv’s guard. I am here to make sure she stays safe through this crazy fight of hers.”

Daniel shook his head, “You are much more important than that. If you want to live we have to win this war. Other people like me can guard her. Only you can tell stories of a world beyond the Wall.”

Dan glared at Daniel, “No. I’m not leaving Liv. You want stories then both Liv and I can go. I’m not leaving Liv.”

“We can’t have Liv leave the safety of this hiding place!” Henry shouted and stomped his foot in frustration.

I had to make this decision. Neither side seemed interested in budging. I didn’t want to let go of Dan, but in this case it seemed the only way. I had to let go. We had to win to survive, and Dan was less of a high profile target. I pulled my hand out from Dan’s with him desperately holding on. “I think what they are saying is correct. They have guards here who are perfectly capable, and it probably is best for me not to attract too much attention. You should go.”


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